Nail emergency

Yesterday I had a "nail emergency." Yeah, I know, I know. Sounds ridiculous. Only women would understand. Speaking of church "for men only" I have been thinking - if we had church "for women only" we could provide an on site nail tech. People could get fills, mani's or pedi's while they are there. :-) (I know, that's about as ridiculous as....church for men!)

Anyway, yesterday I did have a nail emergency. My husband laughs at the thought but truly there is such a thing.

When I woke up yesterday I noticed one of my nails was lifting off and a little water got underneath so I thought, "ugh, on a Sunday!" I made it through the morning service without doing anything about it but I thanked God I had extra time yesterday before evening service. After lunch I headed over to my nail place. You would have thought the second coming had arrived.

"Deeeeeeena! Whachoo doooeen heeere? It Sundaaaeeee! Yoo nah ah churcsh?"

I assured them...yes indeed, it was Sunday...I did have church, in fact I was headed back there. I had not resigned. Jesus is still Lord. I just had a...nail emergency.

So I sat there and got a fill while watching "Deja Vu" (very intriguing movie)...got a beautiful marble design (pink and black, thank you!) and headed back home to get ready for church.

I've been thinking...what are some things we would have if we had exclusive "church for women"? According to some men out there, we already have "church for women". But I don't think so. If I were going to be so selfish as to demand church just for my gender, I'm sure a few changes would be made.

In addition to the onsite mani's and pedi's, why not go with chocolate communion wafers?

Pink pews?

Instead of a Christian bookstore on site, we could have a purse boutique on site.

And I for one would like to have at least one man in the place. Perhaps Sawyer from Lost to give the announcements by video. Nothing like a little eye candy in church. :-)

Ridiculous? Yes, but I make the point again, no more ridiculous than "church for men."

End to a busy weekend...

Tonight we capped off a very busy weekend at Northside, with a concert with Vicki Yohe. We enjoy her so much. I've found she's not just an anointed singer, she's just a really personable and kind person. I love her sister Terri, too. Sweet just like her and she can sing to beat the band. Here are some photos of our time with them tonight...

Zonked

This has been a good weekend but I can't wait to get back to my work week Monday at the church for some rest. :-) Really I am not kidding when I say that. It has been a good weekend but it's been a long time since I've had any hours off and when that happens I start getting antsy, like the walls are closing in. Although it will be a while til' my next day off at least I will have some evening hours to rest and regroup during the week...if I determine to take them. It's also a night to definitely get at least 7 hours sleep.

We had fine arts this weekend and went to see all the kids compete. They did awesome! They are going to nationals and several placed in different categories, including Jordan for short sermon, and Dustin for web design and short story. I'm so proud of all of them.

Today we had Lindsay's graduation and lunch, then came home to get all the loose ends tied up for tomorrow's service. In addition to getting all the remaining stuff set for church tomorrow that remained undone, making calls, and all that jazz, I got Sunday's lunch prepared. My house sits uncleaned at all as I haven't been home. As much as it needs to get done, I just can't push myself this week to do it, other than necessities. I have found that when I have a weekend or Friday like this, I have to catch up and make up for it somehow.

We did spend some time with Keith and Joy at fine arts...just went out with them for a coke...and caught up. Hasn't been long since we've been together but even a week that goes by is a lot to catch up on.

Time to go to sleep. I am zonked and want a full night tonight.

Church for Men Only

After my reprint of my friend, Pastor Leanne Weber's blog on the Feminization of the Christian Church, I see that my friend Pastor Lisa Alexander also has a blog on the subject of a new church that is...for men only. She got her info from this article here.

Things really get stranger day by day when it comes to this.

Here's my take. There are just as many flowers in the church now as there were 100 years ago. Probably even less, in many cases. There are just as many kleenex boxes as there were years ago. Before that people took their hankies to church There has always been group signing in church. For as long as there has been church, singing has been part of worship.

So why this current uprising that the church is too feminine becuase of this stuff? Seems to me that a few men are getting a little weak and whiney over something that men of previous generations just accepted as a part of most churches and didn't allow to hinder their participation.

Quite truthfully, the church is not completely feminized. If it were completely feminized as so many right now are declaring it to be there would be quite a few changes to be made...

Get rid of the urinals...

Get a lot more women pastors...

Get a lot more women deacons....

Just as a starting point.

The Feminization of the Christian Church

This blog was written a while back by my friend, Pastor Leanne Weber, on her daily blog. I'm copying it with her permission here. It's excellent. I rarely if ever print somebody else's entire blog post here on mine, but I make an exception when I find something, well...exceptional. And this is something I believe qualifies. It must have struck a chord out there because in short order, she had a comment from Brad Stine himself with a rebuttal about it, on her blog. Here are Pastor Leanne's thoughts on this topic...

"The Feminization of the Christian Church"...

By Rev. Leanne Weber

I hear that phrase thrown around quite a bit. That the church has become "feminized." That Christian men have become "sissified." But no one can really give me a clearcut definition of what that means.

Are we talking about men who don't grunt, scratch, and watch every sport on TV known to man? Do we mean men who would rather spend a night at the opera than at a monster truck rally? [Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with sports or monster trucks (I personally love watching the giant trucks smash the tiny little cars!).] Are we talking about men who defy the stereotypical "man" image - men who put the toilet seat back down for their wives? Men who can cook? Who realize that both they and their wives share a home, contribute to the weekly mess that piles up, and therefore, should share the responsibilities of cleaning up said mess?

Why is it that a woman can put on a sports jersey, paint her face whatever team colors she prefers, and watch a football game with her husband, and people think that's just fine - and even encourage it, but if a man accompanies his wife on a shopping trip or to the theatre, he gets comments like, "Boy, she's got you whipped!"

Maybe men are too "feminized" when it comes to worship. We emotionally-charged women should be the ones crying, on our faces before God, while our husbands stand there stone-silent and expressionless. It's really a lose-lose situation. If a man attends church and gets involved, then he's "feminized" or "sissified." Coerced into service by his pushy wife. If he stays home like the manly man he's supposed to be, then he's backslidden and we pray for his soul.

Why can't John Eldredge, Brad Stine, and all the rest just let our men be who they are? Who came up with the definition of what a man or a woman is "supposed to" be? I prayed for a husband who was not a sports fan...who did not go out hunting and fishing...someone who would be my companion and enjoy the same things I enjoyed. And God gave that man to me. Of course we have some separate interests - we are not clones of each other!! But so stinkin' what if my husband likes to watch ice dancing with me? Who really cares if directing a theatrical production fills him with more adrenaline than attending a football game? What skin is it off anyone's nose? He's exactly what I asked God for, and I, for one, would not be happy if he went to a "Godmen" or "Promise Keepers" rally and came back all excited about going fishing with the boys! Promoters of these rallies say that wives are so happy and thrilled when their husbands come home and "take leadership" and stop being "sissies."Well...here's one wife that they do NOT speak for!!

My husband and I are both adults - according to God's Word, we are spiritual equals, and together, work to run our household. Neither of us lording it over the other. When we have children, they will see us as a unified team, and they will not live in a house where one person's word rules - mine OR his! And until someone can give me a clearcut definition of how the church has been "sissified" - other than some lame diatribe about flowers decorating the sanctuary (To me, flowers celebrate the beauty of God's creation - what is so wrong with a man appreciating that? Would these people prefer that we decorate with gun racks and deer heads? What does that say about our church? About our God?) - then I guess my husband and I will just keep doing whatever it is that we do. Because it seems to be working quite well!!!

Blessing #4

Today's blessing that I would like to bring to you is a friend, Pastor Lisa Alexander, co-pastor of Zion Tabernacle Church, Houston, Texas. Together with her husband, Pastor Elgin Alexander, she pastors this new and exploding church plant. AMAZING things are happening at their church. I get so excited when I hear the reports about it.

I met Lisa through my pastoring partners ministry and she has become a true blessing to me. I appreciate her wisdom, her encouragement, her zeal. Pastor Lisa is a great writer and I enjoy reading her blogs, her Myspace, and also just the things she writes to me personally. She is my accountability partner now with exercise.

I have appreciated Pastor Lisa for quite a while now but she's especially on my mind today because she called me.

How can you put a value on a person who says, "I'm praying for you"? The answer is, you can't. Although Pastor Lisa and I are long distance friends, there is no distance in prayer. There is no distance in sisters connecting, being there emotionally and spiritually for one another in good times and bad.

Pastor Lisa, you are a true blessing! I love you, girl!

Can we please talk about what we're FOR, not what we're AGAINST?

I have developed a habit of listening to preaching podcasts while I’m getting ready in the mornings. Every day I listen to a sermon on line. I listen to people preach who are famous, some not so famous, some who are personal friends. Some challenge me, some bring change to my life, some refresh me, and some flat out irritate me. Although I like to look at the positive, today I do want to mention what irritates me. Because truly, it’s the fact that some preachers do not focus on the positive! Negativity is my complaint.

Lately I’ve been listening to a preacher-acquaintance who has planted a church. He’s a great preacher and I enjoy listening to what he has to say, except for one thing. Each time he preaches, he casts a little vision for the church in each sermon. Now, I think that’s great. But the problem is the way in which he does that. Instead of talking about the positives of his church, he bashes everyone else “in comparison” to his new church. This is typically a paragraph out of every sermon he has preached for the past ten weeks. For anonymity’s sake, we will call his church “Northgate church” of Brooklyn, New York.

“Friends, when you come to Northgate church, you won’t find us serving up latte like some other churches. You’ll find us serving up the Holy Ghost! In fact, you won’t find a dead dried up atmosphere like the other churches in town. What you’ll find here at Northgate are people who are excited about Jesus! When people go to the other churches in Brooklyn, they’ll find people who don’t believe in healing anymore. But when you come to Northgate, you’ll find we aren’t like that. No, no! At Northgate, we’re not catering to people who just want to have a 20 minute sermon and run out the doors. Instead, we are committed to bring you the full counsel of God’s Word! You won’t just take your coffee and run like they do at the community church across town. We are committed to being different than all those other churches!”

I have listened to about ten of this pastor's recent sermons, and you probably wonder, “why?" Well the reason is, the pastor of this church IS a great preacher. Everything else he says minus the above paraphrased paragraph is mind-blowingly anointed. But each week you have to endure the negative paragraph about all these other churches. My thought is this…why couldn’t he just say:

“Friends, when you come to Northgate church, you’re going to experience the power of God! You’re going to find people who are excited about Jesus! You are going to find, there’s healing in the house! You’re going to hear God’s powerful, life changing Word! We are absolutely committed to you understanding God's Word and experiencing Him to the fullest!!!”

There…now isn’t that better? Same vision casting, minus the church bashing. My question is, why do people have to bash others in order to cast their vision? Simply state what you are FOR, not what you are AGAINST.

