Everything about my day

Today we met with the chef and our sales rep at the Hilton to have our taste test of all the food for the conference. All I gotta say is mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Our ladies are in for a real treat. Dealing with Hilton has just been extraordinary. Right down to the fact that they had us come in and taste every starch, every vegetable, desserts, etc. and pick EXACTLY what we wanted for the banquet at the conference. We are so excited. It's going to be great.

I've been cranking out work, messages for upcoming things, and trying to get everything squared away so we can have a few days off. We have been running here and there with everything from funerals to ACMC to you name it and I think my last day off was a few Fridays ago. At least two. I am looking forward to this week...really anticipating it.

Our friends Randy and Dawn are coming in tonight. (Our friends of 20+ years...used to be Larry's youth pastors, then I worked for them at TC, then we both worked for them when they were our SP's, now they are just our best friends.) :-) They pastor Celebration Christian Center A/G in Mesa, AZ.

So, Larry is picking them up from the airport. I have been putting finishing touches on scrubbing floors, and all that kinda stuff. Haven't been home to do it in the past week or so. Everything is ready at this point. I'm just settling down and waiting for them to arrive which they will in about 30 minutes or so and thus will begin a wonderful five days of a visit. We usually stay up so late talking every night by the time we say goodbye our voices are all hoarse from talking ourselves out. We talk on the phone all the time but you know, in person it's different.

Got a real bummer of a phone call tonight. The principal of the high school called all the parents on their phone tree system to tell everyone that 3 seniors were in an SUV driving home from school and it rolled over. One was killed, two are still in critical condition. They are having counselors at the school tomorrow. I talked to Dustin and he doesn't know them, but a few kids in youth do. I just prayed for the parents tonight and of course the remaining two kids who are hanging on in critical condition that they might be healed. I just hate to hear stuff like this. So senseless. Evidently the kids were passing on the shoulder of the road, got back on and flipped over. No other car was involved. Lord, please help these families.

Reading in Oswald Chambers tonight when I had a few moments to sit in the quiet. He says, "Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a commonsense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith. But common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense. In fact, they are as different as the natural life and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your commonsense life continue to shout, "It’s all a lie"?"

Just sort of makes me think of some leaps of faith I've been taking. I often try to figure out things through common sense. Sometimes having common sense is not the best thing because you try to analyze the heck out of everything and figure out a way to make it work when God is just wanting you to watch HIM make it work! I'm learning to do that more, although it's really taking time.

Also reading in Hebrews 13 tonight. It talks about being content (in a good way.) That's something in a few areas of my life God has been speaking to me about.

Speaking of being content, we still don't have another car. But I'm content. Because I don't know what to do. I feel kind of like a heel to tell you this but I still feel a pang every time I think of buying a car. It's been over three months. We are going into four months now since the car was totaled and we are still juggling our schedules immensely to handle ministry, personal errands and everything involved in having three kids. We've rented a car on two weekends that would have been impossible not to. I didn't drive them - Larry did both times. We've stopped shopping for now. I don't think we've looked in at least a month...haven't been on a lot once. When I think of "signing on the dotted line" I just get so sad and then I start asking myself, "why? Are you cracking up, Deanna? Do you need to go to Emerge?" I dunno, maybe I do. All I know is this...part of me says, have Larry just get a car for himself and claim both cars as his and then I will just drive the van whenever I need something since it really carries no emotional feeling for me at all when I get into it or out of it. But then again I don't want to do that in some ways because with the way Larry is (extremely financially conservative) he's been known to keep a car for over 10 years, drive it into the ground until it breathes it's last breath. I may actually get over this at some point in the next year or two and want my own car, but then it will be too late. He will not want to trade either one in to give me my own car. Everytime I think "car" I just have angst right now. Nothing feels right. Nothing seems right except doing nothing and just making it work somehow without one.

Larry seems fine to just rent an extra car when we need one. This is what Ada suggested in the first place and I think he thought it was kind of crazy but I actually think he's starting to enjoy it - having the experience of testing out another car for a few days. So we'll see what the future holds. In few things am I willing to just "stand still" and do nothing but this is one of them. When we rent cars we get them from a place right next to Masters Collision, the body shop the Mustang went to. Everytime I have to drive in there to drop Larry off for the rental car my hands tighten up on the steering wheel and I just take a deep breath. Something in me just tells me I need to wait until I don't feel that way anymore to get another car. And my husband seems fine with that...for this I am ever grateful.

A look into my life today...

Getting up was a glorious experience. I had eight whole hours of sleep last night!!! Anybody who knows me very well knows I keep late hours to get everything done. And actually my best hours for working are at night. It’s when I think best and can create. But yesterday, we were at the Hampton Inn for co-hort, and the beds and the shower are SO comfortable (I’m a real fan of both Hampton Inn, and Hyatt) that you can get such a great rest if you make a point to. And, I made a point to. So glad I did.

Sunday night we had newcomers night. I was exhausted from a full day. We had a good service Sunday morning with eight people filled with the Holy Spirit! God is so good. Larry had a meeting all afternoon and Savanna and I had to go home and clean for newcomer’s night. With being away speaking on Fri/Sat I never got to it. So we had to go home right away after service. She said, “Momma, I know you’re tired. Go ahead and take a nap.” (Sometimes, she’s not only brilliant, but kind…) I went in to take a power nap before busting through and cleaning and when my alarm went off she came in and said, “Momma, I’m getting a lot done. Sleep a little extra.” So I did! Talk about incredible. It was better than hitting the lotto. You know, sometimes at this stage of one's life sleep is such a valuable commodity you'd rather have it than anything. I got up a little bit later. There was still a lot to do, HOWEVER, she did AT LEAST half of it! Sometimes your kids can just make you so proud. This was one of those times.

So I got up, did the rest of the cleaning and we had the newcomers over. I did get some packing done for cohort but not all of it. Went to sleep and had an early morning, getting packed and to Lauderdale in time for the meeting. We had a good meeting and went out afterwards to dinner with at least half the people from our group and Russ had us laughing so hard at dinner I literally cried all my make-up off. He told a story that was perhaps one of the most funny “church stories” I have ever heard. I’m going to tell it here for you readers…and if anybody’s offended, don’t tell me. Just call up Pastor Russ Jones in Palm City and chastise him over it. Okay…

A few years ago in his wife’s home church in Indiana on a Sunday night, the pastor asked if anyone had a testimony. An older gentleman who was often known for long testimonies raised his hand. The pastor said, “Bro. Jim,” (or whatever his name was)…”go ahead but please keep it brief.” So he said, “Okay, I’ll be quick pastor. I just wanted to give praise to the Lord for his protection over us. The other night my wife and I were laying in bed and a huge chunk of plaster fell from the ceiling and hit me right on the back of the head, and we’re just so grateful because if it didn’t hit me on the back of the head it would have hit my wife right in the face!”

The whole congregation started laughing and couldn’t stop. Finally the pastor had the associate go up to the pulpit and pray to close out the service and he went out the side door of the platform to his office and broke down in uncontrollable laughter. Is that not one of the funniest things you have ever heard?! So when Russ tells this story, I am laughing so hard I’m crying into my napkin at Carrabbas. Actually I had already laughed myself silly over some other things which I probably shouldn’t blog in it’s entirety for the protection of others. But I will just say what I can safely to illustrate just one funny thing.

A teaching was going on and it was supposed to be a totally serious time but everyone took some things about it funny so we were trying not to laugh. Pastor Gary (Gray) always thinks about slaughtering pigs when he wants to keep a straight face. Now, that right there makes me crack up. He says he just says, “slaughter pigs, slaughter pigs,” in his mind and imagines it and it grosses him out and helps him keep a straight face. So here he is in the midst of this teaching trying to do that. And then Larry pulls out his cell phone with the photo he has on there of me holding a real pigs head, that I was lifting up when I was “picking” the pig a few weeks ago that we had roasted for the latin festival. And they see me with this pigs head and absolutely crack up. So funny.

We actually didn’t get back too late and I crashed at the hotel and slept for a whole wonderful eight hours and then woke up to the incredible shower at the hotel. I could just stay in there forever – it’s like a back massage. After cohort we went to Primanti’s with Russ and Betty. And then I talked them into stopping by a thrift store on the way home and I picked up another tea set. I know, I need that like a hole in the head but quite truthfully I will use it! (I use all of my teapots, no matter how many I have.)

Co-hort featured two topics this time – public relations again and then our second day was just for coaches and we got further training on coaching. We even did some role playing and stuff and it was pretty fun. Everyone comments that no matter how good the teaching is – the smorgasboard of ideas is even better. There really is nothing like the interaction between everyone there and sharing where we’re at in our journey and what needs to happen next in our ministries, and how to get there. Truthfully, some of the relationships in co-hort kept me sane during certain times…I don't know how I would have navigated some issues without them.

Well, we’re home again now and came home to a mess. Such is life. We have company coming tomorrow night but at this time I am too tired to care. Thankfully they are friends who will understand, I’m sure. I have a few days off coming unless hindered by Satan.

(I Thessalonians 2:18 “Wherefore we would have come unto you, even I Paul, once and again; but Satan hindered us.”)

It even happened to Paul, just as it happens to us, although he didn’t face exactly the same emergencies, never the less stuff still happened. And I plan on praying against that. I realize people never plan these things – they can’t help it – but I know Satan DOES. (Because he honestly hates pastors having a day off. It’s part of his plan just as Daniel 7:25 says, his plan is to wear us out.) So hopefully – in Jesus name - we’re covered for some impending down time.

And this, my friends, is a look into my life, for today. TTYL

Today is the day of salvation!!!

For dogs?

Last night Larry and I were watching a news show and they were reporting on Michael Vick. Lawyers were debating what his sentence should be and the debate was getting heated. Somebody brought up the fact that supposedly this past week, Vick said he "found Jesus." The newscasters were asking if this should make any difference in his sentence or the public forgiving him for what happened with the dogs. One of the lawyers, being totally serious, said, "Michael Vick found Jesus this week. Unfortunately that was something these dogs did not get a chance to do..."

We laughed so hard. Lawyers can sometimes really grasp at straws and this was really one such time.

I began to feel kind of convicted. In ten years of having our dog Geena I don't think any of us have shared the plan of salvation with her. I mean, according to these lawyers, time has not run out yet for her to make that decision...

When some girls have to talk

it's painful. What will this girl have going for her when she's older and starts to sag? Um, really nothing unless something really changes over the next few years, bless her heart.

Wonder Woman Part II

Today I'm continuing, and finishing the highlights from my "Wonder Woman" teaching that I brought at the ACMC. Here we go:

6) Have a game plan

I have a call of God on my life to pastor, to write, to preach. I also happen to be a wife of 20 years, and a mother of 3 children who are 10, 16, and 17.

When my children were born, I had a strong desire to continue pastoring, writing and speaking. I heard everyone talk about how my life was going to completely change and although I desired to have children, I feared the change. What started the fear in the beginning of my pregnancy with Dustin (my 17 year old) were people in the church where my husband and I served as youth and music pastor, respectively. As my pregnancy progressed, people would come up to me and hug me, with a look of sadness and say, "It's been so nice having you, Pastor Deanna. It was nice working with you." After several people doing this, as if my ministry was in the past tense, I thought, "is something going on that I don't know about? Am I about to be fired, and everyone else knows it before me?" I thought everything was okay...that I was doing a good job, that the pastor and I were on good terms.

Well, we were. Everything was fine with my job performance and with the pastor. The truth of it is, the people were used to seeing women stop everything once they got pregnant or had a baby, and some thought it was "the only right thing to do" for any woman but especially a Christian woman and...a pastor's wife? Most people just assumed I was going to resign everything once the baby was born. A lot of people were shocked that I kept leading while I was pregnant. I found this with all three of my pregnancies. Well, times have changed and this is not as much of an issue now, but even 20 years ago, it was harder than it is now.

I have to be honest with you that I sought the Lord and first asked Him if it was alright with him that I continue. I sensed from Him that I was not to stop. So despite the "vibes" I was getting from some other Christians I decided to follow my heart. I told the Lord that I'd be willing to do whatever it took to continue in ministry not only in my home but outside of it. I found that what it would take was a tremendous amount of forethought, planning and organization.

A week after Dustin was born, I began by giving the baby and myself two and ½ hours to prepare for church. That first week set me on a course of planning that has served me well to this day. I learned that nothing can be left to chance.

Notice in our cities, in our nation, there is an “emergency plan.” The mayor, the governor, the president all have one. So the woman in ministry must have one. Each day I have my “emergency plan” in place.

Since the kids were born, except for each of their births, one gall bladder operation a few years ago, one bout of the flu this past March, and my son’s hospitalization two weeks ago, I can't recall that I’ve never missed much of anything in 17 years, and that’s largely due to my emergency planning. I expect an emergency every single Sunday morning and Wednesday night.

HOW DO WE AVOID THE SUNDAY MORNING CRUNCH?

Since the kids were just babies, I have given myself double the time it takes to get ready for church. A mother must first get herself up before the children and get completely ready otherwise things are chaos and quickly get out of control. Once I was completely ready, I began to get the kids ready. In their baby years, I gave it 2 and 1/2 hours. One hour for me, one hour for them, and then 30 minutes for any "emergency." I discovered, 30 minutes is more than enough time to change a last minute messy diaper, to completely change a set of soiled clothes. It’s enough time to change a pair of panty hose with a runner. It’s enough time to change a flat tire. It’s enough time to fill up the gas tank if you get in the car and the tank is on “E”.

Some things I always did...some that I still do:

1) Every Saturday night I get everything laid out -- no exceptions. This means down to the socks, shoes, belts, underwear jewelry, etc. for EVERY SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER. Ironing done, and nothing left to chance.

2) Bottles prepared (I nursed my children and I used to pump an extra bottle or two, then freeze them and take out what I needed for Sunday morning or Wednesday night and put it in the diaper bag. I always had a pumped bottle ready for the kids if I would be ministering on the platform and they started screaming, someone just gave them one of the bottles I pumped until I was done leading worship or preaching. As soon as I was done I usually went to my office or the nursery and fed them if they had not already taken it.)

3) Bibles, notebooks, briefcases, diaper bags - (completely stocked up, organized, in car the night before (except for bottles.) At this point in our lives with older kids, we aren't dealing with bottles and diapers but I still put anything I need in the car the night before such as briefcases, etc..

4) I always prepare lunch for Sunday on Saturday (unless we plan to go out after church.) I also set the table the night before so we can just come home to it. It really helps because I'm tired on Sunday afternoon and it's nice not to have to do it then.

5) Coffee pot set and ready to go for morning. "Starbucks cup" ready to fill up and take to the office/church!

6) Check to see how much gas is in the car

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

If the family wants to go somewhere or do something Saturday night they know all this needs to be done first.

You say, "this will make me so tired." I submit to you, it's a lot more tiring to be running around at the last minute, with chaos reigning. It's a lot more stressful to have a bunch of things piled up because you procrastinated. It's a lot more tiring to be running late all the time or not arriving at all. I always hear people say, “we’re just in survival mode.” I’m convinced it doesn’t have to be that way.

Note that these things above work not only for Sunday mornings but for anytime!

7) Use spurts of time during the week wisely

If I have even 15 minutes free time, I use it constructively. If I am waiting for someone to arrive at my home and they are a few minutes late in meeting with me, I take time to clean out a small drawer in the kitchen, or I throw a load of clothes in, or clean out a rack of the dishwasher.

Resources to help:
* Emilie Barnes books
* Alexandra Stoddard books
* Flylady (http://www.flylady.net/)

Regarding home I have found it helps to:
· Do a load of laundry a day
· Focus on one room a night after work
· Take 15 minutes here and there on small chores like cleaning out a drawer
· Never just sit and talk on the phone – always be doing something. I always make sure my cordless phones are charged up…if somebody calls I don’t just sit there and counsel them – I’m usually re-straightening a linen closet or throwing old stuff out of the fridge or something.
· Throw mail away the day it comes in if it’s junk
· Do all deeper cleaning on Saturday
· Enlist the family’s help – how can our kids be a missionary in Africa if they can’t even make a bed?

8) Be willing to accept help.

Don’t be too proud to accept help. Some people feel a call to help those in leadership. Or you may have a good friend that wants to bless you by helping in some way. Let them.

Everyone who has ever been successful in life had someone who helped them get there.

Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft, has a photo in his office of a turtle that is up high on a fence post. It's clear that the turtle had no other way to get on that fence post other than the fact that someone put it there. Bill has this up in his office to remind him that it takes people to get us where we need to be.

There are people who have helped me over the years with my children, with my home, with the church…they are Godsends. Do not be too proud to receive help, to delegate, to allow people to serve you, and then thank people appropriately.

9) Invest in yourself

Your health – your body (no matter how you feel about it) does amazing things for you each day. You have to take care of it because it is what houses your spirit while here on earth and is the vehicle from which you carry out your ministry. Keep up with diet, exercise, doctor's appointments, etc.

"The best gift you can give the people you lead is a healthy, energized, fully surrendered, focused self. And, no one else can do that for you." Bill Hybels

Your emotions – friends are important – SCHEDULE THEM IN! Prioritize time with them. This is not an option for health - it’s an necessity.

Your mind – books, conferences, seminars, etc. When you stop learning, you stop growing.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!

10) Rest

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Genesis 2:2 NIV


Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.
Leonardo Da Vinci

One of the most important things to a Wonder Woman is rest. If you don’t get it, it will be kind of hard to see the wonders God wants to do through you.

Rest is one of the most important things in self leadership. Because if you don’t rest, you can’t keep going.

God had a Sabbath day…He rested. Jesus would come away to the mountains to rest, to pray, to get away from the crowds.

Mark 6:31 NIV “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."

SOLITUDE IS ESSENTIAL.

On my day off, I don't feel guilty that I am taking time off and that I expect people not to contact me except for emergencies. I have earned my day of rest. I work hard, and I have no problem taking my Sabbath.

May you put these principles to work to accomplish more in your lifetime for the Kingdom of God than ever before! I bless you to go forth...to flourish...to be wise in the way you use your time...to redeem it! As you commit your work to the Lord (Proverbs 16:3) I believe it will succeed! I pray that God will use YOU as HIS Wonder Woman!

God's Wonder Woman - II

Continuing on the highlights of my "Wonder Woman" teaching from the ACMC on Fri/Sat, and yesterday's blog, let's start part II with the first five of ten keys I shared to 'becoming a Wonder Woman"...

1) Learn from Jesus

In the book, Ordering Your Private World, Gordon MacDonald gives three reasons why Jesus took control of His time:

1) He understood His mission – not even Satan could convince Him to change His priorities.
2) He understood the source of His power. He realized that he would need the private time of 40 days in the wilderness, and the prayer and fasting to overcome the enemy in a time of weakness. He budgeted that time to prepare.
3) He made intentional choices about his time – invested prime time in the disciples, debriefed them when they returned from assignments, took time to rebuke them when they failed, affirm when the succeeded.

It was amazing that at the end of three short years of ministry, Jesus was able to say, “I have finished the work that you gave me to do” John 17:4

2) Put God at the top of your list of priorities.

Proverbs 10:27 (TLB) “Reverence for God adds hours to your day.”

We need to realize, we are too busy not to take time for God. Bill Hybels has an excellent book, “Too Busy Not to Pray.”

Martin Luther has been quoted as saying “I have so much to do today that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

Something that I have learned is that first of all, I’m a different person leading when I don’t have my time with God. There’s nothing to pull from, nothing to flow with. It’s just me, and quite honestly I'm a pretty shallow person without the Lord!

I have to find the time that’s best for me and give it to the Lord. What do I mean by “what’s best for me?” My finest hours. My best hours. The time when I am at my best and most able to hear him. In my case I'm a "night person." It's when I thinking best and so I like to give that time to the Lord.

Matthew 6:33 “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Resources I recommend as devotionals or just a "deeper walk with God"...
· Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge – book and workbook
· Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts
· My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

Develop a worship, Word and prayer life totally aside from Wednesdays and Sundays – in your “Secret Place” with God. If I only ate physical food two days a week I would get VERY crabby. It is any wonder some Christians are very touchy, grouchy people? They only eat spiritually two times a week.

3) Ask God for your life’s agenda

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by.”
Annie Dillard

Where are you headed? Maybe you know where you are right now, today and what God has called you to lay your hand to, but how about 10 years from now? What do you need to prepare for?

Obviously only God knows many things and chooses to reveal only so much to us, but we can ask Him for what we do need to know.

Just as it is helpful for churches or organizations to have a vision statement and a mission statement so it is helpful for individuals to have them.

My purpose statement:
The purpose of my life is to reach people for Christ and restore and empower them through writing, speaking and personal mentorship, bringing them to a place of impacting others with their God-given potential.

After establishing your purpose, then work on listing your top areas of priority, and your short term and lifetime goals.

