On the soapbox at Pastor Tara's blog... What's in a Name?

My friend Pastor Tara Sloan (excuse me, Pastor Tara Denson-Sloan) did a blog post today on her blog called "On the soap box with Pastor Deanna." It's really good, not because my name is a part of it, but because she's an excellent writer, and makes incredibly insightful points. She also happens to totally share my heart for so many things. We eat out of the same box of Cheerios. I always enjoy what she has to say and I thought maybe my friends who read my blog might be interested in reading this. So go here to read it.

One thing she talked about today was her name, and the hyphenation of it or lack thereof. By the way Tara, the "D"as my middle name that you always see on anything in writing stands for Doss (my maiden name) that I took as my middle name when we got married. My grandmother (most Godly woman I ever knew) did this herself. When she got married her maiden name became her middle name. She was Jura Ressler and when she married a Lewis she became Jura Ressler Lewis. (If my grandma did it, I assure you, God is alright with it.) I always admired her for so many things and when I got married, I always knew I would do the same, following her example. I had other reasons than that too as I'll soon explain. Anyway, I dropped my original middle name (Lynn) never to be used again, and immediately went with Doss when we got married, and so therefore Deanna Doss Shrodes is on my...

Checks

Social Security card

Debit Card

All my credit cards

My insurance card

On almost every single piece of free lance writing I've ever done.

In the book Chocolate for a Woman's Courage I'm listed as...you guessed it -- Deanna Doss Shrodes...

But do you know the one place my name is not that and never has been? My minister's identification card and certificates! Drives me crazy. Way back when I applied to become a minister, on the application I wrote very clearly my full name, expecting them to write it just like I did on the official documents. Well they did not. They dropped the Doss and kept the Lynn. I remember as clear as day going to the mailbox to get the mail and finding the large envelope with my minister's card and certificate (which is framed in my office) and being so excited it was there........then reading it and going, "uuughhhhhhhhhhh". Larry said, "what's wrong honey?" I hung my head and said, "nothing, they just got my name wrong." I should have called them up right then and there and asked to have it changed but I didn't want to go through the rigamarole of defending it. I didn't know if it was just a secretary's mis-judgment, clerical error, or a well thought out decision. In any case, I had a twinge of disappointment. I regret that now and don't know if I could change it this late in the game.

It's a joke between Larry and I...but when we get into an argument he'll call me Deanna Lynn, just to get under my skin. I usually walk out as soon as he says it and say "there's nobody here by that name..." and ignore what he's saying until he calls me by my proper name (just Deanna, dropping the Lynn) Of course if he keeps it up, I turn around and call him by his middle name (which he hates and I won't print it here out of respect to him) but suffice it to say, we have an understanding in good times of exactly what we want to be called, and why. I would think this is just a basic personal request.

Keeping my maiden name as my middle name makes it easier for people to find me who might have known me in times past and lost track. When I write a piece and it is published, anyone who has ever known me for 40 years knows it's me, not a Deanna someone else. There's no doubt, it's Deanna Doss who grew up on their street, or who they went to high school with, or sang in the choir with in school. It's the same reason I've had the same exact screen name the entire time I have been on the internet. I don't want to change names - somebody might not be able to find me that I want to hear from! (And if I don't want to hear from them, I just press delete, ha ha!) Besides, it's just part of my heritage! Part of who I am. I grew up a Doss, but I am now Larry's wife and we have a family together. Why can't my name reflect both? The answer is, it can. Incidentally nobody really calls me that verbally nor do I refer to myself as that when I talk (although there would be nothing wrong with it if I did), I have just chosen to have my official name as that in anything I write. Make no mistake, I'm very happy to be Larry Shrodes wife, and I'm very happy to be Deanna Shrodes. But I'm also happy to be Deanna Doss Shrodes, because when I married Larry it was just that, a marriage, not a baptism. You know, when you get baptized you go down in the water and you are a new creation...the old is gone...the new has come. You don't ever refer to that "old life" again. Well, on June 27, I was married, not baptized. Yes, I walked down the aisle and started a whole new chapter in life but that didn't mean the previous chapters in the book had to be thrown out and never referred to again! It's still okay to refer to prior chapters now and then if you want to, because they are a part of who you are too, the totality of your life.

My doctor, Rosemay Latortue, (Watson) chose to retain her maiden name and she and her husband have a medical practice together. Unlike me, she actually goes by her maiden name at all times although she's definitely Patrick Watson's wife! Nobody ever questions her about it or thinks it's wrong or weird. Well, quite truthfully I guess most people wouldn't have the nerve to say it to her...she'd give it right back to them. But, she's married to Dr. Watson and they are a fine Christian couple who reach many people around the world for Christ through their missions trips in addition to being in medical practice. To anybody who has a problem with that, I along with you Tara, say, "please come into 2007"! A couple in our church was getting married and the girl said to the guy one night (as a joke, not really meaning it) that she was going to hyphenate her name or make it her middle name when they got married. He got real upset and angry, thought she was serious and said, "don't do that, that would be a slap in the face to me!" He told her he'd refuse to marry her. I knew right then and there the girl was headed for trouble. If he was that insecure, thought that was a slap in the face and would even break off the engagement over it, what other problems did the brother have? I guess now she's finding out, unfortunately as they have now said their "I do's".

Please, don't apologize for who you are, and please, don't let uptight people in your environment convince you to drop anything including part of your name to make them more comfortable. Doing as we do is not for every woman, certainly not, and you are right that with teaching and writing, and having your own business it does make a huge difference in the equation. Most of the time, as you mention, you face issues from women who don't agree with your choice to do this. I am convinced those are the ones who don't really live in the leadership world you live in or walk in the calling you have, and will never comprehend it. And that's okay, they don't have to comprehend it, they just need to leave you alone and let you live out your decisions in peace.

Deep down inside, they probably wish they had 1/4 of the confidence, accomplishments and courage that you do. I'm convinced, when some women make remarks about women like us, inside them there is a root of anger or resentment that they don't feel free to do as they would like to, or courageous enough to make this kind of choice. Because they lived without choices, or simply didn't take advantage of choices that were theirs, they think it's only right that you live the same way you do.

I was going to just post all this privately to Pastor Tara's blog and make my comments personal, however upon thinking about it, I believe every woman needs to hear this. No, not that you need to keep your name. But that it's okay to have choices. It's okay to choose differently than others. It's okay to be yourself even if that "yourself" doesn't look like other married women, especially in your church or in your ministry. It's about not being afraid to do what you feel God leading you to do, or that which you feel comfortable with when He leaves it up to you to make the choice. Isn't it so interesting that it's usually not our husbands who grappled with these issues, but others in our lives? That's another thing I've found - people don't know what to do when you have this kind of husband...it just leaves them dumbfounded to say anything.

If you haven't read Robin McGraw's book, Inside My Heart, read it. I enjoyed it so much. A lot of it is just her life stories and a hodge podge of all kinds of stuff she experienced throughout the years. But the main thing I got from it was Robin's admonition to be yourself, take good care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually and not be afraid to stand up for yourself when you need to. To me, the theme of the book was, "to thine own self be true". She's not completely lost in the shuffle of being Dr. Phil's wife. She knows who she is. She is the wife of a very strong and famous leader, yet she is not so enveloped and submerged in that to the degree that who she is never comes to the surface. She's Robin, and she's got a mind of her own. And quite frankly in some areas she's even as well known or more so than Dr. Phil is now!

We live in such fear sometimes of just relaxing with who we are. It's time we stop apologizing for living our God-given destinies.

Tara, I don't care if you want to call yourself Tara Bara Bo Barah Banana Fanna Fo Ferra Fee fi Fo Fana!!! People should flow with whatever you ask. How many guys do you know who have names like Horace Egbert Beauregard Jr. and then end up calling themselves "Jr." or "H.B."? Nobody's got a problem with that. I know guys whose names don't even have anything to do with one another. My brother is Charlie and everyone calls him "Bubba." My father is Robert but he hates that name so everyone calls him Leon. Most people have no idea my father's name even IS Robert! Our best friend Pastor Randy's name is really William! Most people have no idea his name is William nor does he want them to. He won't know I told anybody because he hardly knows how to turn a computer on let alone blog, so this is my secret with the rest of the people on the web!!! So keep your Denson, girl! At the very least you're givin' those people in Chicago somethin' to talk about, and a great somethin' at that!

What's in a name? Whatever you want there to be.

p.s. Tara, since you are getting absolutely sick to death of people in the church and minister's meetings dropping the Tara, the Denson, and the Sloan and hereafter referring to you only as "Pastor Craig's wife" I have an idea. At your next church fellowship, have Craig wear a name tag that says, "Pastor Tara's husband." :-) Hey, remember when those men did that at the conference? Was that awesome or WHAT? Good memories... in fact I think I'm craving a Ruby Tuesday's salad right now. I miss ya!

p.s.s. Just to be sure she's getting the message, I asked Savanna today, "Savanna, what can girls be when they grow up?" She thought for a minute and said, "Anything but a boy...or God!" YES!!! (And let's not confuse the two - some boys need to remember, they are not God. ha ha!)

it took a test?

to tell me this? No, it didn't, but you're right, Pastor Tara, it is cool to take it and see what you know confirmed! If anybody else wants to take this test, click here. For some reason no matter how many times I tried, I couldn't put my results in my blog through their method of doing it! I am just not the queen of html like Pastor Tara is.

Count on joy!

Okay, so I won't get to do what I want to do on my birthday.

One thing God is teaching me about is dealing with disappointments in the right way. I historically don't do so well with them. My heart gets set on something and then if it doesn't materialize I tend to take it hard. Whether it be the fact that my first car gets wrecked, or that the Hampton Inn and Suites does not have biscuits and gravy when their weekend sign clearly states that they always have them - I get disappointed. I like to be alone when I get disappointed. When I feel that way, I don't want anyone within 10 miles of me. I just want to be alone and process it.

The word disappointment is made up of DIS and APPOINTMENT. DIS means separate, apart, or asunder. So, disappointment describes a feeling of dissatisfaction or anguish, which is experienced when we are torn apart from our expected appointment with whatever it is we thought was happening or was going to happen.

All of us have hopes and dreams big and small. I believe that's a God-thing. His Word reflects that He has designed us to be people of vision (Proverbs 29:18). Well let me tell you, I have visions. I have a vision of writing books that will change people's lives. I have a vision of what a great women's ministries looks like. I have a vision of Cold Stone Creamery's birthday cake ice cream. And I have visions of what I want to do with my "special day." There are things we all ponder about and take the time to dream. Some may seem insignificant but what's important to us is important to God.

So what takes place when we are disappointed and the book we want doesn't get published, at least fast enough? What happens when a women's ministries event has a ton of things that fall through the cracks? What happens when you get to the front of the line at Cold Stone and the girl behind the counter tells you they just got to the bottom of the pan of Birthday Cake and it will be three hours before the next pan is ready? What happens when what you planned on doing on your birthday, which is actually very simple, becomes the impossible? I'll tell you exactly what happens - it's in the Bible. Proverbs 13 tells us that "hope deferred makes the heart sick."

I have found that stuff happens on a regular basis that disappoints. It's that way in everybody's life - none of us are exempt. Into everyone's life a little rain must fall. Or as the Bible says, "it rains on the just and the unjust." It doesn't matter how spiritual you are, the Hampton Inn will occasionally run of biscuits and gravy. And at that point, you will have to have a coping mechanism in place. (I'm only half kidding! LOL)

Since we can count on disappointments coming, we need to count on joy coming too. So, since I'm a little down tonight that what I longed for just isn't going to happen, I'm going to preach to myself a little bit tonight (remember the Bible says that David encouraged himself...) and list some ways to not just count it all joy, but to count on joy. Disappointments happen without you scheduling them, but I've found you absolutely CAN schedule joy. Joy is an attitude, a fruit, it is also found in choosing to do other things that bring you joy. If you plan for it, it will come.

Les Brown once said, "If life doesn't give you the circumstances you want, create them." Alright, so here I go. I'm creating joy.

1) I'm going to rest (PJ day) for one whole day at my very next opportunity. No guilt attached.

2) I'm going to call a friend in the middle of the day and stay on the phone at least an hour. We're going to laugh about things and not keep track of the time.

3) I'm going to read something fun all by myself in total silence for at least 30 minutes.

4) I'm going to take a long bath.

5) I'm going to turn my cell phone OFF. Not down. Not on vibrate. OFF.

6) I'm going to meet a friend for breakfast.

7) I'm going to turn on disco music very loudly in my room and dance.

8) I'm going to let the dishes pile up one night this week and act like they don't exist.

9) I'm going to go back and watch the last episode of Last Comic Standing that we Tivo'd.

10) I'm taking charge of joy in my life. Disappointments can momentarily slow us down, but we can determine to press forward with and take advantage of a "pop" of joy at the very next opportunity. I'm starting tonight with a long bath...while I drink vanilla tea and listen to a Fernando Ortega CD.

p.s. After I posted this, I was reading something by Dallas Willard that said this: ""First we must accept the circustances we constantly find ourselves in as the place of God's kingdom and blessing. God has yet to bless anyone except where they actually are, and if we faithlessly discard situation after situation, moment after moment as not being 'right' we will simply have no place to receive his kingdom into our life. for those situations and moments are our life." Help me Lord, not to discard any moment, but to find joy in every second of every day no matter whether it's the exact spot I long to be in or not. You are there. And in You, I find joy.

It shouldn't take courage

"Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible." T.E. Lawrence

Right now the fellowship that I am a part of (the A/G) is at a crossroads. Many general council positions including the very top one (GS) are up for election and there is a buzz all around about it. I've blogged the past year about completely de-politicizing (is that a word?) myself. And truly, I have. I have been stripped of all desire to be immersed in the political scene, (sectional, district or national) nor do I care what may happen as a result of me expressing my view. (I have nothing to lose. I happen to be credentialed with the A/G, however my church and my writing are the focus of my ministry life, not "the district" or "Springfield.") My life is my family, my church, my friends, and my writing and speaking ministry. If people think I'm forthright, driven, or even a %#@&^ for being a strong leader, so be it! (Yes, I've actually heard male ministers call various women in ministry that curse word, just for being...strong women of God! It's amazing that what men are lauded for (being driven, motivated, strong, forthright, competitive, among other things) - women are often villified for and assumed, "out of their role." Oh what people need to learn as far as a biblical understanding of this. (A good place to start is with the Christians for Biblical Equality website and ministry...they'll break it down for you.)

Depite my being de-politicized, I have been interested in dialogue on the issues at hand, such as the fundamentals of our faith and the core values our fellowship holds and has held from our inception. While constitutions, bylaws, voting or district or general council positions are not a focus of my life, beliefs and values ARE. Please understand, I love our fellowship. I've been a part of it all my life. I'm loyal to it, but don't want to get caught up in the politics of it.

But once again, I just couldn't stay silent. (Thank God I'm married to somebody who understands that!) Right now there's a blog that's pretty popular about the future of the A/G as regards this election. I was content to be a silent lurker and just peek in on what was happening...until they raised the women in ministry issue. When a man who is not unabashedly egalitarian and holds the view that women are not acceptable for leadership positions to the highest levels within the A/G or the church is being seriously considered for our top leadership position- that's when I had to step up to the plate and put in my $.02. I believe every voice makes a difference. I know I speak for a lot of women in ministry and their feelings on this issue -- however, the problem is that many of them won't say it, at least say it and sign their names to it. Because they do feel like they still have something to lose. (Give them 20 years, and like me they might change their minds.) Perhaps they do fear repercussions, and unfortunately they may have even married someone who tries to control them, (at least to an extent), and doesn't give them their blessing of verbalizing strong feelings about one's core values. Thankfully, I'm in the position of not having to worry about any of the three of those things. I am so glad I made a choice to marry someone who realizes although we are one flesh, I still have a brain and heart of my own. There are times that what I am hearing and digesting with my mind and then feeling in my heart is overwhelming. So I opened my big mouth. Not once, not twice, but more than that, in this debate that is ongoing.

And it's amazing. The majority of the people on the blog agree with my sentiments, (male credential holders included) but it's amazing how much feedback I've gotten off of that blog by people who contacted me privately by email and said, "thanks for stepping up and saying that." One person wrote and said, "Thank you so much for your courageous posts...you'll never know how much I appreciate it." I said what they evidently wanted to say, but for some reason didn't feel they could.

Why is this viewed as so courageous? It bothers me quite frankly that so many view a woman speaking her mind as courageous. It shouldn't take "courage" to speak the passion of our hearts, especially on such a biblically based value. But, because half of God's army has been silenced for so long, it is viewed as such. I do not view it as courageous, but simply the right thing to do. Edmund Burke once said, "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Here's my Deanna paraphrase on this issue: "All that is necessary for gender or racial prejudice to triumph is for good people to do nothing." How can we stay silent?

Many people were backing this man in question, (who hundreds of people have voted for in the unofficial blog straw poll...) stating that his view that he holds would not affect his decisions in leadership should he be voted in. WHAT??!! Impossible. How can such a person uphold, defend, promote and celebrate that which he doesn't believe in within our fellowship? The answer is, he would not. Therefore, electing him would be a huge step back. Because he has built a super mega church some are ready to crown him king of the A/G. I don't care if he has a zillion people in his church, if he's not in keeping with our core value of women being able to ascend to the highest levels of leadership in the church and the fellowship, he's not the best. Talking about "to what depth" a person deals with gender prejudice is like talking about to what degree some dog poop in a pan of brownies would be too much. Any is too much.

"What if he's God's choice?" some say. Well, since I believe God is 100% for gender and racial equality at every level of leadership I do not believe God would choose a person to head an organization, especially one that since it's inception has stood for this core value.

"But he's such a man of prayer..." some say. Well, I'm sure John MacArthur, Mark Driscoll and John Piper are also great men of prayer but we wouldn't be asking any of them to lead the A/G or I certainly hope not. (Egads!)

It shouldn't take courage for women to step up and say how they feel any more than it would take courage for a black or hispanic person to say how they feel. Amazing when you put it in those terms. Seems appalling in today's day and age (and it is!!!) to insinuate that a person of color should not speak about something, yet many believe it is acceptable to believe this about women. And (gasp!) I did not even ask Larry's permission before I stated my feelings. Amazing!

Larry finds it amusing that I do get involved sometimes in dialogue like this with people because he believes it does no good although he doesn't try to hinder me in saying what I feel I must. I'm not only a dreamer that things can be better, but I feel like if I can be any kind of help (even just a small candle brings amazing light to the darkness) in making things better, I should. I know maybe I'm just a peon, but where would America be today if Rosa Parks didn't refuse to go to the back of the bus? Somebody's gotta speak up. (Please don't misunderstand, I'm no Rosa Parks, my point is simply - we all should realize that we never know if we will be the one to make that significant difference, so we need to seize the opportunity.)

Imagine with me a world in which it would never again be perceived as courageous for a woman to speak her mind. Just imagine...

I for one, believe the day will come. But it won't happen by us just staying silent or in the "boxes" (as Pastor Tara puts it) or the roles that people have placed us in. I refuse to get in a box or stay in one. I will continue to imagine. I will continue to speak. I thank God for my "courageous sisters" like Pastor Tara, Pastor Leanne, Pastor Andrea and so many more who will put their reputations on the line to speak up...and have. (Pastor Andrea calls me her 'CBE Friend' - in fact would you believe she gave me a CBE Christmas ornament? Okay, now you KNOW you've gotta feel strongly about something when you are hanging it on your Christmas tree.) LOL!!!

There are people who have been leading women like us in imagining this for a long time. CBE -- Christians for Biblical Equality, is an amazing organization. I encourage you to check out their stuff, especially their free articles!! And also check out the Assemblies of God Women in Ministry and ministry department which is led by some incredibly courageous women.

The really courageous ones aren't people like me who post something on a blog in 2007. Those who are truly courageous are those who paved the way over these many years for us to be doing what we're doing now. They plowed the way and now it's up to my generation to plow the way for the next one.