Incidentally, my own church, Northside, is remarkably what he describes his own church being. Although we do serve coffee, we also believe in healing, aren’t dead and dried up, bring the full counsel of God’s Word, and we certainly expect the Holy Ghost to show up. But I don’t need to bash somebody else for all that to happen. Just let the ministry speak for itself.

Why don’t I call this preacher and tell him this? Because it’s not my place to…he’s only a far away acquaintance (we’ve just met and shook hands a few times, we’re not really on a personal level where I would talk to him about something like that) but I hope God speaks to him about it. Because he’s one of the most dynamic preachers I’ve ever heard, and I would hate for something like this to turn anyone off from listening to him who doesn’t have the tenacity like I do to “take the meat – chuck the bone” and listen for his good points like I do.

Blessing #3

My son, Dustin Michael Shrodes (a.k.a. Chocki Wocki Souvlaki) is my third blessing I would like to talk about today.

I have tons of nicknames for my kids. I have heard it said before that the more nicknames a person has, the more they are loved. (good intentioned nicknames of course!) Well, I have a ton of them for my kids. So they must really be loved.

I appreciate my son so much because he has such a deep abiding love for God and His convictions are rock solid. He is just like his Daddy in the way that I know although he can sometimes be crazy, and is real humorous, he's got a great head on his shoulders. He will do great things in life but nothing kooky or unstable. He is one of those guys you just know is "a rock." He will grow to be a very solid man of God.

I don't believe manhood is about a certain age such as 18 or 21, or that it is arrived at by marriage. I only believe you can call someone a man when they take complete responsibility and are faithful and stable. While Dustin is still coming out of boyhood, He is already a young man of God and is on his way to being a powerful man of God. I am proud of him.

He graduates in a few weeks. He is ambivilent still a bit about his future, but I keep telling him to settle down. Exactly "what" he's doing is not as important as what he is personally becoming. Character is the most important thing to develop over position.

I give all the credit to God for the way he has turned out. I've made way too many mistakes to take any glory for it that's for sure. But I thank God every day for his grace over Dustin's life. Love covers a multitude of sins. Though I have not been perfect, I have loved him, and God has made up for the rest.

I'm proud of my Chocki.

More stuff about me you might or might not care about

Sometimes I just do these questionnares friends send me on line to do something non-sensical besides work and give myself a little break at night before I talk to Lar and turn in for the night. Work can become consuming on my mind and I just need a break to shut my mind off from it for a while and stuff...so here we go with another one of these that I got off of Pastor Leanne's blog...

FIRST NAME? Deanna

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No.

WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? About a month ago on a Wed night…a special friend helped me through it.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I used to like it a lot. But now that I type so much, my handwriting has gone down hill as I rarely do it except to sign things.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Roast beef

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? It depends on what I was looking for in a friendship. It takes a unique person to be friends with me and I realize that.

DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes, definitely. Keep me from going insane/postal

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No, I had them out when I was five.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Never

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Special K

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Depends how much time I have.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes, extremely.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Cold Stone Creamery’s Birthday Cake

RED OR PINK? Pink

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I get extremely angry. Fortunately I have learned how to cope with it and how to respond appropriately. Rather than explode, or suppress it, I have learned to remove myself from a situation immediately and go deal with it emotionally for at least 15 minutes or so when needed. But it’s still hard to deal with sometimes.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My grandmother.

WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I am not wearing pants nor shoes. I’m wearing a tshirt and panties which is my standard uniform when at home unless anyone is here but my family.

LAST THING YOU ATE? A mini cannoli (fortunately my weight watcher teacher does not have this blog URL)

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? A baseball game that Larry is watching as he lays beside me.

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Something very bright with a name that sounds like an OPI polish color. (“I’m Not Really a Waitress”?)

FAVORITE SMELL? Larry’s cologne (Curve) Just by smelling it I can practically have an… (never mind)

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My husband

THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? How passionate they are about the things of God.

FAVORITE DRINK? Tea

FAVORITE SPORT? I don't really watch sports, but I like to ride my bike, walk and skate.

EYE COLOR? Greenish brown

HAT SIZE? I think hats look stupid on me. I don’t wear them so I don’t know my size.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes. For 98% of all my waking hours.

FAVORITE FOOD? I really love most everything but my all time favorite is mashed potatoes.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.

SUMMER OR WINTER? I love it all now that I’m in FL

HUGS OR KISSES? Both and lots of them.

FAVORITE DESSERT? Pie of most kinds. Right now my fav is Marie Callenders Razzleberry, right out of the oven.

WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? When Wallflowers Dance by Angela Thomas and the Bible

WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Nothing

FAVORITE SOUNDS? Rain while I’m sleeping

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Rolling Stones

THE FURTHEST YOU’VE BEEN FROM HOME? Ecuador

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Norfolk, Virginia

ONE FOOD YOU CAN'T STAND? Liver

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU GOT YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE? 16

Blessing #2

I really have the best women's team on the planet! I enjoy them so much. They are dedicated women who love the Lord, love the ladies, and love me. They are great supporters and armor bearers and I am more excited about our team and what God is doing than I have ever been. Tonight we had our women's leadership meeting and we are right in the thick of planning for our biggest outreach of the year. Our meeting tonight was at my house and I decided to start with high tea and then have our devotional, planning and prayer time together.

First we had scones and I had made homemade devonshire cream to go with them. Then I made three kinds of tea sandwiches - my homemade chicken salad (which always gets rave reviews), egg salad, and parmesan pesto ham with provolone. Then we had three different desserts - mini cannoli's, chocolate filled tarts and strawberry filled tarts, all topped off with...Paris tea! Now doesn't THAT sound special? I just love doing things like this. I was hoping to do something special this week for them, dependent upon my schedule. And so...thankfully, it worked.

By the time we were done tonight, we had taken ourselves completely out of any box we had been in before, (I don't think we ever were - we just sort of keep trying to stay away from any boxes or limitations completely) and we made some changes to our outreach this year that will be different from any other.

I love spending time with leaders, dreaming about what we're going to do, planning it, executing it, and most of all...reaching people. Nothing like it.

Leanne's interview with...me!

My friend, Pastor Leanne, who is a WONDERFUL children's pastor at an A/G church in Wisconsin, sent me this today to fill out, just for fun. I thought I would post it here to share with all of you friends who are reading and might be sitting on the edge of your seat wondering such things as..."would Deanna hide evidence for me?" and "does she eat with utensils?" Find out this fascinating info right here my friends.

1. Ever punch someone in the face? No.

2. How old are you? 40 and fabulous.

3. Are you single or taken? Taken. Very taken.

4. Eat with your hands or utensils? Utensils except for a few things like a sandwich. I even eat pizza most times with utensils. I don’t like to get dirty. I know food isn’t dirt, but I just don’t like messiness. I have even tried to eat hot wings with a fork and knife and...yes, I eat ribs with a fork and knife if I even bother to eat them. Most times I don't order them because I don't want that gooey sticky feeling on my fingers not to mention having my hands smell like BBQ. I like my hands to smell like Bath and Body works Vanilla Sugar or Moonlight Path, not Sonny's BBQ.

5. Do you dream at night? Occasionally. Usually when I do it is not a good dream, so I don’t like to dream at night, only good dreams – wide awake, which are the best kind.

6. Ever seen a corpse? Yes. Being a pastor, I’ve been with people when they have died, or just shortly thereafter.

7. Have you ever wished someone dead? Out of immaturity as a kid, yes. As an adult, no. I realized as I grew up that first of all, it’s wrong to wish someone dead and only hurts me spiritually. But second, there is much greater retribution to let it go - to forgive them. This is the best revenge of all - giving it to God. I don't want people to die. If they have hurt me, my friends or family, I want them to actually stay alive and face God’s justice - first on earth, then in the afterlife. (I believe judgment begins here on earth for those who do not repent, and I believe we reap what we sow, so we all had better be careful.)

8. Do You Like Bush, the president? Yes I do. While not perfect, I think he’s faced issues that no other president has ever faced as of yet and has done the best job he knows how.

9. What’s your philosophy on life? and death? Just some of my philosophy/core values are: Life is but a vapor. You had better make the most of it. Follow your God-given dreams and don’t wait because you don’t know when your last day on earth might come. Love deeply. Forgive. Don't get bitter because it only hurts you. Be beautiful inside and out. I believe that life here on earth, although short, is a precious gift. I don’t believe in just ‘holding on for heaven.’ I believe in living to the fullest here on earth and then…enjoying your eternal reward which is an incredible icing on the cake!

10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know about it, what would it be? Well, I’m actually different in this regard I guess in that I really don’t care if people know about most things I do. But if I could do anything with you, Pastor Leanne, it would be to come spend some time with you at your church, see you in action, and share a fru fru coffee as you call it.

11. Do you trust the police? For the most part, yes. I believe just as with pastors, at least 95% of the police are honest, dedicated people who are making a difference in the world. Only a few are corrupt and the masses get a bad rap because of them.

12. Do you like country music? Love it. Absolutely love it.

13. What is your fondest memory of me? When you just got your new children's pastor position, and seeing the burden of the previous place lift off of you, and the joy of the new place and all it has brought to your life. I was very happy for you – still am.

14. If you could change anything about yourself would you? Sure. There are always need for improvements in all of us. I’m always working on something to change, especially to be more like Jesus.

15. Would you date me? Seeing as we both are women, and we both are already married? Uh, no.

16. What do you wear to sleep? Depends on the occasion. Sometimes a t-shirt and panties, sometimes flannels, sometimes lingerie, sometimes nothing. Depends on my mood and what is on the schedule.

17. Have you ever peed in a pool? No. That is absolutely disgusting to me as is peeing in the ocean. I will always go find a bathroom. I don't consider this being a clean freak, I think it's just...the right, normal thing to do. If I don't even eat pizza with my hands, do you really think I pee in a pool?

18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to? No.

19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? Whatever you wanted to do – you’re the one dying, not me.

20. What is your favorite thing about me? You are really all out dedicated to the ministry and so passionate about it and there’s nothing that attracts me to a friend more.

21. Do you think I'm attractive? Yes. And you are always further working on improving yourself which is something I’m always doing myself and think is really important.

22. What's your favorite color? Pink.

23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be? My grandmother.

24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you? I didn’t have a car until I was 38.

25. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? Sure.

What's right with my world...

So many times we want to look at what's wrong with the world, particularly with our personal world. Like anyone else, I face trials and as a matter of fact I'm in the midst of one right now. But I've learned at times like this it's much more beneficial to look at all that's right rather than what is wrong. So right now I'm going to do that. What's right with my world?

1) God loves me. This is enough to get a person through anything, I've learned.

2) My husband loves God with a passion, but after that he gives me everything he's got.