If you don’t know exactly who you are, somebody else will not hesitate to tell you. Figure out your purpose and vision to get there, and then hone in on it.

Dwight L. Moody: “Give me a man who says, ‘this one thing I do’ and not ‘these fifty things I dabble in.’”

We need a God thing, not just a good thing. People call me all the time asking me to serve on this or that committee, or help out with various causes. If it is not in line with my life's purpose and mission, I don't do it.

4) Ask God for your weekly agenda

No matter what your season in life YOU HAVE AN AGENDA. You have a mission. Nobody gets a free ride in this life.

YOU HAVE A JOB DESCRIPTION AT ALL PHASES OF YOUR LIFE – SOME PEOPLE HAVE JUST NOT GIVEN HEED TO THEIR JOB DESCRIPTION OR HAVE IGNORED GOD WHEN HE HAS TRIED TO GIVE IT TO THEM.

Understand this, even a stay at home mother has a JOB DESCRIPTION. You have an agenda set forth by God EVERY DAY. Are you listening for his agenda and following it, or just letting life 'happen to you'?

"Always remember the powerful importance of linking your habits to your life purpose." ~ Mike Murdock

A weekly “initiative list” is a must.

Why a list? Very important to put things in writing.

Other reasons:

· You have no doubt about what must be done.
· You are able to put related tasks together or in order.
· You are free from worrying about trying to remember things all the time.
· You have a sense of accomplishment when you cross things off the list.

Have your initiative list that you go by and also a small notebook all the time for thoughts and important things that come to mind.

Nothing different is going to change in your life until you change what you do DAILY!

YOU ARE WHAT YOU REPEAT!!!

Each Thursday my initiative list is made and printed out for the coming Monday so I can see where I’m headed.

Everything goes into colorful folders that I enjoy that I keep in my briefcase which is sort of my “traveling office.” I have an office at the church but I keep things I need at a moments notice in all my folders. My favorite folder always holds my initiative list and calendar which I call my most important book after the Bible.

5) Be your own parent

The reason most people don’t get anything done is because they live with no accountability – first of all to themselves.

Self leadership – it's important to spend at least 50% of your time leading yourself. If you can't lead yourself, y9ou can't lead anyone else.

· When I make my weekly initiative list up on Thursday for the following Monday through Saturday, I divide the list items up.
· If I am going to be working six days and I have 30 items on the agenda, I have to complete five items on my list each day in order to be done by my day off.
· If I have not completed all five for the day and someone calls and asks me to do something, I say no.

This is so simple yet most people are not willing to do it. I’ve heard people say, “how fun is that?” i submit to you - not getting your work done is no fun. Being under pressure at the last minute because you procrastinated is less fun than sticking to your agenda and being organized. Having nothing accomplished is no fun.

No rest is worth anything except the rest that is earned.
Jean Paul

Leading yourself and holding yourself accountable actually frees you to do more. Also, you must plan for times of rest. One of the reasons I work so hard during the week is because I want to ENJOY my day of rest and I have no problem telling our staff or people, “don’t call me!” I work hard, they know I really work hard and I don’t feel a bit bad to tell them, “unless somebody just died or had a heart attack, don’t call.” We’re going to talk about rest later, as we progress on to the next five things...

Stay tuned tomorrow for the final five!

Today's the Day!

Did you know that today is National Women's Equality Day in America?

In celebration of this historic day, Pastor Tara Sloan and I announce the launch of our new blog, "Equal Time". We will both be the primary contributing writers on the blog however, it is also our goal to feature many articles by egalitarian writers.

We are so excited about this new venture and hope it is a blessing to you.

We are both blessed to be a part of the Assemblies of God fellowship, a group which celebrates women in leadership and officially holds an egalitarian view, meaning that we believe in the Biblical equality of women. In fact, our new superintendent-elect of the Assemblies of God, Rev. George O. Wood, has done some extensive Biblical research and much writing and speaking on this issue and is a passionate advocate for the equality of women. To read one of his sermons on this topic, go to Superintendent Elect Dr. George Wood.

It is our prayer that you will find Equal Time to be encouraging, empowering and thought provoking, not only for women, but for men too. Because equality for women is not just a women's issue...much like racial equality, it is all of our concern. We hope you stop by soon and visit us at "Equal Time."


e·gal·i·tar·i·an (ĭ-gāl'ĭ-târ'ē-ən) adj. Affirming, promoting, or characterized by belief in equal political, economic, social, and civil rights for all people

God's Wonder Woman

Today I spoke once again at the All Church Ministries Conference in Lakeland. They requested that I bring a teaching called, "God's Wonder Woman." Evidently I've gotten a reputation for being able to multi-task. :-) I'm going to break my teaching down over the next few days in a few posts for my blog readers. What follows is my introduction. Hope you enjoy! Stay tuned each day for more...

I saw a book in the Christian bookstore recently and it was something to the effect of, “I’m not a wonder woman”…and I thought, “yes I am!”

Daniel 11:32 says, “but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits”.

The Bible says that signs and wonders will follow them that believe.

John 14:11-13 says “Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.

I believe God wants to work through us in astounding ways, especially in these last days. I believe He is calling for His women to be wonders! I believe He wants to use each of us in miraculous ways. Time is short. We are in the last days. What incredible times we live in. Did you know, there are more people alive today than have lived and died since Adam? Signs and wonders WILL follow them that believe. I believe He wants to do it through you and through me. He wants the world to see us and be amazed at what He is doing through us.

I have sought God on this. Since I was just a young girl, I have been one that has wanted to do a lot for the Kingdom of God. And for years now, many people have told me, “slow down honey, you have a whole lifetime to get things done…”

While I do believe in taking time to stop and smell the roses, I don’t want to spend all my days living in the garden! The same people who preach, “time is short! We’re in the last days! Life is but a vapor!” are also the ones saying, “slow down, honey…”

The bible says time is short, so I’ve sort of decided to go with the Bible on the matter…

I feel called to be a Wonder Woman for the Lord, and evidently so do you because you are taking time to read this. There are many times that people say, “HOW DO YOU DO ALL THAT YOU DO?” If I were given a dime for every time that was said to me, I could retire a rich woman right now.

Many times I hear people say:
“I wish I could do that like you do, but I just don’t have time.”

Today, I’m going to help you to see how you can accomplish a lot more than you think you can, for the glory of God! People often ask me, “how do you do it all?” and quite honestly I usually say something like, “I don’t get a lot of sleep” or “some days I don’t get it all done” or “I try to be organized” or "only by the grace of God..." But the truth is, I do get a lot done somehow, and when Erika called me from the District Office and asked me to teach this it forced me to not just give the clichés that I normally give, but to sit down and really think about it.

When someone experiences great growth in their church, we often ask them how it happened. Some people say, "I don't know...we just prayed..." While I do believe they prayed, I also believe their prayers were active prayers and they were accompanying them with something else. Perhaps they didn't realize they did, but they did. I realize it's the same with those who are good at multi-tasking. We may just say, "it's the grace of God" or "only through prayer" and those things are true however I am convinced there is an additional dynamic behind it. Some things you may think are basic, but for the sake of those who really want to know, I’m going to break it down.

We are going to look at:

Ten principles to becoming a Wonder Woman for God:

Fact is, we all have the same amount of time. God has been completely fair on this matter.

Each of us gets 24 hours a day. Each hour is divided into 60 minutes which is 3,600 seconds.

The difference is not in how much time each of us is given but in what we choose to do with that time.

There was only once that God stopped the clock for a person and that was Hezekiah. Many times I have prayed for a Hezekiah anointing. It has never come. The fact is, I must take charge of my time…and tell it where to go.

John Mason once said, "Don't ask time where it's gone. Tell it where to go."

Here’s what God’s Word says:

Ephesians 5:15-17 “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.”

I want to ask you - what is your life really about? Some women are convinced their life consists of surviving...paying the bills from week to week...keeping the clothes clean...keeping their house running. I submit to you that this life is not all about whether or not we keep menial chores done. Jesus talked more about the Kingdom of God than ANYTHING. Life is not about menial chores that we must get done, but it's about CHANGING LIVES. Don't mistake, I am not saying if you are "home" that this is a bad thing or not what your life is about. What I am saying is, that doing clothes or getting chores done is not the purpose of your life. The purpose of your life is to IMPACT lives for eternity, starting in your home and emanating from it.

If order to successfully do that, however, we have to have a plan for getting the menial done and out of the way so we can focus more on the eternal...on the Kingdom of God.

God can help us to maximize our time. As we prioritize and utilize our time properly, He will bless it.

I realized years ago as I observed people that most live life aimlessly, just sort of figuring out from day to day what they were going to do, with no real agenda in mind. I know plenty of people who wake up everyday and decide after that what they are going to do. Prior to opening their eyes in the morning, they have no clue where the day is headed. Then they wonder why their lives are a mess.

My husband always says, “if you aim at nothing, that’s exactly what you’ll hit!”

So with that said, we know we need to have goals, but what things are important in establishing those goals?

That's what we're going to talk about tomorrow...in part II of "God's Wonder Woman."

Mentoring Part II

Today I did my two workshops at the Pen-Florida All Church Ministries Conference. They went really well! I'll be doing them both again tomorrow. First I did the mentoring one. I was amazed at how many people were at the classes -- the rooms were packed and I used as many handouts in one day as I thought would be used for two days. So I had to call back home to Tampa and say, "Make a whole other round of handouts for tomorrow's meetings!" We also almost ran totally out of Unstoppable cards. We made a lot of connections for that. Some of my friends, Jenn Lee in particular, were really helping to promote it. Wayne even promoted it in his classes! By the way, I went to lunch with Pastors Wayne & Jenn to "Harry's" a place that was just awesome (they know all the great food spots!) Had some wonderful crab cakes and even better conversation.

Yesterday in my blog, I detailed some of what I was going to speak on in the mentoring class. I know I said I'd blog about the Wonder Woman class today, and I will do that tomorrow or next day on the blog, but I still had some things I thought I'd add here about the mentoring class. At least one blog reader seemed to really enjoy it so I thought, 'okay, let me share more of that...' So here we go.

I am just going to paraphrase some of my thoughts here that I shared...particularly on qualifying for mentorship.

I truly believe mentorship for women is not preparing one for a "role" such as what they will do at various seasons of their life, but rather giving them intense discipleship - and spiritual formation. I have personally experienced some women, for instance, who are good mothers, or who do well in their career, but they are immature Christians. Have you ever been shocked as to how some women who have been in the church for many years still have the same exact problems 5 or 10 years later? They may be successful in some areas of their lives, but the deep spiritual maturity is just not there.

Too often we have prepared people for a role rather than a relationship - an intimate one with Christ. The truth is, a woman will never be the daughter, friend, wife, mother or worker she is destined to be without proper spiritual formation. Sometimes people think if you just prepare women to be wives and Moms, you've done your job as a spiritual leader. Although I think being a good wife and Mom is important, I do know quite a few good wives and mothers who are really lousy Christians and have little depth to them spiritually. So spiritual formation was what I focused on today in teaching people how to develop a mentorship program for women in their church. By spiritual formation I am referring to teaching them to become rock solid in their faith (in the fundamentals of what we believe), in the fruit of the spirit, the gifts of the spirit, teaching leadership principles, and more than anything a strong life in the Word and prayer.) Right now I have groups - our young women's mentoring group (ages 18-29) and also the next level life coaching group that I teach. In both groups, I prepare a teaching, do a q & a session at our meetings. Next level life coaching also has the following requirements.

1) Attend both Sunday and Wednesday church faithfully each week.
2) Attend Sunday School (Christian Education) faithfully each week.
3) Start out by praying at least 10 minutes a day & increase as we continue to progress.
4) Journal daily at least one paragraph on a private on line journal.
5) Do one chapter in the the book and workbook – “Secrets of the Secret Place” by Bob Sorge; Once homework is completed for the week, e-mail it to all class members, for accountability.

As a side note, anyone who wants to be part of any type of mentoring in our church or small group leadership within the women's ministries goes through mentorship/life coaching. I believe this helps us stay on the same page, carrying the same vision. Knowing these women have been personally trained under my leadership makes me very comfortable in releasing them to lead others and stay true to the vision of the house.

Another very important aspsect of the mentoring group, after our debriefing from the previous month, my teaching, and the q & a, is prayer. I believe we need to teach women to pray, particularly as Pentecostals. We learn by doing, and by being in others presence who know how to pray. Believe it or not I have even had staff members/spouses in the past who did not know how to pray. It's unbelievable that we have people turning out like this in MINISTRY today but we do. Even things like this that are considered "basic" need to be taught, and by example. People also need to be taught how to flow in the gifts of the spirit. This is learned well in a small group setting - the comfort level is greater and when there is a leader/teacher who can lead the class in hands on learning about spiritual gifts, it's much better. This gives them a "safe place to operate"with a teacher who can provide spiritual discernment and guidance and lead them in walking more in the fullness of God.

During our prayer time, I lead in prayer and ask that the ladies stay engaged (no wandering off, kneeling down in the corner, etc.) stay focused as a group, and pray out loud. I lead them in praying out loud, and in their prayer language.

Also very important to me is "being there" to help and guide them as needed if they need to talk to me occasionally about various decisions and things in their lives. So, this is how the Lord has led me to lead our group. I believe God gives each leader a "key" for their group. No two churches or women's groups are alike and God has to show us the plan for our unique place in His Kingdom. Back to qualifying for mentorship...

It is said, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears." Some people are simply not ready for mentorship. In all honesty, I have had staff members or spouses in times past who might have been considered further along in the faith as far as how old they were or the number of years in the ministry, yet they did not qualify for mentorship, while I had 18 year olds in the church who did!!! It's the condition of the heart that matters. Some people are so full of themselves, there is no room for the Holy Ghost to do anything else. I can remember taking a staff member's wife aside and speaking into her life on something, only to have her look back at me and say, "...this is the way I do things..." with complete and utter disregard for what I has just said. In the same way, the same type of individuals will later accuse you of "not investing in them" or "not mentoring them" however the fact is, they have to qualify.

What qualifies you? Respect qualifies you. One time in our ministry I had a woman who came to me and said, "I want to learn from you...please help me." I said, "meet me at my office this Thursday at 11:00 am. She sauntered in at 12:30 mumbling something about running late, not getting a shower in time, blah blah blah. I let that happen one more time before I said, "if someone doesn't respect my time, they don't respect my wisdom either..." The truth of the matter is, she did not want to be mentored - she wanted a pal or someone to just encourage.

A mentor is not a friend, pal or buddy. We all could probably have no shortage of friends or buddies, but a mentor or coach is someone who helps you get to the next level. They don't tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you NEED to hear.

Just because someone is in authority over you does not mean you will be mentored by them. You must qualify for it. There are those who sit in my church every week who "attend" my church yet I am not mentoring them nor am I really pastoring them. Why? It's their choice. I may happen to be "the pastor of their church" yet I am not pastoring them. How so? Some people resist coaching, mentoring or pastoring. They attend, yet they will not receive from you because they are not pliable. Some are stiff necked, others just indifferent. At any rate, they are not open to receive. They are physically on location but mentally and emotionally checked out. As a leader and mentor, you have to move on from concerning yourself with those who choose that and concentrate on the "spiritual sponges" that God has given you. I'm convinced a big part of leadership is taking our "eagles" and soaring with them and not worrying about whoever may not be on board.

A wise mentor does not continue to invest themselves where there is no fruit. If someone is not receiving from me, to continue to pour out to them is sort of what the Bible indicates as "casting my pearls before swine." Mentorship is costly. It is valuable. We cannot treat everyone the same. With those who respect our investment into their lives, the continued investment is worth it and most mentors will continue to pour as long as the mentee will receive.

Just a word to you pastors/pastor's wives out there... I used to think that if someone was on my staff or in my church I was charged with mentoring them whether they responded or not. I know some pastors or pastor's wives that feel even if it's not received, you just gently keep trying. Well, that caused me a considerable amount of grief for I invested even when there was no return and in some cases worse than no return. Finally my mentor told me, "STOP DOING THAT! Just because they are your staff or members does not mean you must do that. Don't invest in people who show by their actions that they don't value your investment. And do not treat everyone the same. Reward and honor those who show respect for your investment and don't be afraid to stand up for the fact that you're doing that."

I began to take that advice and started investing in those who were good soil. And therefore, found joy in mentoring again. Honestly there are those in the church or on the staff over the years that I will do much more for because I know how much they appreciate and value my investment into their lives and take heed to what I say and give it respect. Jesus didn't treat everyone the same and neither should we.

One thing we must realize is that the person being mentored has more effect on how much is received than the mentor.

In the parable of the sower, the same sower sowed the same seed on the four different types of ground. In other words, the same teacher, or preacher, with the same techniques, presented the same message. The condition of the ground made the difference in the results.

I have heard people praise their pastor and say,“I have grown so much through their ministry…they have helped me so much. I’m a changed person. Everything I learned, I know from them.” And then you’ll hear another church member talk about the very same pastor and make them out to be a demon! You wonder, how can a pastor be considered a demon and an angel all in the same day by members sitting in the same church? The answer is that the pastor has not changed in his/her approach to the way they bring the word, teaching or instruction -- but the person on the receiving end is different. Some will receive, some will not. It all depends on what kind of soil we are dealing with. We must sow into fertile soil!

A person who comes with an attitude that they already know as much as the mentor cannot be taught. Proverbs 27:7 "He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet." The hungry soul is the one who will be filled.

Everybody will see this truth, but the question is, how soon? Proverbs 12:1 “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (I told my class today, "those are the Bible's words, not mine. Don't be mad at me for calling somebody stupid!! ha ha!)

In summary of today's teaching, I suggest whatever plan God gives you to implement in your ministry concerning mentoring whether personal one on one mentoring or through a church ministry/program that you start that the first thing you share with those you are going to mentor is the concept of QUALIFYING for mentorship. Because until they qualify, whatever “plan” you have – even a God given plan – will not work if their hearts are not in the right place.

The women at the conference today seemed to eat this up like candy...hope you did too! Pray for me, I'll teach two more classes like this tomorrow and I'm believing the teaching will fall on fertile soil, for His glory.

Don't waste your breath

Proverbs 23:9 says, "Don't waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice."

Just winding things up for the night, getting ready to go to sleep, get up early in the morning and head to the All Church Ministries Conference to give two workshops tomorrow, and then again on Saturday. One of them is on mentoring. I am going to speak about how to mentor but I am also going to caution those who are mentors that they must be careful not to invest poorly. I believe strongly that people need to qualify for mentorship. What I mean by this is that one is not automatically mentored - they must qualify by the condition of their heart, their commitment, their actions. Here are some of my main points I'm going to give tomorrow about making sure one qualifies for mentorship:

1) Pray - ask God to prepare your heart to receive from them.

2) Develop a teachable spirit. Why would God give you a mentor if you are not really eager to learn?

3) Develop a habit of learning from every conversation.

4) Realize, how much you learn depends far more on you than your mentor. (It depends on how receptive you are to their instruction. You can lead a horse to water...you can't make them drink.)

5) If you are too full of yourself, there is no room for you to learn anything else. A person such as this simply can't be helped by mentorship.

6) We see from others who were teachable or lacked a teachable spirit just how our course is determined. There are no shortage of examples in the Bible, and all around us.

7) Everyone will see this truth at some point - the question is - HOW QUICKLY will they see it?

8) You must qualify for mentorship or you will not be able to keep a mentor. A wise mentor does not keep investing in those who do not respect their wisdom.

And that, my friends, are just a few points that I'm bringing tomorrow. I'm also doing a teaching called, "God's Wonder Woman." I was asked to share on that topic. Can you guess what it's about? Well, let me give you a description of the workshop as they have written it in the conference book:

Do you sometimes look at various people and wonder, "how do they do it all?" Some people seem to have their hand in every endeavor imaginable and they make it look effortless. Behind the scenes there are some key factors as to how such people manage to balance it all. Come to this workshop and learn principles to maximize your time.

Um, do any of you have any suggestions on what I should say about this? I'm sitting here with a blank paper...

Just kidding! All my mega notes are tucked away and I'm ready to share. I will bring some of it to you, my blog readers, when I get back and have time to blog. Enjoy your Friday! It will be "fun" for me, but I'll be away from home this week, not having my usual "fun Friday" with Larry.

Only 3 more days...

until Pastor Tara and I unveil our new project for the world to experience!

Thursday's Meme

Brain is turning to mush again!!! I just finished some writing projects. Help me! I need something non-sensical that doesn't require too much thought!!!

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Co-pastoring a church, nursing a newborn, directing choir, leading worship, working way too many hours a week and pinching every penny.

What were you going one year ago?