Martin Luther King said in his famous speech, "I have a dream..." Well so do I. I have a dream that one day our girls will not be expected to play by a different set of rules than men do. Honestly, God's expectation has never been that we play by different rules, but for some reason our culture has made it not only acceptable but passed it off as a Biblical mandate. Because people do not know their bibles well enough they have looked to text books, Christian psychology books, and famous preachers to tell them what they believe about equality rather than look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. He's declared His mandate on equality in His rule book. (The Bible)

I have a dream that Galatians 3:28 will be reality in all of our churches and our fellowship. We have to let our girls know, they can never stop dreaming...never stop imagining...

Sleep in Saturday

Today is "sleep in Saturday" and although I normally do sleep in on Saturday it's always a work day for me, with very rare exceptions. From the time I wake up I am usually going non-stop on both church work, and home work. No matter how much I work during the week, the finishing touches are never on for Sunday until late Saturday night. (And I'm an organized person. Working on Saturday is not due to slacking, it's just due to my workload and wanting everything to be just right.)

I slept in this morning and would have kept going longer but my sister called from Baltimore telling me she was at a store and found an adorable knock off Prada purse that was pink and white and wanted to know if I wanted it. Hello...is the pope Catholic??!!

A purse. Now there's a good reason to be woke up! Last night, I prepped my special sweet roll recipe for the kids (and us too, but they are the ones who are most ga-ga over them) and they have to sit all night covered up and you bake them in the morning. Larry got out of bed while I was talking to Kim and put the rolls in the oven. It was nice to just check my mail and eat my breakfast in bed. :-) Although I find myself working hard most Saturdays, at least it's a day where I can drink my tea in bed and move a little slower, and take a long bath instead of a quick shower.

Once my day really got started it was time to get up, clean the entire house, make some phone calls for Sunday that I had yet to make, get all the clothes ironed, wash two loads of clothes, start dinner (my kids favorite - my pot roast), rehearse my special music number for in the morning, edit my women's class teaching one more time and print it out for tomorrow, set my initiative list for Monday and print out, get things lined up for our "Bridges" home fellowship group here at the house tomorrow night, and a bunch of other stuff it would take way too long to detail here. I planned on weeding (my least favorite chore. I loathe it.) but just ran out of time. I guess I'll tackle that Monday night after work. It was so nice to get to the end of it all and just be able to have my quiet time with the Lord, read the Word, Secrets of the Secret Place, Come Away My Beloved, and ask for God's insight and blessing for tomorrow. One thing is for sure, nothing significant will happen without Him.

At 8 pm tonight Savanna came out and showed me what she was wearing to church tomorrow. She had no shoes to go with it. Upon bringing all of her shoes out to show me I discovered she has outgrown them all again. (And I just bought her two pairs a month ago.) She can now wear MY shoes. I can't believe it. She's growing so much. Larry had to run off to Bealls and get her a pair of shoes to wear in the morning because literally her foot was hanging over the edge in her current shoes. I would have taken her but I was all grubby from cleaning. It's hard to face reality sometimes that the kids are growing up so fast.

Fun Friday!

Today is our day off...and for those who are reading my blog for the first time, let me clue you in as to what fun Friday is all about. I treasure our day off. My husband and I both do. We try to not let anything interfere with it, and at least half the time we succeed. During times we don't succeed, we do something to make up for it.

It's very difficult, especially with kids our kids ages not to have something church related to take care of even if it as simple as dropping them off or picking them up for an activity and thereby having at least a 30 minute conversation with somebody in the church parking lot. To other parents, it's just a friendly conversation but for us, it can often turn into just another day at the office, with people stopping to ask, "hey, did my curriculum come in up at the office building?" or "Can I talk to you for a minute...something happened this past week..." and it's never just a minute...in fact usually it's at least 30 or 40. In trying to have our true day off I have sometimes dropped my kids off at Sunset Market next door and let them walk over to the church but when they have things to load or unload it's hard. (not that I don't love people, I just want a break at least for a few hours a week.) Everybody needs a sabbath. With that said...

Friday is our "date" day - at least our official one. We have another date many times during the week, but Fridays are a definite date. Larry and I just love to spend time together and we don't tire of it. We usually go to lunch or breakfast, or we'll sleep in until noon. The best time is when the kids are in school but even in the summer we still treasure Fridays though we are not given as much time with the house to ourselves. We've learned the importance of constantly not just giving maintenance to our relationship but doing things to help us grow. Many marriages "grow apart" and the reason is, the couple is not growing together. We can grow as people, as individuals but a couple must also grow in their relationship together and learn constantly. The only way that happens is through a lot of time together. It doesn't have to be something extravagant, in fact sometimes it's as simple as laying there together close watching a movie or taking a walk. The important thing is to stay close, and keep growing in relationship together. Fridays are an important key for us in making that happen.

On Fridays we go out somewhere together - anywhere from lunch to consignment stores (my favorite), to Home Depot, to taking a walk, going to the beach, or meeting up with our friends who are couples in ministry to spend time together. Fridays are a rejuvenation time....a day to refuel. Sometimes (at least twice a year) I just have "PJ day" where I don't get dressed and stay in jammies all day. That's when I'm really fried and just need special rest. As my family knows well, after work I'm usually in pajamas too, or sometimes my customary home uniform (t-shirt and underwear)...which is why I tell people in the church not to drop in on me unannounced. I truly LIVE and relax in my home. I invite people over all the time and extend hospitality constantly but aside from invites, it's not a good idea to drop in.

So today we got up early and Larry went and picked up the rental car. We took Dustin over to the Teen Driver Challenge program where he spent many hours today driving with his very own personal police officer. He actually LOVED it. He wouldn't admit it to me but he did privately admit it to his Dad. He had a blast. He feels so much more confident. Larry said, "why don't you tell your Mom that?" He said, "because when I don't let her know that I'm not really mad anymore she sometimes softens up and buys me something." (Is that true? Well, I kinda think it might be because right when he was saying that to me I was out at the grocery store getting the ingredients for the sweet rolls he loves to make them for him in the morning...I guess I really do that to a degree. When I know we've had a blow out and I've stuck to my guns on something and been hard line on it, I try to balance it out with a little extra love on the other hand...) But anyhoo, Dustin did great and I can tell he is so glad he went. Now he will also get an extra percentage off his car insurance for having taken the course.


After Lar and I dropped him off we went to breakfast at "The Breakfast Nook" - a very quaint place here in Tampa. We sat there and tried our best not to talk shop, but we inevitably sometimes do although we always make a practice not to discuss anything stressful, just good stuff. Today we talked about the principles in the book, "Go Big" which I just got Larry...it's by Bill Easum and Bil Cornelius. It's an incredible book about church growth/ministry. I heard about it from another blogger, immediately ordered it and haven't been sorry. We have gotten so much from it. So we sat there and discussed what we're discovering through that, and just personal good stuff.

Then we went and looked at cars again. I test drove a Sebring Convertible and absolutely loved it. That could sway me from a Mustang, perhaps. It's the only thing that came close, at all. It was a great car - but it was from Carmax, and honestly I don't like Carmax because there is no negotiation and after all, my beloved is the master of negotiation and usually comes out of the deal incredibly on top. He's walked out of a dealership before leaving the dealer literally having made only pennies. It's amazing the deals he's able to swing and how far he's able to talk them down. (He starts to walk out about 5 or 6 times, AT LEAST and won't hesitate to leave - and has. He always realizes there's another car available and if he can't talk them all the way down on this one he'll talk somebody else down to rock bottom.) When we came home he found what looks like a good deal on a Mustang at Brandon Ford. Since it was after hours he e-mailed them to call him first thing in the morning to talk about it and see if they still have it and we'll go take a look. The one at Ernie Haaire wasn't my cup of tea - I went and looked at it today. It was silver but an ugly silver- like a dark smoky silver and the top wasn't at all complimentary to it. Then they had a red one but IMHO it had too many miles on it for the price. So we'll see. We're not at all in a rush so the beauty of it is, we can just take our time and make a wise decision.

We picked the kids up from camp and they came home and took naps while I worked on the house. Larry made dinner tonight and Stephen came back. (yeah!) His sister emailed me last night and said how much she misses him. But when he leaves here we miss him too. So he was here for supper and we watched Lost with Dustin, (which he is now addicted to), bringing our whole family into unity as official LOST fans. The kids went to the youth group discipleship meeting tonight and Larry and I headed out with Savanna to get stuff for Britney's birthday gift tomorrow and then for me to get stuff for Sunday night's home group meeting. I know it's my "day off" but the fact is, I don't feel like getting it tomorrow.

The kids will probably watch LOST late into the night and that's fine with me because pretty soon Larry and I are going to cap the night off by getting into our own little world in the big tub with all the candles lit. And that, my friends will be a spectacular ending to a 'fun friday'!

B.O.O.M.! Savanna's reflections from Kids Camp

My daughter, Savanna came back from Kids Camp today. We were blessed to have a load of our Northside kids there along with our children's pastor and helpers. (Jordan also went to work Rec Staff - which he greatly enjoyed.) I've been sitting here asking Savanna her impressions from camp. In case any of you don't know, I'm a huge fan of KIDS CAMP and YOUTH CAMP. Perhaps there is nothing more life changing in the lives of our young people. I once heard something like 90% of our pastors and missionaries receive a call from God at camp. We never ever let our kids miss camp, nor do they want to. When they get back I can hardly wait to hear what happened!! (Now that I don't go to camp anymore and truthfully I kinda miss those days of being a YP!) Anyway, she was sharing all of it with me and so I thought I'd let her share them with you. Here they are, from her in her words... (I'm just typing as she talks...)

The theme of kids camp this week was "Boom!" This stands for:

Be ready

Obey

On Fire

Mission

Be ready means to be ready for when Jesus comes back...make sure you are ready to go with Him.

Obey means to obey your elders and Jesus.

On fire means to be on fire for Jesus.

and Mission means to accept your mission that God gives you.

I really enjoyed Go-Kart racing. The crafts were fun.

God also told people what they are going to be when they grow up and He filled people with the Holy Spirit. Praise and worship was good. Pastor Billy, when the kids got mail would make fun of it. He was so funny. He said to the ones that didn't have stamps, "oooh, this one doesn't have a stamp," and then he would drop it on the floor and stamp on it!

Pastor Trinity covered Jordan in chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup and Rice Krispies cereal. He did that because he was telling us about the Good Samaritan and that was supposed to be the blood, the oil and the wine. It was really cool.

The food at camp was really good and Pastor Billy would name endangered animals and say that that is what we were eating. He said that about pigeons or something like that I think.

We were all having a Skittle fight on the way there. We lost Chelsea's sleeping bag and pillow so we had to stop at Wal-Mart. Pastor T didn't seem upset though, I think he thought it was kind of funny. We were kidding around that the stuff fell out, but it really did. Then he put the top on because he didn't want anything else to fall out of the trailer.

There was a girl in our room from another church and she had never been to camp before. She looked like LilyBet off of The Last Sin Eater, and I'm not even kidding.

Also, Dana who went with our church had never eaten a pancake before. Can you believe that?

All the girls thought Jordan was cute. At the pool they tried to cling on to him but he would go underwater and hold his breath and then me and Shelby would protect him from the girls. We protected him during the shaving cream fight. The girls were like crazy maniacs with Jordan. They asked me how old he was and stuff. I told them he was 17 because I kept forgetting he is 16.

All in all I had a terrific time.

Okay, I'm back. Can you see why every kid should go to camp? I hope you are convinced. I sure am.

I made the list!

I never cease to be amazed at the women who tell me they are blessed through the ministry of Pastoring Partners, and tell me their lives have been changed. Today I made the distinguished list of "People who are an inspiration to me" by Lady Melissa Sutton, co-pastor and first lady of House of God International Ministries in Clearwater, Florida. Lady Sutton has been one of those special ladies that God led to the website years ago, that I was able to, (and continue to) minister to via this avenue of ministry.

Lady Sutton is one of the many women around the world that I know online through pastoring partners, but not in person...yet. She's coming to the Unstoppable Conference in September, and I can hardly wait! This is going to be a bit like heaven. I am going to see some people I haven't seen in a long time (like Pastor Tara) and meet some people I've been talking to for a long time but just haven't had a face to face with.

Thank you, Lady Sutton, for honoring me. I'm honored to know you and have a small part in giving you hope for the journey as you minister His Word to your precious people.

Friday's Feast

www.fridaysfeast.com

Appetizer

Describe a toy you remember from your childhood. My first toy that I remember is one of the little "popper" toys with all the balls in it, that you push. I remember pushing it down the hallway and running with it.

Soup

On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest) how observant are you? Depends what it is. When dealing with people or things written, extremely observant. However if I were sitting in front of a baseball game, I wouldn't be the least bit observant.

Salad

Where would you rather be at this very moment? No where but right here where I'm at. There's no place like home, and no place like this comfy bed I'm in right now...on my day off. :-)

Main Course

When was the last time you learned something new? I try not to let a day go by without learning something new. When you stop learning, you stop growing. This week I'm reading in I Chronicles. God is teaching me things through the life of Saul. I don't want to make the same mistakes he made.

Dessert

Fill in the blank: I have ____________ but I haven’t ____________. I have smoked pot, but I haven't inhaled. NO, just kidding!!!!! Seriously, let's see... I have had challenges, but I haven't given up.

Courageous Parenting

The past month Larry and I have been bringing a series of messages on "Courageous Parenting." Through this we have been sharing the Biblical values we hold about this subject in our household and also hard lessons learned.

One thing I believe strongly is that as parents we're called to be just that - parents, not pals. Our kids have plenty of pals, but only two parents, and as such we need to be courageous and take the unpopular stand at times.

As everyone knows, Dustin totaled my car 2 months ago. Since then he hasn't driven, mostly because there's nothing for him to drive! Larry and I share one car and that takes it up 100% of the time and then some. But before we get another car or he gets one of his own, I was determined that he needed some help. Mind you, he wasn't reckless when he had the accident (only going 24 mph but it was raining and he hydroplaned and panicked.) Part of this is the fact that he was a young, inexperienced driver. I have come to realize since then that 63% of all kids wreck their parents cars in their first year of driving. I got that stat from the Sheriff's dept., by the way.

Anyway...I was praying about what to do. Dustin already took Driver's Ed in high school and passed, and he had hours of practice with his Dad, me and his Grandfather. I was really at a loss as to the next step. But there had to be one. Even Pastor T said that he could see, he simply wasn't ready for driving. We had done all we knew to do. As everyone should know by now, I'm a praying mother. In fact, I was praying for Dustin all the days leading up to the accident. I was angry when he had it, being that I prayed everyday. Why did God still allow this when so many prayers went up day after day? I was pretty steamed with God until Rosemay told me three teens were in an accident on the same road and died. Dustin only had a sprain. I have so much to be grateful for. Well, back to prayer...

I was at a loss as to what the next step was. One day a few weeks ago I was watching TV and a commercial came on for something called "Teen Driver Challenge". It's a brand new 2-month old program done by the Sheriff's Dept. It's not a driver's ed course, but a special 2 day course for defensive driving only. It is a "next level" course, both in the classroom and several hours of one on one help actually practicing with an officer in the car with the student. At the end the students receive a special certificate and can even get a percentage off of insurance having proven that they took the course. The officers teach the students what to do when hydroplaning, in inclement weather, when a car is coming at you the wrong way,etc. They put them in difficult situations and help them get out safely. This is an incredible thing, in my opinion. I immediately felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit and called the Sheriff's department and signed him up. The classes started today and he'll be there all day tomorrow as well, driving with an officer.

He was so ticked off at me for putting him in this course, I can't even describe to you how much. When I told him he got angry, yelled, and slammed the door and left. I instantly commanded him back into the room and gave him a talking to. Evidently he forgot that the night he wrecked the car he said, "Momma, I'll do ANYTHING to make this up to you." So far, I've asked him for nothing in fact his Daddy and I haven't even brought up to him once the fact that he even wrecked the car, in the last two months. We simply told him he would have to take responsibility and pay for the damages. But we did not scold him about the accident because truly it was not intentional. However, now it was time to say something, since the attitude was occuring. We said, "Son, in case you don't remember...you totaled a car. You said you'd do anything to make restitution for this. This is our "anything", and really...it's nothing! You're getting off easy. We could have knocked you from here to Japan for wrecking that Mustang, so put on a happy face and deal with it." He still wasn't real happy - went to his room and sulked. But it's like this - I've learned big lessons about this through hard years of experience in both the home and the church. You see, when you are a pastor, you are not only a parent to natural children (if you have them) but you also function as a spiritual parent. Much of the same principles apply. Just thought I would throw that in for your pastors and pw's who are reading, free of charge. LOL

As a natural parent, and as a spiritual parent in the church - when I or Larry make a decision, sometimes our natural or spiritual children sulk - but it's important we take our stand no matter how much they do. What's right is right. I think the problem with too many parents is that they can't endure sulking or even blow ups. The fact of the matter is, it's part of the territory of parenting kids or a church.

So he didn't exactly put on a happy face, even today he was still peeved with me and went dragging in there to class today when I dropped him off, but when he came out I could tell he didn't think it was so bad. In fact, deep down I think he actually might have enjoyed it, he just doesn't want to admit it to me. And that's okay. I don't care that he admits that I'm right, I just want him to get the help he needs. (Another mark of effective parenting in both the home and the church: your children may never admit that you're right - but your goal is not to be right, it's to see them flourish, even if you never get a 'you were right' or a 'thank you.'" Our reward is the satisfaction of knowing we did the right thing. The fact of the matter is - parenting our kids and parenting a church is HARD work.)

I know he felt like we were sending him as a punishment but I explained that it's not so, in fact it's because we care and want to help him. I see this class as an answer to prayer. I think he also thought it was for "bad kids" who drink and drive or something. Not true. Although, tomorrow they will be putting what they call "beer goggles" on him, and having him drive around and see for himself how bad it would be (how impaired he would be) if he chose to drink and drive. I think that's a great idea. Although Dustin doesn't drink or have desire to, I think it's just great knowledge to have. And I hope this has great impact on the other kids who take this course as well. I explained to him, the class is actually preventative maintenance and should be taken before kids wreck, only in his case I never knew about it til now. I think he also feared what it was going to be like -- he didn't know anyone or know what he was in for. When he got there his class only had six students, and besides that there was one girl he found absolutely adorable. I said, "is she saved?" (he doesn't know yet)

I reminded him, his Dad and I cared enough about doing this for him that we rented a car for tomorrow. We still don't have a car and he needs to take ours to drive tomorrow at the class, and we need a car, so we rented one just for the weekend. I explained to him if I were trying to punish him I would not be renting a car for the weekend and going to all this trouble.

I think he's got a much better attitude now. But even if he didn't, he'd still be getting his butt to that class. Because as I told the church last night in our message, we all get mad at God, our Father. There are times we are so mad at what He decides for us. But don't we get over it? Yes, we do. We eventually do. And we realize it was best for us. There are times my kids momentarily hate me. They rail against me for what I decide, but ultimately it was what they needed. This was one of those times. But that's what courageous parenting is all about.

p.s. If any of you parents in Pasco County want to put your teens in the program, e-mail Cpt. Dan Olds at DOlds@PascoSheriff.org to sign up. I highly recommend it and plan on my other two children taking the course as well before another one of my cars goes to be with Jesus.

Why call them pastor?

My friend, Pastor Leanne Weber, (who serves as an A/G children's pastor in Wisconsin) has an excellent and thought provoking post today about why people call evangelists (whether famous or not) "pastor" when they refer to them from the pulpit or as they address them in person or whatever. (And how much it irritates her!) I agreed completely with her. The person that God has ordained to set the pace for the church are the senior pastors, and that's that -not anyone else, and certainly not somebody on TV.

I know it has really irritated me when I advise someone in the church and they ignore my counsel and tell me they heard this or that on Joyce Meyer and this is the direction they are heading. (Joyce is a great example because, I'm 100% crazy about her. She's honestly never said something I've ever disagreed with, yet. I believe she's an incredibly wise and anointed woman.) But the reality of it is, she's not the pastor of our church - my husband and I fulfill that role and when we speak into someone's life, we do so knowing them personally and the background of their situation.