3) My kids love God.

4) My home is a refuge for me.

5) I love our church.

6) I am so blessed with so many people I love in my life...who also love me.

7) My bed is REALLY comfortable. I mean it's so comfy it will put anyone to sleep in 2 seconds.

8) I am able to follow the plan of God for my life.

9) We are serving in a HEALTHY church. This makes up for most anything in the church I might get upset about at any given time. There's a lot to be said for health.

10) My kids are musical.

11) I have three sets of china. Need I say more?

12) When I get stressed I can soak in my hot tub.

13) I enjoy a Tampa Bay sunset on most days unless I'm preoccupied with something else.

14) I have so many wonderful women friends in my life.

15) I'm blessed with having a lot of Bibles. It amazes me how some peopel don't have any.

16) God just keeps opening doors for me. More about that later...

There's so much that's right with my world, come to think of it.

Blessing #1

Today I begin a blog series on blessings. For how long, I dunno. But today is blessing #1 day.

I'm actually going to talk about two blessings today. Not fair you say? It's my blog. Anything is fair here that I say is fair.

Obviously my numero uno blessing is my relationship with Jesus. It should go without saying but for so many, it's not obvious so I'm not going to just assume the reader knows this.

I'm blessed by His indescribable love for me. For some reason when I keep screwing up incessantly, He loves me infinitely. I'm so glad His love for me is so so great and His grace abounds in my life.

My second blessing is my greatest earthly relationship - my husband Larry. He's not just the sexiest man I know, he's the most stable. In 22 years of being together, I've never once feared him doing anything off the deep end. While he lives a life totally abandoned to God, He's not flaky. I think there's a big difference between abandonment to God and stupidity. A big difference. So, He's that (which I appreciate so much in Him, with all I've had a front row seat to in 22 years of watching some pretty crazy things) but some of his other qualities I love are that he is:

Sentimental...

Spiritual

Affectionate

So warm and inviting (on at least half the mornings of the week I get up, get Savanna ready for school, get showered, and then...slide back into bed next to him. I can't help it, I really can't.)

Attentive most of the time...

and much more but I'll stop there for now so I can go night night. :-)

Growing up

Today is officially Savanna's 10th birthday. We celebrated it yesterday but today is the actual day. (Here are some pictures of her taken in our back yard this evening.)

I'm so blessed to have a daughter. I waited six years for her and my whole life changed when she was born. She completed my family dreams. I always wanted to have two boys and a girl. Some people don't have those type of dreams come true in their lives and I realize how blessed I am to actually have mine. I'll never forget when she was born and the doctor said, "it's a girl!" I told him beforehand that if it was a girl he better step back because I might stand up and jump up and down on the bed, out of control crazy with happiness. I was doing that in my heart, but I was so tired from all night of labor that for once in my life I didn't have the energy to jump up and down.

Savanna was my gift for my 30th birthday. Now I am even more thankful for her on my 40th. Nothing will ever take her away from me.

More pictures from Savannie Bannanie's birthday!

Savanna's Birthday

Well, in just two hours at the stroke of midnight it will officially be Savanna's 10th birthday. We had our family celebration tonight at Kobe. It's become sort of a tradition the past few years that this is what we do as a family on birthdays even aside from the kids parties that we have. We had a good time. It was a fun evening and everyone came and sang to her and we had a cake and she had the hat and all that stuff that they do each time. The kids really do not get tired of it. Here are some pictures of our evening.

Hard to believe "my baby" is 10 years old. I got her a set of earrings in different colors for each day of the week and took her to get an outfit tonight. She got a casual short set and she is going to wear it for her field trip on Monday. Jordan also gave her a present when we got home and Dustin is taking her on a special outing just the two of them.

I can't believe my kids are getting this old. It's just amazing.

Quote for Today

"If you are not living on the edge, you take up too much room."

My prayer is that God will give me courage to live on the edge. I recently heard it said that courage is running from failure to failure with enthusiasm. I have more than enough of my share of failures, and most of the time keep my enthusiasm, so perhaps that means I am developing into a woman of courage. I hope so.

I want to do something great, and I know it's impossible to do something great and worry about being safe or 100% right every time.

I am not ready to blog about details of this yet because they are not finalized, but in the coming months I am going to be embarking on something that quite honestly is not safe, is not predictable, and will put me in a situation I have never been in before. It's something completely new, and something that has the potential to be the most life changing thing I've ever experienced.

I'm not afraid. I'm ready to live even more on the edge.

The dark side of putting the Z in Zeal

"When a woman of many words says nothing, her silence is deafening." King Monkut, Anna and the King

Okay, so today is my day off, a day I reflect more than any other, because it's the one day I have time to. And today my friends, I'm going to share with you one aspect of my personality that is both blessing and curse, and something I've never known quite how to deal with. Maybe if you make it all the way through this post and have an idea, you can tell me what you would do if you were me. (I know, I know it's totally scary to even consider being me for 2 seconds, but...)

Remember when you were a kid and you were instructed by parents, teachers and other responsible adults, "if you don't have anything nice to say...don't say anything at all"? Well, I try to live by that, but many times am vilified for doing so. Allow me to explain.

I talk. I mean, I REALLY talk. I'm a communicator, both naturally and it's what I do for a living. One time a friend and I had an eight hour phone conversation from Tampa to Maryland. All good stuff. We were just "catching up." It was on my day off, she called me, and it just...went that long. I know, it's crazy. My husband says, "WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT FOR EIGHT HOURS?" Unless you know me personally you are probably shaking your head and you have no comprehension. If you are just an anonymous peeker onto this blog you think, "that's insane" but if you are one who is personally friends with me right now you are saying, "well yeah, it's insane, but that's just Deanna."

Not only can I talk until the cows come home (I always used to get in trouble for it at school) but I'm a very animated talker. And usually when I greet people it's with a tremendous amount of enthusiasm. In my Sunday School class or when I am preaching you never know if I'm going to jump up on a chair and talk, or take a lap around the room. I mean, sometimes I just can't help it. It's just how I'm wired. When we have a women's event, I rarely eat - I just work the room. 200 people may be sitting there and usually by the time I get up to preach I have greeted everyone of them, and most times hugged every single one of them.

All this to say - if I'm happy, I'm talking. If I'm sad, I'm not. Talking is something I do in big doses when all is right with the world in my life. If I'm quiet, you know something's wrong.

So when I'm mad about something and don't have something nice to say, I just tone down. Not silent-treatment-quiet, I just completely mellow out. I talk to people, I normally converse with them, I even smile when I am talking. There is just an absence of the "talking 100 miles and hour with great enthusiasm" talking involved. In other words, I just start acting like most "normal" people when I get mad. All the animation stops, and I just calmly talk, discuss whatever needs to be discussed and I don't go looking for opportunities to converse and I certainly don't hop up and down with glee. If I have nothing good to say about something or to someone, I just...chill.

So what is so wrong with that? Well, when you are a person who put the "Z" in zeal, people see something really wrong with it. This is something I've been attacked for time and again. When those I am in relationship with see that I get quiet (again, we're not talking about the silent treatment - I do see what is wrong with that) they tend to get very angry. If a church member notices I'm just not as animated with them, that I am just even keeled when I talk, and not overly zealous, they realize, "she's not herself." And then comes the, "Pastor Deanna is not treating me the same!" cry.

Well, would you treat someone exactly the same if you have been betrayed or attacked? I'm not saying you would refuse to forgive them, or not speak to them again. I am simply saying that when someone betrays or attacks you or even simply hurts you, I don't think that calls for having the same exact relationship with them. There are times, simply put, that I am not excited about my relationship with somebody. Even when you work through forgiveness issues with someone, the fact is, if the hurt was bad enough, you don't feel like jumping up and down with excitement when you see them. You're doing good just to smile and greet them nicely and carry on normal conversation. I have literally had people say, "you just don't have that air of excitement when you see me." WELL HELLO...................................


Typically when this happens with me with someone I am still hugging them when I greet them, still speaking to them many times even before I'm spoken to, and carry on a conversation that if someone who didn't know us was listening in on, would say, "that's a perfectly normal, nice conversation with no negative undertones at all." The problem lies in the fact that for people who know me well they know that I have very few nice normal conversations, and a lot of high octane, enthusiastic, passionate ones.

I have thought before of purposely and painstakingly changing this dad-gum personality of mine to just be even keeled all the time, to not jump up with excitement when I see anybody - therefore I wouldn't be putting anybody out when I stopped jumping when they made me mad. I've thought of stopping my eight hour conversations with people, and given up on being the hugger that I am. I have considered mellowing out my usual attitude and becoming more melancholy when I talk to everbody so it doesn't stand out when I am just even with some. But I don't want to do that. Because I like being excited, fun, animated and I love communicating.


But I'm just really sick of being accused of being a terrible person due to the fact that I don't jump up and down and talk for 2 hours to somebody who has just emotionally or verbally hit me upside the head. I'm really sick of that. It doesn't happen every day or every week or even ever y month. Usually this kind of thing happens to me on average once a year. But it happens enough to drive me crazy sometimes. So, by now you are probably thinking, "why don't you just force yourself to be animated with people you are not happy with?" Because that is so fake. And I just don't like fakeness. I love being real as you can tell by my open blogs which sometimes drive my husband crazy. :-) I just want to be genuine. And my excitement is very genuine. I don't just jump around and get excited and hug people as some fakey thing, I really MEAN it when I do that. I am honestly excited about what I am talking about and my gushing is totally honest gushing. I want to be "what you see is what you get" real.

My husband has even asked me sometimes, "please just keep gushing even when you don't feel like it because it would just spare us a lot of problems..." but it just makes me sick to even think of going around living fake like that.

When I saw the movie Anna and the King and King Monkut said what he did, I immediately had that quote imbedded in my head because it describes perfectly my personality. I am a woman of many words. If I say half the words I normally say, or for some reason I just say nothing, it's like the silence is absolutely screaming in the room.

Have you ever heard of a person getting verbally crucified for just being even keel and acting how others act on any given day of the week?

That's me, and short of becoming an absolute imposter, I really don't know what the solution is. Pastor friends of mine have told me, "can't you just be animated by faith?" What the heck does that mean? Take a step of faith and be animated with the person hoping I will feel the same way I used to about them, in the future? Go around excitedly saying things I don't mean in the least? That sounds kind of hokey to me.

I'm not one to shy away from facing my problems/issues or refusing to change negative things about me. I wouldn't be in life coaching and working on improving myself as a pastor, and as a person in general if I wasn't open to change. I'm wanting to learn, grow and change things all the time. But when I consider this issue, I really truly don't think it's one I need to change. I think that when people get angry because I'm not animated and something has happened I wonder if it's not the conviction of the Holy Spirit over what they have done, rather than my problem because I am not as enthusiastic as I normally am.