One year ago was one of the absolute greatest times of my life. Last year was amazing. I look back on 2006 and can't do anything but smile! We had the best year in the church in 2006 and in our lives personally. So many good things, I can't even chronicle them all. We experienced some changes that were God-sent that made all things possible. One of the greatest things was the incredible sudden boom of our youth group - God did so many awesome things beginning in January of 2006, and it just kept right on going throughout the entire year. Last August/September things were just absolutely busting. Great memories, nothing but great memories! I think I floated on a cloud through 2006 and everybody in church life co-hort was probably getting tired of me saying, "finally everybody, finally! It's happening!" I guess it's good to be a broken record though when you are talking about the goodness of God.

Five snacks you enjoy:

When I'm being "good"? Or... oh, forget it, I'll just answer what my ultimate favorites are.

1) Potato chips

2) Chocolate

3) Ice cream (chocolate or cake batter)

4) Cheese and crackers

5) Chips and salsa

What are five songs you know all the lyrics to?

This would be endless since I'm a singer/musician/worshipper who has been ministering publicly in song since the age of 4 -- but, off the top of my head...I'll do hymns because they are easy... Amazing Grace, Victory in Jesus, Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus, When We All Get to Heaven, Nothing But the Blood of Jesus.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire

1) Stop cleaning my house and pay someone else to do it.

2) Pay someone to do the weeds in my yard (you can't even imagine how big a job this is...)

3) Buy something special for those closest to me that I know they would not be able to have any other way unless someone blessed them.

4) Pay off my mortgage

5) Go on a vacation and get a massage everyday while there.

Tithing and giving generous offerings should absolutely go without saying, so I didn't even list it as one of the five. That's a given.

Five bad habits you have:

1) Stress/emotional eating.

2) Getting angry very quickly. Usually when I do I scream, "SHONDI!!!" (my family doesn't even bat an eye at this anymore. They are used to it.) Remember Pastor Tara, when you wanted to get me a shirt that says, "It's a Shondi day?" or something like that? I seem to recall it a few years ago. Strangely enough when something really great happens I yell Shondi, but when it's terrible I do the same. I don't mean it sacreligiously, really, it's just a habit. What can I say I believe in speaking in tongues when happy or sad. I say, "Shondi" in a joking way however seriously when I'm upset or angry I start praying in the spirit and the kids go, "Mom's speaking in tongues...get out of the way!!!"

3) Putting off the weeds for one more day because I'm tired.

4) Saying things when I get very angry without thinking through it first and calculating my words carefully.

5) Forgetting to send birthday cards.

Five things you like doing

1) Writing

2) Going on a date with my husband.

3) Meeting a friend for lunch or coffee.

4) Going to the beach

5) Sleeping

Five things you would never wear again

1) Big glasses

2) Tight pants

3) Pantyhose

4) Hair bows

5) a choker - yeeeech!

Five favorite toys...

1) My computer

2) Mp3

3) Coffee grinder (I do prefer to grind the beans right before I make it...it is better.)

4) Food processor (make a lot of my signature dishes with this...such as my chicken salad...)

5) TIVO (I only watch things I tape.)

TAG, you're it!

Favor, Favor, Favor

I'm realizing, there are three things that are absolutely key to rising above and achieving one's destiny and they are - favor, favor, and favor.

I've heard it said, "one day of favor is worth a thousand days of labor." I am finding that to be SO true.

Today we had our meeting with our sales rep at the Hilton. She's working with us on our Unstoppable Conference. There are so many things I needed to make this work. Things so beyond my abilities, out of our contract, things most people would be told to go jump in a lake about. Well, I've been praying for months and several other people have too, Pastor Tara Sloan for one. Thank you, PT for standing with me in prayer even today while in the meeting.

What happened? Basically favor was thrown at us right and left. There are so many things that just magically (Holy Spirit magically) worked out, and were immediately granted to us - things we DESPERATELY needed to make this conference work. Well, not only work, but be great. And we got every one of them, AND MORE. I was so excited when we walked out of there I could hardly stand it. I have been in constant prayer about this. Were I not in an intimate relationship with God it would have robbed all my sleep and caused me to bite my acrylic nails off. I did lay awake at night for hours over this, but not in vain or for nothing. Each time I was awake, concerned - I simply turned it to prayer. I prayed, and prayed and then prayed some more. And, it worked.

So, my greatest concerns have been lifted off of my shoulders for this, although we do need about 10-15 more registrants to meet our budget. We'll do it in the next three weeks, I have no doubt. So far we have also been able to give 8 women pastors/pastor's wives in need a scholarship to attend. Most are home missions pastors/wives whose churches are not financially well enough right now to support them , and they are also not making enough money personally to pay for this conference right now. I'm so excited to be awarding these scholarships and I can almost guarantee more will come in before the day of the opening of the event. (September 13)

We are sooooooo set for a blockbuster event. If people only knew the caliber of the worship leaders, the speakers, the elegant setting this retreat will be in...all just AMAZING.

God also gave me my message for the Friday night General Session last week and I am finishing it up through prayer and meditating upon the Word, right now at this time. My message is, "Why Women Stop."

I was so happy today after the meeting at the Hilton, and so relieved...I just wanted to put on my bathing suit and go run on Clearwater Beach and then float on my pink noodle for 3 hours! (But alas, I could not...it was time to get ready for Wednesday night church!)

Have a zillion things to do tomrorow to get ready for speaking at the All Church Ministries Conference (both my teachings are all done, however I'm talking about other stuff I have to do - church stuff, home stuff, etc.). Then I must wash clothes and pack for church life co-hort in Lauderdale. At least there is no speaking involved in that, however Larry and I are getting another new pastor-couple to start coaching this next time. I'm looking forward to this new year in CLR. I am always stressed to pack and get there, but once I do, I love it!!! My brain gets so full...I am so energized and enjoy the teaching and the discussion. I think over the past few years it's kept me sane sometimes! (Just to be in a room of pastors who understand and can help one another hash out issues we are dealing with in the church.)

It's time to finish up work for the night and hit the hay. Tomorrow's another day but I AM THANKING GOD FOR HIS INCREDIBLE FAVOR! The truth is...a person can't work hard enough to get what they need to reach their destiny without some FAVOR ENCOUNTERS. If you worked all your life, you'd still never work hard enough to reach your ultimate potential without FAVOR in there somewhere.

Two by Two

Taking this idea off of Pastor Lisa's blog...

1) Two names you go by

Deanna, Momma

2) Two things you're wearing right now

Blue tie dyed t-shirt and black sweats

3) Two things you want in a relationship

loyalty and ...mmmm... loyalty

4) Two of your favorite things to do

read and write

5) Two things you want very badly at the moment

a day off and something chocolate.

6) Two pets you have had or have now

When I was growing up my dog was Kelly. Our dog now is Geena.

7) Two people who will fill this out first:

would have been Pastor Lisa, but I got this off her blog, so...it will be Pastor Leanne if she's back from camp already, and Pastor Tara if she's got time amidst working on our new project. :-)

8) Two things you did last night

Took a long bubble bath and totally enjoyed the fact that school is back in session and the kids were asleep early. :-)

9) Two people that live in your house

My Superman - Larry and my Superson - Jordan

10) Two people you talked to last

Pastor Jennifer Lee and Pastor Eddie Rivero

11) Two things you're doing tomorrow

Going to work at the church office and Wednesday night service

12) Two longest car rides

Through the Mojave desert with no food or water. And, the drive from Florida to Maryland with our car having problems one time.

12) Two of your favorite holidays

Thanksgiving and Christmas

13) Two favorite beverages:

tea and coffee

Happy Wednesday, everybody! (((Hugs)))

Tuesday Meme

Ten Things You Don't Like About Your Job

Okay, I've been working non stop all day (lots of writing - didn't even stop for lunch) and the brain is starting to get fried. Time to take a short break and write something just for fun. Went to a Meme website, Ten on Tuesday, and this is the question for the day. I thought, "uuuughhh" THIS is the question? Oh well, I'm gonna do it. Here goes...

1) Watching people making decisions that sometimes ruin their lives and there is nothing you can do about it but pray and still sometimes see them go off the cliff you warned them was there. My husband just dealt with a situation like that today. Very painful for a spiritual mother and father to go through, because we love our people so much.

2) Having a zillion God-dreams but not always the immediate resources to fulfill them.

3) The politics that sometimes come with it. (Though I've sworn not to engage in it, sometimes - unavoidable.)

4) The fact that it has the potential to affect my kids in a negative way. (though I try my best to protect them.)

5) Confrontation - sometimes it's just necessary but I never enjoy it.

6) The fact that many people don't treat church with equal or more importance than a business. If the business world expects excellent work, how much more should the church? Sometimes people think we should excuse a lot more from our employees or volunteers because we are a church (and I hate that attitude). I think more should be expected, not less, out of Christ-followers.

7) The fact that sometimes the people you do the most for, appreciate it the least or hurt you the most, and the people you do the least for look at you like you are God incarnate. What's that about?

8) The fact that we almost exclusively work with a volunteer work force. How many corporations could ever succeed with that? None. Which is one thing that makes the church of Jesus Christ an absolutely amazing thing. And for pastors who lead successfully -- a leader unequaled in the business world, IMHO. Tell a CEO he has to work with "volunteers". He'd resign after about 2 days of it. But pastors all over the world keep doing it, putting their hand to the plow, and moving forward. Amazing! I salute my collegues all over the world! You are AMAZING. Simply amazing.

10) That you "take your kids to work with you" each week. What other professionals have their entire family show up, on display - to be critiqued week after week? None. Even politicians only have the occasional public appearance with their kids. People complain about pastor's kids and how they act sometimes, but you can't imagine what is expected of these kids. It's amazing that many PK's stay sane or saved with the expecations that are on them and the lifestyle that many have to live. Can you imagine your surgeon doing an operation on you with their two kids standing right there? How about your lawyer defending a court case with their three kids sitting there beside them at the witness table? How about your banker, trying to explain your investment portfolio to you with their two year old and six year old in their office? No, it would never happen. Yet pastors lead worship, teach, preach, and shake hands at the door every single week with their kids there, on display before the entire church. No one would think it odd if the banker's kids couldn't sit still in the room, or the doctor's kids said, "I'm hungry Dad. I don't want to stand here while you do this open heart surgery." But if the pastor's kid does the same, it's viewed differently. Probably the hardest thing for me in pastoring the first decade was the fact that people had no idea, I was doing so...taking my entire family to work. I don't think if the shoe were on the other foot most of them could ever do it. Some say, "well, I bring MY whole family to church each week. What's the difference?" First, you are not leading, necessarily. Second, you can leave when you need to. If your kids are tired, you just go. And you don't have to greet anybody on your way out. You just grab the kids and head out with not a care in the world. Third, you don't have several hundred eyes on you watching every move you make. But then again, unless you are one who actually has been through this as a minister, you are shaking your head right now going, "huh? going to WORK? What's she talking about?"

Most people don't even realize that Sunday is a work day for us. Not our only one by far, but one of them. Sunday is NOT our Sabbath and it is not restful by any means. Services are "work time" for us not just a celebration or a time to be refreshed by God. Some Moms never make it through "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" without going, "Geez, if I had to do this everyday, I'd never get anything done..." Next time, just remember your minister. They do that EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY AND WEDNESDAY.

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school for the kids. I'm so glad to be back to routine. Did I mention, sooooooooooo glad? I am a creature of routine and summers get me totally off kilter. Not to mention, this means Larry and I are back to fun Friday. :-)

Dustin had his first follow up appt. today after his hospital release. He has another follow up with the surgeon tomorrow. Over the coming weeks he'll have all kinds of follow ups to get checked and re-checked several times to make sure no trace of MRSA is left. He'll have follow ups on his blood work, and more. Today Dr. Watson gave him the go ahead to go back to normal diet. He wants pizza tomorrow. (I had already made pot roast today for dinner because it was the first day of school and I know it's everybody's favorite.) I guess tomorrow night, it's Amici's take out for dinner!

Savanna and Jordan had a good day at school. They like their teachers a lot. We've completed the first day mounds of paper work that have to be returned to the school. We're all set for a great year.

Dustin is going to be starting in January. Right now he's just working, what will be 30 hours a week. He has gone and met with the school and all that however, he had to take a placement test and being that he is on such heavy medications (he's still on them) and not really in his right frame of mind (to say the least) he can't really take them. This illness really set him back a little bit, but we're not worried, not upset. This is not tragic. It will give him a little bit of breathing space, then he will get off of his medications soon, go take the test, and begin. Quite truthfully, he was completely burned out at the end of the school year and I was worried about him. It probably led to being run down and sick. He is the type of kid who gets very stressed out with school. I think this actually might be the best thing that could have happened (a short break) in the long run. Right now we are still concentrating on getting him 100% well. And I'll be glad to have him off the meds. He really says some funny, yet inappropriate things. And is just not "himself."

I can't reiterate enough how glad we are that he is okay...that he is on the mend. All kids have not been so blessed. Lisa Currie sent me an article from Bay News 9 this week that details how MRSA is affecting people in the Bay area, even kids who have died. This is a really serious tihng and to know that he has made it though and is on the mend...we are just so grateful to God. Thank you, God, for your hand upon his life.

For those who are A/G

Be sure to read your September 16 Pentecostal Evangel.

You'll find me there. :-)

Foolish disagreements? An inside look

Larry just got the word - he will not be going on the reality show - he doesn't qualify for it...he doesn't weigh enough. (And as you might have guessed...the show was..."The Biggest Loser.") Pastor T greatly overestimated how much Larry weighed, and Larry didn't want to waste the trip tomorrow to Ft. Lauderdale since it's 8 hours round trip, so he had him call the producer with his exact current weight and sure enough, he doesn't qualify.

Larry can stand to lose a few pounds like most people, but he is really not that overweight, nor at the level of any of the previous winners of the competition in how much he would need to lose. The show would have required Larry to lose 70 pounds -- at least, to win, and in reality he can only healthily lose about 30-35 pounds, max. So, Pastor T is still going to the casting call and is going to probably take someone else with him who weighs a lot more and will hopefully qualify. I'm glad for him - I know he really wants to do it and Misty's grandma will come help her. So pray that if it be God's will that he make it on the show.

Larry is fine with not being on the show. He was fine with being on it too, but he seems to not really be emotional over it either way. Then again, when is he really emotional over anything? I'm the emotional one in the fam. Not usually crying but often laughing, jumping up and down, getting all excited or passionate over something. Usually when people want to know how Larry feels they ask me how he feels because from the outward they would never know. He could have a career in poker if he wanted to.

This morning as I was washing dishes before work, I could hear my grandmother's words ringing in my ears, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched." Good advice. I should have remembered that two days ago, but it's never easy. You know me, aside from chickens, I'm always "getting my ducks in a row," organized woman that I am. I have to be organized, otherwise I'd never be able to keep up in this life.


Concerned about nothing? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Yesterday, in the Sunday morning service Larry gave an illustration in his message about a couple who fought over what was supposedly "nothing." They had one huge blow out fight in their marriage and it was about winning the lottery and what they would do with the money if they won. The interesting thing was, they never won the lottery...they never even played it! So, some would say, "foolish argument." Well, I agree, and yet I disagree.


Sometimes hurt feelings come about the "principle of the thing" not just the actual thing that happens or doesn't happen. For instance, let's say that it was Larry and I in the argument over the lottery. (It wasn't.) Let's say Larry said, "we're going to spend the whole amount on a Lambourghini (his dream car) and a golf course." Obviously that would all be for him, without any consideration of me. If he didn't even ask me what I wanted to do, seriously discuss the options with me, or even consider sharing it or doing something for the whole family, I would be very hurt. I think most wives would be. The issue would have been the condition of the heart, and selfishness. Just knowing his FEELINGS and his plan of what he would do "if" -- his lack of consideration would be the hurtful thing...not the actual money. Know what I mean? It really has little to do with a lottery or the reality of it, but the condition of the heart, and a willingness to share.

I wasn't a bit upset that Larry might go on The Biggest Loser show. I think it would have been kind of funny actually and even if he didn't win, a great experience! However, in doing so I think he should have immediately (before even agreeing to be on there or trying out) been in agreement that had he gotten picked for the show, it would be alright for me to take steps to ensure that things would run smoothly here without me having a physical or mental breakdown in keeping things going. (My plan "if" was to hire somebody to clean the house once a week, someone to do the weeds at least once a month for those 3 months, and also have someone available for child care for Savanna occasionally.) After all, not only would I be keeping up with the merry go round life that I'm now on, but I would throw his job on top of it and do it singlehandely for 3 months. I really think that's worth hiring somebody to help me clean and weed and watch Savanna occasionally. Being the very fiscally conservative person he is, he thought that was unnecessary.


Since Larry truly does think I'm "Wonder Woman" he doesn't always understand my need for help. He thinks, "what's one more thing? It can't be that hard." He always talks about how strong I am. Everyone says I make what I do look easy. I really must make it look easy, because I have even my own husband fooled! But believe me, keeping it all going isn't easy at all. I may be strong but I have to work at it constantly. And I realize now I am totally at my limit as it is. If everyone only knew what I have to do to keep things spinning sometimes...

The other thing is... when I spoke in my previous blog about things getting easier in getting his agreement in fulfilling some of my dreams, should he go on the show... (just between us friends...shhhhhh...) we've been through some real hashing out in the past over how much I'll be gone on speaking engagements over a Sunday. He doesn't mind Fridays and Saturdays but he has a real issue with Sundays. It doesn't happen real often, but it happens. Sometimes, it's a simple matter of not being able to catch a plane back in time. Note that I really don't want to be away from him or my family longer than a day or two. I'm a homebody at heart really, but I do love to preach which is the only thing that can ever entice me away. Truthfully, just the issue of sleeping alone for more than 2 nights is enough to not make me want to go away. But I enjoy bringing God's Word so I am willing to do it. The truth of the matter is, as much as I enjoy preaching, the whole time I'm gone I call home a zillion times to see exactly what's going on. I miss home so much. "Well, if you miss it, don't go..." you might say. All I have to say to that is, until you have experienced the call of God on your life to preach the gospel, you don't 'get it.' Paul said, "woe to me if I do not preach the gospel..." Turning down ministering the gospel is harder to me than turning down triple chocolate cake. And it doesn't matter if it's 10 people or 3,000...it's just a matter of bringing the Word.

As our ministry has grown and I don't have to lead worship, and there are others to cover things, and I may only take the offering or lead in prayer, the fact that he doesn't want me away has not changed. I realize were it not for ministering the gospel somewhere else, I shoudn't be away. I don't believe any pastor or pastor's spouse should be away from their spouse or the congregation in which they serve unless they are temporarily and occasionally ministering the gospel somewhere else, almost being "sent forth" as a gift on loan from the church, for that day.

But, it's like this...Larry just doesn't like me to be away from him and the church, period. It wouldn't matter to him if I didn't have any real "responsibilities" in a service. (And it's not about the kids - he's fine with them on his own. He's a totally equal parent.) It's a thing of not wanting his "partner" gone. It's like the other half of his brain is gone when I am, and truly I understand that. But as the years have gone on and I don't have to lead worship anymore and many other people are in place to cover things, I was really hoping that he would feel better about me taking a few more opportunities.

I know I'm blessed. My husband loves me. He doesn't like to be without me. He tells me every day, "I love you," and "you're beautiful." He respects my mind, and my giftings. He values my input into anything ministry related and he believes my daily and weekly input is absolutely essential to the health of the church. He looks to me to assist him in all things leadership. He thinks I'm the best cook in the world. (I think his Mom and I are equal on that, by the way. She's great.) He thinks I'm the most amazing sex partner on the planet. (I'm his only sex partner, but he still thinks there's no one greater - and tells me so, often! (Oops, did I just lose another few readers? Just in case you didn't notice this is lifetime INTIMATE portrait...!) He tells some of his friends, they missed out by not marrying a girl like me. But sometimes having a good marriage can come back to bite you in the butt. (ugh! Did I just lose a few more readers?! Would you believe somebody wrote to me one time and said "don't put the word butt in your writings. It isn't becoming of a minister..." Well, the truth is, ministers DO have butts. We are human. Sorry to shatter your preconceived notions there...) Anyway, how exactly is there a downside when you have a strong partnership? Well, when you've cultivated it, it can result in the fact that your spouse just doesn't ever want to be without you. And if they're a pastor, especially not on a Sunday.

To get him to come into agreement with me to take the Africa speaking engagement (by myself) was HUGE. I cried so many tears over that one, I could have filled a pool. I got through that, only with a Word from God. (Sometimes a Word from God is all you need, and...all you have.) Sometimes only something like that gets you through an impasse... and finally we got through ours and Larry gave me His blessing to go.