One time a woman in the church came to me for advice and knowing her situation fully, I spoke into her life and gave her biblical guidance. According to scripture and what was going on in her household, she definitely SHOULD NOT have done the thing she wanted to do. Well, a few days later she was watching Joyce Meyer and I don't know what Joyce was talking about but she pointed to the camera and said, "someone out there needs to hear this...go forth and take a step and do that which you are feeling led to do..." and this woman in my church took that as "a word" or a confirmation for them. Of course Joyce Meyer never intended that, and had absolutely nothing to do with the woman's situation. But it really irritated me so I told the woman, "the next time you have a problem...give Joyce a call." It will be interesting to see just how soon Joyce Meyer returns her call. Of course she won't because she knows her calling well - she's an evangelist and not a pastor nor does she refer to herself as one.

Whether people refer to what TD Jakes said, (crazy about him too!), Joyce Meyer, or some visiting local speaker said, and decide to poo-poo or disrespect my exhortation to them in favor of going with what they read in some book or saw on TV, it's just inappropriate and disrespectful. Read Leanne's post here. Good word. It was so thought provoking to me I decided to share it with all of you who read my blog.

Pray that women become UNSTOPPABLE!

Right now we are preparing for the "Unstoppable" Women in Ministry Conference here in Tampa, hosted by myself and my associate, Pastor Lindsay. I blogged about this in the past here. We have four other incredible women of God who are joining with us in speaking and worship leading for the weekend at the Hilton Garden Inn, (September 13-15). What happens in the lives of those attending is going to be amazing. This is not going to be a retreat where we talk about menopause or how to make a craft in four easy steps. We're dealing with life-changing ministry issues here, not just the "change of life." (lol)

Which brings me to a pet peeve...some friends who have asked me to host this in the past, but aren't coming. The other day I took the time to call 40 women friends or colleagues. Why? Because I care. Many are coming to Unstoppable, and in fact this isn't just a Florida thing, but quite a number of women in ministry are flying in across the country for Unstoppable. But some of the very people who said, "I so desperately need something like this. Have you thought about hosting something?" aren't coming. Why? Two reasons, I've heard. Although they say, "it sounds incredible and I wish I could be there," they say:,

1) "I can't get away from the church right now...they need me for this, they need me for that..."

2) The church, or "we" (meaning they personally) are tight financially right now.

Years ago I was in this same boat. I put everyone and everything before myself. And where did it get me? Working 60-70 hours a week, (90 sometimes around Easter/Christmas and stuff like that), living on latte and Hershey bars, 40 lbs. overweight, and out of control. I tried so hard to be what everyone else needed but inside was falling apart. Then a few years ago I said, "NO MORE!" I decided to be a friend to myself. I recently read a quote: “To live unfaithfully to yourself is to do others great damage.” I realized, I was not doing my husband, my kids, my church or my friends any favors by not investing in myself and giving them everything. I read an article by Bill Hybels that said we need to spend 50% of our time LEADING OURSELVES.

Self leadership has become incredibly important to me in the past several years and I'm a different person now as a result of it. Things like riding my bike and walking are important to me. Even when things are terribly busy with the church, and Joy calls me and says, "Do you and Larry want to meet Keith and I half way for dinner tonight?" I'll drop everything and go. Why? Because I know I'm going to be a better person for it. The work that I'm coming back to will be done better because I have been enriched and refreshed by spending time with my friends in ministry.

My weight watcher leader always tells us, "don't break self promises." Many women in ministry say, "I'm going to start doing something for myself..." but another day comes and they aren't any different. They stay on the same merry go round they have been on for years and at some point, they're going to crack.

When people don't come to something, you often hear, "well, God has the people here that he wants here...it's not all about numbers..." and I agree with that - I am not all about numbers either. But why do I say what I've said here? Simply because I care about women and I don't want to see another casualty. Not a month goes by where I don't hear about somebody dropping off the scene and I get so sick of it. It doesn't have to happen. Pastor's wives don't have to get in the car, start driving, and never come back. This is why I sat down and took time to call 40 friends. (I know, some of you are wondering, "does she really have 40 close friends? Please understand by this statement, I am not talking 40 close intimate friends, but 40 people who I am associated with in ministry, in my network, that I at least occasionally do ministry with, see at functions, etc.) And honestly I'll probably pick up the phone again and call 20 oor 30 more before this is over. Why? Anybody who knows me knows I don't like talking on the phone (I'm an e-mail person or an "in person" person). But it's like this - I really honestly have a heart for women who are serving in ministry. I have a passion to encourage them and to connect them with each other.

That connection is so important. It's not about connecting them with "me", it's about connecting them with a woman or a few women in ministry who can be that support system for them. Yes, we all have Jesus, obviously. But sometimes you just need someone "with skin on" as they say, to walk beside you, put an arm around you and say, "you can do this". Or sometimes you need somebody to hold you while you cry because you are hurting over something in the church but you can't talk to anyone about it inside the church. Or sometimes you just need to go out for coffee or to the movies with somebody you can start talking to and not wonder, "is what I'm saying right now going to come back to bite me one day?"

I'm trying to give people a place to find these type of connections. I've done pastoring partners (http://www.pastoringpartners.com/) since 1998 and that has been great, but I long to have a face to face connection. For years now I have made it a priority to get together with other women in ministry myself, but I realize a lot of people don't. They don't know what they are missing!!! With Unstoppable, I hope to let them see what they are missing, and get them connected.

I believe if women really want to come God will make a way. Often, he makes a way through our will! Yesterday I was talking to Pastor Jenn and she said, "Money's not an excuse. If they want to come, they can sell hot dogs at the church and raise the money!" I know that sounds funny to some of you, but where there's a will there's a way. (For the record, Jenn and I have both sold hot dogs to do things we wanted to do but didn't have money for personally or in the church account. In fact, Jenn herself raised $200 in one Sunday on hotdogs. Both of us have been in ministry quite a while now and we're still not beyond this. I know most look at Jenn Lee as a classy woman (she is) who has it all together and doesn't have a care or a need in the world, but even she had to sell hotdogs to do what she wanted to do in ministry. When we are passionate about something, we'll do it no matter what we have to do. I have no shame when it comes to achieving God-given desires or dreams. Right now I'm wanting to achieve a dream at the church that we just don't have money for at this time and I'm thinking about selling S'mores as people are coming out the doors of the church. No kidding. Stop laughing.)

One pastor I know felt like he and his wife were on the brink of a marriage breakdown. They had no money, but in desperation for his marriage, he charged a vacation getaway for the two of them on his credit card. The time they spent saved their marriage. They paid on that credit card for a while but at least they aren't divorced! I really believe, we have to do what it takes to invest in ourselves because truly no one is standing in line to do it for us and if I had to sell hot dogs, smores, or put it on my credit card, I would.

If you're reading this...pray for us! I say "us" because it's not about me. Our speaker team is radically committed to this. Obviously Lindsay is committed to this, or I wouldn't have asked her to help me in doing this. Aside from her and I, we have some of my friends ~ Pastor Jenn Lee (co-pastor of First Assembly's Church on the Ridge, Frostproof), Pastor Sandy Phinazee (co-pastor at First Assembly of God, Callahan), Pastor Sheri Hawley (co-pastor at Garden Grove Assembly of God, Winter Haven) and Pastor Andrea Fruscella (co-pastor of First Coast Christian Center, Jacksonville). These women are one with me in heart and soul about this conference and are encouraging women in their network of friends about it. Andrea is so passionate about it, she's driving to certain pastor's wives homes who have "given up" of sorts (people who have dropped off the scene) and she's personally going to talk to them and encourage them to come. I really believe this is some women's divine appointment who are getting ready to become a tragedy should a miracle not take place. I believe in miracles and I know some are going to take place that weekend. If you're reading this, pray with us women of God who are standing in the gap right now and fasting and praying for the women who will attend Unstoppable and those who need to attend who are struggling with investing in themselves right now. I so desperately want them to be truly "Unstoppable" in life and in ministry.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Mindless Surveys and Why I Like Them

Accomplished a ton of work today both at the office for a few hours and also on the road. Had a meeting today, and connected with Pastor Jenn Lee for lunch. I'm crazy about that woman! We have so much in common it's ridiculous right down to a love for Mustangs. (She just got a Mustang convertible last week...) I so much enjoy talking with women who share my passion for ministry...for co-pastoring, for dream chasing, for worship. She's one of those people. I really wished I could stay at lunch forever but had to get back...

Speaking of Mustangs, Ernie Haaire Ford called tonight while I was at church and left a message that they have a silver Mustang they want me to come over and take a look at.

Tonight we finished our Courageous Parenting series in the Wednesday night adult service. What a great series this has been. Larry and I normally take turns preaching every other Wednesday night and this works great for us. This month though, we tag teamed every message and then did a Q & A at the end of the service. I think we have gotten more feedback (all good) from this series more than any other. After service, Larry and I decided to take Dustin out for a bite to eat, just the three of us. We so rarely get this time just with us three and with the other two kids at camp it was possible. We have a good time talking with him as he's on such a different level now as he's growing up. Amazing some of the insight he has and I enjoy so much his passion for reaching his unchurched friends and talking about it with him. Stephen came over to spend the night tonight, and it's good to have him, "our third son" back in the house again. He's been gone for 2 days. We're starting to go through Stephen withdrawals. We really miss him when he's not here. Just as I do stuff for my 3 kids, so I also do for Stephen, everything from make him sweet rolls to admonish him about something, to give him "the speech" when Larry and I leave town and the boys stay by themselves. He's used to it.

I'm tired from handling a lot of details today. I've been returning a lot of phone calls and making a lot of phone calls mainly for the Unstoppable Conference. Today I spent a major amount of time on the phone, and although I normally loathe the phone, when I'm passionate about a project I don't mind.

From time to time I really enjoy doing one of the many "surveys" circling the web, because it requires no brain power of me. I love to write but sometimes I want to do something easy, not heavily contemplative. All a survey requires of me is simply answering questions truthfully (well at least I choose to do them honestly...) After a long day when I feel like writing but not really using my head on anything serious, I do these. So here's one that came to me today:

1 .) If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be: briefcase, latte and sunglasses

2) I have an irrational fear of... having my head underwater, although it's not totally irrational IMHO, because I could drown.

3.) What type of food do you eat at your grandparents house? Nothing anymore - they are all dead. However when they were still here on earth, the most wonderful stuff imaginable. Most of all - incredible pies from both my grandmas.

4.) What weight were you when you were born? No idea.

5.) What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hate most? I'd say, "see how mad God is at you?" No, no, just kidding. First, there's no one I hate. It affects my preaching too much to hate people, not to mention my spiritual life. And since I want to one day be one of the best communicators walking the planet I try to keep stuff like that out of my life. But I do find myself having to forgive people, and let go of offenses at times. And if I was stuck with such a person, actually I'd probably spend a lot of time off to myself laying down in the sand, praying and seeking God to help us off the island, but also help us to get along while there. I would pray for a miracle, the first being forgiveness, because I believe forgiveness is a miracle in itself when accomplished.

6.) When is your next vacation planned? Not sure, still making decisions on that one...

7.) Do you stalk anyone on Myspace? No, too many people who like to talk with me that I don't have time to beg or chase somebody who doesn't.

8.) I find the thought of childbirth: extremely painful but incredibly special. I love the newborn phase. Thoroughly enjoyed my pregnancies and time immediately after delivery.

9.) My feet are: big (size 9) and improving as I get pedicures.

10.) My preferred food is: mashed potatoes

11.) Why is your 1 your 1? He's my husband, the love of my life.

12.) Know how to cook? Yes.

13.) I am annoyed with: lazy people.

14.) What is the worst way you were dumped? Not completely forthrightly - feeling something was wrong - not sure what - sensing coldness and having it evolve rather just honesty from the get go...feeling the pain, letting it go.

15.) What child-related smell do you not like? Can't really think of anything except some liver somebody cooked one time that made me want to throw up when I smelled it.

16.) What sea creature scares you? Sharks

17.) What kind of car do you have? None right now - sore subject.

18.) What object have you broken most recently? can't really think of anything recent.

19.) Name one of the Spice Girls: No idea. Not my cup of tea.

20.) What is the last thing that made you cry? preparing to go on the car lot.

21.) What are the stems on wine glasses for? Looks - they are elegant.

22.) My favorite shoes are: my black flip flops

23.) Can you use chopsticks? No.

24.) Do you prefer beaches or forests? Beaches.

25.) What serial killer do you find most disturbing? Jeffrey Dahmer

26.) Who knows a secret or two about you? Any close friend knows at least one secret as I'm a really transparent person with my close friends.

27.) Have you ever burned yourself? Yes, in fact I burned myself really bad when I was 5 years old from the waist down and was wrapped up for a couple weeks. I had first, second and third degree burns from the waist down. I remember it pretty well. I got close to the stove and toppled and entire pot of boiling chicken soup over.

28.) Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? I don't know because I'm not interested in spending any brain power, nor time on anyone who would do so. I don't wait to dignify them with so much as a moment of my thoughts if they are doing that. I have too many good friends who are crazy about me to worry about a goof who's not.

29.) Where is your brother right now? Susquehanna, PA.

30.) Do you believe in things that last forever? Yes, God's love. His Word. Us. (We all live forever somewhere. Where is the question! It's our choice.)

31.) What are you listening to right now? Nothing. I'm winding down for the day and siting here quietly. Since Savanna and Jordan are at camp and not arguing in front of me right now this is possible. What joy that they are not arguing over the computer, the remote, who's clothes are in the washer or dryer, who ate the last GoGurt. Halleluiah, the sound of silence!

32.) What do you smell like? Vanilla perfume from Bath and Body works.

33.) Are you married? Yes, and it's a good thing! Twenty years and it gets better all the time.

34.) Does anyone regularly tell you they love you? Yes, every single day. My husband tells me several times. And my kids too, especially Dustin.

35.) Do you have any bad habits? Yes, and I'm always working on them.

36.) Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? YES!!! I am a teacher really - as a pastor, but I always wanted to be a high school teacher too.

37.) What is one thing you've learned about life? Good and bad things run parralel and they often arrive at the same time. You've got to celebrate the daylights out of every good thing that happens. And..choose the right friends for the journey. They make all the difference.

38.) What is your favorite color? Pink

39.) Have you ever been stuck in an elevator? no.

40.) How many of the people in your friends list on Myspace do you actually know in real life? Every single one of them - I don't add them if I don't know them.

41.) Has anyone told you that they like you as more than a friend? Yes. I married him.

42.) What are you looking forward to? Going on my next date with Larry or away on an overnight.

43.) How are you today? Very well, thank you.

On the lot

Today after work, Larry and I went car shopping. Yes, this was my first day on a car lot again. It was interesting. I test drove a few cars, and managed not to cry. :-) I did sit in a few to test drive them and then immediately got out and said, "it's just not right, I know this isn't going to work..." and didn't bother.

I drove two Mustang GT's and a Tiburon and looked at a bunch of other cars - Mazda's, Toyotas, Nissan's, etc. We still have a lot more to look at. I keep coming back to Mustangs just because I enjoy them so much. It won't ever be the same, however I know I could enjoy one again even if I wasn't madly in love with it. It will sort of be a fling as opposed to a soul mate. :-)

We're going to look until something feels right, so we'll just keep going. I keep wondering if anything's ever going to feel right but perhaps if we just keep going, at some point we'll get a feeling, although Larry really "feels" nothing, except for when he is financially negotiating. Everyone who knows anything about my husband knows that he does get very passionate over any type of financial negotiations. He won't pay a penny more for anything than he has to. He's ruthless like that, and truthfully it's one of his strong points. He wants me to pick out a car and then he'll take me home and come back and negotiate it because truly I get embarrassed by how passionately he will haggle for the price he wants. He's ruthless. He'll stay there for eight hours if he has to (and he has) to talk them down to exactly where he wants them. One time a guy sold him a car for $100 under what the dealer paid for it. I think he just wanted to get him out of there! Aside from a financial issue, Larry just asks me how I feel. I really don't "feel" good about any particular car - I'm sort of indifferent, but about certain features, I am pretty resolute. I think I've driven a few salesmen crazy or at least given them a lot to laugh about.

'Do you like this car, mam?"

No. It's white. I don't like white cars."

"How about this one?"

"No, no power seats ..."

"Well this one has the power seats, how about it?"

"No, it's blue...sorry."

"Well, mam, exactly what colors DO you like?"

"Just four colors...silver, red, black or yellow...unless there's a pink car you have around back that I don't know about..."

[driving on 75] "how does it feel, mam?"

""too loud"

"Do you like this one?"

"no, the spoiler looks weird. I don't like how the back is shaped."

By now I'm realizing car dealers don't know what to do when somebody is on the lot who really doesn't necessarily want a car... rather than "mam" they probably wanted to call me Goldilocks.

"okay, so this isn't the car for you. What about this one over here?"

"No, I don't like the CD player."

"Is that ALL you don't like about this car, mam?"

"Yep, that's all, but it's enough."

Some car dealers had a difficult night tonight but my husband's just glad I was...on the lot.

Now that you're saved...don't steal!

Today we had a very different type of day in ministry. It was a “working day” but quite different as we were invited to go to a pastor’s day at “The Holy Land Experience” in Orlando. They invited us to come for free, tour the place, eat lunch with them and hear a special speaker. We went with Gary & Tammy, our good friends who are the pastors at Evangel A/G in Orlando. We had a really good time together, as usual. On the way to Orlando this morning I got 2 hours of work done on the computer which was probably more than I would have gotten done had I been at the office because I had no interruptions. When Larry drives and I get on the laptop, I just whiz through my work and I love it!

We spent the day at the Holy Land Experience and then we had plans this evening afterwards to go to Keith & Joy’s in Lakeland on the way home. (Our friends who pastor Harvest A/G there) On the way there I returned a bunch of ministry phone calls that have been piling up the past two days. That taken care of, we went to the Conley’s and Joy had made us a home cooked meal which was so nice. We usually go out together in either Tampa or Lakeland and we eat dinner out but then come back to one of our homes for dessert. Being at the Holy Land Experience all day, I was feeling strange because it rained a lot of the day and I had gotten all wet and cold (even though it’s been hot here) but today was different. I felt yukky, wet, cold, just wanted to go home and put on socks and get under a blanket. With Joy cooking tonight at her house, I was just able to go there, get a pair of nice warm socks from her as soon as I got there, and get under a blanket in her rocking chair, sip on some hot tea and talk.

After dinner we talked for hours, laughed, solved all the world problems…as usual. :-) Oh how I need and love my friends.

I had left Dustin a special pizza in the freezer that I thought he would enjoy cooking up but he and Stephen decided of all things that they wanted “a feast”. They wanted to cook fried chicken and mashed potatoes. He called me for the instructions on how to do so several times and I was trying to coach him from Lakeland. Of all nights for him to try all this on his own… but he did good! It turned out well. He was excited when I got home tonight to show me his three shirts that he bought last night when he and Stephen went to the Format concert. Stephen's here spending the night as usual. This really is his home and we're so happy to have him. I treat him just like "one of my own".

Jordan and Savanna are at camp tonight…I’m praying that the Lord is touching their hearts and ministering to them. (Savanna is a camper, obviously – but Jordan is working the rec staff this week like he did last year. I still believe God will minister to him, though. Anything to get him in that environment where the Holy Spirit is moving.)

It will be quiet at my house this week. I am looking forward to hopefully sitting on my patio once again to have my devotions if the weather cools a bit. If not at least my house will be more conducive to time alone with God this week, inside. I love my children but I also love my quiet time with the Lord. Without it, I’m toast!

Speaking of that – I was reading today in the Secrets of the Secret Place about rest. I was tempted to skip where I was reading and go on to the next chapter. I really didn’t want to hear about rest right now since I’m in a season that is very difficult to rest with several heavy ministry projects going on in my life at once. When I saw the topic of the chapter I thought, Lord, it's impossible right now so don't go convicting me about this right now pleeeeease..." Last night I laid on my bed, stared at the ceiling, thought about my schedule right now and said, “NEVER AGAIN.” I have several huge preaching assignments that I am preparing for, including Africa. (plus all my regular church stuff) I’m not even thinking about writing proposals because that is out of the question for the next 3 or 4 months. With the way that I approach all of my speaking engagements, I do so with the guiding principal that absolutely every single one is given paramount attention. I don’t have one that is considered lesser - EVER. I treat a single booking at a ladies event with a handful of people in a little country church the same as I do several thousand people in Africa. My core value is that those people are no less important, and when I get up, every time it’s like I’m speaking to thousands no matter how many show up. So I approach everything with the same intensity, study, prayer, seeking God, etc. Sometimes I have more messages to prepare than others – but my point is, I do not relegate anything to lesser importance. Therefore right now, I am feeling a little weighty spiritually. I have the All Church Ministries Conference, Unstoppable Conference, Houston Conference and Africa Conference coming up, like bam, bam, bam and then keeping up with the church at the same time without missing a beat…well, it’s a bit of an order right now for me. But I am convinced that God ordered each one, so therefore I have to keep going and just…”do the next thing” as Dr. Debbi put it on Saturday.