Do you really expect someone who has been hurt, betrayed or attacked to be ENTHUSIASTIC? Jesus wasn't jumping up and down on the cross. He still loved and forgave but he was not throwing a party.

Sometimes I have literally asked God, "WHY IN THE HECK DID YOU GIVE ME THIS PERSONALITY?" People always tell me they love my energy, enthusiasm, and animated nature. That is, until I'm suddenly not jumping off a chair when I'm talking to them.

Lifetime Intimate Portrait ~ Debbie Winchester

The next person I would like to introduce you to is the Queen of Encouragement, Debbie Winchester. I have known Debbie for the majority of the time I've lived in Tampa. She became a member at Northside shortly after we began our pastorate here. Growing up in a pastor's home, I think she instinctively understands many things I go through. She is so positive and encouraging and someone I always love to be around. We have a funny story about our friendship that I just have to share with you before our interview with her...

When Debbie first met me she invited me to lunch. I was glad to go with her and we met at Applebees. When we got there she was so nervous. I didn't know why she was acting so nervous and strange. I asked her why she was so anxious. She said, "I feel so honored to eat lunch with you and it makes me nervous, because I feel like I'm with the President of the United States or something..." Well, I thought that was so funny. I mean, ME? I couldn't imagine anybody would be nervous or intimidated by being with me or eating lunch with me. When she compared me to the President of the United States I started laughing so hard, I accidently banged my head on the wall behind my chair and you could hear "crack!" I mean, I really banged it hard. I didn't know the wall was so close to my chair and when I threw my head back and laughed it really boinked it hard. Well then when we heard my head hit the chair we both started laughing so hard we couldn't stop and everybody around us was like, "WHO ARE THESE TWO NUTCASES?" Well, from that moment on, Debbie hasn't been nervous around me, we just laugh a lot. Okay, here we go...

Debbie, Where are you originally from?

I was born in San Diego, CA

What is one of your fondest childhood memories?

Spending time with my oldest sister, she became my mother when my mother and father divorced. My father had custody, but my sister, being 12 yrs older than me, stepped in and did her best to nurture me. She would take me to the library and help me pick out books to read. Any time she could devote to me was the best! I also loved camping with the family every year!

Please tell us about your children/home:

I have 3 grown daughters, each seems to be creative in their own way. None of them have ever lived a conventional life, always on their own terms, which totally drove me crazy when they still lived at home!!!! As I look back though….they all are very much like their father, more then they really want to be at times! It’s amazing to see them leaving their own mark on the world! I have 3 grandchildren and another one on the way, 2 boys that are so awesome! We just took care of them for 4 days and had the best time with them! They amaze me! We also have 1 grand daughter, which at the ripe age of 6 has become a fashion guru! “Trust her, she knows fashion!”. We have another arriving in about a week! (Skyler Dean)

Our home has changed tremendously since the girls have moved out and the youngest has moved back in, we had our independence and suddenly, it has been taken away for a time, but God has all things in his hands and knows the end before we even see the beginning, so I am trusting him to continue to give me the wisdom needed for the task ahead! I am not sure what lies ahead, but I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me! I am definitely learning to take one day at a time!


How long have you been saved and tell us briefly how that came about...

I have been saved and filled with the Holy Ghost since I was 7 years old! My father is a minister and I was in church every time the doors were open plus any other time my father was needed. I remember wanting the Holy Ghost and trying to figure out how to speak in tongues. The church we attended used to have these revivals that would start with one week and if the spirit was moving it would go on and on and on for weeks. I wonder what the other churches that were scheduled did when they had to postpone their revival? A guy by the name of Ralph Sykes preached this revival and I remember him giving his personal testimony about having an Alcoholic mother that would drag him out of bed to sing in front of her drunken friends when he was 8 or something. He had a beautiful voice and played the piano really good. During that revival I came forward to be filled with the Holy Ghost and when I started speaking in tongues, I didn’t stop speaking in tongues for about 30 minutes. When I got done speaking in tongues, I quietly slipped out the side door of the auditorium and went to the back to get a drink of water.I felt so clean and peaceful that night! I didn’t want to speak or anything, just go home and go to bed quietly. I remember people coming up to me and talking to me about receiving the Holy Ghost, but I didn’t want to talk to them.

What type of things are you involved in at the church?

Taking care of the communion dishes after communion, Women's Minstries Eagles Team, and the Care Ministry Encouragement Team.

You do such a great job with all those things and you are a God-send to Pastor Larry and I. Share with us, what is your greatest passion?

To be an encourager and to be able to witness without a bit of fear. “Fearless Abandonment” (like you PD!)

How long have you known Deanna?

About 3 or 4 years

So, why are you still hanging around with her?

She is sooooo much fun, she is not shocked by anything and generally accepts people from all walks of life.

Is there anything about her you don't like or wish she would change?

She can sometimes go too far in joking around about things.

Anything else you want to share? Serious? Funny? Other?

On a more positive note, she is the most wonderful friend a person could have! I appreciate her and love her for being such a good friend and listening to me. With the way I was raised which resulted in a lack of self esteem, at times it is hard for me to believe anyone would even value my friendship. She's been a great source of encouragement to me and I am overcoming my feelings of inadequacy and learning think of myself as having value. I am learning to get my eyes off of myself and onto others and that is when my self-worth grows. Her Sunday School class is so awesome! It has strengthened me so much and I love attending it! She has such a great way of arranging words! I love the way she expounds on the Word of God and helps develop women into the leaders they are meant to be! I love it! She has so much energy and enthusiasm! If I could have just a drop of that….WOW! I could get my list caught up in one day! It is so late!!!! I really need to get to bed!

Thank you Debbie. I love you more than words can say, and...I'll work on that issue of going too far sometimes. :-) Forgive me. You're a gem!!! I love you!

Quote of the day

"Quitters are governed by facts. Overcomers are governed by faith."

Outtakes from Church Life Cohorts

Just came back from CLR cohorts in Ft. Lauderdale. It was such an enriching time as usual. Best of all, it was the first time for a while that Larry and I have been able to really connect. I mean, we work together every day at the church and we spend time together but lately it hasn't been as quality as usual...for some reason. It's been this way about a month. I think we've just been under an attack of sorts. Not fighting...just...a little emotional disconnect and also a lot of pressure with the kids. But these past two days turned all that right side up just where we need to be. I love it when we are functioning like this. We really needed these two days.

Then, today Pastor Max taught in the morning and Dr. Lee this afternoon. A few days ago, Doc felt in his spirit that Max needed to teach this morning. They never communicated about the topic, he left it up to Max. As much as we love Doc, the Lord had something different in store today with Max and it was so on with where everybody was. So Holy Spirit orchestrated. Just thought I would share a few of Max's insights... of my 13 pages of notes, here are some favorites...

Adversity has the ability to bring out the best in leaders – prosperity tranquilizes us.

Remember – GOD LOVES THIS CHURCH MORE THAN WE DO. GOD LOVES THIS COMMUNITY MORE THAN WE DO. GOD LOVES US MORE THAN WE LOVE OURSELVES. GOD IS ALWAYS MOTIVATED BY LOVE.

Yes, the battle is the Lord’s but the Word also says we are workers together with God. He used Moses with a rod in his hand, David with a sling in his hand, the disciples to take the multiplied loaves and fishes. He always uses people.FAITH WITHOUT A FIGHT IS DEAD.

Soil must rest sometimes so the next crop will be more bountiful. There are times when of all of a sudden everything slows down. Sometimes God intentionally slows things down.Psalm 23 – "He maketh me lie down..."

If you are working your behind off trying to keep a program alive in your church, it probably was born in the flesh. If there is no fruit from it, you are keeping it alive on life support. Sometimes God resurrects it later. Make the decision to eliminate things that are non-producing.

When you are part of a denomination sometimes you are under a lot of pressure to have certain programs. It's better to have the denomination mad at you than God.

And my favorite piece of advice for the day...

New converts are a great distraction. Keep praying the new believers in...it’s easier to deal with any negative factors in the church because you can always redirect people's attention to the souls being saved.

Ft. Lauderdale

I'm in Ft. Lauderdale today and tomorrow for church life co-horts. Does anyone in Tampa miss me?

I miss you, but I'm enjoying being here as usual. I got my customary 4 hours of uninterrupted work done on the laptop on my way here. Yeah! Had dinner with Pastor Greg and Tammy tonight and debriefed on our last two months in the church and how things are going for all of us. So glad to be here. It seems everyone needs a boost of encouragement right now, and this is the place to get it.

We don't need to know everything

Okay, I'm going to post something about the war in Iraq. Finally, I'm breaking down and doing this. Although it's a hot topic, I've tried to stay away from it as far as blogging goes, and just talk about it quietly with close friends. It's also not something I would ever bring up publicly at church, for obvious reasons. This is a very polarizing issue. But here I go with my humble opinion on this, my personal blog.

Should we be there? Should we not be there? I don't know, but here's one thing I do know. The American people's "right to know" everything is taking our country into a downward spiral. Are there worse problems? Yes, I'm not here to debate which problem is worse. But the public's push to know every detail of everything is a huge problem. What has affected our recent wars more than anything, is THE MEDIA. Years ago, journalists were not granted the access they have now. Cameras were not there chronicling the war. And that was a good thing.

In previous wars, prior to the media frenzy we have today, the president did not have to worry that somebody was going to take photos of coffins lined up on an airplane to be sent home. Throughout the ages casualties have happened, and to a much greater degree in all of the previous wars. The difference is, we just didn't see it up close or personal. Therefore it was easier for the American people to cope with. War is messy. Previous presidents/commanders in chief did not have to worry about the results of the latest explosion or casualty being shown on CNN. They were able to take care of business without the interference of those back home.

Americans are all convinced that they know how the president should be running the country on everything from how many troops we should be sending in there to whether or not we should use tactics like torture to accomplish our purposes. I realize this is very controversial, but on the subject of torture...when we have had to use force to get information out of people that would save the American people's lives, that has always been done, policy or no policy. The difference is, there was not some idiot standing there filming it and and tattle taleing back to the American public. Back during World War I and II we didn't have Rosie O'Donnell on TV every blessed day spewing her ultra left wing rhetoric. I don't consider her left wing actually, I consider her off the radar, she's so far over, she doesn't even register on the left/right scale. Terrorists are just "mothers and fathers" and not people we should be afraid of? Last time I checked my mother or father were not blowing up the world trade center. And if they did, I would say...annihilate them...it has to be done for the sake of our people. Don't use the word "terrorist" she says. "These people are not terrorists. That's a really negative word." Okay, so then what are they? They aren't your run of the mill mother or father, I will tell you that. They are mass murderers, plain and simple and have to be stopped at all costs. If you've got to inflict a little pain on someone to get out of them information that could stop the killing of thousands, possibly millions of innocent lives DO IT. One thing is for sure, we are not going to get anything done by sitting with these people over a cup of coffee trying to reason with them. There is no reasoning with this because sin simply doesn't make sense. And this is primarily a religious war that we are in.