So... We finally came to an agreement regarding Sundays a while back and our agreement is 6 Sundays a year. We agreed to that, signed the contract in blood (no just kidding) and set the matter to rest. To get to that point, we almost had to hire a mediator. Actually our mediator became Jesus in the matter, and we came to a decision on it together, which is the way God meant it to be. I'm just being flat out honest here. I don't have a perfect marriage by far, and I think everybody knows that who has known me longer than about 5 minutes. I love my husband, deeply. He's my best friend. But like all best friends and partners, we sometimes have our disagreements and our hurts, and our "stuff" to work through. So this is an "inside look" at one of ours and how we worked through it. Many people say, "what are the realities of working out a true partnership in ministry?" Well, these are some of them that I'm sharing right now.

One difficult "pang" I felt immediately when he mentioned that he might go on the reality show is..."okay, he might be away for three months (at least 12 Sundays, maybe more) without even so much as a conversation about it, but I had to almost hire a defense attorney to get six Sundays off to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ?" Just being honest, I was hoping in one way that Larry WOULD go on The Biggest Loser because then I'd probably more easily have his agreement on more things for myself. I thought, "what a snap! This is probably worth at least eight Sundays off to preach, and maybe even a bunch of shopping trips to Bealls thrown in!!!" (okay, just kidding about Bealls, but not the Sundays.) Anything I've ever asked for would absolutely pale in comparison to being away for 3 months. But alas...he is not going on the show. So, I'm back to my six Sundays now. That's alright. Six of one, half a dozen the other. (no pun intended!) What I mean by that is...I'm back to my six Sundays, however I'm also not lobbying him to spend the money on a housecleaning once a week, weed removal and child care a few days a week for him to be gone on a Reality Show. So, we're back to normal now. The conversation is over.


But foolish disagreements? I'm not so sure. Sometimes what you disagree about doesn't come to pass, however it's the "heart of the matter"... the "principle of the thing"...the "if this happened, you might not consider how it affects me" that is the difficult thing to deal with.

So for the lady who got her feelings hurt that her husband WOULD HAVE spent all the money on the lottery his way...I understand.

Sometimes it's not what has happened that we're hurt about, but finding out how someone believes, or how they feel, or what they would do "if"... and coming terms with it.

I think if Larry would have made it on to The Biggest Loser when it came time to go he might have really had some second thoughts, although he might not readily admit it. I mean, really...can you imagine how life would have been for him to go three months without his "amazing sex partner"? Quite honestly, I wouldn't want to go without him either. I love him with all my heart...it just takes us some time and negotiating when we come to certain issues, but we always do, foolish disagreement or not.

15 fabulous things about being in my forties

1) I care a lot less about what people think and more about what God thinks, and also being true to my own values.

2) I've become more courageous.

3) I am more focused than ever on making a difference.

4) My goals have become even more defined and streamlined.

5) I appreciate everything a lot more.

6) I savor things more than I used to...even the smallest things like sitting on the beach in the sand, or riding my bike at sunset.

7) Great sex.

8) My kids are getting older and this gives me more freedom than I used to have, the best thing being spontaneous dates and not having to line up a sitter each and every time.

9) I really have some of the most wonderfully supportive women friends a person could ask for. Somehow I have been able to cultivate this, even with being in ministry which many ministers or spouses never accomplish with the fishbowl existence.

10) When I'm criticized I care a lot less about defending myself now and instead just concentrate on doing a great job and allow my success to speak for itself and defend me.

11) The more I live, the more I realize the volume of things I don't know. My thirst for learning is greater than ever. I must learn something new every day. It's a craving I enjoy having fulfilled each day.

12) Even after all this time, I realize I've only scratched the surface when it comes to knowing God. There's so much there - and I can't wait to experience it.

13) Self consciousness is so much less of an issue in my 40's, than earlier decades. I really am comfortable "in my own skin" (probably too much so sometimes...) Larry always panics because I prefer not to get dressed at home unless I have to...especially on our day off when it's just the two of us, which most husbands would probably say "PRAISE THE LORD" to if their wives were that way. But, Larry being the more conservative person of the two of us is always like, "DEANNA! SOMEBODY'S IN THE DRIVEWAY!!! THEY'RE COMING UP THE WALKWAY!!! STOP RE-FILLING YOUR COFFEE IN THE NUDE, AND GO GET DRESSED!" To which I don't panic (the blinds are shut, so what's the big deal?) but slowly turn as the doorbell rings and say to Larry, "Whaaaat? Lar, it's no big deal. Chillax. [Got that from my kids!] Just tell them to wait a minute til' I'm done...geez...quit rushing me." I slowly shuffle back to our room. Larry shakes head at this point and walks away to answer the door...

14) I find joy in such a broader range of things including solitude.

15) The value of prayer - through years of experience and the level I'm at in my walk right now - is so much greater in my life. I can hardly wait to see what God will do next as I seek Him.

Good day in the house

Today was a historic day at Northside. It was the first day of our services being interpreted in Spanish! It went excellent. We use headsets for anyone who needs interpretation and they pick them up in the info center. Candy Rivera did the interpreting today. With how loud Larry preaches, she was in sanctuary A room and we (the english speaking people without the headphones) couldn't even hear her as she interpreted! Perfect!!! I believe we could really feel the presence of God today as well...just good service all around...I'm looking forward to getting all the "stats" on it as far as numbers, but the most important stuff, I already know!

We had lunch with the Riveras, Garlands, and Coopers. Delightful families. Yummy spanish food at Pipo's. We had Back to School Bash tonight. Larry and Savanna and Jordan went but I stayed back with Dustin. He's still not at 100% but he's doing good. When I came home from lunch I crashed on the bed for several HOURS. I was so tired. Since I know I'm not getting any time off this week, I'm just looking at my sleep as what I must savor...every little bit of it that I might get extra such as today's nap. It was...simply wonderful.

We still hadn't gotten Savanna and Jordan's school shoes. Larry took them after the bash to get them. Back packs are officially packed. Lunches are made. Clothes are lined up. School starts tomorrow.

I'm glad to get back to routine.

It's a crazy busy time these next eight days with All Church Ministries Conference, Church Life Co-horts, and then getting home the next day and Randy & Dawn coming. If I can just make it to labor day weekend when I can get some time off to breathe...

The name of the Lord, is a strong tower...

The schedule went as detailed yesterday in my blog and then after all that, I came home, crashed for about 30 minutes, got back up and we went out with Pastor T & Misty and the Garlands for Pastor T's birthday. We went to Kobe...and it was good...always good food there but better company. It's the company of a few that I enjoy the most. Many people would never realize, I really don't enjoy crowds. I "do them" because it's necessary. Anybody who is successful in ministry is going to learn how to work the crowd, but it's in the presence of just a few people that I enjoy most. I was really tired after a long day but when the company is good and the conversation enjoyable it is actually a refreshing time that does not make one more tired. After Kobe, we went over and hit Cold Stone Creamery. Can't remember who asked, "do you guys want to stop for ice cream?" and I retorted, "Um, did Trask resign?" (We're A/G, so I didn't want to say, "Is the Pope Catholic?") So just as quick as I said, "Did Trask resign?" Pastor T retorts with, "And did Lindell NOT get it?" We high fived and headed over to Cold Stone. Just another reason I like working with Pastor T. :-)

Coming home tonight...cleaned up the messy kitchen, ironed the clothes for tomorrow...and am winding down reading the Word and the Secrets of the Secret Place. Interesting that this chapter is on enduring. It says, "no matter how tough the slogging gets, we must never give up on our pursuit of God." So far as I begin to read the chapter I'm struck by the fact that it's headed in the direction of not giving up on our relationship with God. It's funny but in my life, my temptation has never really been to give up on my relationship with God but on everything and everyone else. There are many times I'd like to just run away to Boone, NC (I keep threatening to do that in my blogs, you know...) and just spend my days with my lap top writing in solitude. When stuff happens, it takes endurance for me to keep doing everything else but I really don't have an urge to quit on the Lord.

Everyone is different in their hot buttons, their temptations, their struggles. One thing that drives me crazy about some books or seminars (especially self help and along the lines of wives, mothers, women, etc.) is that they stereotype what our struggles are and what we think and what we feel and so often, it isn't the case for everybody. (I know I'm not alone in thinking this - several of my friends feel the same way.) Whereas for instance, they might want their husband to do certain things for them, I do not, or vice versa. We do not all have the same likes or dislikes or ways of doing things. And our struggles are no different. I usually run to God, not away from Him. My struggle is in everything else - enduring what I know He has called me to, even when it is not easy.

So here I sit.

I need a divine appointment.

Bad.

When I begin to feel some of the things I am feeling right now, what it takes for me to get my eyes off of it is to have something grand...an encounter of leading someone across the line of faith, a miracle healing, being able to give something significant to someone that wouldn't otherwise have whatever I just gave them, etc. So this is my goal this week. I'll be looking for it around every corner. :-)

I have journeyed long enough to realize that in anyone's stresses of life, the only sure thing is THE solid rock. Today I'm reading Proverbs 18, in keeping with the day of the month and verse 10 says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe." Verse 16 has always also been one of my favorite verses: "A gift opens the way for the giver, and ushers him into the presence of the great." I believe so strongly in GIVING one's way in or out of a miracle, whatever the case may be. Maybe this is part of my divine appointment to come this week.

Pastor Tara tagged me...

So here I go with my answers that she asked for. To see who I've tagged, read to the end.

Accent - Mixture - Baltimore, with a little Alabama stuff throw in (Dad's influence)

Booze of choice - non fat tall latte (I don't do booze...I don't need another addiction. Food has been hard enough to get beyond, let alone liquor.)

Chore I hate - weeding, cleaning out the fridge, and doing bathrooms.

Dog or Cat - right now a dog and she seems to be my sole responsibility. (Pastor Lisa, I need your wisdom. Been meaning to ask you about this.)

Essential electronics - computer, hair dryer and flat iron

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) - Halston

Gold or Silver? - White gold or silver most of the time. When I wear any leopard type prints I go with gold, though.

Hometown - Baltimore, Maryland

Insomnia? - Yes, I am a night person by nature, and then if I'm bothered about something I do stay up. However, it's not to worry anymore. I get up, read the Word and pray or write. I refuse to waste time.

Job Title - Dreamer, Wife (biggest job of all), Mom, Pastor, Writer

Kids? - three (Dustin 17, Jordan 16, Savanna 10) and one in heaven...

Living Arrangement - Florida style home, 4 br/2 bth, back lanai/patio which is my favorite place besides my bed or rocker, 5 queen palms in my front yard, 1 tangerine tree, 1 lemon tree, 1 lime tree in back. I like the way I have decorated our home but the most important thing about it is that I try to keep it with a very comfortable homey feel (warm colors, candlelight, live plants, etc.)

Most admired trait - hard to say because you're asking me what other people think verses what I think is best about myself, but if I had to select something I probably hear most from people it's that I "see things in people they don't see in themselves, pull their good qualities out, encourage, mentor and release them for ministry..."

Overnight Hospital Stays - Several- having tonsils out, having three kids, testing when I was sick a few years ago, gall bladder surgery.

Phobia - having my head underwater, bridges, some heights ; I do not ever put myself in situations where my head is underwater. Taking a bath/shower is as far as it goes. I go in the ocean and pools, but I just don't put my head all the way under. I don't freak out or anything on the bridges or heights as long as I am acting safely (driving with someone who is a good driver, up high where I'm enclosed or where there are sturdy railings, etc. such as on a balcony, etc. But I do not like things like ferris wheels. I hate them. Does not help any when I heard about the family that fell out of one and was killed this past week. Yep, it does truly happen. Does it to most? No. Can it? Yes.

Quote - "When a woman of many words says nothing, her silence is deafening." - King Monkut, Anna and the King

Religion - Christian - Pentecostal - woo woo!

Siblings - Sister (Kimberly) , Sister (Shari), Brother (Charlie)

Time I wake up - Depends what day it is. If I'm off, as late as possible ...if it's a work day, 7:30 or so.

Unusual talent/skill - Everyone's going to take this as a joke but the pathetic thing is, I'm serious about it. Okay, I do have this very unique gift. I can drive by, or into the parking lot of a McDonalds and I can tell you just by a sense of "knowing" or sort of like a sixth sense... by looking at the McDonalds whether the fries are good or not. I have done this for many years, at least 15 or so and it's pretty amazing. I was accused of being wrong once but the truth of the matter is, it was just a matter of one person getting the last batch of fries and the next getting a fresh bag. So it wasn't a pure sample, truly. At any rate, even if I was wrong, once in 15 years isn't a bad record! You can't just say, "tell me if the fries at such and such address are good..." I have to actually drive by, sometimes even drive into the parking lot, and sit there a minute, but I can tell you with certainty before ever going in if they are good or bad. My kids are usually pretty amazed by it. There are times we pull in and I say to my husband, "go on to the next McDonalds. This isn't the right one." I'm telling you, all of you are laughing right now, but I'm serious when I say this really is a gift I have.

Vegetable I refuse to eat - I like them all. No veggie I'll refuse.

Worst habit - just one? Always trying to break one. Hhmmm..the worst would have to be stress eating/binging. One time somebody stole something from our Northside office. I was so angry. I mean over the edge angry. So angry I was shaking. We knew who did it and they actually confessed to it but were not sorry. I was so angry, can't even describe the level to you but right after it happened, Pastor Aaron was coming to our house and I called him on the cell phone and said, "I CAN'T STAND IT! I CAN'T STAND IT! BRING ME A BURGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He gladly stopped (he's so good that way) and got me one and as soon as he walked in the door I ate it like a drug dealer would put a needle in their arm or something...I mean, it was C-R-A-Z-Y. I look back on it now and laugh (so did he!) but the truth is, it's been a long journey for me to work on not doing that constantly. I'm actually proud of myself because I'll confess in all honesty, I used to do that EVERY DAY. If I was upset about anything or anyone, I'd just eat a bag of chips over it, or down a pint of ice cream and sooth myself over it. As it was going down it was like a drug. I don't do that anymore, very rarely. God is healing me. Through seeking him, prayer, and learning from Weight Watchers and the "10 tools for living", I've come a long way. Without the power of the Holy Ghost, I truly would not make it a day though, WW or no WW. The hamburger incident was not good, and at times I still fall. But I had to say, "It's okay Deanna. You fell. Get back up. At least the last time you did that was MONTHS ago, not DAYS, and the next time if there is one will hopefully be further and further, maybe even a year, hopefully then YEARS, and one day...NEVER. That's the goal. Sometimes things happen in stages in our lives, not overnight. I believe sanctification is a process. Other than that, I agree with my Church of God friends on everything. Ha ha!!!

X-rays - lots, too many to name. When Rosemay Latortue is your doctor, she will test you on everything and anything to make sure you're alright. Truthfully I don't mind. I feel safe with her. She likes to "make sure" about things, and I'm so glad. She's a doctor I can trust.

Yummy foods I make - Pot roast with gravy, chicken and dumplings, chicken casserole, homemade rolls and biscuits, homemade breakfast rolls.

Let's see now, Tara already tagged Pastor Lisa so I can't tag her, but I am tagging...

Sharon at A Hoosier Family, Melissa at Melissa at Melissa's Quiet Time Cafe, Pastor Leanne at Musingn-Stuff.

Love you, friends!

Saturday Six

1. What is the most unlucky thing that has happened to you all week?

Out of respect for someone else, I won't answer that.

2. Do bad things happen more often to good people or bad people?

The Bible says the rain falls on the just and the unjust. That's not just a pat answer to me, it's reality. I believe bad things probably do happen a bit more to "bad people" because they are purposely heading in that direction however there is no doubt that bad things happen to really good people.

3. How much do you believe that you can improve your outlook in life (from a “fate” perspective) by doing good deeds and correcting past wrongs?

Hmmm...that's a tough question. I believe we can improve our outlook just by determining to. It's a DECISION. Sometimes I don't always make that decision, I have to confess. I get tired. I believe anytime we get our eyes off of ourselves and do for others, or improve ourselves, our outlook changes. However, nothing permanent really takes place without a heart change before God. I have ability to "do" a lot of things and accomplish a lot but at the end of all that I've still been empty sometimes. The fact is, I need Jesus to help me in changing my heart/perspective.

4. Take the quiz: What will happen to you in the future?

No, I'm not going to talk this quiz. All I have to do to find out my future is READ THE BIBLE. The Word is life - truth.

5. Do you believe in fate, coincidence, or both?

I believe in divine appointment which is another thing altogether. I believe God has one for us every single day. The past few days I think I've missed mine. Maybe that's part of what I'm dealing with right now. I need to look for a divine appointment around every corner and my problems start looking really small.

6. Overall, when “bad things” happen, how often do you believe the victim generally “had it coming?”

Less rather than more. As a pastor, I've seen an awful lot of bad things happen to wonderful people. Take Val Livingstone, for example. We had her funeral today. She was a precious 54 year old woman, full of life, laughter and so much to give who was taken away young by bone cancer. She didn't "have it coming." There are a lot of Val's out there that I've ministered to, and it breaks my heart. Now and again something happens and I think, "they had it coming," but rarely in comparison to others who were just living life and got attacked.

Yippee for funerals

Today was a sucky day in so many ways. I make an attempt to blog honestly although sometimes it's incredibly hard because there are so many confidential things in my life. It's just the nature of it when you are in the ministry. (And I hate it - sometimes I wonder why God chose me for this role in life when He knows I hate secrets so much and value transparency even more. )

Let's put it this way, I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight. I don't do this often - maybe once a year, quite honestly. I'm not a cryer. But when I am, I really am to the degree that the kleenex sticks to my eyelashes in little clumps and I feel like I can't breathe. Interesting that today's "Friday's Five" was on stress, and how I deal with it. :-) Should I have taken that as a prophecy? I didn't read that on the Elijah list or anything today... just kidding, actually I don't really read that. I just find it occasionally in my e-mail box from other people who want to tell me the official word on what God is getting ready to do. :-)

I find it interesting that the other day somebody sent me a prophecy that the bridge falling in Minneapolis meant that God was getting ready to bridge the gap between generations and bridge the gap between races and all this other stuff. And I'm thinking, "okay, that's got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. First of all, I don't think God made that bridge fall. I think He was probably grieved and crying for his children that it fell. Second, if God wants to bridge the gap between generations and races, he's not going to make a bridge in Minneapolis fall to do it. He's going to make the walls in people hearts come down and drop their pride and prejudice, but that's another story. If things like that in my e-mail box weren't so incredibly sad, they'd be funny. But anyway...

I'm getting up in a few short hours to go with Larry to the office - being that we only have one car and he doesn't get out of his meeting until shortly before mine, I have to go with him because it's the only way the schedule will work. So I'm going to get up at the crack of dawn, get dressed for a funeral, go teach my life coaching class, leave life coaching and go straight to a rehearsal for the funeral. This is a black funeral...my absolute favorite kind of funeral. Actually my ONLY kind favorite funeral if there is such a thing. (Although I really will miss the person who passed away - Val Livingstone. A delightful woman. And her passing is very sad to all of us left here on earth.) But, there's no other way for me to explain this other than to say that although I'm white, one day I really want people to give me a black funeral. If you have to die, well, this is the way to do it. It's absolutely incredible.

Tonight I was talking to my friend Joy Conley ( a friend of mine who is a pastor's wife -- she came to our outreach tonight) and she said, "Why are you having a rehearsal for a funeral? I've never done that before in our church." (She too plays the keyboard and does many things like this as I do.) I explained to her...the only "rehearsals" I have ever been asked to do have been for funerals for black people. This is because there is SO MUCH MORE - (in a good way!) to a black funeral than a white one. Actually, white funerals really totally suck compared to ANY of the ones I have been for black people. Here's what goes on...

I do not know if this is how it is all the time - I don't like to stereotype people or events, but this has been my experience -- and it has been an excellent one -- so I don't mind using the stereotype. If somebody out there has been to a boring black funeral, I'll stand corrected. But in my experience, we do umpteen songs and they are all so uplifting. It is a true WORSHIP service. There are about four or five preachers, who all have part in the service. They all talk, and for a long time, too -- but it's very exciting! Sometimes if a preacher shows up that they didn't even know was coming, they will ask him or her to come and say something on the spur of the moment. There are scripture readings that are powerfully done. (Picture TD Jakes on steroids...) It's all a wonderfully spontaneous happening. The keyboard plays the whole time in the background. It really never stops. I'm the one playing tomorrow and will play and stand for several hours, but I'm glad to -- it isn't boring, there's a lot of amen'ing and stuff and shouting. At the end we'll sing something really exciting like Heaven's Jubilee or When the Saints Go Marching In or Soon and Very Soon and we really do not feel we are at a funeral, but more like a Campmeeting Revival. I just did one of these funerals two weeks ago or so, and it had me feeling high for several days. Quite frankly it was more exciting than some church services I have been to. So maybe that's the key...if I'm depressed in the future, I just need to go find one of these funerals! (Although someone would have to die for that to happen and I really don't want that, of course.) Well, that will be my day tomorrow and quite frankly it sounds 100% better than some of what I dealt with today. So after the funeral I'll come home to get everything that isn't already wrapped up for Sunday, wrapped up.