Dr. Debbi said something on Saturday that rocked my world. She said, when you get saved, and somebody says, “Now that you’re saved, don't steal! It’s a sin!” nobody argues with that. Everyone can agree across the board, stealing is a sin. But she said, what about worry? God is saying to you: “Now that you’re saved, don't worry! Worry is a sin!” Why do we relegate worry to a lesser sin or somehow inconsequential? It is a sin to worry. Yet sometimes I still find myself staring at the ceiling…and worrying.

Jesus, please help me. Stealing is no issue for me. Worrying is. I need your help.

Phenomenal day in the house

It was an absolutely astounding day in the house today at Northside. God is so good. We were just going after God with all our hearts...I really sense many people growing to a new level never attained before... praise and worship just absolutely rocked. It was the people's hunger for God that is making the difference...there is really nothing else that different. It's not that it's better music, better presentation of anything - it's just a hunger for the Lord and a desire for a revolution, plain and simple. Those who hunger and thirst after righteousness will be filled.

We are living in exciting times!!!

I would blog more tonight but it's like this...my kids are all spending the night somewhere else getting ready to leave for camp in the morning. That means Larry and I have this house all to ourselves tonight. It was a great day in the house today and it's going to be a great night in my house tonight. :-)

More tomorrow...

Go Girl Conference

I’m just getting back tonight from the “You Go Girl!” conference, hosted by my good friend, Pastor Andrea Fruscella, co-pastor of First Coast Christian Center in Jacksonville, FL. I decided to take my life coaching ladies to the event. Only six of them could go out of the group but it was so worth it for all of us. I am coming back with my head and my heart so full.

Janet Pascal did the music. Andrea’s message (aptly titled, “You Go Girl”) was awesome. I loved it. And I heard the ministry of Dr. Debbie Dunlap for the first time and I was more than blessed, I was so challenged. I have so many things to work on, I don’t know where to start. She said some things that were absolutely revolutionary to me. Her messages were about depression and anger but they were more biblically based than anything I have ever heard. Rare is it that I go to anything where I haven’t heard of some re-mixed version of the message, but in this case I actually got something new. Basically her outline that she gave out of her message on depression has become a prayer list of sorts for me. I haven’t even gotten home yet, but in addition to my regular prayer list, I plan to pray her message into my life every day. All of the ladies said that Dr. Debbi's ministry impacted them so much especially the messages on depression and friendship. We all have so much to work on! But the good news is, we have the rest of our lives for Jesus to do this in us. Praise God for His grace and patience. This conference was not one where you ran the aisles and shouted, but it was such a deep, "time for a change deep in your heart" type thing and very introspective.

We stayed at Hampton Inn and Suites. We had a fantastic time. I stayed up with the ladies in my room talking until 4 am but it was so worth it! We need that “girl time” from time to time especially with like minded people. I am so refreshed. Rare is it that you go away as a leader and come back refreshed. You are usually so tired from dealing with stuff with “the sheep” but realize I took the cream of the crop away this weekend, not just anyone – these are ladies that have been in the life coaching group for over six months now and they really are at a whole other level. I am physically tired but so emotionally and spiritually refreshed.

Andrea called all the co-pastors, women pastors, pastor’s wives and staff pastors up to the front to honor them. Each were presented with roses and she honored them for their ministry. Then she asked me to greet them and speak to them about the Unstoppable Conference, which was my joy. I was able to share my heart about it and then she asked me to pray over them. We did that and then Dr. Debbie was supposed to preach again at that point but changed her mind. Right after my prayer, she said, “women pastors, pastor’s wives…stay right where you are…” She said God changed her mind about preaching and that she wanted to “interview” us. She went down the line and interviewed each one about the main thing God has taught us or done for us. It was really awesome. After that Janet closed in song.

Andrea really promoted Unstoppable this weekend at the conference. She had flyers up in the restrooms in each stall…she had them at the info center, the registration table, and people were talking it up. When I walked in, a greeter came up to me in the foyer and said, “Mam’, have you received an invitation to the Unstoppable Conference?” I said, “um, yes as a matter of fact, I’m leading it…” J I thought that was so funny. But it always tickles me to have something like that happen. I’ve shown up to preach somewhere and been standing around and someone came up and said, “do you know our guest speaker?” I love the look on their face when I say, “yes, she’s been the closest person to me for 40 years, I mean, we’re like best buds.” Ha ha!!!

It rained all the way home. It was pouring so much we had to drive 45 mph all the way home but thank God we were in good company. Just talking, laughing and having a great time. Candy helped me prepare a little surprise for service Sunday to everyone's delight. Hopefully I can pull it off! We'll see...

We stopped half way on the way home at Wendy's for dinner. While eating, Pastor Andrea called my cell phone just to talk for a few minutes again and get my thoughts...and thank me for being there. I told her again how great it was...what a great job she did. What an incredible person she is. I just enjoy her friendship so much.

I was so looking forward to getting home to Larry. I missed him. I'm not real good at being away from him. The Hampton Inn beds are so comfy… (although I like sleeping in them with him better!). They are the same as the Hyatt beds (I checked with the management because they felt so much the same. I know, I’m weird like that.) But anyhoo, I have only been away a little more than 24 hours but I really do long to just hug my husband and nuzzle up to his neck and just hold him there… and I long to see my Savanna and shout, “Savannie Bannanie, Bobbernina Girl!!! Momma missed her angel pangel, sweetie peetie prinny pie! Jordan Andrew…Momma missed her peachy, her prince, her spridle. Dustin Michael…Momma’s chocki woki souvlaki, captain, Dusty Busty, Baby Cake! I’ll make all them stand there for at least 1 minute while I hold them. It’s tradition. They can’t break the hug til’ I say so. I never saw Dustin tonight - he's at Stephen's but I talked to him on the way home...he bought a bass today and is real excited about it. Savanna's at Morgan's but we stopped by because Lar picked me up there tonight and I showered her with some hugs/kisses before going home. Jordan's home and me with big hugs asking me to check out his boo boo's from paintball and an ant hill he fell into. Momma fixed him up with some Benadryl, he's going to be good as new.

So it’s like this. I’m home, unpacking, ironing the family’s Sunday clothes (never got to it before I left) and the rest of the time, I don’t care about the house – I just want to snuggle with my family and go to sleep. The house can wait til tomorrow even though we have newcomers, I guess I will just resign myself to a few hours of racing around getting things ready, although I will have less time because we go from worship rehearsal, Christian education, worship service, the Spanish outreach meeting, and then newcomers. It’s going to be a full day, but that’s alright. Next week is going to be a lot quieter because the kids are at camp. Everybody and their brother has called Larry and I to get together next week after work. That’s fine by me…we’ll have some more encouragement from our comrades in ministry, which is always needed for all of us who serve in ministry.

Good night for now. It's good to be home.

I hope I'm wrong, but...

The other day I was getting my nails done and was forced to watch a movie. Sometimes I'm glad to be forced, other times not. I could change nail places but I'd never want to - I like it there! Movies play there all day all the time and sometimes I love 'em, sometimes not. The movie of the week this time was Premonition with Sandra Bullock. I found myself frustrated by the plot and wondering what in the world the whole point of the whole thing was and never quite got my answer. But it did get me thinking about something on a serious note.

People talk about women's intuition. On top of whatever that is, whether you believe it does or doesn't exist, I believe I flow in something that definitely does exist and that is the word of knowledge, and also just the general feeling of knowing something in my spirit, as every believer has the ability to do, and I believe some are just more aware of it than others. Being body soul and spirit I believe that often times our spirit knows things before we are aware of them physically. I'm not talking about some kind of magic or witchcraft - I'm talking about a gift from God, as He speaks to you in your spirit through the power of His Holy Spirit.

This happens often to me. I will be awakened in the night and my spirit knows something has happened, but it has not been manifested to me physically yet. It can be good or bad, happy or sad, but the fact is - I know it. As sure as I'm standing there. So if it's good, I start rejoicing and thanking God for what He is doing. If it's not so good, I start praying about that too, canceling the enemy's assignment, praying God's will over the situation and also just being vigilant, watchful and keep a pulse on the situation. I take warnings and words from God seriously. Please understand, I'm the least "mystical" person there is. I'm not into flaky spiritual stuff. But I am being very honest here and matter of fact that there are times I am just doing everyday stuff and this happens.

Sometimes I hate it. Why hate a gift from God? Well, I don't really, but it's like this. I wish everything my spirit told me was good but sometimes it's not. I believe God gives His people warnings especially when He knows they will respect His warnings and take them seriously. A majority of the time I keep it to myself under wraps and just pray about whatever I know in my spirit. That's the main thing I believe God calls any of us to do about things He shows us. But many times I share it with Larry and there are times I feel led to share it with someone if it concerns them in some way. Being Larry's wife for 20 years, he has grown to respect what God tells me more and more and realize there's something to it. There are times God shows me that something is "just not right". Times God warns me about someone or something.

One time God showed me an entire conversation that occurred between four other people when I was not there. For a year I wondered, "is this really God or am I just eating too much pizza late at night? Am I being paranoid?" About a year later in a conversation with one of the persons, they must have been under conviction or whatever because they brought out to me the entire conversation they had (not knowing that God had told me already). The conversation was not a positive thing. They were shocked that I didn't have a big reaction to it and just sat there matter of fact like it was no big deal when they told me. The fact was, it was old news to me. When the Lord showed it to me and it was for the purpose of warning me and "having my back". I believe God always "has your back" it's just that sometimes we don't turn ourselves toward him to realize it on the front end!!!

When it's not something positive that I hear in my spirit, I always hope I'm wrong. I pray hard that I'm wrong. You don't ever want to be right about something bad!!! (At least a normal person doesn't.) But the majority of the time, when it concerns something like that, I'm not wrong. In fact I can count on less than one hand the times I've been wrong.

Godly "premonition" can be a difficult thing. When to share, what to share, if to share. When it's good you can't wait to shout it from the rooftops. When it's bad perhaps nothing is worse. I don't know how many conversations I've started out by saying, "I'm really hope I'm wrong but..."

And time and again I wonder why God chose to tell me those things but several times God has spoken to me when I've wondered or asked that and gently said to me, "Deanna, I am trying to show most people these things in the spirit but they just don't want to see or hear it. Some are too busy to hear it, some too stubborn to hear it, some don't care to hear it..." Choosing to be sensitive to God and hear Him is an exciting life but can also be hard too, because you find yourself at times saying... "I hope I'm wrong, but..." only to see another God-given premonition come to pass.

Have any of you experienced what I'm talking about? Anyone eating out of my box of Cheerios?

Whew! (Updated)

What a day. I worked from home because our phones were out again yesterday as well as our internet and I just can't survive work-wise that way.

I got a lot of computer work done as well as made (literally!) about 40 phone calls for work. I am so tired of being on the phone and so glad I'm done. It's nearing 7 pm and we're going to have dinner with the Watson family - all of us - tonight. She's making steaks on the grill and I made my mashed potato casserole and corn casserole. Yum! We are excited to do this with Reggie home, and all of us will be there. I also have a special gift for her...I know she's not going to get on here before I give this to her, so I'll blog about it...since in 1/2 hour I'm giving her this...

I found a photo of her and Barbara (her best friend who passed away two weeks ago) at our Northside women's retreat a few years ago. (Here it is at left. For those who don't know her, Barbara is at left, Rosemay to the right.) I had a copy of it made this week, and got a pillow that is a special "photo pillow" that says "Forever Friends" and put the photo in there. She's going to love it. I mean, I'm sure it will be emotional but it will mean a lot to her. [Update: I gave it to her tonight when we got to the house - she broke down crying as I expected, but not a devastated cry, rather a sentimental type cry. She just wept and hugged me and said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much..." and kept showing everyone there her "little special pillow." Reggie said, "um, that is so little. Is she supposed to sleep with it?" I explained that no, this is a decorative pillow.]

In other news, we had to take Dustin back to the doctor's today. His ear/throatache came back with a vengeance after taking all the antibiotics. He could hardly sleep last night. I made an appointment by e-mail with Doc and Rosemay last night. Larry took him first things this morning and thank God. They found an abcess on his tonsil. They had to do a procedure (very painful) and drain it. Dr. Watson gave him a shot to numb the pain for a little bit and sent him over to a specialist that moment - Dr. Patel, who finished the job by draining the abcess. Now they want to take the tonsil out. The poor child is in so much pain but he wants to go to the Watson's tonight. He can hardly talk and it's painful to move his mouth at all. It's funny, his doctor who did the procedure this morning, he's going back to tonight to eat steaks with. :-) If he's in too much pain, we'll see what else Doc can do.

Signing off now.......but I'll probably blog more later even if find myself on late tonight. I also have to pack for our life coaching retreat tomorrow!!!!! I can't wait!! We leave tomorrow afternoon. Jacksonville, here we come!

Your church is so great compared to our last one

When I'm greeting visitors in our hospitality room after service, I often hear comments like this:

"We're here this morning because we are looking for a new church. Our church just isn't moving with the spirit anymore. The pastor feels like he needs to preach all the time. Why can't we just worship?" [um...last time I checked the Word was supposed to be central in a service, at least a Christian one...how you can "move with the spirit" without the Word of God, I don't know. Also last time I checked, preaching as well as every other aspect of the service is worship.]

"We're here this morning because our pastors are so unapproachable. We're so glad we could come in here to the visitor room and walk right up and talk to you this morning!" [Well, what are you going to feel like next week when I don't talk to you because I'm in here with next week's visitors, and not you?]

"We're here because our last church brought up tithing every week. That just makes us uncomfortable." [We take an offering every service and we're a tithing church. It amazes me that something people are chasing after for 40-50 hours a week (money, income) you get upset about if your pastor talks about for a few minutes before he/she takes the offering. As they say, a person's wallet is the last thing to get saved.]

"We're here because the worship at our church became a show and we just couldn't take it anymore." [What's going to happen when you get familiar with our worship team and start judging the way they move/act and assume the condition of their hearts by the way they jump, cry, close their eyes, wave their hands, or lack thereof?]

"We're here because we can't worship at our last church the way the Lord was leading us to. The leadership there is just too controlling." [Well, if you are going to twirl around with ribbons from JoAnn Fabrics on a dowel stick and distract people by behaving more like a fairy godmother than a worshipper and quote prophecies from the Elijah List in between or after our worship songs, realize you might not worship "like the Lord is leading you to do" here either.]

"We're here because the pastor at our last church just didn't spend enough time with us or call us enough." [What's going to happen when I don't hang out enough with you and concern myself more with winning souls in the community that are going to hell?]

"We're here because we're hurt that the staff in our previous church just didn't handle things right and there were personality clashes..." [What's going to happen when you don't like the way we handle something? We don't plan on checking with you every time we plan to do something.]

"We're here because our last pastor made a big mistake when he/she did _____________________________." [What's going to happen when I make a mistake? I have made at least one before and I'm relatively sure I may make another one again in the not too distant future.]

"We're here because our last church had problems." [What's going to happen when you see one of the problems of our church? No church is perfect and if you find one, don't go to one - you'll ruin it!"]

"We're here because the music at our last church was too loud." [When the devil fell from heaven, two things fell with him - sound systems and daytimers. Sometimes our sound gets too loud. What are you going to do? Go over to the Church of God, Vineyard Church or First Assembly when it does? Just to save you time, realize theirs may get loud on any given Sunday too. If you are looking for somewhere that doesn't, check out the Church of Christ - they don't have any instruments although they may have a singer or two that may get right behind you and sing too loud.]

"We're here because our last pastor just wasn't real enough. I always felt like he/she had a wall up and just wasn't transparent enough." [Well, I've been to counseling three times and don't care who knows it, and I may just tell the whole church I've had an incredibly "sucky" day. Are you going to leave then because you think I let it all hang out too much?]

"We're here because our last church doesn't do the worship songs we like." [Last time I checked, they weren't supposed to do the songs for you. Our goal here is to select and direct our songs toward God, so you might want to consider that before making this your home church.]

"We're here because our other church expected too much out of people. We have full time jobs and families and all our other pastor talked about was serving. We work 40 hours a week and just can't do that in 'this season' of our lives." [Unfortunately for you, we're not just a tithing church, we're a serving church too. If you want a place to hide with no expecations this isn't it. We're pretty serious about reaching our community and our world here and that takes everybody in the family actually doing something.]

"We're here because our last pastors didn't become our best friends like we hoped for." [With "friends" like you your last pastor doesn't need enemies. Am I going to be the next pastor you are trash talking?]

Hearing these kinds of things would be laughable if they weren't so sad. It is any wonder why the majority of American churches are on the decline? With church shopping and hopping at an all time high and the majority of growth coming through Christians shuffling around , we can see how this mentality is just killing many if not most churches, and causing us to waste far too much precious time. This type of behavior is why I so enjoy striving to grow the church by conversion.

Many pastors who are so excited about more warm bodies in the seats just beam when somebody says, "your church is so great compared to our last one!" I have to be honest, I get scared when I hear somebody say that. Because I realize, I'll only be great for so long, until they get disillusioned with us and move on to the next "great church" that is so much better than us.

As a pastor, you have to develop a resilience to rejection of you and your church because from at least 50% of Christians out there, this is what you will face. I have learned over the years to strive for the accolades of God and not take any joy whatsoever in hearing that I or my church are "so great" compared to somebody or somewhere else. Rather, I honestly pray for both the people I am hearing that from, and those they are talking about. Because I realize those who are telling me that need to grow and need help. For some reason they have never grasped the importance of being planted in order to flourish. Please understand, I am not talking about people who are genuinely in abusive churches, or those who are somewhere that moral failures are happening, or where the Word of God is not preached, or salvation is not presented. No, in my comments here I am referring to good Bible believing, teaching, preaching churches with good pastors who are just trying their best to grow people to a deeper walk with God. So I pray that they would stop this merry go round of change in their lives and get rooted. At the same time, I know the pastors and churches they are talking about are hurting. They tried to bring those people to maturity. They tried to bring them into the fullness of God. They tried to be a good pastor, but somewhere along the line, it just wasn't enough. And now the cycle is starting all over again.

Lord, help us. Somebody needs to stop this dysfunctional cycle and the acceptance by pastors of this "counterfeit praise" that makes them feel so good inside when it's happening. Many eat it like candy when in reality - they are being perfectly set up for a fall.

An interview with my friend Pastor Tara Sloan

I told readers of my blog a few days ago that I'd share more with you about my good friend, Pastor Tara Sloan. To find out more about our friendship, read my previous post. Here's today's interview with one of the most powerful women of God walking the planet...

What are your girls names and ages?

Kaitlyn (14) Kelsea (12) Haley (9) Alexandria -Lexi-

(5) Isabella - Izzie - (15 mo)

How did you and your husband (Pastor Craig Sloan) meet?

Craig and I have known each other for 23 years! My father became Associate & Youth Pastor at Evangel A/G in Clewiston, FL in 1984. Craig’s family lived in Clewiston and attended church at Evangel. So, we became friends and remained friends throughout our teen years.

When I was in college Craig became Associate at my dad’s church in Clearwater, FL. I knew in my heart that God had sent him to be my husband and to make a long story short, we were married December 28, 1991!

How long have you been in ministry?

Of course being a PK (Pastor’s kid) ministry was always something I was involved in. However, I fully embraced ministry when I was 18, right out of high school. While attending college I became the Missions Director at my dad’s church, from there it has escalated into 17 years of ministry- and counting!

What do you most enjoy doing in ministry?