As a side note - who is Rosie O'Donnell to be stating what the direction of the country should be? She's a comedian/talk show host turned left wing extremist commentator. These celebrities get on TV and talk about the way things should be in this country and I'm thinking, "and you are qualified to decide this because you are...in a movie? Because you host a talk show where they discuss such important things as Britney's latest date or the latest kid Angelina Jolie adopted?" Who are these people to be dictating the direction of the country? You might say, "aren't you doing that right now, Deanna?" No. No I'm not. I'm saying, I am not qualified to do that, as most Americans are not. This is why we elect leaders. Actors and comedians (or pastors!) have not been commissioned to give orders to the armed forces.

What we have is a crisis of leadership. Our president and commander in chief (no matter who they are - George Bush or anyone else in the position) have not been set free to lead. We elect people to make decisions on behalf of our country, to serve the people the best they know how with the information they have been given. The rebellious spirit in our country is out of control. We think we are so smart in the USA- everyone thinks THEY know how to do a better job. The truth is, none of us see all the info that comes across the desk of our president, the CIA, the FBI, the Secret Service, and our Military Forces. These people have - and should have - information that we do not know. And we have elected them to TAKE CHARGE and to ACT ON that information. People say, "the president was hiding things from the American people." The truth is, some things should be hidden. They should only be known to our top officials, for the security of the USA. Today they get on TV and announce where we are going to strike next. All because of the American people's "right to know." We can't remember life without the paparazzi. In times past, official body counts were not reported back to the people for a long time, even sometimes til' it was all over. Part of the reason for this is, the president would not want to affect the morale of the American people. Things like this were kept from us for the very reason that leaders know when the people see the casualties, there will be an outcry to stop. And sometimes, stopping is not best. It was enough to know, our leaders were taking care of business.

Taking care of business has led us to have the freedoms we have today. War is messy. Whether you think we should be there or not (and I am not writing this for or against being there - truthfully I haven't made up my mind on the issue) the fact is that war means casualties. There is nothing friendly about war. While I'm still not sure about this war, I do believe in war in general. The Bible says there is a time for war and a time for peace. Had the wars not been fought in the past, you and I would not be able to go to church freely, express ourselves freely, or even post anything on a blog freely let alone walk down the street.

To have those rights, people have to die. It's that plain and simple. When we elect our leaders, we need to set them free to do their job and not try to control things we don't know all the facts about.

I do know a few people who have been over in Iraq, serving during this war. They all say the same thing. When I have asked them about it they have said, "there's a lot more going on over there than the American people know about. There are many reasons for doing things that they know nothing of."

Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Last year I turned on an episode of Oprah and she was showcasing all this footage from the war - showing all the casualties and trying to convince people how terrible of an idea this war is. Of course this is all a drop in the bucket compared to the losses of World War I or II and many other wars, but realize, this is a war that has full media coverage, so it's different. As she paraded these pictures on TV, she said, "It's important that the American people see the reality of war." The reality of war is that there are casualties, and we should expect them. I don't like that -- I hate it. But it's a fact. All that episode did was stir up the American people even more against the president and the war, and served to further disunite the country.

This is the same reason many churches do not grow. People have a "need to know" everything. They don't trust the leader and there is a crisis of leadership as a result. If people do not trust a pastor, they won't move forward. There are many things that happen within the church that if our staff disclosed them, they could cripple people's lives, ruin people's lives in fact. There are things we hold confidential because it's the right thing to do, also because it would greatly hurt people and the church should we make them public. We take that information and do our job, always keeping in mind what is best for the organization. This is the job of a leader. It is not always easy to have that responsibility. People often criticize the decisions you make, having no idea of all the reasons behind it. My husband often laments, "if they only knew...". There are times every pastor gets so weary of it and says, "would you just trust me to do my job?"

I am Deanna Shrodes. I am not called to be the president of the United States. There are many things I do not know about the terrorists, about plots to kill us, about this war, about methods used to ensure our freedoms, and a lot more. And quite truthfully, I'm fine with that. I trust our leaders to handle that. I am content in co-running 5036 Spectacular Bid Dr., and Northside Assembly of God. That is my calling in life. I am okay with letting those on Pennsylvania Avenue handle the terrorists.

So-So Day

Our youth did a really fantastic job on the service today at Northside. The fine arts entries they presented were just wonderful. Pastor Aaron did a great job speaking and the kids with worship, and all in all the service was very good. But the weather really did a number on us.

Larry and I had an hour and a half sleep last night. We were really glad neither of us had to preach. Our central air went out, and in Florida, well...that's a big deal. It was a warm night last night so therefore we didn't really sleep well. Just a lot of tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable to no avail. Larry tried to figure out what was wrong but just couldn't get it running last night. So, we had very little rest.

Then we awoke to heavy rain - I mean torrential rain - this morning. Down pours. Not only did that totally affect attendance particularly for Christian Education but it cancelled our annual picnic. This was a bummer. My class was better attended than I imagined it would be - I was proud of my ladies. But still, we were low. Spirits were high, however. We had a good class. We were just water logged! As you can see, this made for a so-so day. I wouldn't call it a bad day simply because our youth did a wonderful job. Therefore I can't completely just write this day off. But otherwise the rain and the effect it had on our events and attendance today were disappointing.

We went to Bernie and Lisa's for lunch and Garlands and Riveras ended up coming over and then the guys went and fixed the central air. In a few minutes, they figured out what it was - a clogged drain. Now our house is nice and cool again. I stayed longer than I should have over there eating pie and talking (when I should have come home and cleaned) but the laughter and conversation was doing me a world of good. So I stayed. Sometimes you just have to go for the refreshing you are longing for in that way, and put the urgency of things like cleaning aside just for a little while. It was worth it and I'll spend a little time in the morning cleaning before we leave for our meeting. Speaking of that...

I'm so glad we the central air and all that ironed out tonight because in the morning we leave for church life co-horts and Pastor Matt will be coming to stay with the boys and Savanna will go to live with the Harts while we are gone. I teasingly call her, "Savanna Hart." She really fits in over there as part of their family. I don't really give it a moments worry when she is there, I know she is loving every minute of it and they seem to love having her there just as much.

One thing I really need tonight, going into our meeting tomorrow, is a full night's sleep...and I am committed to having it. So, g'night.

Lifetime Intimate Portrait ~ Sue Flint

The next special person in my life that I want to introduce you to is Sue Flint. I have known Sue for probably about four years now...and she has been a God-send to my life and to our church. I first met Sue outside the church, actually. She was the boss of one of our members, at a radiology center here in Tampa. When I went to get some x-rays done there, the member of our church (Joel) said, "Hey, I want you to come meet my boss..." So I went with him down to her office, and the rest is history.

Shortly after our meeting at her office, Sue came to a Princess Luncheon outreach at Northside, and we really got connected and pretty soon I asked her to lead one of our affinity groups for hurting women. She's born for this. God has really blessed it. And I'm blessed just having her in my life and on our team. She's someone I just enjoy doing lunch with and dreaming about how we can reach more women in Tampa Bay.


In addition to being on the women's team and leading Aprile's Hope (the affinity group she leads) she is also on our leadership team, and our vision team at the church. Okey dokey, here we go with our interview with Sue Flint:

Where are you originally from?

I was born and raised on Long Island – somehow I lost the accent – I’m so glad because I can’t stand it.

What is one of your fondest childhood memories?

My fondest memories are of my grandmother – She would make me a “coffee” which was mainly milk, sugar and a splash of coffee and serve it to me in a demitasse. We would sit and have our coffee together. She also took me into the city a lot. She would take me to these classy restaurants with white linen tablecloths, waiters in tuxes when I was just a little girl.

Please tell us about your children/home:

I live with my two boys Ben (I still call him Benjamin)12 yrs almost 13 and Dakotah just turned 11. We have several pets – all small including our newest addition a Chinese Water Dragon. We have a busy schedule with school, homework, soccer and of course church but we still try to take time to do things together.

You are a GREAT Mom and I don't know how you handle it all, but you do, and so beautifully. So, how long have you been saved and tell us briefly how that came about...

In 1999, I was going to meetings at the Spring and I met this lady who was on fire for Jesus. I thought she was crazy. She was always telling everyone Jesus loves you and other stuff. The people who ran the meetings couldn’t get her to stop. She kept inviting me to her church. She was always so happy and upbeat and she just kept asking me so I finally said yes. After the first time I went, there was just never any question about what I did on Sunday mornings, I got up and went to church. I was just drawn to it. I think they gave a call for salvation every week but it wasn’t until I had been attending for a while that I remember the pastor asking people to come up and pray. I didn’t understand at the time what I was going up for I just knew I wanted what she said I could have – a relationship with Jesus.

What type of things are you involved in at the church?

I am on the Eagles team which I just love. We help plan and put on women’s functions in the church. I am also the director of a support group called Aprile’s Hope which is for hurting women – women who are or have been involved in domestic violence or any kind of abuse, significant loss or divorce.

What is your greatest passion?

Helping women in pain or going through a difficult time.

How long have you known Deanna?

I’m terrible at remembering how long ago anything happened – I think I first met her four years ago. Joel brought her in to my office to introduce her to me and shortly after, I went to a princess luncheon.

So, why are you still hanging around with her?


Have you ever known someone who is always interesting to be around? That’s PD – whether she is being funny, silly or completely serious she has an intensity about her that draws people to her, me included.

What do you like best about her?

She has the ability to see things (talent, abilities) in others that they are unable to see themselves.

Is there anything she does that completely gets on your nerves?

I can’t imagine her getting on anyone’s nerves :-)

Wow, I'm glad that's in writing...I'll point that out to my family!!! Anything else you want to share? Serious? Funny? Other?

PD has been such a positive influence on my life. She has such confidence in me and encourages me to step out and do things I might not otherwise.

Thanks...you're a gem!

Lifetime Intimate Portrait ~ Lisa Currie

The next "special person" in my life I want to introduce all of you to is Lisa Currie.

Lisa has been my friend ever since Larry and I came to pastor Northside Assembly. She and her husband Bernie are very involved in our church, and our lives outside the church too. They love us so much, they even moved into our development! Yes, we just live right down the street from each other! We also have kids of approximately the same ages so this lends itself to our families spending time together as well.