There aren't enough hot fudge sundaes in the world...

There aren't enough elliptical machines that exist...

Not enough potato chips in the all the potato chip factories combined...

Not enough manicures...

Not enough pedicures...

Not enough Bealls or JC Penney's...

that could possibly change the way I feel right now.

But maybe the funeral tomorrow will make me feel better. You really know you're having a bad day when you are hoping a FUNERAL is going to jump start your life again and make you feel better. But yes, I'm actually looking forward to this funeral more than anything this weekend.

And then I just hope Sunday and Monday hold something good in store. I really need it. And if not...I thought about taking my day off next week and just sleeping, however since every single day is booked with important meetings and I don't have a day off next week at all - I'm speaking at a conference on the weekend -- I think something just needs to go right. That's just all there is to it. Something has to go right. Something really has to go right.

Because there's not enough of anything in the world to help me feel better except something supernatural...

Something other-worldly.

By the way, here are two pictures of me from tonight...one with a pig's head. Yes, a real pig head. Today we had a latin festival outreach at church. It did go very well - which is a bright spot in the day. We are launching our first service on Sunday with Spanish interpretation. Yeah! Tonight at the outreach (which was totally free) we had a ton of food served, music, Spanish dances, games, etc. We gave out advertisements about the launch of our Spanish interpretation. I think it was a great success. Well anyway, in addition to the baked chicken, rice and beans, empanadas, plantains and lots of other stuff, we had a whole 200 lb. pig that was roasted on a rotisserie. Then it was laid out flat in a great big huge box, the whole thing. One of the men in our church who is a board member and I had the task of deboning the pig and putting the meat in the roasting pans to serve. I actually volunteered to do it and was very glad to. And then he (board member - Bill) volunteered to help too and he's one of the nicest people in the world to talk to, so it was good. It gave me something to do that kept me very busy.

I head to the kitchen a lot of times if I'm stressed and just busy myself doing things. I don't ever mind serving behind the scenes anyway - I just love serving. Sometimes I'll stay in the kitchen during a whole church event and work especially if I'm really feeling stressed about something and don't want to be out front. It's easy for me to zone out and do dishes for a few hours, or wipe down counters repeatedly or whatever, while I just pray in my head in between talking to whoever talks to me. Today it was particularly nice because there was some Kirk Franklin music playing which I really enjoy...some of his ballads that are so powerful.) The other photo was taken by one of the ladies who told me she wanted to take a photo because I was standing in front of the fan at the conter and my hair was blowing. She told me she thought it would make a nice Myspace picture.

I'm smiling. All of you who are reading this who are pastor's wives totally understand. It really doesn't matter how sucky of a day it was...we always have our smile. It's part of the "pastor's wife's uniform".

Start praying for me, friends

Pastor T spoke with the casting director of the show. They liked his and my husband's "story" so much, they do not even need to show up at the first round of interviews, which are tomorrow. They are moving straight on to the next round, which is Tuesday in Ft. Lauderdale.

All of you who read my blog are my friends, so I'll just tell you what's on the top of my head right now. The fun is just starting for me, and I'm sure Misty may have the same feelings since she is a full time working Mom and college student, and children's pastor's wife.

I'm already trying to figure out how to juggle school starting on Tuesday, Dustin's follow up appointments (only one of them) on Tuesday, work, and more. This is just for an interview, not the show. If they make the show this season, that means it coinciding with a ton of things which would include...my Africa trip, Houston conference, yada yada yada. Not to mention...I have a church to keep going. Of course I'll still do all that, it will just require leaping a zillion tall buildings in a single bound.

I've never had to think twice about sacrificing for Jesus. But I have to think...a lot...about sacrificing for a reality show. (Especially one they might not win - no guarantees.) If they win, it could be the best thing to ever happen...or on the other hand if they don't, it could be...a nightmare. (At least for us wives. I know they'd have a great time, no doubt. But we'd have so much to juggle, I don't even WANT to think about it right now but can't help it.)

Well, there is one good thing about this that is in my mind right now. IF they end up doing this, and IF Misty and I do go through the balancing act that will be required for months time, I know one thing...her and I are in for an incredible reciprocal blessing!!! When it's all over, I think there will be no doubt some of the things I've been waiting for and "casually mentioning" to him will be reality in my life too. So maybe God is setting me up, to have "smooth sailing" on some things that have been a bit of a challenge to get Larry's agreement on? Only time will tell.

We're in for an interesting ride, folks. Pray about it with me. I always said, I wouldn't know WHAT to do if my husband got picked for one of these things. I've always known he wanted to do one. So, now is his chance. And if they get picked, I have to look at the bright side. Besides them fulfilling a dream, it hopefully also means that Misty and I will now have more of a carte blance to as well to fulfill dreams of our hearts that we've been waiting on. At that point, hopefully our "someday" will be...now.

This could all be a moot point as they might not get picked Thursday. But if they do...let the games begin.

This can't be real...

but it is.

I am not sure if I can say which one, so I won't. (Not sure of any rules yet...) BUT...Pastor Trinity just called my husband on his cell phone with the news that the casting director from a very popular reality TV show just called him and...

My husband AND Pastor T may be on there this season. Oh my gosh, I am just...........FREAKING.

What does this mean? Are Misty and I going to be completely embarrassed to ever go out of our homes again?

Are we going to bite our nails down to the nubs each week, nervously watching to see who is winning?

What DO they get if they win this anyway?

And...just how long DO we have to be without our husbands?

If this was a missions trip, I would say, "go for months"...it's all about Jesus. But for a reality show...just how long are Misty and I going to have to sleep alone?

These are all questions that have yet to be answered. And, we don't even know if they are going to be on there yet. But one thing we do know....they are in serious consideration! Pastor T has the message on his cell phone to prove it.

Dear Jesus, what ARE we in for?

I will keep you posted.

Friday Five: Stress Busters

1. First, and before we start busting stress, what causes you the most stress, is it big things or the small stuff ?

Both. I will admit, I've needed professional help to deal with stress. Part of it is needing to get rid of perfectionism while keeping a spirit of excellence. I like things to be done right. When they aren't, it bothers me. I've had to adopt the new mantra, "as far as it depends on me...I'll do it right." I've had to realize, I can only do so much. But what I do - I can commit to do well. When I do something well but for some reason everything else is falling down around me and stuff is out of my control, that's when I use various techniques to help.

2. Exercise or chocolate for stress busting ( or maybe something else)?

Talking to the Lord is my first stress busting technique. When I'm stressed I have to remove myself from situations and get alone. I'll leave an important meeting for 15 minutes if I have to, just to get myself in the right frame of mind. I get alone, if I need to "walk it off" and talk to the Lord, I do. If I need to sit there and breathe deeply and call on God, I do. If I need to pace the room and pray in the Spirit, I do. Somehow I always just know what the situation calls for. I also carry a stress ball with me all the time. Right now I have a new one that is a little rice bean bag - you can even put it in the microwave and heat it up. I also exercise. I do the elliptical if I'm really upset and go hard and fast. When my car got hit the first time I did the elliptical for at least a week straight every night, and I pushed until I was soaked in sweat. I also call a friend who I know will hear me out and not chide me or consider it babyfied, whatever I'm dealing with. If I'm really under stress, I would get counseling in a heartbeat if I needed it.

3.What is your favourite music to chill out to?

When stressed out? Classical if I want to calm down - also Hillsongs Instrumental, Amy Grant Hymns of Faith, and anything by Fernando Ortega.

4. Where do you go to chill?

On my back patio, on my swing, in my rocking chair, on my bike at sunset, in the water at the beach or laying in the sand scrunching my hands and toes in it. Sometimes I lay out flat right in it at the water's edge. I love how the sand feels.

5. Extrovert or introvert, do you relax at a party, or do you prefer a solitary walk?

Hmmm...two extremes. I'm manic in this regard. I like to be the life of the party, but only for a certain extent of time. The other half of the time, I want to have an intimate conversation with one at the most two people, over in the corner over a cup of coffee. I'm the type of person that loves to do karaoke and jump on top of a table and get crazy, but although that's fun you get nothing deep out of it, so the other half of my night needs to be spent really talking and sharing with someone about something life changing. I can't help it, I have this absolute craving for meaningful, life changing conversation. It's one of my addictions that I never plan on giving up.

Thursday's Happenings

Wow, what a day.

I'm still home ~ but I don't mind. I've been taking care of Dustin and working from home. He sleeps a great amount of time, still on his medication every four hours. I wake him up to take it and he goes back to sleep. This is aside from the time that friends visit. It was quiet yesterday and today. No one visited so he just slept and when he woke up I cooked for him and in between, got work done. He looks good to everyone and he still does things with friends but I don't think everyone realizes what pain he's still in. I'm hoping things start dissipating by the next day or two. We're still setting our alarm for every four hours, giving him his pill.

I probably made 100 personal contacts for the Unstoppable Conference today. I haven't counted but that is probably a conservative amount. In between personally contacting friends to talk to them about it, I've been drumming up scholarships from people who I thought might be willing to give one. I have had quite a number of women who need them. A lot of pastor's wives from home missions churches and so forth want to come and their churches just can't always send them nor do they have the funds. Thankfully I've had a few more come in just in the past 24 hours. Making those phone calls to say, "you're covered" is an awesome thing. :-)

I've gotten all my initiatives done plus more, being that I've been working from home. I'm even getting caught up on some projects I had on the back burner. When I'm away from the office and can't be interrupted I get loads of work done.

Larry went after work to the grocery store for some needed items for me to make dinner. When he got to the checkout he couldn't use his debit card. It was frozen by the bank. He was furious. So embarrassing. He was standing there with $30 of groceries, unable to buy them. So he called the bank - completely ticked off. It seems somewhere he bought something (they wouldn't tell us where) had their information "compromised" as they called it. Meaning a store where he got something had info stolen or something along those lines - probably customer's credit card numbers. The store owner reported it, and anybody who had just bought something there all had their cards frozen by their banks so they couldn't buy anything else! (Um, would have been nice for them to tell us...) Obviously it was for OUR benefit so that no one could charge things on our card. And that is appreciated but it would have been nice to know what happened prior to trying to buy something. So, he was so embarrassed and mad. Of course the people at the grocery had no idea of the reason why and for a man to have $1,000 something in the bank that he knows is there and not be able to buy $30 worth of groceries...is a horrible feeling. Especially with the way Larry and I like to be financially responsible with things. Well, the bottom line is this - until his new card comes in the mail, we can only use mine. We share the same bank account but our card numbers are different. Since I didn't use mine at whatever store this happened at, mine is still good. So I went back out and got the groceries. However it was too late after all this time for me to cook so we ate out. :-) And...I'm not complaining.

I have some new motivations to work out...some things that I have to get in shape for. So I have yet to do that tonight. But I will. Progress will be reported on this blog as I make some!

In other news, Pastor Tara Sloan and I are teaming up yet again to go on a new venture and change the world as we know it. We're not ready to reveal our new project but suffice it to say, we are both real excited about it. Interesting thing is, God was speaking to Tara about it before I even spoke to her. One of those "God things". We are still in the planning stages but when we unveil it...my blog readers will be the first to know! Gosh, these things make me want to burst! (Let's hurry up, Tara!!! We're both so busy we need another thing like we need to bang our heads against the wall...BUT...us destiny driven divas CAN'T HELP IT!!!)

Speaking of needing something as much as banging my head against a wall...Larry just came in here and brought me a plate of potato chips. (my greatest weakness...potato chips and chocolate. Ahhhhh! You might ask WHY he just did that if he knows it's my weakness. Well, he doesn't do it all the time. But he knows how much I like them and he most times just wants to make me happy. :-) Plus he sees me sitting here in work out clothes so he realizes I'm going to exercise before I shower and go to bed. Mmmm...these are Lays brand with ridges and when I eat them I just sit here and moan sometimes... there is nothing better than that other than Utz brand which I can't get anymore because I don't live in Maryland. I don't bring them back with me when I fly anymore because the bags burst on me too many times from the air pressure in the plane and then the chips are all smushed. (I filled a suitcase with them once and it was just nothing but a waste.) Okay, I know. Who comes back from vacation with a suitcase filled with bags of potato chips? Only me. Stop laughing.

I met an absolutely delightful lady at church last night. She was a first time visitor. She's seeking God's will for her life at this time, just praying about her future. What a story. Many years ago, her first husband wigged out and left her. If that wasn't enough, she had a wonderful second marriage to a pastor for 26 years, and then he died from colon cancer. Then she got married a third time and a year ago that man died of brain cancer. WOW. She's been through the ringer. And this lady is so sweet. (And I thought I had some problems?) She's thinking about coming to Unstoppable. I really hope she does. I taught on, "Relationships Jesus' Style" last night and she came up afterwards and said she loved it. She said she'll be back next Wed. I am really glad it blessed her. The interesting thing is, I knew there was something "special" about her just by the way she looked as I was speaking - such a warm, smiling face. The kind of person who is easy to relate to and speak to. Hearing her story afterwards was so inspiring.

Larry and I do not have much time off this weekend, only a few hours tomorrow. Tomorrow night is our Latin Festival Outreach. Then on Saturday we have a packed day with men's breakfast, life coaching and a music rehearsal for the funeral, then the funeral. I will cherish our few hours to rest tomorrow. I know I've been home all week but the thing is, (as many people probably don't realize) when you are really "working from home" in the truest sense, you are doing just that - working. It's not a day off at all, in fact sometimes you work even more than you would at the office. Because you are able to put your hand to the plow and work hard uninterrupted. It's been that kind of week for me - plowing through ministry things, taking short breaks to feed Dustin, medicate him, soothe him, then get back to work. I'm looking forward to a few hours to breathe.

Time now to work out, read my Bible, spend some quiet time and go to sleep. Maybe I'll come back and reflect on a few things from my reading and quiet time, maybe not...depends on how the mood strikes.

Five things about change

Another interesting five questions I got off of someone's blog...to give you some insight into this head of mine, for any of you who actually care more about reading this blog than working at your desk... (lol)

1) Share, if you wish, the biggest change you experienced this past year.

The biggest change this year has been in my prayer life. It's gone to a new level. One of my mentors, Dr. Wayne Lee, says that all of us lead better in crisis. I have had some personal crisis this year as I mentioned yesterday in my blog. I prayed before, but I pray differently now. It is not just more prayer, but a differently quality or level of urgency. Also, I now view things completely different after reading the book Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge. This book has impacted my life so much. (A book assigned to me by Dr. Lee) I've subsequently taken the group I'm life coaching through it. I want them to experience it. It's powerful. Through this I have learned that when you miss your secret place time with God, He's not mad at you, He's sad for you. Wow, what a change of perspective. God desperately wants me to have my prayer life more intense for my sake, not His. He's always going to be God whether I pray or not. But when I pray, it changes me.

2) Talk about a time you changed your mind about something, important or not.

Capital punishment. I've changed my mind on it much to my good friend, Bernie's chagrin. Bernie and Lisa, (our good friends/board members/fellow church members) and Larry and I get together for dinner and I throw a hot controversial topic into the mix among the four of us and we hash it out together. I call them my "hot potato topics." We have included others in on these topics from time to time during dinner parties -- the Garlands, the Mackleys and a few others. But everytime we have dinner with the Currie's "hot potato topics" are a main staple no matter what. We enjoy them so and are always able to remain friends after we discuss them! (A main key to having healthy 'hot potato' discussion.)

Well, it's like this, I have always been totally in agreement with capital punishment for the first 39 years of my life. All of a sudden last year I changed my mind. (Bernie is still 100% for it, by the way.) So, why the change? Well it's like this. I hate crime. I abhor hearing about people being raped, abused or murdered. I have no patience for pedophiles. No patience for people who take away our precious children. I know no punishment really brings enough justice, but America is too civilized. I feel so much for the victim's families. Sometimes I even watch Court TV and get emotional over it and cry. Nancy Grace is one of my heroes because she fights for the victims.

I agreed with capital punishment when it was by hanging and the electric chair. Now the only place they do that is Texas (as the country song says, "Don't mess with Texas!") and everywhere else, it's lethal injection. Now, if lethal injection takes too long and puts these murderers in pain, the families of the criminal can even sue for hurting the poor dear! You have to have a nice, calm not-too-discomforting injection. I really don't see the point in that.

When Sadaam Hussein was captured, I didn't want him kept or tried in America. Thank God he was extradited! Why? We're too nice. I knew he would be watching cable TV and probably getting a few bachelor's degrees in prison, maybe even a master's, while some nice law abiding kids in America couldn't afford to go to college. He'd be laying on a bed in prison watching TV and eating Doritos, waiting for them to come to his cell to take him to the weight room to work those Doritos off or play hoops. No thank you. Then if they gave him the death penalty it would have been by a quiet injection.

Capital punishment? No. We're too nice now. Our people in America complain about torture with terrorists that we take as prisoners of war. We can't be mean to these people, after all they are only running planes into our buildings, bombing in our malls and airports, and killing innocent men, women and children. We can't torture these poor souls to get them to cooperate with us and spare our country of further pain!!!

Capital punishment? NO. I've changed my mind on it but not for the reason you think. I still believe "an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth." There is nothing wrong with capital punishment because the Bible simply condemns the taking of innocent life. However, we're just too nice in America now, even to terrorists, amazingly. According to Rosie O'Donnell, they aren't scary people...these terrorists, in her words are just "mothers and fathers" like us and shouldn't even be called a nasty word like "terrorist." Well Rosie, the last time I checked, my mother and father weren't ramming planes into the World Trade Center and if they were, sorry but even I would believe somebody would need to knock their block off for it, relative or not. In fact, I'll take it a step further - if either of my parents decided to blow people up and kill a bunch of our people, I'd step up first in line to say "punish them", not try to find the next Johnnie Cochran.

We in the USA have become too lawsuit happy to do capital punishment appropriately. Why should someone who rapes and kills people, chops them up into little pieces and buries them in a back yard get a nice calm "not too discomforting" injection? It is better to let someone live on death row because prison is far worse a punishment for killing our innocent American people. Let them live everyday in fear of "Bubba" down the hall. Let them live in fear of taking a shower, of eating, of coming out of their cell. Let them lay awake afraid to go to sleep for fear of what someone will do. It's a small price to pay for the innocent person they senselessly abused and the life they took. The person who killed little Jessica Lunsford or Jon Benet or Mollie Klass or Laci Peterson or Nicole Simpson should not get the courtesy of a calm peaceful life or death. Yes, I've changed my mind on capital punishment unless we want to send everybody to Texas for trial and sentencing. Sorry Bernie. Wow, that was a heck of a rant. Sorry, I got a little carried away there, but then again, this is MY blog. :-)

3) Bishop John Shelby Spong wrote a controversial book called "Why Christianity Must Change or Die." Setting aside his ideas--what kind of changes would you like to see in the Church?

Churches need to be healthy or they need to be boldly confronted by an intervention, and if necessary by someone outside such as a consultant or denominational overseer. I believe unhealthy churches hurt people and need to be dealt with. Things are way too political and too many leaders/pastors have the fear of man rather than fear of God. We worry a lot more about what carnal Christians think than we do about people going to hell in need of a Savior. Too many churches are controlled for political reasons by individuals who wound others deeply and hurt God's church and they need to be stopped. Pastors need to be serious as a heart attack about calling the church to loving behavior. It's the only way the world will know we are Christians. The last place we should see abuse is in the church! The term "abusive church" should be an oxymoron. It should not even exist. Unfortunately I know they do because I used to pastor one.

People should not be able to get away with hurtful behavior no matter how talented they are or how much they tithe. It doesn't matter how much "work" a person does for the church, how talented they are, how much they give of their money - if they are harming people or trying to control the pastor or leadership they need to be stopped or asked to leave. The book of Titus tells us this - warn a divisive person once, warn them again, after that have nothing to do with them. I will never, never, never be part of an unhealthy church again. If my church becomes unhealthy and absolutely will not respond to an intervention should one be needed, I would resign and write full time or work at Starbucks if I had to but one thing is clear, I would never pastor an abusive church again nor have my children in one.

A church needs to be healing, not hurting. Changing lives for the better, not harming them. If a church is not doing that maybe they need to shut down and let the people go somewhere where they will be nurtured in a place where they can flourish.

4) Have you changed your hairstyle/hair color in the last five years? If so, how many times?

There is a running joke at our church that our children's pastor started. He says, "you know you're a newcomer to Northside if you've only ever seen one shade of Pastor Deanna's hair." I color my hair every four weeks, so that should tell you something. My hairdresser, Ada does a great job. I trust her completely. I like to be a lot lighter, sometimes she brings me a little darker to have more depth, but there's a change every few weeks. About every three months we do a highlight and really lighten it up. Color is one thing Ada really excels in. But more than that, she's a phenomenal friend. I don't know what I, or my hair, ever did without her.

5) What WERE they thinking with that New Coke thing?