To be perfectly honest- I love it ALL! But to narrow it down, one thing that just pumps me up is being able to ENCOURAGE people- ALL people, saved, unsaved, sick, discouraged, etc. I am an encourager by nature. I can’t help it. Feed me something negative and I’ll spit it back out in some positive fashion.

When it comes to encouraging people I think I thrive in that area so much because I have somewhat of a prophetic nature. I’ve been taught that though the prophetic may have to “tear down” it always “builds back up”. My heart is that people, especially women awaken their potential, discover their possibility, and become their destiny in Christ! In my experience this often happens as a result of encouragement. Everyone needs someone in their corner speaking the Word of the Lord over them and reminding them of who they are and where they are going!

What is the biggest lesson you learned in being an associate pastor?

1.) What you help make happen for others God will make happen for you.
2.) A swordsman never wastes time sharpening his sword.
3.) Be a covering for the set person(s). (Remember Noah and his sons)

What is the biggest lesson you learned in being a senior pastor?

1.) Take your time. Change is necessary but it also freaks people out. (We learned this lesson the hard way!) Visionaries often see the end result and want to charge full speed ahead. This often times creates a “bull in a china shop” situation!

However, aligning the troops and finding the “influencers” (good and bad) will help when you need people to champion with you! Start slow, deliberately, and cautiously and you will finish strong!

2.) Accountability is NECESSARY! Network, network, network! The day of the lone ranger is over! Mentoring and a spiritual covering is a MUST!

3.) EVERYTHING flows from the head down! And I mean EVERYTHING! Anointing, favor, attacks of the enemy, etc. We found that when we were going through “stuff”- we were extremely hesitant to be “transparent” about it to our people. Celebrating the victories was easy- but saying, “Hey, cover your pastors in prayer because they are facing _____,” was something we didn’t want to do.

HOWEVER, we were then inundated with things that were hitting our people. (Remember it flows from the head-down!) Of course we were then feeling really “bogged down” because not only were we carrying our own issues, we had everyone else’s too! After receiving much needed wisdom from our spiritual covering we realized that “transparency to an extent” is not a bad thing. By us saying, “Church, your pastors are battling a stressful situation right now, we need your prayers and support.” This puts a dam in the flood the enemy is trying to release in the house! If it can be stopped at the head it cannot flow down! The same principle works with grace, favor, and anointing- if it is happening at the head, a way can be made through prayer, declaration, and impartation for it to be released onto the people!

What is the biggest lesson you learned in being a woman in ministry?

Not everyone agrees with women being in ministry- and that’s okay. I have learned to simply agree to disagree. However, I have also learned not to apologize for my calling in spite of my gender. I know who I am and I am full aware of my destiny in Christ as a woman and as a Christian!

The following quote has become a mantra for me as a woman in ministry:

“Know God’s dream for your life. Get The Picture. Big. Bigger. Fill up your mind, heart and life with it. Now make that vision consume your life… every thought… every conversation… everything around you.”

Never apologize or second-guess who you are in Him! God needs confident women in ministry!

If you could advise associates on one thing that is most important that they realize, or do - what would it be?

Serve the set persons over the house with an open heart. The house you are serving is theirs, God has placed them there, respect and honor God’s assignment. Commit yourselves fully to the process and be loyal to a fault! Allow no one (including yourself) to speak ill of the set persons, the vision or the circumstances. Cover those you serve.

And remember- what you help make happen for others God will make happen for you!

What do you feel is the most important thing a pastor's wife can do for her husband?

1.) Stand WITH him, not behind him, not in front of him and not beside him, stand WITH him! I have heard a lot of pastors’ wives say they stand beside their husband, however, I have found that it is quite possible to stand beside someone and not really be “with” them.

2.) Champion him! Be his loudest, most spirited cheerleader- (if you won’t- someone else surely will!)

3.) Affirm him every chance you get!

4.) Be HIGHLY INVOLVED!!!!
In a relationship as husband and wife, you can't have a more successful relationship than when two people are in it together.

What do you

feel is the most important role a pastor's wife plays in the church?

The most important ROLE a pastor’s wife plays in the church is the role of HERSELF! For too long, women in ministry and pastors’ wives have been compartmentalized, categorized, labeled, and boxed up. We are the ORIGINAL Stepfords! We are expected to act a certain way, talk a certain way, look a certain way, and perform a certain way.

Recently an article published in Time Magazine about pastors’ wives, “Pastors’ Wives Come Together.”, troubled me. The article began with a ridiculous “job description” for the pastor’s wife. In the next paragraph, looming statistics declared the role of a pastoral spouse as the most miserable “job” in the universe. In addition, the pastor’s wife is also slated as the number one reason pastors leave the ministry. In my opinion all of these issues stem from the fact that when a woman becomes a “pastor’s wife” she often looses her identity. She is given a role to play without any consideration of who she really is! Often times she is referred to as “Pastor So-and-so’s wife,” or the “pastor’s wife.” I believe her most important role a pastor’s wife can play is herself!

Tell us how you feel about co-pastoring and why.

Most of the Christian world wants to make husbands (men) the team captain and turn wives (women) into the batboy. It is difficult to explain how co-pastoring works because there are really very few “broadcast” examples. As a wife in a co-pastoring partnership, I am not the person on the sidelines who squirts water into the mouth of the weary or “pumped up” champion in between rounds.

Co-pastoring is a “team sport” if you will. All the competitors are in it to win it, and they are all working toward the same goal. The “team” falters if even one hurts the team, and the excellence of each contributes to the team. We have different strengths and gifts, and we have different weaknesses and blind spots, but we are a team. We are not individual competitors.

As two separate parts of a co-pastoring couple, we each bring different gifts and abilities and the more we combine our gifts, the better the church can be served! Craig and I are partners. We will play different positions, and have different styles and ways of doing things but one is not more important than the other.

I realize that most of the Christian world does not even assume that equal billing of a husband and wife implies equal authority or corresponding levels of leadership. Perhaps it would be helpful to find a way so it is clearly understood that God has given each of us gifts that are vital for the functioning of both of us.

(But until we find a way, maybe we should all just wear t-shirts with one of my favorite Deanna-ism’s: “Partner: It’s Who I Am, It’s What I Do!” )

Give us a few survival techniques that you have found to help you in balancing being a wife, mothering, ministering and all the other stuff you do.

Balance, whoo-boy! This is something I am trying to find CONSTANTLY! Here are a few of my keys to finding balance and a way to survive the busy-ness:

1.) Partnership! Craig is not afraid to tackle as much and sometimes more than I do household and family wise! He cooks, cleans, changes diapers, and does laundry! (No he is NOT for sale or lease!) We also take turns getting the kids to and from medical appointments, haircuts, etc. We also share in childcare and discipline. (This may sound pretty routine but I have been surprised by the number of people who think raising and caring for the kids is a “woman’s job.”)

2.) Organization! I am learning that organization does NOT mean perfection! It means being practical and functional!

3.) Take what you can get and make the best of it! We try to keep our weekends light but as we all know ministry happens 24/7! And when it is not ministry it is household and family maintenance! There is really very little “chill out” time for Craig and I to spend time with the girls! So, we look at our schedule and work it all in! For instance, I’ll take two of the girls grocery shopping with me. Craig will have one or two of them help wash the car. If there are errands to run, someone goes along. When dinner is being cooked there are always a couple of helpers.

We try to do the same thing with each other. Sometimes we go out and sometimes we order in and watch a movie. We’ve also learned to make the most of any time we have in a place that lacks “distractions” (i.e. car- we have some great “catch up” sessions there!) Bottom line: We take what we can get and make the best of it!

Tell us about your new book that you are writing.

“Confessions of a Destiny Driven Diva” is all about being a confident woman walking out her destiny in Christ. The 3D Woman is in my opinion, the “original triple threat!”

The term “diva” has gotten a bad rap, however, in my opinion, a destiny driven diva is a woman who knows that her life is not her own. She knows that she is destined for greatness and that greatness demands confidence and drive!

Confident women are often misunderstood. Because they know who they are and don’t apologize for it they are branded as “cocky,” prideful,” and “arrogant.” These traits are far from the truth! This book identifies who she really is and what makes her tick. “Confessions…” identifies eight characteristics that reveal the truth about destiny driven women and also releases the secret to becoming one!

“Confessions of a Destiny Driven Diva: Unleashing Your Triple Threat Anointing” will encourage women who are walking out their triple threat anointing and empower others to awaken their God-ordained potential, discover their possibilities as a daughter of God, and become their destiny in Christ!

Tell us why you are Deanna's friend. :-)

When I “happened” upon Deanna’s site (www.pastoringpartners.com) several years ago I was giddy! “Wow! Someone who thinks like me~!” Either I wasn’t crazy or I wasn’t alone!

Seriously, after trading emails for months, maybe more than a year, we “met” and attended a conference together. I felt like I had met a kindred spirit. She has become such an inspiration to me and encourages me to no end! She challenges me and encourages me sometimes on a daily basis and often when she doesn’t even realize the impact she’s made. She is the REAL deal. I thank God for women like her! I thank God she’s my friend and in my life!

Thank you Tara, I'm glad you are my friend and in my life too. By the way, now that you gave the analogy about the captain and the bat boy, I would like to add my next "Deanna-ism". Here goes: "I may be Wonder Woman, but I am definitely NOT Bat Girl!" LOL

I love you my friend, always. Never forget the pact we made on the bus in Springfield. Only a matter of time...

Why do women stay?

This past weekend I was reading about Senator David Vitter and the brou ha ha concerning his sleeping with prostitutes in a brothel. It appears we have yet one more high profile person who lauds the importance of family values who is then either exposed as an adulterous, prostitute visiting, meth addicted, massaged by a homosexual, or you fill in the blank here leader. The revelations never cease to amaze me and sicken me as well.

I go through this little ritual every time they happen. I review the news report clip on You Tube or AOL, I watch Larry King Live or read the paper, and I take a look at these men's wives, and hear them talk or see them stand by their side loyally at the very least. Then I take a look at the women (or men) they committed these sins with and I go, "um, okay..............."

I know sin doesn't make sense. There is no good reason for it. But for the life of me I can't get a grasp on any reason, not even the slightest as to why these people would step out on their wives for this. I remember when Swaggart was exposed. I used to watch his preaching telecasts and truthfully I thought his wife was such a beautiful, sharp lady. I remember her perfectly coiffed hair and suits she wore that were so elegant. She was sort of the Jackie Kennedy of evangelist's wives at the time. I mean she was an elegant lady, someone you would do a double take when you saw her. And she gave so much for the ministry. I remember seeing a front cover of their ministry magazine one month in their heydey and there was a crowd of thousands, maybe millions, and Frances Swaggart was in one of her suits dressed to the nines, with her blonde hair all shiny with not a strand out of place, and she was kneeling at the edge of a stage packed with people who were surging forward for prayer at their crusade, with her hand stretched out over the crowd, praying for people. I was in bible college at the time and I really admired her. Well, a short time later when everything came crashing down, I opened the newspaper and took one look at the prostitute her husband was with. This woman looked like she was pulled out of a sewer. What was the man thinking? Was the sex with his wife really that bad? I would think he'd rather spend some extra time in the shower than go down to a brothel and pick up this more than likely disease infested or at the very least skanky looking ho. But we all know he didn't. And neither did Senator David Vitter. It makes no sense to me.

It also makes no sense to me that their wives stay with them. They give these men who are completely led around by their lower halves a second chance.

I was recently talking to a friend about another friend who is being abused by her husband. Not only has he been a cheater but he has actually taken a swing at her. From all appearances they live in a model Christian home. For years she would brag, "my husband better never take hit me! It would be his last day alive!" Or she would boast, "My bags would be packed that day." Or, "if he cheats, he's written his ticket out of here!" Here is something I've discovered - 99% of us say those things. Rare is the woman I haven't heard that from. But when it happens, these statements often end up to just be empty threats made by someone who wasn't really faced with the choice of such a tremendous loss overnight. As they say, "until it happens to you..."

My friend hit the nail on the head when she said, "when women say, 'I would never let him do that to me! I'd leave him!" what they really mean is, "i would never let your husband do that to me." When they think of your husband doing it he seems like a total scum bag and someone they could just kick to the curb without so much as a second's thought but when it happens with their husband who they've been married to and have 3 kids with, and a house and two cars, and a bank account, and someone they've shared all those years of memories and all that stuff...well, it's more than just a split second decision. All of a sudden they think, "maybe I should think twice about staying and trying to work this out."

I'm amazed at what women will put up with when it's their husband, and not someone else's. I do a lot of ministering at other churches and conferences, and pray with thousands of women. When you are a guest speaker you learn that people will tell you things they would never tell their pastor. That's a scary thought for me as a pastor, by the way! The issue is that often people are afraid of the ramifications of loss of ministry and consequences of telling their pastor. And quite truthfully pastors must take action when they hear things like this. It's only right.

Well, one time I was ministering at a conference and among the many I prayed with was a lovely woman at the altar just sobbing and wracked with grief and when I asked what was wrong she shared with me the tremendous burden she had been bearing for months. She and her husband are very faithful members of their church, serve in ministry at the church and have children and grandchildren. They live an upper middle class life with a beautiful 4,000 square foot home. They have many friends and enjoy travel and everything an upper middle class life affords. Yet one day this woman's world was shattered when she came home a little bit early from shopping with a friend, opened her bedroom door and found her husband there on the bed...having sex with a dog. No, I'm not kidding. Amazingly, she is still with him. All I could say was, WHY? She said, "First it would devastate our children and grandchildren's world. They could never ever handle the exposure of this. Second, it would cause so many ramifications in our church and I can't handle the embarrassment of people knowing. And third, I'd lose everything. I've always been a housewife. I have no income. So I leave here and what...get a little bit of alimony? For many years I have been able to have the lifestyle I currently live and enjoy. Am I to lose all this and move into a tiny apartment and struggle the rest of my days just to survive?" She had terrible fear of what leaving her husband would cause. So she stayed, knowing her husband had these horrible issues. It is unfathomable to me.

I believe that woman is a very rare case and I do believe if most women's husbands were having affairs with dogs they would be gone. But how many women stay through beatings and affairs with women or flings with prostitutes? In my opinion, way too many - yet unless you have "been there" how can you fully judge?

All I know is this - I won't make any rash statements about leaving....however...just my two cents for what it's worth...

1) The intimacy factor in my marriage is very important. A total trust is essential to be fully open to your partner spiritually, emotionally, physically. The Bible speaks in Ephesians 5 of the depth of this bond being a mystery. It's so amazing, it's not even explainable. One of the reasons it is so is because it is holy. It includes an undefiled marriage bed. (Many people think an undefiled marriage bed means you as a couple only do certain things in bed. That's not true. It means that you do not BRING ANYONE ELSE into it. You are set apart for one another...your union is unblemished because your bed is reserved for each other.) A cheater violates that beautiful facet of the relationship in such a profound way. Once that trust is broken, my fear would be that true intimacy could never really be achieved again to the degree it was, and I don't know that I'd be willing to settle for less than everything. (Refer to song by Sugarland - "Settlin") Am I willing to settle for a relationship in which I could never totally "let go" again? Probably not although I'll never say never.

2) If it happened to me and I did stay, there would be a whole lot of making up for the rest of our lives. I would never have to pay Eden Spa on Rt. 54 for a massage ever again on my birthday. I'd be getting those every single night for free without complaint or he'd be sleeping face down the rest of his life. (Actually he'd have to do that anyway...) Jewelry stores would know my husband by his first name. JC Penney's might report 4th quarter revenues that haven't been reached in the past century. Compromise would never be a word that is used in our marriage ever again - it would pretty much be my way the rest of our lives. He'd lose his voice saying, "yes, dear." He would forget who Stan Savron is because he would never watch him or Sports Beat ever again. Lifetime TV might as well be considered our default channel. Some other man would be praising God for the donation of his Callaway clubs thinking, "HOW GENEROUS!"

I might not have to say, "I'm leaving". He would probably decide on his own that his staying comes with too high a price. Forgiveness? Yes. Consequences? Yes to that too. Forgiveness doesn't mean absence of consequences. It's not a matter of revenge, it's a matter of restitution. When people commit a crime, they still pay restitution even if they find religion in jail. And such they sh0uld. Restitution is just the right thing to do. Sometimes restitution lasts longer than anyone would ever imagine. If a Christian girl gets pregant out of wedlock the baby doesn't just disappear unless she commits another sin. We all make choices and we pay the price. As my husband says, sin will take you further than you ever wanted to go, keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay, and cost you more than you ever wanted to pay. People might think, "no matter what a husband does to make it up, he never could truly make it up no matter how hard he tries." Yes, that's true, but shouldn't he spend a lifetime trying?

Leaving? I don't know.

An astrononical price tag? That is a sure bet. In fact, you can take it to the bank.

Savanna's Brilliance...

Last night I was laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep and my daughter, Savanna Rose came in and laid down with me and wanted to talk for a while. We lay there and talked about a zillion things but I want to share with you just two things about her because it's so funny. Recently we got her FCAT scores back and it's amazing how brilliant this child is. I mean, my boys aren't lacking in brains by any means but Savanna seems to score out of the ballpark on things at times. And she can be so witty. Not to mention I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world...

Last night she's laying here talking to me about motors, and how things are powered and all kinds of stuff like she's an engineer or something. I was thinking, "okay, I've lived thirty years longer than her and I have no idea what she's talking about right now..." I had no idea she knew anything about motors. Then she says...

"and Mom, for the life of me I just don't understand dyslexia." I said, "what do you mean Savanna? She said, "Well, why don't schools and teachers just start making their tests backwards instead of telling these people, "now don't stress out or rush...just take as much time as you need..." ??? Doesn't all that seem like a huge waste of time??

I have to admit, I almost fell off the bed laughing at that one.

If I wasn't a pastor...

If I was not a pastor and lived my life as a regular church member, what would I do, or not do? I know I have the advantage of seeing things from "the other side" but still, I ponder often about what I would do if I ceased to be a pastor tomorrow and started attending a church somewhere. There are a few things I know for sure.

1) I'd never tell my pastor anything particularly important that I want them to remember on a Sunday or Wednesday night. (They've got way too much going on in leading the service and then praying for and greeting people afterwards and will probably forget it.) I'd give a call sometime during the week during office hours and ask the secretary to have them get back to me at their convenience. I also wouldn't drop in unannounced to the office and expect to meet with them, except in case of emergency, but would give the courtesy of calling the secretary for an appointment. I would respect my pastor's time, realizing that not only do they not "just work one day a week" (a common myth) but more like 50 hours on average per week, and 60 in busy seasons such as Christmas, Easter, or when major church projects are going on.

2) I would never approach my pastor right before a service about anything when they are getting ready to preach. I would realize - their head needs to totally be in the service. They have prepared, prayed and have to have their "head in the game" which means no distractions. The most contact I would have with my pastor right before a service would be to go to the room where they are and join others in praying for them before they go on the platform.

3) I'd make a point to e-mail or send a card at least once a month to just tell them something I appreciate that they've said or done lately. If their ministry is making any difference in my life at all, I would not wait until "Pastor Appreciation Month" to tell them.

4) In addition to whatever I was doing in the church as far as serving in a ministry (such as Sunday School or something), I would ask my pastor to give me something to do at least once a week or at least once a month that really has nothing to do with my "giftings" or my "calling" but is something they usually simply can't get anyone else to do.

5) I would sit in the front 1/3 of the sanctuary and make sure I was always fully present and involved - a total participant in worship.

6) I'd bring as many people to church as I possibly could.

7) I'd "amen" them at least four or five times a service.

8) I'd make it a point to love their family and show it by my words and actions.

9) I'd be the poster child for their vision. I'd make it my business to spread throughout the congregation whatever their dream was, and make a point of "good gossip" as I call it - telling anybody within earshot all the great things happening with the individual people in the congregation and the church as a corporate body.

10) I would always speak well of them. (I feel if I couldn't speak well of my pastors, what in the heck would I be doing in the church?) I heard Pastor Willie George one time say, "Most churches would grow if people would just speak well of their pastors to others..."