Lisa is also someone who helps me as an armor bearer at church services and events. She's really great at it. I think she was born for the job, although it's just one of her many gazillion talents. We have worked together in pulling off many events - weddings, open houses and other stuff. We often joke that if she lost her job with MacDill and the church decided to kick me out we would just open a catering business together. Actually I think we would do really well. Every year I have a big open house for our leadership at Christmas time. After about the second year, I saw I was out of my mind to try to do this without Lisa's help.

I also owe my hairstyle to Lisa. She introduced me to Ada and now I can have cool hair, just like her. It's one of the many things I'm deeply indebted to her for. When I am sick, she also comes over and brings me Coke and takes care of me while my husband galavants around the neighborhood and leaves me. :-) Okay, here we go with our interview with the lovely, Mrs. Lisa Currie ~

Lisa, tell us a bit about your family...

I have been married to a wonderful husband for 21 yrs (in May 07). We met in Sacramento, CA at a church we both attended. We have 3 terrific children, Chris, 18; Emilie 13; Ashley 11. Our family loves to go on vacations together and spend time with relatives as well as our many friends we have gained throughout the years. We really do love each other very much, even though at these ages sometimes it is difficult to detect at times.

Tell us about your home...

We currently live in a suburb of Tampa, FL, since Oct 2006. We live on a golf course, a lake, and a conservation area all in one as well as a pool-we are truly blessed. The kids have their own bedrooms finally. My son is grateful to not have to live in the garage anymore as he did in our previous home. We absolutely love where we live. It took us many months to sell our home and so we really appreciate what we have. We love having friends and family over as well as enjoying quiet evening as home with our kids on the lanai or watching American idol. My husband and I have about a 45 mi. commute each way to work, but its worth the drive to live where we live.

Yes, Lexington Oaks is a wonderful place to live, I agree. How blessed we all are who live here. And the best part is being near friends like you. So, where do you work and what do you do?

I work at an air force base in Tampa, FL as a contract specialist for a government contractor out of Alaska. My job is never dull to say the least. I manage construction projects, beginning to end, cradle to grave as they call it for work to support the efforts at the base. I deal with many types of people on a daily basis from Generals, base commanders, contractors, construction workers, as well as military men and women who either have been deployed or who might be getting ready to be. I manage projects that range from $4,000 to $5,000,000 and can last anywhere from 1 day to 15 months to complete. I love my job, that is, if I have to have one. I would however rather be a stay at home mom!

Before I ask you the next question, I just want to point out you are a great Mom even though you are not a SAHM, just for the record. You handle all the roles in your life amazingly. Okay, so tell us how you came to know the Lord?

I was adopted at 10 days old so I remember very little prior to that. I was raised in a wonderful loving Christian family whose sole strength was the Lord. My parents, both preachers, held small pastorates while I was younger and I have terrific memories of those times. Although terrific now, I’m sure we had our struggles, but doesn’t everyone? Anyway, if I remember correctly, I was about 7 yrs old when I asked Jesus into my heart. I remember being in the church every time the doors were open and most often ending up at the altar, even as a young child. That’s just what you did. I believe I was about 10 yrs. old when I rec’d the baptism in the holy spirit. I’ll never forget that service, the preacher, the music, or the changes brought to my life from that moment on. All I can say is wow! God is just a Wow kind of God!

What type of things are you involved in at the church?

I am currently involved in many areas of our church. I am married to the Christian education director and a board member, so obviously I am somewhat involved there whether it be actions, or attitude; either way there is a representation. I am a co-teacher in Sunday school for the primary-jr ages, both boys and girls. That can get crazy but it is also a lot of fun. I serve on the Eagle’s Women’s Ministries team at our church. I have no idea what my “responsibility” is because we all just do whatever we have to do to get the job done. We have regular meetings for planning and prayer, not to mention food, we have many special events which require a lot of coordination, involvement from others outside of the team, as well as keeping the women’s Sunday school class flowing if our assistance is needed. Basically the women's Eagles leadership team is a special forces command run by a bunch of crazy ladies who love the Lord, each other, our church family, and our wonderful illustrious leader.

How long have you known Deanna?

I have known Deanna since their arrival at the church. I think that is 5 ½ yrs, but might be slightly off. Time just flies by these days.

So, why do you keep hanging around with her?

You know, sometimes I ask myself, "why does she hang around with me?" Life would just not be the same without time spent with her. One never knows what the “hot topic” might be. Could be sex, politics, church growth, marriage, parenting, friendship, or the latest joke told in a staff meeting. Deanna has such a keen insight into life’s situations. She is rich in wisdom and wit which never seems to cease. So basically to not hang around with her is to miss out on life, a laugh, a cry, or just a hug. Why would anyone deprive themselves of that?

What do you like best about her?

Sorry, there isn’t just one. 1) Her humor. She is so funny. She can appreciate good humor and gets all of us, including herself going into good belly laughs all the time. 2) Her ability to relate to others. She is so comfortable in her skin and with others as well. She makes everyone feel loved. She never comes across as “the pastor”, although her very presence commands respect. She can be in any environment and not be intimidating. I have never known another “pastor or pastor’s wife” like her. (He’s pretty cool too!) She just doesn’t fit the mold from past decades. She is off the charts. 3) Her passion for Christ. It comes out in everything she does and says. She loves people to Jesus everywhere she goes. She doesn’t just tell our congregation to do it, she as well as her husband set the example for us to follow. 4) Her passion to make a difference for Christ. She wants to rock the world for Christ. She is off to a really good start. I really didn’t think there was anyone still out there like this. She really lives her testimony. Very real!

What do you like least about her? If she would change just one thing, what do you wish it would be?

(Do I really have to do this? Ok, I know you really want me to share this but please know I really do love you... )

She has very high expectations (that isn’t all bad), but sometimes, when we do everything we need to do and then step back and let the Lord do what He wants with what we have done. I think she forgets this sometimes when things don’t work out according to “her” plan. But it’s God’s plan that sets it into motion to begin with. Hmmm. Well, I think she “sometimes” only sees things from her perspective and isn’t willing to budge very often when approached. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. She’s kind of high strung too, but that’s kind of fun to watch at times because others don’t always notice it.

(Don’t even think of asking me about the above. I won’t even admit to writing it later!)

Lisa, is there anything else you want to share? Serious? Funny? Other?

No, I can’t share that! She might write it. I know her, remember?

Something Way Cool about the Virgin Birth

Okay, so how did I not know this? The virgin birth is miraculous enough in and of itself, but...

Today I was having lunch with my doctor and friend, Rosemay Latortue, M.D. We were talking about a bunch of topics like we always do and the conversation came around to the AIDS epidemic in Africa and then I posed this question to her. I said, "Rosemay, I have never understood how babies whose mothers are infected with AIDS are not automatically born with AIDS." And then she told me the most amazing thing. She said a mother's blood and baby's blood never mixes! (Unless something goes wrong, something ruptures, etc.) Okay, so I am 40 years old, I've had 3 kids, I consider myself a relatively intelligent person (but as Cathy said VERY naive at times) and I never knew this!!! I assumed all this time that blood passed through the umbilical cord. Well, it does but it is separated by a membrane, keeping the Mom and Baby's blood separate at all times.

Totally amazing.

So, she says, "Deanna, that is something else that is so incredible about the virgin birth! God prepared all of this so that Jesus' blood would not mix with Mary's.

Okay, so how did I never even think of this before? So we sat there and discussed the miraculous ramifications of this and I was just in awe of the way God prepared woman for this. Then I came home and studied it more on the internet. Look what I found on one site:

" It is an established physiological fact that the mother's blood is neither the source nor supply of the blood in the unborn infant's veins. It is the contribution of the male which leads to the development of the blood. Without that vital contribution no blood could be produced because the female of herself does not produce the elements essential for the production of this new blood. Gray's Anatomy, a recognised medical authority, states: "The fetal and maternal blood currents do not intermingle, being separated from each other by the delicate walls of the villi."Woman was so constructed that in the production of her child none of her blood would enter the veins of her offspring.

This brings us back to Genesis and there we read: "And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man." --Genesis 2:21-22.

The word used in verse 22 for the making of the woman is literally "builded." God builded, or constructed, woman and she was constructed in such a manner that when she was producing a child, that child's blood would be a new creation and not formed by the mother's bloodstream. Why did God so build, or construct, the woman? Simply because He was anticipating the Virgin Birth and making ready the woman for the great incarnation of God in human flesh.

Satan used the woman as the instrument to ruin the race, but God who is always ahead of the devil, forestalled him and had already constructed the woman so that she would be the instrument to produce the Redeemer of the race. If the woman had not been constructed in this manner and the production of blood in the unborn infant not so ordered, than Christ's blood would have been common with the whole race and valueless to redeem. The Virgin Birth of Christ, which took place with no male contribution which would originate the infant's blood in the usual way, but by a supernatural act of God thus originating supernatural blood, is absolutely essential to the work of redemption. By such a birth and by such a birth alone could blood be produced-- precious, incorruptible, supernatural and divine, to redeem the fallen sons of Adam's accursed race.

Wowee. So cool. You know, there is nothing to ever be afraid of when studying science and the Bible. It will always agree because of our magnificent God and the way He orchestrates things.

If this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911

When I call my doctor's office and it's not office hours, the message says, "If this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911." It seems in life, people need to be directed as to what an emergency is and what to do when they have one.

I have experienced this in pastoral ministry and this is one such day. I understand that during our week, we need to handle all types of things, emergencies and non-emergencies included. No issue there. Pastoral ministry is filled with a wide variety of responsibilities to take care of and this is just a given. I have no complaint about the fact that the pastoral life is one that is busy, with lots of hours to put in a week, and yes, sometimes, that means 24/7 if you are dealing with a true emergency. It just comes with the territory. I am absolutely called and willing to pay that price.

My issue comes with the pastor's day off, and what constitutes a true emergency. You try so hard to protect it and it seems impossible most weeks. First, we take one day versus the customary two that most people out in the world take. Again, I've got no complaint there. Pastoring takes a 6 day work week and even then most times things still aren't done. But again, that's not my issue. My thing is - when emergencies ARE NOT occurring, why can't we simply just have that ONE DAY? It's the same with our staff. Larry and I have told them that it's important that they protect this time as much as possible. We run hard and long all week, and we all need a few hours to come down so we can power up again.

Once again I was hanging on by a thread for this blessed day to come. Just a day to savor and spend with those I love, uninterrupted. Most of the day was so far so good. I got up and got Savanna off to school, savored my coffee, writing for fun (not work purposes), reading, and...snuggling up to Larry. Then I met a friend for lunch. But then when I got home...the phone rang. Usually it starts with, "Sorry to bother you on your day off." When it's not an emergency I always think, "No you're not. Because if you were sorry, we wouldn't be on the phone right now." But we are.