Some whippershapper who knew absolutely nothing about the power of a classic tried to mess with it. That decision, in my opinion, had to stem from a comment in a marketing meeting from a relative newcomer to the table who thought he/she was going to make their mark and be the next wonder boy or girl of the company by their wonderfully creative stratetgic suggestion. (Not!) To add another product would have been fine but completely doing away with a timeless classic was obviously a complete marketing disaster. I am not sure who suggested this but I have a hard time believing anybody with any longevity with the company would have spearheaded this change. Okay, I know this was meant as a funny question but actually I find it a seriously interesting talking point.

For discerning readers only

There are many blogs I read daily, all of which I don't completely agree with, but much of which I do! Sometimes I am hesitant to share books or blogs or such with "church people" as we pastors refer to them as (well, actually I'm a "church person" too, but you know what I mean...) because when we refer to a book or other piece of writing that might have something in it that we who would classify ourselves as conservative Christians definitely do not agree with, everyone is not mature enough to know how to take what is there of worth and put the rest aside. I realize many of the readers of my blog are ministers and I don't even have to explain to you how you can face criticism from those in the church about what you recommend, unless it's just cake batter ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery that you're recommending. (And even then some of the health nuts in your church might try to verbally take you to task for it.)

Sometimes in the past when I'd make sweeping disclaimers, "I don't agree with everything this author says, but this one thing was a great point..." or... "now my views are not in keeping with everything in this movie, but this one scene was poignant..." there would still be somebody upset who would say, "WOULD YOU BELIEVE PASTOR DEANNA RECOMMENDED THIS BOOK/MOVIE?! EGADS!!! I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME TO CALL SPRINGFIELD ON HER, OR AT LEAST LAKELAND!!!" Okay, get a grip folks, put your phones down. Holiness in my life has not gone to hell in a handbasket. Please rest assurred, I do realize the importance of being holy. And, I also realize that we are in the world but not of it. So before some of you get your panties in a bunch over this, just relax and hear me out.

It's important to realize that we can learn from people we don't completely agree with. Come to think of it, there's really no one I agree with 100% on everything, except maybe Joyce Meyer. :-) Seriously I do think she's the bomb, but I'm sure if I had the privilege of spending every day with her or such there would be something I'd find that we don't share the same exact views about.

Reality is, some people are not mature enough to disseminate information properly and quite honestly they are what I call "dangerous readers." Actually, anyone who completely lacks discernment is dangerous. However, I've come to the place of realizing that shouldn't stop us from recommending worthy things to people who DO know how to digest info properly. But there I go, making sweeping disclaimers again. Let me just get to the point, finally.

There are two bloggers I really enjoy that I read most every day that some of you might find interesting. The first is Linda Sharp, and her blog "Don't Get Me Started." As she describes it, this blog is satire, humor, politics, social commentary and flat out ranting on the world around us. You have to watch the flying curse word or two that comes with her posts, however minus the occasional ^@#& I agree with the majority of what she says. I love her style of writing. She's no nonsense, such a practical "common sense" wife, mother,and writer. I find myself laughing at most of her posts. She can talk about the most serious of issues and put a fun spin on them. I think you'll enjoy Linda Sharp. Read her blog, but don't send me any hate mail saying, "Pastor Deanna, did you know she said the word ^@#& four times in that post? Now, was that really necessary and should you, a pastor, really be reading let alone recommending that blog?" Spare yourself the energy and just go back to your vanilla reading.

The second blog I recommend is Jeannie Babb Taylor's blog, On the Other Hand. Jeannie is self described as a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur, a writer, a Christian and a feminist. Jeannie is a local business leader, teaches Sunday school, educates her children at home, and engages in Georgia politics. The first blog that I read by her was called Are We There Yet? and is about the journey for equal rights for women in America, and in the church too. It blessed me so much. Jeannie is the type of person many Christians find to be an oxymoron. Many think, "how can you be a conservative Christian let alone a wife and mother and be so pro equality for women? (Easy - Jesus was and is. We're in good company.)

Jeannie has run for Georgia state office and she is a democrat but I don't hold that against her. :-) Most people who have spent any amount of time with me know I'm very politically conservative, the kind of person who listens to Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity among others. But I also believe it's not about party - it's about values. I would never vote republican simply for the sake of loyalty to a party. It's about values, plain and simple. With the way things are shaping up for '08, I just may be voting on the other side of the aisle. Things this time, in my opinion, are slim pickin's. Anyway, I love Jeannie's writings - don't agree with her about our president, but about her views on women - I'm eating out of the same box of Cheerios with her. But there I go on disclaimers again. Ugh!

You can tell I'm a pastor who's been beat up over giving recommendations a lot, right?

I'll just shut up and say - these are two blogs that you - especially any of you ladies who actually think - will really enjoy.

5 Questions

Saw these on another pastor's blog today and thought I'd take a stab at answering them for myself... my mind is fried from preparing several messages in one day and as all you regular readers know, when I get that way, I "relax" by typing something that doesn't require a lot of study or thought, but is just light and easy writing.

1. Share a moment/ time of real encouragement in your journey of faith.

So many. But I guess the task here is to pick just one. So...I would say the past few months have been a time of real encouragement in my journey of faith. I've gone through a lot with everything from a serious situation with Savanna's teacher at school, to my car being wrecked and totaled, to my son being very sick and hospitalized, to just the day in and day out rigors of pastoring a church. And through all that I've learned even more who's really "with me". My true friends have been of great encouragement and have not failed to lift me up not only in prayer, but in sharing a cup of coffee, a card, a hug or even doing something special to let my children know they are loved. The other thing about all this in the past year is that I've grown a lot closer to God - so much deeper in my walk Him...I truly am, as Pastor Lisa says, "in another place in Him."

2. Do you have a current vision / dream for your work/ family/ministry?

Oh yes, always. I believe if you aim at nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit. For some time now, (actually when I turned 40 a year ago) I developed a personal "statement of purpose" and then my mission/goals written out. I keep them in my daytimer and look at them each day so I know where I'm headed in life just in case a bad day comes and I forget just what is in store for me as I seek Him and continue on the path. I will share them here with you -

My purpose statement:
The purpose of my life is to reach people for Christ and restore and empower them through writing, speaking and personal mentorship, bringing them to a place of impacting others
with their God-given potential.

My lifetime mission/goals:

1) To facilitate a healthy marriage, for life.

2) To do the best I can to raise my children to love and serve the Lord, and to dedicate themselves to furthering His Kingdom in whatever capacity they are called - whether to full time ministry or marketplace ministry.

3) To serve as a true co-pastor/ministry partner, not just in title but in function as a true spiritual mother of a local church body.

4) To spend my life profoundly affecting untold numbers of people through writing.

5) To continue to take local, regional, national and international speaking engagements - as many as I can handle with whatever current season I'm in, and still effectively keep my family and the church as priority.

6) To write, speak and mentor in such a way that leads people to permanent life change, reproducing other leaders in ministry through mentoring/coaching utilizing all three of these avenues.

7) To continue to grow during all seasons of my life, furthering my education in both formalized and non-traditional learning settings.

8) To facilitate health and wholeness for myself personally on a regular basis so I can stay at my optimal best to reach my lifetime goals.

9) To be a full time writer by my life's end.

So there you have it! The great thing about a life purpose statement and mission/goals is that when things come along (which they will in everyone's life) that you aren't sure about doing or not doing, the purpose/mission/goals help you clear away ideas and opportunities that are not for you and focus on God's agenda for your life.

Having this made clear for me makes things much easier and also helps me form the relationships I need in life. (All of mine are built within the framework of these goals. I realize I also need friends that move me toward these goals, not away from them. This also helps me in knowing the difference between a good friend and a God friend!)

3. Money is no object and so you will.....

Pay somebody else to clean my house so I can spend all my time focusing on the above 9 things rather than cleaning toilets and scrubbing floors.

4. How do you see your way through the disappointments? What keeps you going?

A steady, intimate relationship with God where He speaks to me through the disappointments is most crucial. He says in His Word in Isaiah 45:3 that " I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." We can only get certain things by going through the dark times. As we are in those dark times, He shares things with us that we couldn't possibly learn when all is going well. There are things we would learn no other way than facing disappointments. There, you become so attuned to His voice - as He whispers your name. His Word, His power keeps me going. In addition to that I just enjoy going with a friend for coffee and talking about it just to have someone else "with skin on" to listen and pray for me.

5. How important are your roots?

Very important. My hairdresser Ada colors them every four weeks for me. Okay, seriously...my roots are upside down. I believe for the Christian, our roots are in heaven. This world is not our home. First and foremost I'm a daughter of God. I am His alone. At the end of my life, no one will stand with me to answer for my life, just me - before God. No matter where I go in life, where I live or who I do life with, it is God the Father who claims me first and foremost as His own. And I'm so thankful for that. I am His. He is mine. I like it that way.

My cute little curbside tables...

Here is a photo of my two cute little tables that Larry saved from the trash heap today as I detailed in my last post. Can you believe they came from the curb? Me either. So now they are in my family room. Thank you, neighbors. One person's trash is another person's treasure.

Whew. What a night! Just when I thought there couldn't be any more cooking and dishwashing...

Some of the kids (there were still three extra ones here) wanted tea, so I made a pot of Paris tea. Tim loves tea but has never had anything but regular black tea. I told him, being a tea connoisseur, I can teach him all about it. He found it interesting as I brewed the 'perfect pot of tea.' Then the kids were still hungry so I heated up some more chicken and dumplings and homemade biscuits. And they ate yet another box of mac and cheese. Finally I got all the dishes washed up and a few things prepared for tomorrow including sweet rolls and two casseroles. I have a lot of computer work to do tomrorow and I know they will be hungry again and arriving in the morning so I want to be a little more prepared. I really have to knock out a lot of work tomorrow.

Dustin was on his pain killers and really zoned out and wanted to sit in front of the TV and play Halo for a while so he did so by himself while Tim, Stephanie and Laura sat on the stools at the counter in the kitchen and talked to me for what was probably a few hours while I worked in the kitchen. It was fun. Plus I instructed them on how to make a few of my signature dishes. Tim especially enjoys the pot roast and chicken and dumplings. It's hard to believe he'll be leaving for boot camp Wednesday.

Time to do a once more tidy-up out in the family room, read a few of my favorite blogs and crash. I'm going to dream sweet dreams such as, Larry going out to the curb tomorrow morning and finding a Mustang convertible in good condition that somebody is throwing away... (lol) G'night...

A boogie board of grace...

Today was a day to work from home while also taking care of Dustin. He told me last night, "Mom, a few friends are coming over tomorrow."

Translation of a few: a whole bunch! Probably 10 or so by the time the day was done. To see just a few of the friends who frequent here all the time you can see these pictures (from top to bottom pictured are: Dustin and his best friend Stephen, friends Laura, Jasmine, Veronica, and Bobby.)

They started arriving as early as 10:30 this morning. In between showering, taking care of the dog, logging on and getting some work related items done, I started cooking and cleaning. Let's see...half the kids ate hamburger helper (one of Dustin's favorites, and also something relatively "soft" he can eat) and the other half had my homemade chicken and dumplings, and then Jasmine came over and made a delicious chocolate layer cake. (One of Dustin's all time favorites.) Note that Saturday night I made a chocolate layer cake as well. By last night (within 24 hours time) the entire thing had been devoured and now this evening I think there is one piece of Jasmine's cake left out there. I'll probably make another one tonight because he just told me, his friends are coming again tomorrow too.

Right now there are still four of them still here plus Dustin in his room all playing cards on the bed. Some people might think, "do you just let your kids friends come over anytime?" Pretty much, yes. My reasoning is, I want them HERE where I know what they are doing. There are a few other homes I let them go to and stay but very few, and all church families. They have some friends whose parents are likeminded, and it's a good environment and I totally trust it and let them stay there however long they want. But in the case of most all their friends from school...I ask them to come here. And whether it's 1 friend or 50 friends, I will do whatever to make them feel at home, including lighting the candles as I normally do around my house to give it a homey feel, adding extra places at the table at the spur of the moment, cooking special desserts, even setting up for an impromptu tea. I've been known to do that many times. Dustin has just as many friends who are girls who comment quite a bit that they just "love coming to Mrs. Shrodes house for tea..."! It's funny now that I think about it...all the boys call me Momma Shrodes, and all the girls call me Mrs. Shrodes. (Dustin and Jordan call me Momma so I guess their guy friends just follow their lead, and the girls are a little more formal and proper? I dunno, in any case I have never told them what to call me, they just...do.) How long will I be involved? As long as the kids live with me. I don't believe parenting ends at 18, or your responsibilities - but as long as your kids are under your roof, you have authority in what goes on and as a parent you should know what's going on. Also, many of these kids have come to know the Lord through Dustin's steady witness. We welcome them into our home and love them like our own.

So among the friends who have been coming over to the house very regularly...Veronica, Laura, Jasmine (told you he had a lot of friends who are girls), Bobby, Stephen, Tim, among many others. Yesterday a girl came named Stephanie from school...I had never met her before. They brought Dustin yogurt. He has gotten so many "gifts" of ice cream and yogurt, it's actually been quite helpful to our grocery bill. (Especially with all these kids coming over, ha ha!) Gotta take a break for a sec... kids are hungry... be back in a few...


[30 minutes later..] Okay, I'm back. Whew. I have done so much cooking and dish washing today. Everyone was hungry. Dustin wanted macaroni so I made it for all of them...(I stocked up on like 10 boxes of Kraft) and made some for the kids who are left here, and I just ran out of bowls, that's how many dishes I've just used and have in the dishwasher. Both complete sets of my "casual" dishes...currently being washed. So,we just went to paper bowls that I had in the cabinet. Right now I'm thinking, "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE?" That's what we are doing tomorrow...paper plates and bowls. Stroke of genius!

Larry's getting ready to go to the store and finish getting school supplies tonight since the "tax free" day ends today. I got Savanna a few items on Sunday but we still have to finish up the rest of it for them. Just re-scheduled Dustin's registration for Thursday, and meanwhile Larry took Jordan for registration today as it was the day for juniors at the high school. (Can you believe he's a junior?) All these appointments... I'll be glad when it's all done...school shopping, school registrations, doctor's appointments (still quite a few of those left for Dustin to follow up), Geena's annual appt that had to be rescheduled, yada yada yada. Sometimes I just feel like I'm swimming in this stuff. Thank God for a "boogie board of grace." That's what I feel like I'm on most times.

In other good news today, I got two new end tables for my family room. From...da da da da...the trash at the curb! Yee ha! No kidding. I've been wanting two dark brown tables and we have even been shopping for them but just haven't found anything. Larry was leaving for the church office this morning and found two at the curb that somebody had left out. He brought them home and we "Pledged' them up. They really look good, IMHO. At the very least they will do for now and are better than anything I've found yet in a store. You would never know these things came from a curb, trust me! I would show a picture on here but my camera batteries are dead right now. Speaking of that...Larry just left to go to the store, so I'll get off of here and call him and tell him to add batteries to the list...I will put a photo of my two little tables up later.

Anyway...one last thing...the tables will go well with my antique family room coffee table that I bought at an auction for $1. No kidding! We had it refinished and covered it with a glass top and it looks like a million bucks. We get compliments on it all the time. Sometimes we even gather around it and eat. Someone in the church who knows antiques looked at it and said it's worth quite a bit. But I'll never get rid of it. It's precious to me. Knock on wood... (pun not intended) I guess I better be careful of saying I'll never get rid of it since it seems everything "special" to me but my family has been broken, trashed, totaled and taken away from me in the past several months. I literally prayed, "oh God, just spare the house from burning down!" Maybe that's a little drastic but the thing is, it seems like everytime I've turned around something is being trashed and ruined that means something special to me. I'm sentimental and I hate that. But I am reminded - as long as we have God and our family...we have it all, really.

Soon it will be time to go to sleep, get up and ride my boogie board of God's grace once again through my full day tomorrow. I have about 30 initiatives to accomplish this week in addition to taking care of Dustin. Good thing I'm not doing it alone. The power of the Holy Spirit is an awesome thing.

p.s. Jordan and I just noticed today when doing some weeding on the side beds that the first tangerine has come out on our tree! I love small things like that...they give me so much joy.

A different kind of Sunday

It was a unique day to say the least for us. But it was good.

Dustin and I had to stay home from church today as he is not allowed to go out anywhere until Wednesday. We slept in which for us happens about once in a decade on a Sunday, if that. Maybe vacation when we choose to go to a late service or something but that's about it.

Dustin rested this morning while I got up and cooked and cleaned in preparation to have guests for lunch. We were blessed by a visit today from Chad and Jodie Probert, (these photos here are of them) a couple who were kids from our youth group when we were youth pastors in Ohio. They are a special duo...just love the Lord so much and serve him faithfully. We are so proud of them as we are so many from that group who just turned out wonderful! Back then I always said that we would know how successful we truly were in youth ministry not based on what happened right then at the time, but based on what our kids were like a decade later. You can see growth in a youth group but you do wonder if you are making a lasting difference many times. Because that is where the real effectiveness is, not just having an awesome service or great activities, but in truly knowing lives are changed and set on a passionate course for God. We find out more and more just what a blessing so many of those teens (now adults) from our youth group are to the body of Christ, and to the world. Just in the past few years we came across David and his wife who are now youth pastoring, and Lee and his wife who are senior pastoring - with families of their own...amazing! And just recently we heard from Kristan who is also married and serving the Lord faithfully with her husband. We are so proud of all of them for the choices they have made in their lives and the commitment they have to God and His church. There is NOTHING like seeing your "spiritual kids" grow up and live fruitful lives for the Lord. So back to our visit...

Larry and our other kids were at church and from what I understand they enjoyed a great service with quite a few people getting saved. (Now that's what I miss most!) Larry brought the Proberts back for lunch. I made a huge spread for us with all the trimmings - pulled out my china and all the stuff that I love to do so much.

After lunch, Larry asked Chad if he wanted to go play 9 holes of golf here in Lexington Oaks (where we live), which really greatly appealed to Chad. By this time, Bobby had come by to visit Dustin and I asked him if he would mind staying with Dustin for a little bit while Jodie and Savanna and I went down to Bealls. (Somebody has to be with Dustin 24/7.) Bobby said he wouldn't mind "babysitting" at all, in fact he'd rather enjoy it. So, with that settled, us girls went down to Bealls for a little bit while the guys played golf.

All in all we enjoyed a wonderful day of sharing, catching up, reminiscing about old times, and thanking God for all His blessings now. (Did I mention I'm so proud of them?)

They are in Tampa because they are leaving for a 5 day cruise tomorrow to the Carribean. Was so good to have them here...and looking forward to hearing all the new things God continues to do in them...

Yes, it's been a unique day...but a good one.

Jordan riding the waves

The youth went to Cocoa Beach this weekend, and of course for Jordan, that meant surfing. Here are some pictures from his weekend. He said, "Momma, are you going to blog my pictures?"

Of course!

He had a really good time but then I've never known him to have a bad time surfing. :-) Sure wish his brother could have gone but there will be other times.

Hidden in Christ, not in a husband - updated

Colossians 3:3 "For you died, and your life is is now hidden with Christ in God."

Who and what is a marriage about? A man? A woman? Both?

Well in some people's cases, it's about the man. Everything revolves around him. Not much is going to happen unless he says it (and in some cases even when he doesn't say it). Every one of his beliefs are the belief of the household. Just the implication that he desires something warrants things going in the "inferred" direction. God forbid a wife feel or express the opposite, because to do so might be an insult to his manhood in some way. It's amazing to me the things people come up with to indicate that someone's "manhood" has been threatened, or that they have somehow been "emasculated." For many all it takes is for them to realize the fact that their wife indeed still has brain cells left after marrying them.

One time I was counseling someone who felt "emasculated" because their wife handled the balancing of the check book and did a better job than they did. (All I had to say to this was THANK YOU JESUS that he was married to someone else besides me. What in the world a check book and emasculation have to do with one another, I'll never know.) There are things Larry knows I do better than him. The check book? No. God has definitely given him ALL the brain power on that one. However, quite a few other things I can do better and you know, he's just fine by that and thanks God for it. He sees it as a gift to him. These things are usually the things he puts me in charge of - like administration. He says, "God gave me a wonderful gift of administration. It's called...Deanna." One time he was villified for not being a good administrator and he said, "I don't have to learn to be a good one. That's what I have my wife for, and I can turn her loose with her gifts while I focus on flowing in the ones God has given me." If you ask me, I think that's pretty brillliant. :-)

In other cases, marriage is all about the woman. Her wants, her needs, her desires. In these relationships the pendulum swings to the opposite unhealthy extreme. God forbid anything happen that inconveniences her, causes her to make any sacrifices, or adjustments. Clearly in some relationships everything is about the wife's contentment and happiness. This would not be so unlike all the men who aren't fulfilling the call of God on their lives because it's too much to ask of their wives. I shudder to think about that and have always been scared to become one of those women because I fear the judgment of God on that. It's a serious thing to squelch another person's call. And if you are married, you do have the power to do that because as the Apostle Paul said - a person who is not married is completely free to concern themselves only with Kingdom matters, whereas a married person also has to be concerned about pleasing their mate. Some people have to be so concerned with pleasing their mate that they don't fulfill the call of God. Tragic.