11) I would open my mouth and take up for them if need be. If I overheard anyone speak ill of my pastors I wouldn't even stop to ask myself if I were the person in position to speak to such a matter. I believe it is every church member's responsibility to stop any negative word about my pastors and demand that it cease.

12) I'd make sure my pastor was taken care of financially and if they weren't I'd go to the appropriate leaders and voice my opinion that that needs to change.

13) I would respect and give honor to my senior pastors as the spiritual mother/father of the church and realize that God has made them foremost leaders of the flock. If something negative or questionable happened with a staff member, I would not take their side but always give my senior pastors the benefit of the doubt and realize that God has placed them in position to lead and make these decisions on behalf of what is best for the body.

14) I would ask them how I could pray for them. When they told me, I would keep it airtight and take it to my grave. If they shared a burden with me, it would never escape my lips unless they asked me to share it with the prayer group or something.

15) I'd pray for them every single day and never take for granted that everything is okay, that plenty of other people are praying for them, or that they don't need my prayers.

16) I would not expect any special treatment from them for doing any of the above, or use it to get close or closer to them. I would always realize, they are my pastor first, my friend second. I would be happy with the level of relationship my pastor chose to grant me, and be grateful for it.

Impossible? I don't think so. I've seen some people actually live these things out! Some of them are members of my church where Larry and I serve as pastors! And praise God for them! know many people might think, "she wouldn't see it that way if she were not a pastor, but honestly...I would. These are things some people have done for me and it means the world. And if I'm ever retired out of the pastorate and in another type of ministry, these are all things I can't wait to put into practice if Larry and I attend somewhere else and sit under another senior pastor someday!

Mixed up ducks

It was a good day today. But...I had a rough start. Nothing like setting all my ducks in a row perfectly, with care and precision on my part and then dealing with other ducks that weren't lined up right. I am learning that this is truly part of my "lifetime intimate portrait" -- lifetime being the operative word here. I have got to come to the point of accepting this in some form or fashion, because unless every single person in my world takes details as seriously as I do, it's just going to be a factor.

Not being a pessimist, but what is the likelihood of everybody doing that?

Had a thought on this...the Bible talks about "as far as it depends on you" with different things like peace. But I think it can be applied to other things. Such as: as far as it depends on you, make sure you take care of all that has been placed in YOUR CARE. Dot all your own"i's" and cross all your "t's". Regardless of what happens, as far as it depends on you maintain a standard of excellence. When it comes down to it, the one thing we can all be sure of is what WE DO, and that is what we answer for - to God and to others. I can't control everything, nor can I vouch for where other people's ducks will be, but I can make sure my things that I'm personally supposed to handle are always done with due diligence. Thank you Jesus that we are all "in control where it counts" - we have choice to do right, to be faithful, to be excellent, etc. And I choose this.

About details, I am a voice crying in the wilderness a lot of the time. There are many people I know who share my fascination with creativity, passion, the Word of God or any myriad of other things, but to have people passionate about details is quite another thing. When I get a friend who is detail driven it is like a cold cup of water in a thirsty land. Tara, I know you're reading this and I just want to say this is one thing I admire about you - "details". You are one of the first people that come to mind when I think of this. Hearing about how you have structured an outreach (your Desperate Housewives one was AMAZING...I remember thinking, "how in the WORLD did she do all that?") or really anything you set your hand to do is a real example even to people like me who are detail oriented. People like you keep us all sharper and on our toes.

Part of my quandry is, most details seem so simple to me. They are not an extensive mathematical equation. It's not even as hard as 2 + 2 =4. It's only a matter of having something to do, being mindful of it, following through on doing it, and in a timely fashion. Why does this seem so hard for so much of the human race?

The more "mixed ducks" on any given Sunday morning, (or any given work week in some cases) the more I realize when we are going to have a great day in the house! And we did. We had at least six or seven people saved, not sure the exact count but it was at least that many. There was a great sense of the presence of the Lord there today. I asked Rosemay to do a reading this morning as part of worship and it went so well. She's very, very anointed with that. We had a ton of visitors. We are really growing more this month which is amazing for summer. Can't wait to see what will happen come fall if things are going this way now. God is awesome!

We had lunch at Moe's today with a few families from church and it was a very enjoyable time. I love connecting with people and getting to know people better. I love hearing their hearts. It's one of my very favorite things to do! Then we had a great vision meeting tonight. I made dinner and thank God, tonight it did turn out! (ha ha!) I wouldn't have sprung something new on a crowd...I did some standby's that I knew would be great. What a time of prayer we had. I love pressing in to God like that. Good stuff. (If all people truly knew how good God is...they wouldn't be able to contain themselves!!!)

During the announcements this morning, Pastor Aaron leaned up to Larry and I and made motion to the crowd and said that it's not going to take much growth at all before we have to have to add another service. What a glorious day we had!!! I am so grateful. It was worth a pile of jumbled up ducks, even double the amount as crazy as they drive me.

I just thank God because truly...I see just how much it all comes back to HIM, HIM, HIM. I have to be honest that I went into this morning prayed up, stuffed with the Word, spiritually armed, practically organized and ready. But when, despite my best preparation things go wrong when I get there, I just find myself totally, 100% needy and leaning on God saying, "please take this mess and turn it into a miracle..." because I'm SO desperate for you right now. And He steps in.

Maybe he allows me to come to that point before the service just to prove it to me once again that everything is Him. Maybe He just wants me to pray in tongues constantly. But if He's doing that I sure wish He'd quit because I have the message now in this head of mine that any success is all His doing, and I already pray in the spirit all the time. So He can stop with the mixed up ducks now, if that's what He's trying to show me...I got the message loud and clear.

Thank you Lord, for this wonderful day filled with your SALVATION, your PRESENCE and your POWER. It really is worth going through anything to experience it.

Gifts and Talents Questionnaire

Read this on somebody else's blog and thought it was interesting, so I'll answer too...

1. Personality tests; love them or hate them?

I rather like them. I think it's interesting to discover what you already knew but have something else confirm it.

2. Would you describe yourself as practical, creative, intellectual or a mixture?

Creative most of all. "Created" is the fifth word in the Bible so I think God is pretty serious about it, and I'm passionate about it too. If there's one thing I don't want to be it's a re-baked version of someone else...

3. It is said that everyone has their 15 minutes of fame; have you had yours yet?

I sure hope not. I believe my finest days are yet ahead.

4. If you were given a 2 year sabbatical (oh the dream of it) to create something would it be music, literature, art.....something completely different...share your dream with us...

Definitely writing. Like I've said several times before, I would get a place in Boone, NC and spend my days in solitude writing.

5. Describe a talent you would like to develop, but that seems completely beyond you.

Pie making. I've never been excellent at making pies. I'd love to be. My grandmother was known for that. I mean, she was renown for her pie crust especially. I want to be too but it's going to take a lot more practice.

Bonus question: Back to the church- what does every member ministry mean to you?

To me it means that people stop asking, "what's the church going to do about this?" and realize that THEY ARE THE CHURCH.

A woman of noble character

This morning was Barbara Johnson's funeral. It was a mix of mourning and celebration. So many tears and accolades for this precious saint that passed on who was truly a "Proverbs 31 Woman." It was amazing all that she accomplished with her family, professionally, and her sterling character. One of her best friends put it succinctly this morning when she said, "Barbara was kind. You can find a lot of people who can be kind but the thing about Barbara is that she was kind ALWAYS...ALL THE TIME." She was not only kind but she was a brilliant woman in so many ways.

We were the host church for the funeral. The building was absolutely packed with standing room only, and in addition to every single seat being filled there were people standing in about 3 rows deep all around the back of the sanctuary. To say it was hot in that building was an understatement, even with the air on full blast.

Larry opened the service with a greeting and prayer. I played the keyboard and led in two worship songs - and Velma sang His Eye is on the Sparrow. Pastor Roy Williams from College Hill gave the sermon and many people got saved. Then at the end it was totally cranked up at the end with Rosemay leading, "When We All Get to Heaven". I had asked Christopher to come up and play the drums for that one. I know a lot of people aren't used to that at a funeral but this was different. I felt it appropriate - I knew it would go over great and it did. Rosemay motioned to Velma to come over on the song and the two of them danced all around the stage and sang and got the crowd going. It was an appropriate "homegoing" for Barbara. She will be sorely missed.

The funeral was several hours long and then Larry shot over to make an appearance at the Royal Ranger party but he dropped me off so I could do my usual Saturday cleaning blitz, make dinner and get the rest of the things ready for our vision meeting tomorrow night. I am finally finished preparing everything I'm doing for tomorrow night so that makes me able to rest easy on that. I started on dinner, and completely bombed out. And I do mean completely. I'm so glad we weren't having company although I usually don't make new things for company. I worked so hard on this new dish I was excited about - Chicken Breast with Feta Sauce. (I love feta, normally) Well, for some reason the flavors of everything in the dish just clashed horribly. Balsamic vinegar, thyme, oregano, feta...the recipe SOUNDED so good. I made a bunch of rice and prepared to put a chicken breast atop each one with the sauce over it (it's a low fat recipe too, by the way) and then I took a bite just to taste test what I was going to give my family...and almost threw up! It was some of the most horrible stuff I ever tasted. Just in case my "taster" was off I saved it til they came home and let them decide. They took one look and said, "Yeeeech!" All of the sauce went down the garbage disposal. I put the chicken breasts in the fridge to feed Geena one each day (she LOVES THEM!) Then I pulled out some Stauffer's French Bread pizzas we had sitting in the freezer. That and Edy's slow churned lite ice cream is our dinner tonight. Sound good? Oh well I love to cook but every dish is definitely not a winner.

When it's not a heat wave outside it's thunderstorming. I haven't been truly outdoors in SO long. I miss it much. I am almost done my work for tonight/tomorrow and I'm going to read the Word, pray and go to bed as early as I can for the big day ahead in church tomorrow. I already know of a ton of people who are gone on vacation, etc. tomorrow, including at least half of the worship team. However, God will be there and so will some of His people so that makes for a perfect day as long as we are all seeking Him.

Got a call from Randy tonight. We talked a long time and caught up. Actually he and Larry talked about a week ago but it's never enough when you are away from people who are so dear to your heart. Unless we were living in each other's backyards, we'd always have to "catch up". :-) Anyway... he and Dawn got plane tickets today to come visit. They are coming in August! I can hardly wait!!! It's been too long. We made trips every year there for a while but it has been a long stretch now that we haven't seen them so we are WAY overdue. It will be so good to see them...so good. Let's see, how long have we been in relationship now? About 22 years! Amazing. They were Larry's youth pastors, then they became my boss when I went to work for them at New Morning (Teen Challenge) when they were directors there, and then they became "our" boss and our dear senior pastors when we were their youth/music pastors, and then in addition to being our pastors they became...our friends...and have remained so all this time, only getting closer in our relationship although further away geographically the bond of relationship has only grown. Even today when he called I found myself running three or four things past Randy to get his advice. It's always so timely. For those of you reading who have never met Randy, here is his photo and bio from his church site:

Pastor Randy Visconti is the Sr. Pastor at CCC with over 25 years of ministerial experience behind him. He and his wife, Pastor Dawn, graduated from North Central Bible College and were married in 1981. They are raising four children together. Ryan, the eldest, is a senior at ASU and soon to be commissioned officer in the US Army. Kyle is also going to college and serving in the AZ National Guard. Kirstyn attends Skyline High School where she is an honor student and member of the girls volleyball team. Aaron, the youngest, is in fourth grade and is a future NFL star.

And Dawn...her e-mails, truth speaking and wisdom never fail to amaze me. How I would have gotten through so much without her straight, yet loving talk is beyond me. For those that don't know Dawn here is her photo and bio from her church site:

Pastor Dawn grew up on a farm in Missouri. She was blessed to be raised in a spirit-filled Christian home, accepted Jesus as a small child and received baptism in the Holy Spirit at a Kids Camp. Pastor Dawn was called to the ministry as a teen and attended North Central Bible College in Minneapolis, MN, where she met her husband, Randy. One of her greatest joys is to be a part of helping people really know God. She also enjoys seeing God's people really love one another and speak truth to each other.

Yes...it will be so good to have them here. They are coming for six days to stay with us and it is going to FLY by way too fast. I remember one time we talked so much so late every night I lost my voice. I love them and miss them and their family so much. :-)

Fun Friday

Slept in today - although the phone did ring at 10 am, I just kept sleeping through it and ignored it. Oh the bliss. I love Fridays for the sleep, first of all.

I took my time doing little stuff and then went to the grocery for some things. The boys and Stephen were at work all day getting things done and Savanna played with Molly. I made curried chicken and rice for dinner with some summer squash on the side. They (3 boys) seemed to really like it. (Recipe below if you are interested.) Larry and Savanna aren't as crazy about the recipe but they ate it and then played Monopoly. I would really, really like to go outside but it's so blasted hot you can't be out there more than about 5 minutes. So I guess I'll exercise inside and read my Bible and books in my rocking chair. I think tonight I'm going to light all the candles in my bathroom and fill up the tub,get in and soak while I listen to Duke Ellington.

Indian Curried Chicken

2 cups shitake mushrooms, sliced

1 cup onions, chopped

1/2 cup celery, chopped

1 medium garlic clove, minced

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken thighs , cut into bite-size pieces

1 tablespoon all-purpose flour

1/4 cup fat-free chicken broth

1 & 1/2 teaspoons curry powder

1 teaspoon table salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/2 teaspoon paprika

3 cups canned crushed tomatoes

1/4 cup golden seedless raisins

Hot cooked rice

Saute mushrooms, onions, celery and garlic for 5 minutes; put in crock pot with chicken.
Stir together flour and chicken broth until smooth; add to crock pot. Add curry powder, salt, pepper, paprika, tomatoes and raisins. Cook in crockpot on LOW for 5 hours.
Serve over rice.

As some of you friends know, my husband is severely allergic to mushrooms, therefore we don't ever include them in any recipe, so I don't use them in this but left it in for you. :-) Makes 4 servings; 1/4 of this dish is 7 weight watcher points

Thus Saith the Lord - Woo Hoo!

One of my really awesome friends is Pastor Tara Sloan who now pastors out in Chicago with her husband, Pastor Craig Sloan. When we first met, I lived in Maryland and she lived in Florida. I was thinking when I moved here that we'd be a lot closer but then she moved...bummer. We have known each other um...I guess about eight years ago or maybe a little more now. I'll briefly tell you the story of how we met, and I think I'm going to introduce her to you even more later this week maybe in a little interview. But for now...

Tara found my pastoring partners website years ago. She began reading it and felt like she was reading something she wrote herself. She instantly knew we were going to be good friends. I have a lot of people who write to me and say that. (What can I say, I guess I'm ultra cool?) It's amazing the number of people who say, "I've read what you've written and I just know God has called us to be best friends." That usually turns me off to an incredible degree and sometimes makes me feel like I'm dealing with a stalker or something. I usually avoid such people and write them off as kooks as soon as they write me and tell me, "God told me I'm your new soul sister." Don't mistake, I have met A LOT of very good friends online who are now more than just friends over a computer such as Pastor Lisa, Pastor Leanne, First Lady Ronnelle Brunswick and a lot more. The web is a wonderful way to connect with people and through my pastoring partners ministry I've met so many wonderful women who have become "in person" friends, some of the best I have. But the thing is, it takes time to develop a friendship and it always freaks me out when on the first day of somebody reading my stuff they write to me and tell me we are to be siamese twins, bonded for life. So anyhoo, here's what happened in this case...

Tara wrote me an e-mail that was just a paragraph (very non-pressuring) thanking me for the website and saying how much it ministered to her. And, she said, "we're a lot alike, I think...." and sent me some things she had written. When I downloaded and read her stuff I had this weird feeling like, "I feel like I'm reading my own writing..." it was uncanny how alike our thinking was. I mean, we seemed to eat out of the same box of Cherrios if you know what I mean. So, suffice it to say I was so impressed that I called her up and was like, "Oh my.................we DO have a lot in common." I instantly knew I had met an incredible kindred spirit. That was then and we are still thinkin' alike today and great friends. There's a lot more to it than that, I have so much to share about her and our friendship but maybe in a little interview upcoming I'll share further. I do encourage you to check out her blog in the meantime.

To set up what I'm about to say I want to tell you, however, that, Tara is gifted prophetically among her many other gifts. She preaches, teaches, she's a prolific writer and she directs dramas and is basically what you would call a perfect wife to Craig and mom to five incredible girls and truly I can't even list all her talents here. Most of all she's an incredible passionate worshipper and seeker of God. At significant times in my life she has given me a Word and without a doubt each time it has been so "on"...I can hardly even writes this without crying because at strategic times she has given a Word in due season and it's mind-blowing how things have resulted. It's not like this is all the time that she just throws stuff like this around. It's always something birthed in intercession and when she seeks the face of God. But anyway, last week I got an email from her and she said this to me, and I just thought I'd share it here... because I was so excited to read this!! I am ready, ready, ready! I can't wait to see what God will do. Maybe this word will come to pass in Africa this year?

Deanna, I could actually see you "flowing" about and this incredible "cloud" hovered above you. I saw you pacing the platform with a holy vengeance interceding, preaching, and crying out. The atmosphere was intense. With each word that came out of your mouth I saw this cloud drop lower and lower. The more the cloud lowered, the more people began to respond. In a matter of seconds, this "cloud" encompassed your entire being. A roar was rising out of you that was literally like a "magnet" that was pulling people to the altar. As they came they were falling on their faces and weeping before the Lord. As you ministered I saw the cloud that had swallowed you begin to be deposited upon every person you touched.

Then I heard the Lord say the following:

"I am about to manifest my power in Deanna and all that she touches in a supernatural way. The Holy Spirit has been hovering above her, waiting to wash over her. An anointing unlike any she has experienced is hovering right above her head. It is moving with her, it is eagerly anticipating My Word that will release a flood of power in and through her. Tell her that I have heard every cry of her heart, tell her that my Word is very much alive in her, tell her that I have heard her cries of, "When? When? How much longer?", and My answer to her today is "NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!" Doors that have been closed are about to spring open. Dreams that have been in a "paused" mode are about to live. Tell her to get ready for what she has tasted, what she has sampled is nothing compared to the feast I have prepared as her destiny! "

Thank you Tara for being obedient to share what He speaks to you. Love you!

Friday's Feast

From http://www.fridaysfeast.com/

Appetizer

What is your favorite fruit? Watermelon

Soup

Who is someone you consider as a great role model? Sis. June Coker

Salad

If you were to spend one night anywhere within an hour of your home, where would you choose? The Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay

Main Course

Name something you do too often. I really believe that "too much of a good thing is...wonderful!" But hmmmm, let's see, it would probably be go off my WW program. (by eating too many points in one day)

Dessert

Fill in the blank: I really like ___________ because ____________. I really like Fridays because it's my day with my family.

My latest political rant, my day, and tragedies that don't make sense

Get ready folks...this is a manifesto of sorts...

Took the staff to a new place today for lunch as a special treat - "Up the Creek" -a seafood place. It was good. Always a good time together. Had fun and interesting conversation with Pastor T, speculating on who will be elected General Superintendent this year. Wow, this is a year of BIG change, with several positions that need to be filled. I am praying - hoping against hope - for someone like Alton Garrison or Dr. H. Robert Rhoden. We need a mover and shaker...somebody who has turned districts or churches upside down (or should I say right side up). I'm excited about the possibilities. Those are just two people I know of personally who I believe would absolutely have potential to bring revolutionary change. I also believe these men have a pulse on the local church and could speak to greater health not only for the church but for our pastors. And oh how we need it.

Because I've been through some things, I'm not political anymore in any sense and don't ever desire to be so minded again even if somebody does turn it right side up. It's too late for that, for me. (Even as much as I admire Bro. Garrison and Dr. Rhoden) My life is the local church and that's where my head and heart are. I'm abandoned to my personal relationship with God, the call to pastor, my writing, and speaking. When I said I'm through with the political stuff - I am soooo through. I mean it. I don't say it bitterly nor negatively, just realistically. It's a point I've come to and believe me it's a big change because I used to thrive on being so "involved" in this kind of stuff. So if I'm so over it, why do I bring it up now at all?