Usually it goes something like this. A teenager has broken his curfew. His parents are all up in arms about it. A toddler in the terrible two's threw a tantrum. Mom is stressed out, crying because she's never dealt with tantrums. How do you handle a child who is throwing themselves on the floor screaming? Or, a couple is fighting. Typical bickering that can happen in a marriage. But today they really blew up at each other. One of them calls us and wants to vent. "How long have you been arguing over this?" They usually answer something like, "well, I think the first time we really began arguing over this was 1995...no, maybe we started having these problems in '96...in any event, we've always fought." So, this is a 12 year problem, but TODAY was the day they decided to pick up the phone and finally get some advice about it. Or the ever popular calls for things like, "so and so needs a church check and another signature is needed..." Are these things emergencies? In my book, NO WAY.

I consider an emergency to be something like a church member getting in an accident and being rushed to the hospital, somebody having a heart attack, a death in the church, a spouse leaving the family, etc. THESE are things I would understandably want to be there for. But 99% of the time, these are not the things you are called about on your day off.

Sometimes I think people just won't "get it" until their pastor is the one who has an emergency - a heart attack or something like that - from having no uninterrupted weekly time of rest and recooperation to go into the next ministry week. Does it take a tragedy for people to see it? I hope not because I love my husband, my family, and our staff way too much. Don't get me wrong, I love our church people too. I love them more than they will ever know. Ministry is my life. People are my life. My heart breaks for them. My heart rejoices with them. But sometimes...I need a break. It's not that I don't love them, believe me. I pray for them constantly, have them on my heart all the time. But I am...human. I need rejuvenation just like they do.

Part of the issue is, we have three kids. They answer the phones on Friday because they forget it's Friday. It's an easy thing to do. They have a ton of friends and they are on the phones all the time. And frankly, they don't understand it. Most of their friends are in the church. The kids don't work 6 days a week (or 7 as we do many times). They are not tired and exhausted like we are (physically/emotionally) and badly in need of a respite. They are...kids. The phone rings, they pick it up. It's that simple.

My solution is to turn all the phones in our house OFF on Friday and let it always go to voicemail, then listen to the voicemail and determine whether it's an emergency and if it is, return it right away, or if not, wait til Saturday. We do that all the time when the kids aren't around. But when they are, we have this issue.

The doctors office says, "if this is an emergency hang up and dial 911". I don't want them to hang up if it's an emergency - I want to be there for them, as long as it's a true emergency.

I've gotten some calls from people who say, "I know it's your day off but I'm not calling you as my pastor, but as my friend. Okay, I need your advice on whether we should ground little Alexander from the computer for a week because he stole his sister's ipod." What I want to say is, "yes, I'm your friend, but as much as I love you, I'm also still your pastor and I need a break."

Many of my pastor friends read this blog. For those of you who are out there who don't mind posting your opinion, please tell me what you do about this issue in your home. If you have kids, how do you handle it? Are there days the phone is "off limits"? And, do you think I'm "off base" about what an emergency is? Should I be including something that is not here? I really want to know and I am asking with an open mind. If you don't want to post a comment, just email me privately. I understand why some of you don't want to put your opinion out there. Any of your people can read it on the web and you might not want to own your words on this issue. If so, email me about this...obviously it's a sensitive issue for a pastor to put out there on the blogosphere, but with me I pretty much say what I think and just take my lumps! :-)

Friends, please keep me in prayer about this. I know it's not as serious a problem as world hunger, AIDS, or people without Christ. But somebody once told me, "if it matters to YOU, it matters to HIM." Well, this matters to me. I work real hard and push myself to the limit 6 days a week to do the very best I can for the Lord, and for the church. All I'm asking for is one day to rest, unless it's a true emergency. Sometimes I feel that people think it's honestly too much to ask.

Somebody once told me, "Jesus died for the church. We don't have to." But there are days I wonder if people in the church really believe that. Am I alone?

Lifetime Intimate Portrait ~ Cathy Garland

Okay readers ...the first "special person" in my life that I would like to introduce you to is mine and Larry's administrative assistant, Cathy Garland. She is actually several things to me...our full time assistant in the office...my armor bearer who stays by my side at church and helps me with whatever is needed...serves with me on our women's team, and she's a great friend.

One thing that means a lot to me about Cathy is that despite the fact that we work together every day and also share a ton of ministry time together outside of office hours, she still respects and loves me. :-) I feel very blessed that way. Sometimes "familiarity breeds contempt". The more a person spends time with you and knows you, the more they have occasion to see what's wrong with you rather than what's right with you. But in this case, familiarity has been nothing but a blessing.

Thank you Cathy, for loving me. I sure do love you. :-) Alright, above are photos of Cathy and her family and here are the questions posed to her and her answers:

Cathy, tell a little about your family/how long you've lived here/your home...anything else you would like to share about this.

I am married to my high school sweetheart, Tom, and have been for almost 15 years. We have 3 daughters, Kirsti 14, Ashlee 12, and Britney 8. I have lived in Tampa my whole life except for 4 years when my husband was in the Marine Corp, we lived in California. We are in the process of saving up to buy a house. At this time, we live in a 3 bedroom townhouse.

How long have you known the Lord? Tell us how you came to know the Lord.

I was saved when I was a child. I was raised in church my whole life but unfortunately I have not always lived the right way. I rededicated my life to the Lord in 2002 and have been going strong for the Lord since then.

How long have you known Deanna?

I have known Deanna now for about 5 years.

Why are you still in relationship with her?

Deanna has taught me so much over these past 5 years, I feel like I have “grown up” so much. She has showed me that I can be a strong woman of God but still be a true lady. She is my greatest mentor and cheerleader and I hope to always have her in my life.

That's a definite, Cathy! Count on it. So share with us...what is your favorite fun thing to do?

My favorite thing to do for fun is hang out with my friends in a coffee house and just sit and talk and of course I love to go shopping! :-)

Yes, you share my great love for buying purses! So tell us...what is your greatest passion?

My greatest passion is to see girls grow into great women of God and for them to find their destiny that He has laid out for them.

That's evident. This can be seen not only in the way you raise your own daughters, but you do a great job in leading our Missionettes girls ministry at the church in addition to all that other stuff mentioned above that you do. You are changing these girl's lives, that is for sure.

So, tell us... what thing about Deanna do you like most?

Her fun loving spirit.

What one thing drives you craziest about her that you wish she would change?

Sometimes she is so naïve that it’s funny.

I have no idea what you mean by that... :-) Okay, is there anything else you want our readers to know - miscellaneous, funny, serious, whatever...??

I thank God everyday that He has put me in the path of Deanna Shrodes. I can honestly say I do not know where I would be right now if it was not for her love and the fact that she saw something in me that I never would of seen in myself on my own.

Thank you Cathy...I'll pay you the $50 I said I would pay you to say this tomorrow at work. :-) Okay seriously...the best is yet to come! I am still seeing things in you that you haven't realized yet and I know the Lord has even greater things than you have ever dreamed of in store. Thank you for being such a blessing, and for allowing me to introduce you to our friends in the blogosphere. You are loved!

Please give a great Lifetime Intimate Portrait welcome to...

Whenever my husband Larry introduces a guest in our pulpit at Northside he ends with, "So, join me in giving a great Northside Assembly of God welcome to... (insert name here)!!!

Well, I'm going to be introducing you to some guests here on the blog. Not guest writers, but special people who are in my life that I simply want to introduce to you.

Be watching over the coming months as every once in a while, I do a "lifetime intimate portrait" of one of my dear friends.

I may have the first one as soon as...late tonight or...tomorrow!

14 Miscellaneous things I learned from people

Sometimes the miscellaneous things you learn are the best. In the school of life, here are some things I've learned...

1) My pedicurist, Mai, taught me - the nail polish on your hands can be different than your feet, as long as it's lighter. But your hands cannot be darker than your toes, otherwise it looks bad.

2) My first weight watcher leader, Ginger, taught me that losing just 10 pounds takes 30 pounds of pressure off of your knees.

3) My new weight watcher leader, Clara, taught me to stop -- to H.A.L.T. when I feel hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

4) My husband, Larry, taught me to remember that people who are "Eagles" are different and remembering that can save you a lot of frustration in foolishly comparing them to other birds.

5) My friend and mentor, Sis. Coker, taught me to only invest myself in mentoring people who really appreciate it.

6) My friend/hairdressser Ada taught me so much more about the fact that there is a learning purpose for everything and..."slow and steady wins the race."

7) My life & ministry coach, Sis. Sherry Lee, taught me the importance of declaring, "God sent me here to you..."

8) Dr. Lee (also my coach) taught me the importance of getting 90 minute sleep cycles, and ordering my day better.

9) Diane Madden taught me about the power of being positive.

10) My friend Pastor Sandy showed me the power of having an armor bearer with you at all times.

11) My grandmother taught me about the power of love and faithfulness.

12) My kids have definitely taught me the meaning of patience.

13) My doctor, Rosemay Latortue, has shown me the importance of honoring God with my body.

14) Pastor Lindsay has shown me that all young adults are not completely uncommitted or out to lunch about faithfulness. There is hope for this generation, and there are gems out there who really do want to be mentored, who will LISTEN.

Finding my place

More and more I am realizing that my call and gifts do not lend themselves to me being overly involved in the ministry political machine, but to concentrate the bulk of my efforts on 3 things -

1) Pastoring.

2) Writing.

3) Speaking outside the church as time allows.

Not necessarily always in this order. God told me He'd take me to the nations from my laptop. One day God gave me a vision of me as an elderly woman, in solitude in my room - on my laptop...reaching the world. I believe one day this will be my life. Drudgery, you say? Not to me. To me, being alone in the silence and writing is as essential as breathing. I would rather write than eat, watch TV, sing, talk, play the piano or just about ANYTHING. I can be sick as a dog...and there I am, still writing. If I'm not writing, I'm reading....preparing to write.

Larry was right about politics. There, I said it. He's been trying to tell me for over 20 years now, but I'm just finally coming around to it. I'm thick headed sometimes if you haven't realized it yet.

I used to really thrive on being part of sectional or district leadership teams, and being very politically minded. First, I was naive enough to believe that the efforts of a committee had the power to blow up the world as we know it. I used to be clueless enough to think that God was waiting for me or those on our team to work harder on these type of projects and that some world changing revival would come through our efforts, or at least a big shake up (a positive one) for the organization, but now I see that although a gazillion administrative tasks were accomplished, that was basically where it ended. Now I've been around long enough to know that when God wanted something done, He never formed a committee.

During the majority of my ministry years, I was soooooooo about it, it was almost pathetic. It's embarrassing to admit that it was sometimes to an unhealthy degree. But the more and more time goes on, the more I realize, at the core my giftings and personality really don't lend themselves to me spending astronomical amounts of time on these kinds of things anymore. Being involved to a degree? Yes. Being fully immersed? No. Clearing the deck to make it absolute top on my agenda? Uh-uh. Am I still "involved"? Yes. I just see things different now. I don't have an unrealistic expectation anymore for the outcome of our initiatives.