Yet in other people's cases - marriage is not about either the man or the woman - it's all about the kids! These people run a child-centered home and relationship. That's a whole story in itself that would demand it's own blog, so let's not go there today.

Back to marriage. Who is it about? I submit to you that it's both the man and woman- equally. Truly healthy relationships flow together on the foundation of mutual love, respect and admiration. The Bible tells me that I'm hidden in Christ - not in a husband. When I married him, my ideas, my thoughts, my ways of expressing myself did not suddenly become encapsulated in him. We became one flesh, but I still retained my own brain. God didn't say that a wife was to check her brain at the door of the marriage altar - He just told her to cleave to her husband. Last time I checked, cleaving didn't equal a lobotomy. In many Christian circles though, it appears that way. Certain leaders even teach to not let your husband know that you have a better way of doing things, or that you have the answer that seems to escape his mind, because it will cause him to feel inferior to you. Are men really that weak? I don't think so. And for the ones that are - let them get counseling.

Recently there was a presidential candidate (quite truthfully I don't remember which one) who was asked their position on an issue and they answered, "I feel this way, but my wife, in fact believes the opposite." People were in a little bit of an uproar over that, like, "why in the world would he say that?!" Some thought it was inappropriate, but I myself had total admiration for the answer. It was like he was saying, "my wife and I share differing opinions on this - and I'm okay with that, in fact I even welcome it." Some people in the world today still can't abide a husband and wife who are both thinkers, with freedom of expression.

Contrast this to recently when our fellowship/denomination was on the cusp of many changes and people had many strong opinions about it. Several of my female colleagues had very strong opinions about it, some even more so than me if you can imagine it! A few did not articulate their opinions at all, simply because of their husband. (Whether he agreed with them on their views or not - they stayed silent.) One friend of mine did share their opinion, but anonymously. The funny thing is, my husband saw her comments written on a blog, immediately recognized who she was out of hundreds of other posters by the tone and content of her writing and said, "why didn't Sally (not her real name) just say who she was?" I said, "Because of John. (her husband - not his real name) He always forbids her to say anything. He would hit the ceiling if she did." Larry looked at me puzzled and said, "that's so silly. Why is he so insecure? "

I agree, and I'm so glad to have a husband who feels that way. Not only am I glad, but I'm relieved because quite honestly anything else would probably have me secretly regretting my decision to marry. Some people have asked me, "so have you ever struggled with this? Has it ever been an issue in your relationship?" Yes, earlier on it was more of an issue. I think everybody has these things to work out in their marriage. As you mature, and your marriage matures, things evolve. At least they do in a balanced, equal relationship. In the earlier days, there were things, more or less because of cultural expectations that I felt were expected of me, and that Larry did expect of me in years gone by. And at one point, it made me "not so much myself" anymore. I discovered living this way did make me morph into something completely different, something not good. (Because I believe that anything that has you abandoning or denying your true person and becoming something else to simply fulfill others expectations is a lie.) So at one point in our relationship, I was quiet for several months. I know, it's hard to believe. I didn't want to live a lie, so I just stayed quiet. It was either - say things I didn't mean or be quiet. So I chose the latter. One day Larry said to me, "I want my best friend back." I said, "do you really? Because that best friend is someone of a unique personality who doesn't always measure up to the cultural expectations around you, nor agree with you cover to cover. So let me know if you really want 'me' back and I'll be glad to come back, but it will be as myself and not someone else." He said, "yes, I want you." And I came back and have been here ever since. So I do tell you that through experience I have found, when one is forced through cultural expectations to "hide themselves" in a husband, it really causes you to be depressed and to become someone you're not or to just be quiet. One time a district official even said to me, "pastor's wives who are very opinionated have to realize that to succeed in the ministry you do just have to surpress yourself." To be honest with you that completely sickened me and I thought, "let me out of this box...now!" I began to feel like I was emotionally gasping for air when I heard that. No, that's not the life for me. And if I began to feel pulled that way, I let Larry know it right away.

The awesome thing is, when your husband realizes you still have ideas and shouldn't be dumbed down or silenced and are worthy of equal respect, I believe it makes you more mindful of how it affects them, at least it does me. Case in point. Larry has come to realize thatI have strong views and am not afraid of expressing them. Thankfully he (most of the time) respects the fact that I am not only his wife but an individual who should have opportunity to share the way I feel about something. Because he is that way, it makes it easier for me to decide to not express myself at times- and not only be happy about it - but let it be my choice.

This week something happened in the ministry political realm that I wanted to speak out about. Actually I did. Initially, I said something. What I said was true, was funny, and besides all that made a very concise and clear case for something I and quite a few other people felt strongly about. When I told Larry, he completely agreed with me, but also thought my statement was very controversial. I have to admit, after saying it, I sort of felt like the Assemblies of God Ann Coulter. Was my statement true? Yes, absolutely. I even had documented proof to 100% back up everything I said. It was a slam dunk of a statement if I do say so. Was what I said creative? Yes. Was what I said spiritually wrong? No. But I also realized that while my husband gave absolutely no indication that he was upset or wished I would change it, I also knew that inwardly he probably cringed at it, though he would never take away my privilege to say it. And it was that - his attitude or should I say lack thereof -- that caused me to go back and delete my comments. What made it so easy for me to do that was that Larry never asked nor expected me to. In fact, he was eager to find out how people would respond to what I said. He asked, "hey, what are people saying about your statement?" I said, "oh nothing, because I deleted it." He would have never asked me to but I could tell he was happy that I did. And because of the mutual admiration we have for each other - I'm happy that he's happy!

There have been a few things over the course of 20 years that I've done that with. When I have, it's been an easy choice. No angst. For you see, I truly had a choice. And I think that's what so many women are missing. The freedom of choice. The freedom of truly free speech, free thought, the freedom to create and express without being expected to have their mind and their speech so completely hidden in someone else. Such women, I believe, harbor a lot of inner resentment and rightly so. Anybody squelching their mind and expression for so long is just a ticking time bomb (one of those women who all of a sudden just gets in the car, drives off and never comes back) or a serious candidate for depression.

So, who is it all about? Both. When your lives are both hidden in Christ, that is where true partnership blossoms. God has called us to partnership - not puppetship.

Because I am hidden in Christ, I am given choices, but I am also led by the spirit in making right choices. Not decisions made by force, but choices arrived at by love and mutual respect.

I've heard it said that "Marriage should be a mutual admiration society." Because of my admiration for Larry, I make my choices more carefully. What makes it easy for me to do that is because of his admiration for me he sets me free to make my choices. This is definitely a two way street.

Dr. David Edgerly, marriage therapist says the following: "In relationships of mutual respect there is no "giving in". The concept of "giving in" remains caught in a hierarchical power struggle. This is the core issue. Mutual respect means we often go with an idea other than our own because we have total faith in our partner. Neither active listening nor giving in will lead partners to feel safe if either partner believes himself or herself to be better. The journey for partners is to advance the team through mutual growth, success and respect."

Our first night at home

This night of sleep was AMAZING. Never has sleep felt so good in all my life.

I took a bath last night before bed and it was so good to be in my tub. Small things take on great significance when you have been without them. I gave Dustin his pain medication at 11 pm and went to bed. Larry stayed up and watched TV with him and then gave him his next dose at 3 am. I was sleeping. :-) Larry set the alarm for 7 am and I got up and gave him his next pain pill. He has no problem waking up for them because by four hours time, he's in pain and it usually wakes him up. He very gladly sits up, quickly takes the pill and lays back down. For those who have ever tried to wake Dustin up, you know it's very difficult. He's a sleeper and gets upset when woke up. But this is different...it's like he's been just waiting for you to come in with the pill. Hopefully tonight we will start to see some difference in the level of pain medication he needs to rest. I am going to try to stretch it out a little longer and wean him off of the pills in the next few days, eventually switching to Tylenol.

At least now he can truly sleep, without interruption. The body heals when sleeping, which is why I can't see how anyone in a hospital ever actually heals since you get very little uninterrupted time. Just when you finally doze off, there is somebody at the side of your bed to take your vitals, take blood, bring your food, etc. Now that he is home, we can just give him the meds and let him sleep. I think healing will greatly accellerate now and we are going to see a huge change.

Dustin is sleeping right now and I think he has some visitors coming this afternoon. Time for me to tidy up.

Interesting clothing line for women pastors

Look at this t-shirt I found for sale at a women in ministry website. Hysterical! Not sure if I want to order one or not, though. It may draw more attention to my backside and this is an area I really don't want anyone looking at any more than they already may. (I don't exactly have "buns of steel" no matter how hard I work out!)

I do have to give kudos to these gals for creativity, though. I did sweatshirts a while back on my www.pastoringpartners.com site and they just said had our slogan ("the international source for women in ministry") and then "Partner...it's who I am, it's what I do!" on the back. But this has me thinking about some other things I might create...hmmmm...the ideas are churning even at this moment.

Something for women to smile about

George O. Wood was elected as General Superintendent of the A/G!

I for one am a happy camper. (By the way, Larry and I are crazy about Alton Garrison and Doug Clay too...and would have been thrilled if either of them got GS as well.) But to have Bro. Wood is just a delightful thing. I for one, am very proud to say he is our General Superintendent.

Why will women be happy that Bro. Wood is our superintendent? Because he celebrates women in ministry, he doesn't just tolerate it. To read just how strongly he feels about it, check out one of his sermons on the subject, here. He doesn't just hold this view, he makes it very public that this is the way he feels and more than that, he ACTS on what he believes on this issue. Dr. Wood is a genuine friend to women in ministry, everywhere.

Yes, Larry is happy about Bro. Wood being our superintendent, but I think I for one am just a little bit happier!

By the way, if you would like to join the "I want to be George Wood When I Grow Up" group on Facebook, click here. Some brilliant Bible college kid put this together...one who obviously knows a good theologian who rightly divides the word of truth when he sees one. :-)

We're home

Dustin is home

We came home just a few minutes ago after stopping for his meds on the way home. Thank you for all your prayers.

Dustin will have to be at home until Wednesday, continuing his recooperation and medication at home. Some friends have asked about visiting. This is great, just give me a few hours to get the house in visiting order! You are more than welcome, but please call first so that I know you're coming. We're grateful, incredibly grateful that he's home but please keep praying for him as he is still completing his recovery. Thanks to all of you, near and far, who have lifted him up in prayer. We love you.

Blogging will be short to none today as I have a house to get in order, and I'll be taking care of him all week long as well in between working at home and all that jazz. Once I get the house clean today and in a rhythm of doing things in doing my work and taking care of him, you'll hear from me more.

This morning's news

Dustin got a few hours sleep but we did have a rough night because they let his medication run out (4 and 1/2 hours) before doing again. They have a policy that they just don't give it automatically...you have to ask, so he woke up in horrible pain. It took about an hour to get the pain under control again. We're not going through that again. I asked them to please bring it in four more hours and not break the continuity of the medication because it just puts him in such severe pain to do so. He's doing better this morning with the pain he got meds on time. I am setting my cell phone on vibrate and keeping it by me all night long to set alarms as to when he should have the meds so he does not miss one and go through this again.

We met with the infectious disease specialist, Dr. Barbour. Looks like Dustin will be here at least until tomorrow on IV antibiotics and then if stabilized be sent home with antibiotic tablets instead of IV. That is a true answer to prayer. First to not have to get the pick line...or have IV's at home. (yesterday we were originally told he would get a pick line put in and have to have IV's at home for a week or two.) However things are getting under control enough that they think they will be able to switch him over to pills and send him home.

I just took a shower. It was so wonderful. :-)

What's happening tonight

Here I am with the latest update on our boy...

As I've said before, this isn't just a simple tonsillectomy...other factors going on here, the main one being the MRSA. We just saw the infectious disease specialist...and learned he will be here at the hospital (UCH Fletcher) until Friday, maybe Saturday. But God is in control. We know He is watching over us. Dust is enjoying all the many messages on Myspace, text messages, and calls. He had about 15-20 friends visit him tonight. Everybody actually looks kinda cute in the masks and gloves. :-) The nurses are very flexible with visiting hours since he's a teenager. As long as everybody's good and not too much noise, they've even let his friends stay hours later.

By the way, you thought Dustin was funny before? YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING TIL YOU EXPERIENCE HIM ON MORPHINE!!! HA HA! Thanks everybody for continuing to pray for our boy...

God is in control...and we know soon he will be good as new, in Jesus name!!!

Love you all..............

Dustin is out of surgery

We are in recovery with Dustin. We have been here about 1 hour. Surgery went well. Dr. Patel said there were a whole 10 cc's of infection that he pulled out. He said there was bad scarring from the infection (all of which will go away) but he said it explains all the horrible extent of the pain he was in. He removed the tonsils & adenoids (sp?)

Dust is in terrible pain. They just got it under control after 3 doses of morphine and Larry asked me to sit down and update everyone and let you know what's going on and ask you to specifically pray for his pain. He calmed down about 30 min ago now that the meds kicked in. Dr. Patel said the first hour is the worst but by tonight he should want something cold to eat/drink.

In just a moment we are going upstairs to his room. He will be able to have visitors. A lot of people have asked about that. In a few hours I would think he would be ready.

An infectious disease specialist is coming to see him later on today or in the morning about how things are coming with the MRSA infection. We will give everybody an update. Please pray for the pain, the infection to go away.

We appreciate all your prayers.

This morning's update on Dustin

Dustin is having surgery at noon today - they will be coming to get him soon. I'm blogging quickly with an update since so many have said they are praying for him specifically. Thank you so much, my friends!

Not much sleep last night for either of us (not that I expected any) - with people getting his vitals all night and giving him pain killers. And, his fever broke at about 3 am so we had to change everything as he and the bed were soaked. Once we changed all that and they gave him a dose of morphine we got just a little bit of rest.

With his blood work last night they found out he also has mono in addition to the MRSA (which is highly contagious - everyone coming in will now be wearing gloves/mask - I myself have not been worrying too much because I have cared for him for so long without it...although I'm not totally careless...) and tests also show anemia. So these are a few complications, but God is in control!

Right now a child psychologist is here talking to him about his hospital stay, how he "feels" (he's enjoying this a lot! She thinks he's real funny!) She asked what she could do to make his stay better...he told her he loves music. She just brought him a keyboard! Isn't that great? She said she wants him to leave here and look back on his stay with some positive things. If you have to be in a hospital, this is a good one to be in. :-)Thank you everyone for continued prayer - surgery will only be an hour or so. Anyone is welcome to call myself or his father to get an update or if you stop by, we will be in the waiting from from probably 11:00 on, and then back from surgery at about 1:30 or so on...Love to all...

Please pray for our son...

I'm at the hospital and things have simmered down and I have internet here in the room. Dustin will be here longer than we thought. We will be here two nights and two days - at least. It is a little bit more serious that I originally realized. Please pray for him. He has 102 fever and what is called a staph resistant infection. His tonsillectomy is tomorrow. Due to the fact that the infection is so bad (he can't even swallow hardly at all or talk) there is a danger with bleeding and they have to keep a close watch on him after the surgery for 7 days. After two days they will let him go home but we have to watch him carefully and if it bleeds run back to the hospital.

So here we are...room 338 in the Pediatric floor of University Community Hospital on Fletcher. If any of you reading who are personal friends with him want to call, feel free to call my cell or the hospital phone -- 813) 971-6000 and ask for room 338. (I'll give him your message even if he can't talk. )

They couldn't get his IV in for a long time because he was very dehydrated but they finally got it in and he is doing a little better now with some fluids. He is laying here listening to his IPOD and talking to Pastor Aaron who brought him his "last meal" before the cut off time before his surgery. He only age a few bites because the pain is so bad.

This all started a few weeks ago he had a tonsil that was abcessed. They had to do a procedure to drain it (while he was awake)...VERY painful in fact he passed out and threw up several times in the midst of it. They said there was only a 3-4% chance of this ever coming back and that even so we might want to consider having his tonsils out. (Which is much harder at 17 than when you are a little child.) We have been thinking about it but now it appears there is no option. Last night he started hurting again. This morning he couldn't even hardly swallow so I called the ENT, who saw him today and immediately admitted him to the hospital.

Thank you for keeping him in your prayers, those of you who are close to him, and those who don't even know him but read my blog.

So...pray for my (now big 17 year old) Dustin Bustin Chocki Woki (nickame). One good thing - because he's a few months shy of 18 he still got to stay in the pediatric ward. He's getting a lot more attention, has his own room - and a jungle/leopard room at that! Complete with his own X-box!

Thank you all for your prayers for our little (okay big) Choc-O-lat. Love to all...

Dustin in hospital

Not sure if I'll be blogging the next few days (depends on availability of WIFI) but I'm off to the hospital - Dustin was just admitted, at least overnight. He has to have a tonsillectomy right away. I'm just posting this blog to ask for prayer.

Will be back to update everyone when I can. Thank you for your prayer for my Chocki. :-)

Love all of you readers............

Extraordinary Hidden Talent

I am always amazed at the number of extraordinarily talented people who have yet to be discovered. I'm convinced, there are an incredible amount of them in the church. Listen to this video of a man by the name of Paul Potts. Up until the time of his appearance on this reality TV show he was a Mobile phone salesman. When people view this video, many just weep, and I understand why. He's extraordinarily gifted - by God, to sing opera. I am not even a big opera fan, but this guy gives me chills. I listen to him and I think...who is the next Paul Potts? There might be someone sitting next to you in church, or working down the street in CVS or Burger King, who possesses an extraordinary gift from God that nobody knows about yet. Amazing! I want to be a person in life, or even more than that a leader in ministry - who finds people that have untapped talent. I desire to bring them out from the shadows and into the light and show people their giftings.

Fried

Tiring day. (Getting tired of me saying that?) Just speaking my thoughts...in my unconventional style, unabridged...

Really too brain fried to blog anything meaningful to speak of. Had a full day at work today, then came home to an absolute wreck. "The band" rehearsing in the garage, complete with a "photo shoot" going on, and a kitchen that looked like a cyclone hit it from kids eating everything but the kitchen sink. I told the kids, that can't happen again. I rushed to get things in order and Larry and I went to a teachers forum for SS tonight and took Savanna with us. I couldn't leave her behind...she was with the boys all day and I just couldn't do it to her. She went along and played with Marcus.

Mondays are mine and Larry's most draining days and honestly when I get home on Monday nights the very last thing in the world I want to do is go out again. I wouldn't even consider a date night, or anything of the sort. I don't work out, or usually do anything of much magnitude but get in my shorts and t-shirt, do a little bit of cleaning, lay around and watch TV with my family or talk, and go to bed. But tonight was one of those nights I couldn't, so we went to the meeting and then I came home and got straight in bed.

Dustin told me he's feeling sick again. With the way he sounds I think he might need another procedure. I need to call the doc in the morning. Take Geena to the doc tomorrow as well for her annual checkup, do a boatload of work, and then maybe chill out for a few hours if I'm blessed that way.

I believe in faith I will be.

In the meantime... working on messages... working out details for Africa...and praying my guts out. I realize more than ever my need to seek the Lord. I'm not a huge fan of Martin Luther, but one thing he did say that I like was, "I have so much to do today that I must pray for three hours first..." I'm sort of feeling that way. But can I do it from my bed?

Anonymous and the Honesty Box a.k.a. Come out, come out wherever you are!

Lately I've been posting comments on a blog that has gotten pretty controversial and a bit debate oriented. What is being written is something I'm rather passionate about, therefore I took the time to comment.

Something I've noticed is that a lot of people comment anonymously. I have given my two cents on that about how much I don't agree with it, and I notice I'm not alone in my sentiments. Many of the people on there believe it is cowardly and inappropriate.

I'm a person who believes strongly in these two things:

1) If you have something to say, identify yourself if people don't already know it's you talking.

2) If somebody tries to tell you something "anonymously" - don't receive it, especially if you are a leader. Most leaders waste too much of their valuable time and energy on things like this when they could be investing it positively in people who really care and stand ready to help you in moving forward. I believe this is one of the enemy's main distractors.

Over the years in ministry I have on occasion gotten an anonymous letter. I put them right where they belong immediately - in file 13 (the trash can!) If someone does not have enough character to sign their name and stand by their words, I have no desire to listen, nor do I believe God expects me to. It's like this - God is light. In Him there is no darkness. Satan works behind the scenes, in the dark, "anonymously" - he's always trying to hide himself, disguise himself. Jesus is about honesty and light, not deceit and things done in the darkness. Another blogger who disagreed with the anonymous posters said, "c'mon everybody, WWJD?" Indeed, what would Jesus do? I submit to you, He wouldn't hide.