My thinking is... at least having some positive changes in the years to come in various leadership roles will make things more enjoyable for all of us ministers, not to mention healthier. People will have less to "get over" in that case. We'd have to overlook far less, and have much less that threatens to disillusion our young ministers and our children. We need less people leaving the ministry. That's the reason I continue to pray about this daily - because I have a heart for pastors and their spouses, and their kids. I hate it when people get hurt, and I just weep when I see people leave the ministry and especially because it is so preventable.

It's funny, a few months ago we were sitting with Dr. Lee and just casually talking about things and I said, "you know Doc, district or national work would never, ever be in mine and Larry's future. We would never, ever do that even if somebody offered us millions of dollars!" And Dr. Lee quickly said, "well of COURSE you wouldn't! You guys want to be IN THE MINISTRY!" Then he laughed, but we knew he was serious as a heart attack. I do want to be in the ministry. Larry craves ministry. Real ministry. The merry go round of what goes on in the whole scene of A/G politics is just not for me or Lar.

I believe what happens on a district or national level does not truly affect our churches anymore because the same churches winning souls and seeking after God will continue to do so no matter who is elected to whatever position. The same people who are on fire will still be on fire. The same people who are lethargic will more than likely still be lethargic. It's just nice, in my opinion, to have people of great integrity, high motivation for change and full of the Holy Ghost leading us on these various leadership levels. It should be crazy to even have to say a thing like that but...well, just look at the statistics and the many casualties in ministry we see, and it doesn't take much to tell something's awry. Why are 1500 pastors a month leaving the pastorate?

When we first started out in ministry I saw the district as something that was sort of like "the pastor's church" so to speak, with the District Superintendent as our "pastor" and the General Superintendent as our "bishop" and executives who would be the "pastors to the pastor" and an integral part of helping us. After 20 years in ministry, I no longer see things that way. I got tired of looking for it and longing for it. We did have that with Dr. Rhoden, but aside from that we have never experienced it. When we faced the biggest challenge of our lives in pastoring in Ohio many years ago, we reached out to our "district executives" to help us, and we got an administrator, not a pastor or spiritual father. It was crushing. Only by the grace of God are we still in ministry.

Later I found out that many other ministers in the same district at the time were not so resilient after what happened to them and were destroyed and left ministry for good. When pastors were bleeding and dying emotionally and being crucified by their churches they felt like they were alone. It was like they were a number, something to be tagged or filed, or something expendable. All that mattered to the execs (at least those in that particular location) was making sure as few people left the church as possible, (even when that wasn't best for the church), that the money kept coming into the church, and that the district kept as many assets as possible. The thinking (not with just our church but many churches) seemed to be, "it's much easier to replace a pastor than straighten an unbiblical church out". My husband and the superintendent were told by the board there that they needed (and I quote) "a pastor who could babysit the unique needs of the congregation." We weren't it. My husband told them, "I'm not a babysitter, that's not my calling, I'm a pastor." People were getting saved - lots of them. People were getting filled with the Holy Spirit. But instead of telling them that it wasn't biblical for them to have a babysitter, the Sup at the time just said it was easier to go out and get them what they were looking for rather than try to change them. Amazing.

I have a lot of respect for Dr. Rhoden. It was a breath of fresh air going to our new district and having a leader who wasn't afraid to stand up for what was right. He wasn't afraid of boards, or really anybody. He would have never for two seconds flat appeased anybody who wanted a babysitter. He was a friend to the pastor. I appreciated him so much. (One time I wrote him an e-mail and told him it was my dream for him to be General Sup! Maybe dreams do come true after all!) When this political stuff goes on as I described, most pastors are disillusioned. They are hardworking, loyal, "team players" who just need an advocate - a "pastor to the pastor" ... somebody to stand up for them and to take a stand for righteousness sake.

I remember when Larry would go to the mailbox and a package from Dr. Rhoden would be there. One time he opened one up and it was a book on breaking church growth barriers, with a sticky post it note on it that said, "Larry - thought of you today and wanted you to have this as I know you're breaking through to the next level right now..." and it was signed "Doc".

At that time when we went through our trial by fire and lost everything we had (our home, our church, our livelihood - everything but our family - praise God for that...) reality set in for me that if we were going to have a pastor (a real pastor) we were going to have to search for them. We had never faced that before.

When you are a staff pastor - you have a pastor. If you don't take advantage of the fact that you have a pastor it's your own dumb fault. It's your responsibility to qualify for mentorship, come under their wing, learn from them and benefit from their protection. The issue isn't really an issue at that point because you have a shepherd and someone "with skin on" to look to for guidance and accountability in ministry. You glean from them all you can (at least a person with their head on straight does) and you enjoy the protection that their covering affords you. I enjoyed that at our first church more than our second but in each situation I learned and grew from my pastors, because I chose to. But as soon as we started pastoring a church ourselves, we found out if we were going to be accountable, we'd have to find somebody who would be that for us. So we did. In fact, I didn't settle for just one, I developed a team of people like that in my life. I think most people want that - anybody smart longs to continue to grow and learn and have someone who speaks into their life. I don't want to just "do my own thing" or be a renegade. I have always longed to soak up all I can from those who have done this longer than me. I want to willingly place myself under someone's leadership who cares about me and will pour into me and tell me the encouraging things but mostly the hard things so I can grow. (It's only in hearing and receiving the hard things that we go any further...) When we started senior pastoring I looked to denominational executives to "fill that gap" that existed now that we no longer served under a senior pastor. And "splat" I fell -- flat on my face, spiritually. Because reality was - what I was looking for didn't exist.

I see executives (and that is what they are - that is their official title according to the bylaws, "executives", not pastors) as what they are titled as --administrators, working in an office building - taking care of records and personnel on behalf of an organization. Serving as a credentialing agency, a place to keep all the paperwork, and a hub from which to plan programs and events. I'm fine with that. I am not bitter at all, I've just adjusted my thinking over 20 years time and realized that to be healthy, every pastor out there needs to decide who they are going to look to as their spiritual father/mother and person or persons pastoring them. When Vicki Yohe was with us this year we had a talk about this and she mentioned the serious need for this among ministers and shared with me how Bill Winston is her pastor and how important he and his wife are to her continued spiritual growth. It would be very easy for her not to have a pastor as she is on the road every week, but she made it a point to seek one out.

In addition to having an "advocate" I want this up close help in my life to become sharp and stay sharp. So many people have no one to push them to grow, to be diligent, faithful and to keep a good work ethic. I never want to be lazy. Perhaps there's nothing I deplore more. (I get near lazy people and start to shake...ha ha! Well, I guess I'm only half kidding...) Everybody needs evaluation and someone to spur them on. How can one grow without analyzing and evaluating? So much of that is having somebody you are willingly accountable to ("your pastor") speak into your life. This is just one reason we are in CLR co-horts, among many. I look to Dr. Lee as one of a team of people I see as that in my life right now. I thank God for Sister Coker, for Randy & Dawn, for many others who fill a role in this way for me. So there, you've had my anti-political spiel for the day. At any rate it will be interesting to see who takes the helm of the A/G and whether our pastors, our churches and our fellowship will get healthier.

Today was a rather normal day. Went to the office and swung by the Hart's on the way to drop off Savanna so I could have an uninterrupted work day. Oh how I appreciate the Hart's...they are just the bomb! Larry took Dustin to the doctor's. He has tonsillitus and an infection in his ear and throat. He's on lots of meds and it will be so good to have him better.

Came home and read a book (yes a whole one - it came from Amazon today and I tore into it! I couldn't wait!!!) then got up and went to work on dinner. I made something new - a weight watcher recipe - Garlic Chicken Kiev (recipe printed below for anybody who may be interested...) and garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli. Larry and Jordan went golfing so it was just Dustin, Stephen and I. The three of us ate at the big table and talked about a bunch of stuff and I feel we solved quite a bit. :-) Dustin says, "why in the world are the three of us eating at this big table?" I said, "uh, because I have all the clean laundry piled on the other one. I just didn't feel like folding it tonight. Anyway, we sat there and talked. I enjoy hearing their perspective on things. Savanna and I are going to watch a movie tonight, not sure what yet. It's still so hot outside...I hate that I can't go out there at all. Quite truthfully you can hardly breathe out there.

I also called Ada tonight for a while and we bore our hearts over the phone. You know, I just saw her yesterday for three hours while she did my hair but sometimes that's just how it goes, and I'm fine that way because I cherish our friendship and any time we talk is always a walk in the heavenlies. We both don't want to wish summer away at all, however we are looking forward to the kids going back to school so we can go to lunch. Hers will be homeschooled this year but 2 days a week they will go to the "community school." I'm proud of her for following her heart and doing this. She is going to do great!

Looking forward to my day off tomorrow. Hopefully it will truly be a day off. (If I hide the cell phones it will be, but Larry would find out and then I'd be in big trouble... ha ha!) We have a funeral Saturday. Barbara Johnson passed away. She's a person I prayed for daily for a long time. It makes no sense to me, I don't understand it. It makes me mad as heck, but I have to keep telling myself in these situations that I don't go by experience but by the Word of God which is why I continue to anoint people, lay hands on them, pray the prayer of faith and BELIEVE. We're got to act on faith, not on experience or feelings. No matter what I see, I keep praying for people. Not just at the altar, but certain ones are on my list every blessed day. And there they will stay until I know there is no more hope. I'll never understand why just as many times as I see a miracle I also experience a tragedy. I guess as the hymn says, "we'll understand it better by and by..." When we get to heaven, Jesus better have a town hall meeting to clear all this up.

Garlic Chicken Kiev

3 tablespoons reduced-fat margarine - softened

1 tablespoon snipped fresh chives or parsley

1/8 teaspoon garlic powder

6 small skinless boneless chicken breast halves (about 3 pounds)

2 cups corn flakes, crushed (about 1 cup)

2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1/4 cup buttermilk or 1/4 cup skim milk

Heat oven to 425 degrees

Cut margarine crosswise into 6 pieces. Place 1 piece on center of each chicken breast. Fold long sides over margarine; fold up ends and secure with wooden pick. Mix corn flakes, parsley and paprika. Dip chicken into buttermilk; lightly and evenly coat with corn flake mixture. Place chicken breasts, seam sides down, in a 9-inch square pan sprayed with nonstick cooking spray. Bake uncovered until chicken is done, about 35 minutes. Serves 6 - 4 WW points per serving.

So that's all for tonight folks...g'night.

She shall stand before kings...

Today was a good day and I can't express how happy I am to finally be sitting here with my feet up, blogging. I don't mind busy days in fact I rather relish them but my feet don't sometimes when I'm in heels all day.

Larry planned to work right through to church and not come home so we went in a little bit later. We needed to really whether we wanted to or not because I had my appt with Ada later in the day and we only have one car now so we needed to plan around it.

Work was good. I did have one very unexpected curve ball where I had to re-do a bunch of my work, but I just leaped a tall building in a single bound, changed things around and got on with it. Such is life! (for me, at least) I find myself often doing my work - having it actually completed - wrapping it up - signed, sealed, delivered and then have somebody come along and throw a wrench in the whole ball of wax. I know I said this was a good day. How could it have been when I got a curve ball? Well it's like this - the fact that I'm able to solve the issue gives me a sense of satisfaction that first of all, I make a point not to cause them myself, and second, I can generally solve them although they really frost my flakes at first. Getting last minute curve balls is a sucky thing but looking at the positive side of it - it takes skilled people to deal with them! (So if you have your share of them in life, God must find you trustworthy of solving them.) We're supposed to rejoice in everything, so if you are in this boat, you can rejoice in the fact that God considers you a solution.

I've found people who plan ahead are in short supply in the world. Sometimes as a pastor it's frustrating because the ministry is your work and laypeople don't take it as seriously, at least 95% of them don't because with most of them it's not "their life." With some people, a personal relationship with God is a priority, but being ultra diligent in their work for Him is not. So finding those who are 100% diligent in serving is not always possible or easy. As I was re-doing my work today, I had something from God's Word rolling through my mind... Proverbs 22:29 "Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings..." I know I'm a woman and all... (believe me I know) but I see the principle here as being for man or woman. If you are diligent in your business, God will honor you. That means God honors people who plan ahead, who are diligent, who do what they say they will, work hard, don't spring stuff at the last minute, etc. I plan on standing before kings. (I do stand before the King of Kings everyday) but I believe God brings you into a place of greater honor by being diligent. I've seen it proven in the past in my life and have no designs on changing. Some people will stand before kings - some won't. I don't just plan on standing before them, I plan on hanging out with them! :-)

I had my appointment with Ada today. I don't even like to call it an appointment anymore because it's more like an incredible "girls only time". It's a time that we can really pour our hearts out, confide, share good things and bad, and catch up. I don't know what I did before I knew her. (Well, had crappy hair that's what - but I mean, besides that...) LOL

Church went really well tonight. We had so many visitors. I had a feeling that would happen. We began our "Courageous Parenting" series tonight. One thing most people are crying out for is help and hope with their kids. It's the hardest thing (parenting) that anyone will ever tackle and no one goes to school for it. By the time they are finally all raised you think you know something. (and you do - a lot more than those who have yet to do it or are starting out - and you just wish you knew all that when you started!) As for me I still don't know it all, far from it. I realize just how much help we all need who are in this role of parent and if I can encourage someone else, it's my joy to do so. We had a good attendance and although the teaching was packed time-wise tonight and we didn't get to any questions/answers I could tell by the response that they were loving it. No sooner did I get home tonight than I got an e-mail from Michelle saying, "I ABSOLUTELY LOVED TONIGHT! CAN'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT WEEK!" That was very encouraging.

My feet were hurting and I was so ready to go home and rest but we needed to grocery shop. The boys and Stephen came home (Larry told Stephen last night we are claiming him on our income taxes this year! ha ha! Seriously, he is here more days/nights than not...) and Larry, SR and I went to the store. I got a bunch of stuff to make some WW meals the next few nights and everything to make homemade salsa. I know I needed it like a hole in the head, but I came home tonight, put my comfy shoes on and proceeded to chop up everything for salsa. Tons of tomatoes (actually about 8), peppers, scallions, fresh cilantro, oregano, garlic cloves and a bunch of other stuff. By the time I was done making it I was too tired to eat it but Jordan came in and got a big bowl. I'll eat some after work tomorrow when I'm making dinner. It doesn't matter how much of it you eat - there are no WW points to it. Finally got the kitchen cleaned up, put in another load of laundry, and helped Savanna to soak her feet. She hurt one of her toes again yesterday. It always happens because she hates wearing shoes and goes without them too much. So I soaked her feet in salts and bandaged it up for her. I had to make a Dr.'s appt for Dustin today. He has an ear/throat infection and my homemade remedies have not worked the past few days, so here we go to the doc's tomorrow and I'll be so glad to see him all better. I thought he was getting better and he did not say otherwise last night or he would have been at the Dr.'s yesterday or this morning but he told me too late to act on it.

Today Cathy and I made all the arrangements for us to take the life coaching group to my friend, Pastor Andrea Fruscella's (co-pastor of First Coast Christian Center, Jacksonville, FL) upcoming women's conference, called "You Go Girl!" (see her website at www.YouGoGirl2007.org.) It worked out for me to take them this month and I am so excited. Andrea is a great woman of God and in fact she's speaking at our upcoming "Unstoppable" Conference. I am looking forward to her conference - among many other things such as her speaking, Janet Paschal will be the special music guest.

So I mentioned before that we are still a one car family. I know it's frustrating at times for Larry and the kids with the incredible amount of juggling we do now, but I am glad they are understanding that I'm just not ready. We will soon be coming up on two months without the car. I was wanting a part of it to keep with me and thought hard about what that would be. Ada told me to go take the rearview mirror. I thought "what in the heck would I do with it?" I couldn't come up with anything that seemed right, so I settled on just having my license plate (which it special in itself) and the automatic lock key chain. I have the key chain and truthfully some days I just take it out and press the lock/unlock button just for old times sake. I close my eyes, press it and just imagine the car is still in the driveway. Then I open my eyes and see...nothing there. To his credit, Larry hasn't pushed me yet or asked me point blank to go on a car lot. I am surprised we've made it this far. He has shown me at least 25 cars either by sending me emails with links, or bringing me newspapers, or just pointing to a car as we drive. But that has been the extent. And for that I am ever grateful. Some things like that really make me love him more. Yesterday he IM'd me and told me he found another special place he can't wait to take me to. I said, "oh goodie, I'm ready!" We just came back from Naples and yet I am already longing for the next time. We're plotting our next time away together already, and I shall count the days until.

By the way, somebody told me today that it has hit 101 degrees a few times the past few weeks. My word! I knew it seemed A LOT hotter than it ever did before. I haven't gone out to exercise at all, nor sit on my patio. No desire. I go out, water my lemon and lime trees and come right in. Can't wait til I can get back on the patio again to swing on my swing and read my Bible there. But until then, my rocking chair in my room is fine. :-) Time to do more than just put my feet up...time to shut my eyes and get some real rest. Tomorrow is another great day. The best is truly yet to come. I shall stand before kings. How about you?

Prophetic Photoshop

Two weeks ago in preparing for my message for Sunday morning in our "Revolution" series, I began to feel that what the church needed during this month was something to keep us on the same page every day. The Lord prompted me to write a devotional to go along with the message - a "31 Day Revolution" devotional. So on July 1 we started the devo as a church. I wrote the devotional and Pastor Lindsay made it into a book that she printed for each person to take home with them that Sunday morning. My God-inspired goal was to get the people to fall in love with God more than ever, and to crave the "secret place." I wanted them - each of them - to grasp the joy and refreshment of the life-giving, rich and full things that God speaks to me every day in the secret place. I am believing that our people will come into the fullness of God such as they have never experienced before.

As soon as we started on the 31 day revolution journal July 1, my time in the secret place seemed to become blase. I still spent time with God, it was just that during that time it seemed nothing revolutionary happened.

As the writer of the 31 day journal, I've already gone through it personally. However, as part of "staying on page" with the rest of the church, I'll do it this month and in addition to that also continue with what I normally do. As I said before, I haven't really had any revelatory things to share the past week or two as what I have been reading, pondering and praying has not been all that enlightening. It has been, rather, a time of steady plodding. However, steady plodding is good. I've learned we shouldn't fear the mundane, for the miraculous at times comes as we stay faithful in the mundane. What should be feared is a slipping away - a failure to plod in what we see as the uninteresting times, because that is what causes everything to eventually unravel in our lives. Well, today I transitioned from that which seemed banal to that which became a revelation, or should I say - a vision.

Today is my day to work from home. I get more done on Tuesdays than any other. The majority of my church work gets done on Tues, as does my home work unless the church work is just over the top that week. Being away from phone calls and office life lends itself to me getting most of my written church projects done. I started doing that when I was the only one at the office in there answering the phones at one time, and took Tuesdays at home and let the other pastors answer the phone so I could get my computer work done without hindrance. Once we hired people for the office once more, I kept doing this because I saw how valuable it was. Anyway, this morning I did as I usually do on Tuesdays. I got up, bathed, dressed and got ready for the day and then began getting all my computer stuff done. Took some phone calls (I still get them even though I'm home but I only have mine to deal with and no extra calls, meetings or walk ins), and after getting that work done I cleaned the bathroom and did a load of clothes. Finally when I had wound down from all that, I decided to have some "secret place" time early (I usually do it at sunset or late night) because my house was still quiet.

Today as I opened the Word, I began reading I John where I am this week. Then reading Secrets of the Secret Place, and then Come Away My Beloved. Through all three, God gave me a new perspective on being HIS CHILD. I had some new thoughts on this that I can't even truly articulate yet (maybe future posts I'll have it nailed down enough in my brain to expound) but suffice it to say God got through to my head and my heart just how perfect of a parent He is. How He would do anything to save me (and did), to help me, to lead, guide, direct me.

A passage I read today in Come Away My Beloved says this:

"For you are precious in My sight, O my child. I know you by name, for you are not the child of a stranger."

"You face each new day with me at your side. Never forget I am there. You meet every circumstance that you face with my arm outstretched to fight for you."

"It is not your cooperation I have asked for, but your submission..."

"...and if I bring you through the river in summer, you shall not fear to trust me in flood time."