There are only very, very rare instances where I believe it's okay to be anonymous. Recently on a blog someone was sharing a traumatic experience they went through as a child at the hands of a group of people in a church. They did not want to reveal the name of the church for obvious reasons. (Who knows, the church could be totally different now, and it wasn't right to disparage their name, so he/she didn't.) I was at a conference recently where someone gave a testimony and left parts out or anonymous because it was about sexual abuse. I can understand leaving something anonymous if you are protecting an innocent child who is abused or such. But in 99% of cases, anonymity is not appropriate.

Over the years, people have tried to anonymously tell me something in the church. For example:

Someone comes to me and says, "Pastor Deanna, "Somebody" feels this way but they didn't want to come to you." (Matthew 18 basically shows you should ignore this unless they handle things properly, just disregard this completely until they follow biblical order.)

Someone else says, "A lot of people" are upset about such and such..." Then you ask, "who?" Usually people will not give names. Why? It's rarely more than three or four people who want it to seem like an army. Anonymity gives them the illusion of power. (And it is an illusion, make no mistake. Usually such people have an incredibly over-estimated view of their importance and impact.)

I've gotten an anonymous note on an offering envelope or a fax (unless it says, "Love you, PD!" or something like that, this is what the church office shredder exists for.)

Signing or doing anything anonymous is for cowards, plain and simple. If you are so right, and you are so passionate about what you believe -- own it! IMHO if you have to hide it or whisper over it, it's probably of the devil.

Recently Facebook added something to their features called an "honesty box." With this feature, if you enable it friends can come to your page and write anything they want to, good or bad, anonymously. Some people seem to be filled with glee over the honesty box. I completely disagree with it. I honestly believe it teaches people to be dishonest. Because hiding who you are is dishonest. If you aren't man or woman enough to own up to your words, you shouldn't say them. "But," I have heard protested, "the honesty box enables people to tell people things they are too afraid to tell them otherwise." Then the fact is, the person writing in the honesty box has issues in their character that they need to work on. If they are not strong or courageous enough to tell the other person face to face or in a signed letter how they feel, their thoughts are not worthy of being heard. Notice I did not say the person is not worthy of being heard. It is simply that they are not able to own up to their words yet and be mature enough to communicate them directly, therefore the words are not yet worthy of being heard and should not be brought forward until they come to that point. To do anything else is to coddle immaturity and make it easy for people to continue in it.

Just in case anybody is wondering...no, I didn't receive an unsigned letter this week! In fact I haven't gotten one in a really long time! (Knock on wood...) But going on... it is unfair for a person to face an unsigned writer. How would you even make a wrong right with someone who writes in your honesty box when you don't even know who they are? And the truth of the matter is...you may not even have the problem that somebody wrote in the honesty box about. It may be their problem that they need to work through, not yours. But they just dropped a boat load of verbal garbage on you that you don't need. Why subject yourself to that?

Let me give you an example. My kids are all on line and participate in these type of forums. Let's say my honesty box is enabled. One night one of my kids misses curfew by 40 minutes. After such they come in completely unapologetic about it and think I'm the crazy one to even expect them to have a curfew. We get in a tiff about it. Their mouth gets out of control and they end up being grounded for a few days. Fast forward to later that week when I get an unsigned comment in my honesty box from my kid that says, "you don't realize it,, but you're really mean. I think you need to pray about it." Obviously it wouldn't be me that had the issue, it would be them. There wouldn't even be anything for me to pray about in the above mentioned circumstance - I would just be not only exercising my God-given right as a parent, but actually following His command to correct my children. However, what if I didn't know the "anonymous note" came from my son or daughter and I gave it a moment's worry? That would be so wrong and needless. Which brings me to my next point.

There is such a thing as earning the right to be heard. I for one don't allow just anybody to speak into my life or dump things on me. I believe every person in this world earns the right to be heard. How do you earn the right to be heard?

1) Identify yourself.

2) Have some relationship with those you are speaking to. (For instance, it always amazes me when a visitor will tell you everything that needs to change about your church. It happens rarely but a few times I've had visitors talk to me about the fact that we need to change our stance on speaking in tongues, or what not. I think to myself, "first of all, these are the foundations of our faith in this church and it's not changing. Second, who are you to tell me this? I've known you for all of five minutes."

3) The level of what I say to a person or what is said to me depends on the depth of relationship. For instance, if asked I would tell my best friend, "that dress does make you look heavier than your other one..." but there is no way in the world I would tell that to just any woman in my church even if we had known each other several years. Only close friends can and should tell each other some things and then only with the gentlest of spirit.

4) The level of what I say or what is said to me depends on the my current level of involvement in whatever I am speaking about. Years ago I served on a ministry committee and while in those meetings spoke freely (being given permission to do so) on issues surrounding the ministry. I would give my advice, ask questions, give an honest critique when invited. However for me to speak to anything at all at this point would be completely inappropriate. Why? I have no level of involvement. I no longer earn the right to be heard there despite all the years I served there. At this point, others have taken on that mantle.

So dear readers, let me, Deanna D. Shrodes, go on record as saying that I do not believe anonymity is right. If you have something to say do the right thing and come out into the light. If you can't do that, then be quiet and let others who have developed the character trait of courage do the talking.

Good Saturday

Today was a mixture of work and play. I had last minute loose ends to tie up for church and house work to do, but Larry wanted to take Savanna and I to the flea market today while the boys went to their jobs at the church. I got my laptop and decided to work while on the way there and back and in between stops and just finish up the house work when we got home. By the time we got to the market it unfortunately was closed, so we just went to some of our other favorite bargain stores and among other things got Savanna's school clothes. The only thing I have left to get her is a back pack and sneakers. It's good to have that done.

We picked the boys up from work and came home and Larry made spaghetti with garlic bread. His is always my favorite. It always tastes better than mine. I always wonder...is that because I didn't have to make it and just got to relax? Or do I really find it better tasting? I don't know but I really don't care to find out - I'm just content to eat what he makes!

While he was cooking the spaghetti, I did a few odd jobs around the house and had to clean up a candleholder that I broke. I was really upset about it...I mean to the degree that I had to go to my room for a while and just cool off. I know that sounds crazy but sometimes I wonder how many more "special things" I'll have to say goodbye to. What means the most to me are special things from others, not things I acquire myself. I'm sentimental in case anyone hasn't figured it out. It's not so much "what" I have in life, it's "who" gave it to me. This candleholder was from Sis. Tanner. It really meant something to me. I was mad at myself for breaking it while I was cleaning. Oh well, it's gone and what's done is done.

The rest of the night I was getting the clothes ready for tomorrow, doing two loads of laundry, tidying up the bathrooms, and a myriad of other stuff like that, plus printing out work I had been doing earlier in the car.

It looks like this coming week after working, I am set to have my day off with no hindrances unless there's an emergency. I love it when I see a free and clear Friday coming. There's nothing like it. I know that I can abandon myself to working hard knowing that the day of rest and refreshing is coming.

I'm looking forward to a GREAT DAY in God's house tomorrow. He is going to do awesome things - I just know it! How blessed we are to serve Him ~ and His people.

Fun Friday ~ Relaxing Friday

Today is fun Friday and I totally made up for my previous lack of opportunity to rest. I slept in til 12:30. Many people wonder, "how do you do that?" Actually that's nothing. Two summers ago, I was so exhausted when we went on vacation that I got to Maryland, got off a plane, ate lunch with my inlaws, and laid down to "take a nap" at 3 pm. Well, I woke up at 10 am...the next day. Yes, 19 hours later. It's like this...I get completely exhausted, that's how that happens.

I do not know how to explain it other than the fact that I get up in the mornings, tidy everything up on my way out the door - dirty breakfast dishes, change over loads of laundry, take care of the dog, go to work, get home and walk in to three kids who are acting like they have not eaten in the last month. I start my second job which is grocery shopping, making supper, taking care of the dog again, cleaning house, taking care of the yard, the laundry, etc. But something is getting ready to change. For one, I called somebody to get an estimate on weeding. I didn't ask Larry how he felt about it - honestly I didn't care. I know it's going to probably be astronomical but it's like this, I can't do it alone anymore. I at least need help with at least one major clean up before summer's over. (Note: for those of you who don't live in Florida let me just explain that "yard work" here takes on a whole new meaning. You have to baby your yard just to keep it alive. Watering, fertilizing, de-bugging, weeding, cutting, edging, blowing - it's all part of it. We have someone who cuts, edges and blows, and de-bugs. You would think I would be able to handle just the weeding/watering/fertilizing but it does get overwhelming at times, like now. One issue is - I can't just not care about it or let it go - not only would it look terrible but I live in a deed restricted community with a lot of rules. We get fined if we let things like this go for any amount of time.)

Sometimes I'm too tired to celebrate what God is doing, because I am so tired and thinking of what has to be done. I have to be honest that I'm just hanging on for one day a week when I can sleep in and catch up from all this. I find myself working on all of it until I drop at night, then waking up and starting on the same merry go round the next day. And all it takes to make me want to pop a gasket is finish all this work and then have somebody put a dirty glass on the counter. That shouldn't make anybody want to pull out an Uzi, but I have to confess, sometimes I feel like that.

Of course if you're reading this and you are single - and don't have a husband or a few kids, you have no idea what I'm talking about even though you might think you do. One time a single woman told me, "but I have it just as bad because I have to clean my house all by myself..." Well it's like this - if you are single, you also have no one else to mess it up. The mess of one person is entirely different than the mess of others. If you don't know how much mess a family makes, rent one for a few days. :-) You'll realize, you aren't doing five times as much laundry or cooking for five times as many. Understand I have to do laundry EVERY DAY or it gets completely out of control wild. Even then, with doing one load a day, it's still not done. It's entirely different when you are dealing with a family and working outside the home. Until you have your own family, it looks easy. In fact, most people say about me, "you make it look so easy!" Maybe because 90% of the time I don't complain about it, I just realize it's life. So everybody just sees me going about it like it's nothing but believe me, it's hard. With the majority of you I am probably preaching to the choir here especially to you who are in ministry and have a church to worry about on top of that. (And God bless those of you like Pastor Lisa or Pastor Tara who have a husband and kids to take care of, house work,, co-pastoring a church AND another 9-5 job to do. Or I look at our children's pastor's wife, Misty, who works a 9-5, runs a household and is very involved in ministry. Her children are really too young to help in the household work in any significant way. So she's got a lot on her shoulders. I remember those days well. I don't know how you do it without a serious breakdown.) I need a personal seminar from you ladies. Most people just tell me, "delegate to others, and don't expect perfection." I don't expect perfection but I do have a hard time when dirt is still there and it feels like a job is "unfinished." It takes me an hour to clean each bathroom in my home, and do it right. It takes my family members about 10 minutes when they do it. Need I say more?

So something's got to give. I know we all don't just get to do the things we love in life. Life isn't a great big bowl of cherries. But it is a bed of roses! (Ever laid down in a bed of roses?) There are chores, aspects of life we all have to take care of and we don't jump up and down with glee over them. But right now I have so much of that on me it, it's a very unbalanced amount IMHO. There are times I get frazzled over this and Larry gives such brilliant advice as: "don't teach Sunday School." WHAT???!! WHAT??!! Is this man on drugs and I just haven't realized it though he lays next to me each night? What would ever possess him to think that I would STOP doing something I love like teach Sunday School in order to have more energy to scrub floors? Why don't I just trade preaching for weeding!!! No, it's hardly a solution, in fact it's a tragedy to think about.

It is interesting to me that many times when women state they feel overwhelmed the very things people suggest we put aside are those things that we love doing most and that which gives us more energy. Things we would many times rather die than quit. I've long said, take teaching away from me and really I wouldn't want to live anymore. I'd rather just go on to heaven, if my life is going to be about weeding, send me to my heavenly home now. I feel a Gaither Homecoming anointing coming on me right now.......... "Beulah land...I'm longing for you...and on thee I'll take my stand...there my home it shall be eter......er....nal... Beulah land...sweet Beulah land." :-)

I once heard a woman teach a workshop where she said that she quit her church ministries because one day she looked up and noticed her ceiling fan was dirty and she hadn't cleaned it in forever. She said the Lord spoke to her and said, "how can you work in the church when you aren't taking care of your family?" She quit everything so she could keep up with cleaning the ceiling fans and the like. Well, I think that's just about the most asinine thing I have ever heard in my life. I truly don't believe God has ever told anyone that over a ceiling fan. In fact, I'd bet my bank account that God never told anyone that. (Though there's not much in it, that wouldn't be a big risk...) Anyway, YOUR FAMILY is not a CEILING FAN. You cannot be related to a ceiling fan. A ceiling fan has no life, no blood, no emotions, no heart. You cannot have "quality time" with a ceiling fan. You cannot watch a movie with a ceiling fan although it will whirr over you while you do. You cannot have dinner with a ceiling fan. No, "cleaning" is not spending time with your family. It is simply cleaning. A necessity in life, that I don't think most people relish. You can hardly compare cleaning your ceiling fan with spending time with those you love. If she was ignoring her family and not spending time with them then yes she should have cut back on other things. It's one thing to unload things from your life in order to spend more time with your family. But I'm sorry, nobody should quit what they love so they will have more time to clean their ceiling fan.

So my friends, some of this is getting ready to change. Not totally sure of all the solutions yet but one by one I'm working on them so I don't hang on every week just to be able to spend my day off sleeping. Even if I unload a few things, I think will STILL have more on my plate at home than I should have. I know it's probably that way with 99% of women out there, but sometimes something's just gotta give... I try to just be diligent, not complain and keep up with it all, but sometimes it does feel overwhelming to keep it all going. Grace, ONLY God's grace.

I determined today was about rest, not anything else. It has been hard to leave things undone, but I have. I had prepped homemade sweet rolls last night and everybody woke up to them today. I took a bath and then got ready and went to get a new set of nails. I don't like doing that but every few months it has to be done or I'll get a fungus. I dread getting the old set pulled off...it's not exactly pleasant and quite honestly I wish there was anesthesia for it. Beauty hurts!!! This is the price I pay to have nice hands. It's important to me when I am up close ministering to someone or take their hand, or pray for them that my hands look nice.

When I was done, I called Larry and he said he wanted me to go somewhere with him and Savanna. We went to Zephyhills to get ice cream and walk around. Savanna has been saving her money for a skirt she wanted from Walmart. It is really cute. She's been asking me about it for two weeks now so tonight we took her. I got the ingredients for a casserole I'm making for this weekend's women's ministry meeting and then came home and put it together and got it ready for when I will bake it. The boys went with Stephen to see Borne Ultimatum. They really liked it. They arrived home when we did and while I was assembling my casserole they were throwing a pizza in the oven. Savanna is watching Princess Diaries right now for the zillionth time while I sit here on the bed typing...

It's been a very relaxing day - MUCH needed. Thank you, Jesus. All that is left for me to do is THE most enjoyable thing which is...read in II Chronicles, and Come Away My Beloved...talk to Jesus a little bit and say G'night.

Please pray with me as I decide how to unload a few things and rearrange others to not be so tired to the extreme anymore. I find it kind of comical that later this month I've been asked to teach a workshop at a conference, called, "God's Wonder Woman!" Actually I do have some great pointers on how to get more done, and how to be more productive and accomplish much. Even if I unloaded half of the stuff I do, I'd still be accomplishing a lot. But the point is, right now I'm doing some things I don't believe God necessarily wants me to do. It has just sort of "fallen to me". Some things that have fallen to me, need to...FALL OFF.

I realize this isn't a blog that makes you wanna jump up and shout. One thing that really bugs me is that when most women write about things like this that they struggle with, they feel pressed that they must write at the end of of it all, "BUT I LOVE MY LIFE! I LOVE MY FAMILY! I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD! I CAN'T COMPLAIN BECAUSE MY LIFE IS JUST OH-SO-WONDERFUL!" I think women do that because they feel guilty for venting about what has them under pressure. The truth of the matter is this: I do love my life, and my family and all in all it is a wonderful life. However, can we please just come into a time when women can share their struggles without people thinking they hate their family and their life? Can we have a world where people know that just because a woman gets things off her chest about the pressure she is facing, she doesn't resent being a wife and mother? That should go without saying, IMHO.

I think I can speak for 99% of the women out there that we love our families - we just need a break or a re-organized job description at home at times. Am I right?

Friday's Feast

http://www.fridaysfeast.com/

Appetizer

On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you? I believe I'm very polite...it's extremely important to me in social settings to use proper ettiquette and manners.


Soup

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? Pastor Trinity talking at lunch. He's always got something to make me laugh whether it be about women in ministry (he's totally for it, btw) or lazy people.


Salad

Who is your favorite cartoon character? Wonder Woman


Main Course

Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had. Mr. Delaney in high school - my theatre teacher. Absolutely hysterical - and I learned so much from him that I still utilize to this day.


Dessert

Complete this sentence: I strongly believe that ______________________.

I strongly believe that nothing is more important than the call of God.

My husband is so hysterical

For those of you who have never seen how funny my husband is...watch this video. Can't believe I haven't posted it here on my blog before now...Iwas looking through our videos on YouTube and just remembered it. We did a Sunday morning series a few months ago called "The Biggest Loser". It was about getting rid of negative things in our lives (bitterness, anger, etc.) that needed to go. Each week we had a video opener. This was one of them. Enjoy...you are going to laugh so hard, you might cry.

Strain for the strength

It rained so hard today in Tampa all day. I woke up late this morning and I don't know if my alarm ever went off. All I remember is waking up perfectly toasty warm under my duvet, with just half my head sticking out from underneath, hearing the rain outside coming down hard. It continued all day with just very brief breaks. It has been kind of nice because it has broken up the heat wave we were having. Things have been much cooler of which I am ever grateful.

Got a lot done at the office today including one of my messages for an upcoming conference. I feel good about it. I have six more messages to work on right now and am just pacing myself on them. We left work at five and went to the grocery and I picked up everything to do chicken casserole for the kids tonight (one of their all time favorites) and I put it with baked potatoes and texas garlic toast and some chocolate chip cookies. They (including Stephen) were elated. When I got home I discovered they had already been to the store and spent a bunch of money getting things to make smoothies and non-alcoholic drinks. They had all this fruit and pina colada mix and were blenderizing all this stuff. I never know what I'm going to come home to. Today I came home to these drinks everywhere and a Christian rock band in my garage wailing away. You could hear them as you were coming down the street it was so loud so I had to come in and ask them to tone it down. This is what life is like with teenage kids if anybody is wondering.

Reading in Oswald Chambers devotional My Utmost for His Highest today and it says: "God will give you nourishment— "To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life.." Revelation 2:7. If you completely give of yourself physically, you become exhausted. But when you give of yourself spiritually, you get more strength. God never gives us strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the moment. Our temptation is to face adversities from the standpoint of our own common sense. But a saint can "be of good cheer" even when seemingly defeated by adversities, because victory is absurdly impossible to everyone, except God."

He goes on to say that we must strain in order to have strength. There is no strength without straining...sort of reminds me of the old saying, "no pain, no gain."

I have been straining - in some areas in a good way - just the kind of straining that produces character, accomplishment, strength spiritually, etc. But then I have also been straining in a few ways that are not productive and of those God is helping me to take a stand and unload some things from my life. I am reminded, God doesn't extend strength for unordained tasks." There are some things that just "fall to me"...I never asked for them nor do I feel God has assigned it, but it's just become me or nothing. I've decided to act on this and unload the strain. Negative things may happen as a result - in fact in some cases things may fall apart. But even if the world should fall apart as a result, I'm not going to save the day because I have to do just what God has told me to handle. I just can't do things anymore that shouldn't be on my list. Enough stressing about it - it's done.

Still reading this week in I Chronicles and today the verse that stood out to me was: I Chronicles 13:18b: "Peace and prosperity be with you and success to all who help you, for your God is the one who helps you."

Some friends just have a way...

Well, it was just gonna be wordless Wednesday until I saw Pastor Lisa's blog. She blessed me today and said such nice things. Thanks PL, you have a way of making a girl feel on top of the world. I feel honored to be in such company as you and sharing the same birthday as Pastor Elissa, an obviously incredible woman of God. (I went and read the story about the healing, WOW...is all I can say.)

I'm having a cup of coffee tonight after church when we take the missionary we are hosting out, and I'll think of you and smile. :-)

p.s. by the way, First Lady Melissa Sutton also had a blog that blessed me today...it's called, "When Life Gives You Cracked Eggs, Bake a Cake!" Good stuff. At some points in my life I could have opened a bakery.

Wordless Wednesday "...and it was a day like any other..."

The beautiful part

"The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon. You can always do it better, find the exact word, the apt phrase, the leaping simile."

Robert Cormier