Okay, without getting too mystical on you here, I was laying outstretched reading this and getting ready to go before the Lord in prayer and suddenly he gave me a vision. He doesn't do that too much - rarely if ever. But before I could even utter a word in prayer all of a sudden I see in the spirit a huge arm (I mean huge) above Tampa, above America, above the earth and it is so huge but yet it can come down upon the earth and do intricate things without knocking anything over it doesn't want to. It was like a hand coming down on a board game in progress. You know how sometimes in Monopoly or whatever you knock over pieces? Well, this hand did not do that. It could bring itself down on Tampa, America and the world, and do exactly, intricately whatever it wanted to do. With just the slight touch of it's finger, something would move out of the way and nothing else would move. It was huge arm yet not clumsy. And then suddenly I saw some very particular things (things only I would know about my life and what concerns it) and with some of those things I saw God just literally "pinging" things out of the way - mountains in my way, obstacles. When he zapped them away by the touch of a finger it didn't take out anything else around it - it was like it was perfectly moved out of tight spaces. There was no such thing as "between a rock and a hard place" to this hand. And then there were things that God gathered in, and delivered to me with the strength of his hand. Whereas I would have had to work and work (and probably never get most of them because in my own strength only but a few of these things would have been attainable without the supernatural) yet God in a moment's time gathered up everything I needed, and succinctly delivered it to me. As I saw that in my spirit, and His hand so perfectly came to rest upon me, I sensed Him say to me, "...and that, my child...is how it works." WOW.

From now on when I see concerns of mine in my mind's eye, my next picture that I am going to call up will be that giant arm coming down wherever I'm at, and the huge hand, going forth to work on my behalf, moving some things out of the way, gathering other things to present to me...His child. His daughter.

God has given me a new picture. A prophetic picture. I love when God does things in His prophetic photoshop.

Today I've gone from blase plodding to revolutionary revelation.

Hurry and get something done - you might get hit by a car tomorrow.

“In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish.” - Donald Trump

I read this today and it struck a chord with me. I have heard it said that nobody becomes well known or is remembered for what you're going to do. I guess yet another way to say it is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

And finally ..."faith without works is dead..." James 2:26

I love the way different authors put this and I've always had a realization of the importance of it in my life. Not that I've been perfect. I have just always been aware of the fact that nobody is going to give me any brownie points for what I intend to do.

Everywhere I turn, there are friends of mine who say things like, "Someday I should to write a book..." or

"I've thought about hosting a conference..." or

"my husband and I need to start dating and improve our relationship..."

but until they do, none of it really means diddly squat. It's all just words breathed out into the air that evaporate.

When I read a book on writing by Jim Denney last summer he talked about the difference between one being called to write and one who is not. He mentioned that there are scores of people who say, "One day I should write a book," yet a select group of called people who actually write books whether anyone will read them or not - they are driven, morning - noon - and night to write. It is a call deep in the soul of them that just won't relent, won't let go. When I read his book it was with tears streaming down my face that I realized so many things, namely that I am as called to write as I am to full time church ministry and that everything full time writers do, I am already doing with very few exceptions. To me it was just "life"...I didn't know one had to read about it to start doing it - it was just instinctive to me.

People always ask me how certain things have come about in my life and really at the heart of it is this - when I get an idea, I immediately set on making it a reality and doing whatever I have to do to make it happen. Staying up late or rising early is of no consequence. Sacrificing is a given. Not waiting for somebody to push me is essential. If you have to have somebody motivate you to do something you won't accomplish anything of much grandeur on this earth. Because the truth of the matter is, 99% of people don't want you succeeding them. It's a rare find just to find a friend who will jump up and down with you and celebrate your successes without turning green. No friend, if you are going to get something done it's probably going to be running along on your own fuel with a giant dose of help and direction from the Holy Ghost.

Dr. Lee always tells us that all we have to go on is what a person has DONE, not what they tell you they are GOING to do. That has stuck with me from the moment he said it. I want to be a person that people can give a list if asked of all that I've accomplished in life and for God's glory, not stand at my grave and wistfully say, "she had so many plans, so many goals..."

Over the 40 years I've lived so far many people have told me, "SLOW DOWN, honey. You have a lifetime to pursue things and to accomplish." The same people preach sermons where they say, "Tomorrow is not guaranteed! Today is the day of salvation! (Years ago as the piano and organ played on Sunday nights, we always heard, "One of you might leave this service tonight and be hit by a car!" Of course we were all terrified. I remember as a kid being saved yet still scared to death...." I stood there during altar call thinking, "maybe it's ME who will get hit by the car!" I'd bite my nails all the way out of that service! (Stop laughing, Kim) :-)

Anyway my point is this... you can't have it both ways. Either you have all the time in the world to get stuff done, or life is truly short. I tend to go with what the Bible says. And it says that life is but a vapor. Truly no one is guaranteed tomorrow. We don't have a bunch of time to get things accomplished. Growing up in a fiery Pentecostal atmosphere is what has driven me somewhat. When I was growing up they preached hell fire and brimstone like truly we could be zapped off the earth tomorrow. While that did scare me a bit growing up it also did something else for me. It made me feel as if time was running out so much that I needed to hurry up and get everything done that was in my heart to do. While now I don't serve the Lord because I'm afraid of being hit by a car (I've matured a bit and realized the main reason we should accept and serve him is not because we are afraid, but because we realize how much he loves us - as the Bible says, it's "His kindness that leads us to repentance...") I still have the drive within me to hurry and accomplish because the time is short.

I don't wait to write a book.

I don't wait to host a conference.

I don't wait to date my husband (or wear the Victoria's Secret clothes once I have a 'perfect body'!)

Because if I don't act NOW I might not ever get the chance. And when a dream is birthed in my heart, I want to chase it with all my might. Just this week, three new ideas/dreams were birthed in my heart. They all go along with my life goals. (My written out life goals/vision for my life help me define what dreams I should pursue and what will bring me the greatest return during this time I have on earth.) I'm already working on them - doing tangible things to bring it about.

Reading this quote from Donald Trump I've also realized a few things I let slip through the cracks. Things I need to pick up...and complete. So I will.

NOW IS THE TIME to pursue. NOW is the time to chase God with all our might.

Now is the time to LOVE WITH ALL OUR HEART.

Now is the time to pursue our dreams.

Nobody cares about all my initiatives unless I actually accomplish them with excellence.

Quick! The proof of desire is in your pursuit! Cars are out there in abundance on the roads, (except mine, LOL!) so START ACCOMPLISHING! Seize the day!

Little things

Today Larry and I slept in. He really needed to since he got home at 4:00 am from doing the show. I just liked to be next to him for a few more hours. I can't wait for tonight because we will actually go to sleep at the same time. Until he gets home I sleep very lightly when he's gone, just waiting to hear the door open. But I don't mind. It's like this...any time my husband gets an opportunity to do something for the Lord I am 100% for it. No question. Nothing to "think about". Just, 'GO!" There has never been a thought in my mind as to whether he should do something spiritual, or discontented feelings within (or without). The only things we have ever really come to blows with are recreational things when they separate us too much. And then we somehow find common ground again. It's gotten easier as the kids have gotten older, and as we have had more money. (If they weren't old enough to stay by themselves, I could pay someone to stay with them while I did a "girl thing" when Larry was doing something else.)

Since we were caught up totally on work for the weekend, we got to do some things for home. We had to drop Savanna off at Nate's birthday party at Tampa lanes and then we went to lunch together and to Lowe's to get a bunch of stuff for the house with some anniversary money that some friends blessed us with. Yippee! We finished shopping and SR called to say she was going to Morgan's to spend the night. So we got Dustin from work and came on home and started setting up the things we got this afternoon for the house and I finished cooking stuff for tomorrow night's meeting.

Among other things today, I got a lime tree. So now that means I have a tangerine, lemon, and lime tree. I really like the idea of having my own fresh fruit, especially when I'm sticking to weight watchers (which I should be all the time!) it helps.

I haven't been out on the patio lately to do my devotions - it's WAY too hot. I'm staying in the air 99% of the time. Soon I will post what God is speaking to me about.

We still have some more to do on the house (just taking a momentary break to sit down and have an iced tea... but when we're done with working I think I'm going to take a soak in my tub (inside, not out...) and maybe snuggle up and watch a movie with Larry or something equally relaxing.

Today was just a "regular" day with small things that happened - nothing "huge" but a nice day. The other day on my desk calendar, it said, "One day you will look back on the little things in life and realize they were the big things." Perhaps.

That takes the cake!

Last night Larry took Savanna to the studio with him to do the show. She did great - was quiet the whole time. He let her pick the songs/videos for the show. When she got tired of watching him do the show she wrote in her book. Finally at 2:30 am she went to sleep on the blanket and pillow she had brought. Here are some photos of her. She had a great time on the set and he took a few pictures of her there.

In addition to grocery shopping and cooking for a meeting we are having this weekend, Savanna and I cleaned the laundry room out and threw half the stuff away that was in there. I don't know why but I am motivated to clean a bunch of stuff out and re-organize. I have a new thought. Every time we have ever moved, and I have thrown half our stuff out and packed up, I have thought, "why didn't I do this a long time ago?" It's such a better way to live. Well, we are not moving. Far from it - I'm real settled here. But I am just tired of stuff we don't need. It's hard to get rid of things b/c Larry is such a pack rat, but I am able to get it done when I persevere, even though I have to sneak sometimes in throwing a few things away! :) Anyway - we are doing a lot of cleaning and re-organizing.

So Savanna had such a good time last night at the studio with her daddy, she went with him again tonight. He does the show this evening and then again Monday evening.

Tonight I had a girls night out. I went with Cathy, Misty and "Grandma" (Misty's) to see Evening. What a great movie! We loved it. Lots of tears. The theater was mostly filled with women but a few men. The funniest thing happened at the end on the way out. When the credits came up and we were leaving, we heard a man say, "I've seen a lot of movies in my time, but that one takes the cake!" He didn't mean it in a good way. He was frustrated. He obviously had NO IDEA what this movie was about. He was clueless. We started laughing and left and just couldn't get over his attitude. We went to Panera afterwards and were still laughing going, "that takes the cake!"

We got to Panera just as they were closing. They had already locked the door but they opened it back up and let us in. We ordered pastries and coffees, and sat for a while and ate and talked, mostly about how we related to the movie. Good stuff...it took the cake!

Larry hosting America's Prayer Meeting

Larry will be hosting America's Prayer Meeting on CTN, SkyAngel2, which is all over the nation - so check local listings and if you can't get it on your TV, go to http://www.ctnonline.com/. Once you get to the website, go all the way down to the bottom right hand corner and click on "LIVE WEBCAST." The show is on at midnight each night. Larry is hosting tonight (July 5), tomorrow, and Monday. He is the periodic guest host.

Check it out tonight and see my hot babe as he leads America in prayer. :-)

Oh by the way, we always have a "word of the night" that he lets me know he's thinking of me. Tonight the word is "welcome."

He always takes somebody with him when he hosts, just for company. (They don't say anything, they just sit quietly in the studio for 3 hours while he does the show and they watch him.) Toinght he took Savanna. She went in her jammies with her little notebook to write in. She is writing a book right now. It's about a boy who is lost and keeps meeting weird girls or something like that. Anyway, he took her for a burger to Wendy's on the way and she's all set. She has been wanting to go with him for a long time and he didn't know if she could handle the 3 hours, but they are giving it a try.

As for me I have just listened to three preaching podcasts while I cleaned out our walk in closet. I have been dreading this but I'm so glad it's done. A few times a year I have to completely organize it. Tonight was the night. The boys and Stephen are out at the movies. I have the house to myself. Since I have listened to three sermons and am totally pumped up on the Word, I'm going to do my prayer list, and then watch Larry for a while on TV and go to bed til I can't stay up anymore. (Show goes from midnight to 3 am.)

Five things that make me real happy about today:

1) My closet is CLEAN!

2) I got my ring back from Littman's today! That makes me happy. It's now perfectly sized.

3) I got my work done somehow even though we didn't have phones, internet, copier, or really anything at the office this week. However I'm making good time.

4) Things are coming along for UNSTOPPABLE. I have the greatest friend in the world!

5) This peach iced tea I made is tasting really good right now.

Off to pray - g'night all.

Larry's gift

So the other day I shared what Larry got me for our 20th anniversary - a platinum/diamond anniversary ring. And I said he was getting golf stuff from me.

Well for Father's Day the kids and I got him golf shoes. He loved them! And for our anniversary this year, I got him... (drumroll please...)

A set of Callaway golf clubs!

He's in heaven! And that's how every husband like him SHOULD be, right?

After all we've been through together and made it through the past 20 years, I wish I could give him so much more. I have the next 20 years to save up for the next thing. Actually the next five, because I want to do something special at 25. And really, we should celebrate every anniversary in a big way because it's such a significant thing.

Recently I was reading the blog of a pastor who has been married for many years and they had a special anniversary this year and said they didn't even get to celebrate it until weeks later, nor did they even exchange gifts until weeks had past because they were too busy ministering to other people. I was really sad to hear that. And may we never, never, never fall into that. While I love the ministry the fact of the matter is, a lot of people I've ministered to have come and gone. And nobody has ever been to me what this man has. So on our anniversary? I'm all his.

ATTENTION ALL WOMEN IN MINISTRY

The conference of a lifetime is coming up for women who are living and breathing ministry! We are hosting the "Unstoppable" conference here in Tampa Bay, September 13-15 for women pastors, pastor's wives, women missionaries, evangelists, Christian educators...and more! This event will be held at the Hilton Garden Inn - Tampa North.

As a woman minister and pastor’s wife for twenty years thus far, I myself receive countless flyers and letters about conferences in the mail. Although I’m sure the majority of them are worth my time and attention, the reality is, I only have time and money to take advantage of just a few. I’m sure it’s the same for you.

In planning a conference, I realize for women to attend, it really has to be worthwhile…something they come away from saying, “that changed my life, and I can’t wait to go back again!” I’ve experienced that with a handful of conferences in my life, and at this time God has called me to develop something for women in the ministry that will be such a gathering. Check out our conference brochures below and then I'll come back for more details...

After praying about this for quite a number of years and being encouraged by many friends and fellow colleagues to do this, I’m bringing together some of the most powerful women of God that are walking the planet, to speak into our lives during one UNFORGETTABLE weekend. We aren’t just going to talk about how to put on a great tea party (although I do like doing that!) And we’re not going to just eat chocolate (although I love doing that too!!!) We’re going to talk about relevant ministry topics such as how in the world you not only survive a church split, but how you THRIVE through it! We’re going to talk about managing marriage, motherhood and ministry all at the same time. We’re going to talk about breaking through fear and intimidation to fulfill the call of God on your life. We’re going to talk about co-pastoring for those who have interest in this type of ministry. This is one of the things people ask me about all the time and at Unstoppable, we’re going to talk about the nuts and bolts, the day to day life of co-pastoring. We’re going to talk about staff issues. There will be a panel discussion and q & a with our speakers! We’re going to talk about mentoring.

Speaking of mentoring, you are going to see one model of it right up close at this conference. For the past five years, I’ve been mentoring a young woman in our church, Lindsay Barta, who is now a pastor on our staff. She will be teaching about armorbearing and being the best staffer your pastor ever had. Working together in a “Paul/Timothy” type relationship these past five years, it was a natural step for me to say, “Lindsay, as a next step, I want you to walk alongside me in co-hosting this conference.” It’s been a dream we’ve had for a while now, and we’ve had some of the most fun of our lives planning it. We can’t wait to share it with you, so…

We would advise that you register as quickly as you can. We’ve been talking this up with our friends in ministry. All of our speakers are very excited and have shared it with their circle in ministry. Women are already excited about Unstoppable, and regrettably, we expect to have to limit registration due to space. So please, if you have any intention of attending Unstoppable, do something about it asap.

The final registration date is August 23.

But we hope to hear from you sooner! Registration will be made with us directly for the conference. To receive a registration form, e-mail me at PastorDeanna@aol.com or unstoppable@northsideag.org. All hotel arrangements will be made on your own with the Hilton Garden Inn, Tampa North.

Make sure you tell them you are with Unstoppable to receive the special rate. Everything kicks off on Thursday night at 7 pm with an incredible banquet, praise and worship, and our first speaker for the conference.

You can count on coming away from Unstoppable…
with a new network of friends in ministry
with support you might not have had before
empowered for ministry
refreshed in the presence of God
encouraged by friends who understand what you’re going through
with practical answers to ministry issues you’re facing
having laughed a whole lot
validated in your call
and so much more!

More than anything else, you are going to be EMPOWERED to run the race and not quit! YOU ARE GOD’S UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN!!!

p.s. The Hilton Garden Inn will prove to be very relaxing for you with beautiful guest rooms, a heated pool, Jacuzzi, wireless internet, and more. The opening night of this event features a delicious banquet that we will share together, included in the cost of your registration. After that, there is a great restaurant on site as well as many restaurants near the hotel property.

Home but not normal

So we're home again today and started on a new week - but things are not feeling normal yet. I'm still re-cooping from getting back from Naples and being slammed with stuff as soon as we got home. On Sunday we had a full day of church which although it was really good, was just your typical Sunday that is "go-go-go" without a rest. We had church, then went to lunch with the Torres family at Terra Sur (I love that place!) and enjoyed wonderful company and conversation. Then we went from there to Sunday night of ministry with couples, then stayed real late afterwards talking to a few couples in some more wonderful fellowship.

A storm came Saturday night and lightening hit and zapped out a bunch of our stuff including TV's projectors, the internet, our server, phones, etc. Lots will have to be replaced. We have insurance so we are hoping to get a great upgrade on everything! (Pastor T even has plasma TV's in mind to replace the ones in the fellowship hall. The ones we have are really nice but who knows this could be an incredible "next level" blessing from God.) The thing is though, we were working today without phones and internet which was CRAZY. Sunday we got power almost just in time for church. Thankfully that was solved, but at the office half of what we needed to do could not be done. We took an early lunch and had staff meeting out because the thing was, we were so handicapped without our phones or internet. We are amazed now at how much of our work has to be transacted on line. It's amazing. Even projects we send back and forth between staffers - it's just incredible how much we do the internet.

We finished up work at the office as much as we could and then Larry and I headed over to University Mall to drop off my ring at Littman's to be sized. When he got it for me it was a standard size 7 but I wear a 5, with my skinny fingers. Even when the rest of me was large, my fingers were always small. I have been wearing my ring each day however I have had to be careful and hang onto it for dear life because it's so loose. I miss it so much. I can't wait to have it back. We are supposed to get it Thursday afternoon. They said with the holiday they will try their best. Truthfully that ring means more to me now than my wedding rings. The thing is - when Larry married me he didn't know what he was getting into, really. But now after 20 years he really knows me and still loves and adores me. Giving me this new ring means, "I still love you and cherish you..." and I am delighted by that.

Tonight I did some research for a trip we are going to take as a family. It is a joy to work on it and dream about what it will be like for us.

Dealt with talking with the kids about a lot of things tonight once I got home...late night of talking about stuff but didn't get to cook dinner (just ate leftovers) and no time for anything else of consequence. Not really a normal day, but it's good to be home.

Larry withdrawals...

Today was a very good day in the house at Northside. I was very pleased with how the service went this morning and also our couples night of ministry tonight.

I only had about 3 hours sleep last night - for some reason even though it was my first night home and my bed felt wonderful - I was just getting back into routine and just couldn't sleep. But God is faithful to empower at times like that. It's not like I was trying to stay up - and I wasn't worried or anything, just dealing with general insomnia. At times like that, Savanna says, "Mommy, you need Lunesta!" Kids these days...

Did I mention I love Larry?

God talked to me about something last night regarding that. I don't tell him enough that I love him. I came to that shocking revelation. You see, it always feels like I'm saying it enough because I do say it everyday but I realize most times I say it second. He's the first most times to say I love you, and I respond back, "I love you too..." It's not that I don't say it or don't mean it - just that most times he beats me to the punch. So I have to come up with times I know he's not going to say it to me so I can be the first to say it to him.

I miss him already. I know that's ridiculous on some counts - I mean, I've been with him all day today (around others) however it's just a stark difference from how the past 4 days has been. I love having that much Larry. I feel like I'm going through withdrawals.