The more I sit in meetings, the more I recognize my place at this point forward in my life as serving when and where I can, being a help and a positive contributing member, but not exhausting myself for it, or having such high hopes (translation: unrealistic ideas) as I did at some points in the last 20 years. I also feel that while I have been very good to the political machine, it has not always been very good for me. That is not a criticism, just an observation that beckons me to take stock of results and do some reshuffling of where I throw my energies and what I give my heart to, not just my time. At some points over these years, if I was not strong in the Lord it would have been the beginning of my end, spiritually. I have seen so much. Probably too much.

My husband is the LEAST politically minded person. He has never cared about anything in ministry but pastoring the local church and even with that, he tries to make it the LEAST politically charged atmosphere possible because he absolutely detests it. Our church business meetings last about 15 minutes. He doesn't see a need for them to go beyond that. Do we take care of business? Sure. Essentials. But there's no overkill. God never intended the church to revolve around business meetings. We disclose the financial report, ratify leaders, pray and go home. Our decisions are made in staff and ministry leaders meetings, not in business meetings. This is Larry's philosophy, but I've always been more involved in politically minded things outside the church than he was.

Many times when I've been involved on a team and we encouner something difficult with what appears to be a minutia of red tape, he has asked me, "why do you put yourself through some of the frustration that you do? Why do you expose yourself to that which threatens to disillusion you and cause you to have "stuff" to move beyond that were you not involved you would not have to work at getting past it?"

For 20 years he has always counseled me, "You work so hard but there are so many roadblocks, red tape and obstacles when you are dealing with this stuff..." That was true, yet I always had a desire to be highly involved. I always liked it much more back then, but now at this point in my life my convictions and passions are much more firmly established, rooted, and I have great confidence in uncompromisingly stating what I believe and why and not worrying about how that may shake out with everybody or whether they will like me or not after I've said it.

I am not judgmental of those who decide to immerse themselves in this or anything else...I'm just saying, total immersion is not for me, except when it comes to baptism. (ha!)

Despite what was often my thirst to be involved, sometimes for the wrong reason, one great thing has come about as a result of my involvement: great friendships and connections I would have not had otherwise. Precious relationships. To me it's all about that and worth it for that one reason. At this point in serving in the ways I do, I've completely flip flopped on my opinion as far as my reason or passion to serve and that is - to give and receive encouragement from those I serve with. This is pretty much the drive behind any desire I have at this point. I realize that while world altering change probably will never come through serving in these endeavors, the relationships gained and maintained through serving are worth the price of service in themselves.

In re-prioritizing this past year and looking to the second half of my life I have realized I want to be free to put the bulk of my efforts where I make the most difference. More and more I'm finding my place. And getting comfy in it. Not in the sense of status quo, "comfort zone" but comfortable in being absolutely sure of what God has called me to be and do, and walking in it. It's a good place to be.

Fifteen things I WILL pursue even though I am a pastor

My last post on this was 15 things I would pursue if I wasn't a pastor. I thought I'd follow it up with 15 that I will do. Some of them are a part of pastoral ministry, nevertheless, every pastor doesn't do them, so I don't consider them all a given. Many of these or even most are choices, not mandatories.

1) Writing...for the rest of my life. It's as much a call on my life as the call to pastoral ministry.

2) Continuing education.

3) Continue to accept speaking engagements outside the church as my schedule allows.

4) Missions trips.

5) Mentoring at least one or two young adults real up close and personal.

6) Take time for myself each week, preferably a little each day.

7) Quiet. Solitude. Demand time apart and...get it.

8) Friends. And yes, even in the church.

9) Collect as many shoes as possible.

10) A regular day off, choosing the wisdom of a day of rest rather than giving in to the tyranny of the urgent.

11) A realistic view of my kids. Proper expectations, not unrealistic ones.

12) A bikini-worthy body. (um, I've got a lot of work to do by this summer...like, 13 pounds worth...and a ton of firming up...but I won't quit trying.) Quitters never win. Winners never quit.

13) An incredibly hot marriage. So much that people have to stand back a little when they encounter it, it's so sizzling. Sort of when a fajita comes to your table at a restaurant, you move back a little bit...whoa...hot plate! :-)

14) A book contract.

15) A ton of fun packed into every day.... I believe life should be that way...work should be that way. If we truly LOVE what we do, we'll never work another day in our lives.

Unforgiving, Begruding, Bitter, Resentful and loving it!

I posed a question to our pastoral staff today at lunch and we got a lot of thoughts out on the table, many good things shared, but no real definitive answer. My question was...can a person who is this way, not by accident or trial and error, but outright willful prolonged disobedience, go to heaven if they live this way until death?

Right now I know someone has been saved (supposedly saved) many years but is very unforgiving, bitter, begrudging and resentful - by choice. I have never met anybody in my life or ministry who is quite this outright honest about their unforgiving spirit, and seemingly contented to stay this way for life. And it's apparent they have no designs on changing. They have willfully chosen to become this way, and they are reveling in it. They become uglier by the day, but they are not praying for God to change them. They don't want to change. In fact, they do not even see themself as any of the problem."

Paul said in Romans 7: 15-25 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

Here's the deal...

With the situation I refer to, the person is not like Paul in the aspect that they don't want to be this way. Although they would readily tell you they have been saved for a very long time and are a "seasoned Christian," they would also readily admit that they are choosing to not forgive. Despite all the years they have been in the church, and all the acts of service they have done, I really fear they may miss heaven. Despite going to thousands of church services, working in countless ministries, reading the Bible for hours on end, attending prayer meetings...my thought is, "they really might not make it..." and how sad...even tragic.

The sad fact is, in many cases, they have not truly been wronged. They either don't see things clearly, are deceived, or are overly sensitive. I'm not assuming. They admit they are unforgiving - by choice.

So my question is, when one chooses willingly to cherish their sin, are they saved? I realize all of us are sinners saved by grace. But most of us abhor our sin. We hate that we do it. We feel guilt, conviction, and we beg God to help us change. We are like Paul in that we do stuff and we say, "why? why can't I stop this? Lord, please help me! I don't want to live this way!"

But what about when a person says, "I'm saved, but I WANT to keep doing this. I don't want to give it up, I'm not praying for God to change me..." I know the Bible says if you cherish sin in your heart, the Lord will not hear you. Obviously our prayer life is hindered. But is our salvation hindered? The Bible says if you do not forgive others, the Lord will not forgive you? What does that mean? One staffer says it means the Lord will give you a good chastising when you get to heaven. I'm inclined to think one might not make it there at all if they keep on this way.

The bible says judge not lest ye be judged but it also says that we will be known by our fruit, also by our love. I see work of service from this person but that is about where it stops. I cannot judge their salvation but the fruit is another matter. And when we judge the fruit, and we find this, what is the definitive conclusion? Or is there one?

What do YOU think?

In any case, I am convinced, the person in question is extremely miserable, has been for a very long time. They think they are hurting others, but in reality they are only hurting themselves. They are driving themselves into a downward spiral that is sure to absolutely kill them (literally) if they don't stop. And then what in the world can be said about them at their funeral? I guess something to the effect of... "They really did a lot of acts of service for the church."

Could this be one of these situations the Bible speaks of in Matthew 7: 21-23? It says: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"

I know we aren't supposed to judge a person's salvation. But taking the specific individual out of it, and just looking at scripture only and the subject matter aside from personality...what do you think? I am not endeavoring to be judgmental by my statements or question but I honestly want to know others opinions on this. I personally am of the belief that one can walk away from the Lord after salvation. I do not believe in "once saved always saved". I do not believe a person can "accidently" lose their salvation. I don't believe we lose it - we willingly give it up...walk away. While the person in question would not say they have walked away from the Lord and would point out many "spiritual qualities" of their life, they would admit and have readily admitted their unforgiving spirit, and their intent to stay that way. So what does one do with that? If you were their pastor, would you tell them their salvation is in question by doing so?

I am not one of those people who always believes those "I died on the operating table and came back to life" type stories about people seeing a bright light and Jesus and Him telling them, "It's not your time yet, you have more work to do" and sending them back. Those stories are a dime a dozen and while I don't discount all of them, neither do I believe 100% of them. With that said, I read a Christian book about unforgiveness that had a story about a man who apparently died on the operating table and was revived and is still living today, now preaching the gospel. His main message is forgiveness. He says the reason is, when he died, he was not a Christian. He momentarily went to hell and when he got there he saw his mother in law, who was always by all appearances a very God-fearing woman. He was absolutely shocked to see her there and cried out, 'WHY? WHY? If my mother in law is here, nobody has a chance!" His mother in law had always talked to him about Jesus. And now she was in hell. The answer he received was, "even with all the good your mother in law did, and the love she professed for Jesus, she had unforgiveness in her heart toward several people that she held on to for years." He saw his mother in law being tormented in hell. He was revived and lived and has made it his life's mission to preach on forgiveness. Whether that story is reality or not, I don't know however...I don't want to take a chance and find out.

All I want to say for my own life is, I want to be on the safe side. Not only do I want to get rid of all unforgiveness, grudge holding, bitterness and resentment so that I don't miss heaven - but I want to live a long healthy life here on earth. My daily prayer is, "clean it out, Lord. Help me to not do what I don't want to do. Keep me clean, for Your glory and honor."

God showed up!

I knew something great would happen today! The greatest thing about morning service was that Bobby got saved! Many other people did too (at least seven in kids church and I'd say probably four or five in adult service) and although all those people are incredibly special...Bobby is super duper special. I have been saying for a while...if Bobby gets saved, look out world! He's crazy, totally crazy (see photos above) and has no fear. He'll be the devil's worst nightmare. I know my boys are so very happy right now that he has made this decision. Just to see the joy in Dustin's eyes...and the smile across his face. I know he has been a tremendous witness in Bobby's life.

The day began today just like I envisioned...early...dark...I was up long before everybody else putting lunch food in the oven, making sweet rolls, putting out the Easter baskets, feeding the dog, letting the dog out, and oh yeah...getting myself ready for church. As I was getting ready to leave for church I woke the kids up and they got their Easter baskets. I think Bobby was surprised to get his too. He especially commented on the Axe shower gel. He said, "does the Easter bunny think I stink?" Typical Bobby. He also said the sweet rolls were sent from heaven...

Going into worship rehearsal I wasn't surprised that we had some equipment breakdowns/malfuctions. It's par for the course especially for a special day. I knew something great was in store.

The parking lot greeters were out today and did a great job. I think everyone really enjoyed the new special touch. Continental breakfast went well. I got to greet a lot of people but ran out of time before greeting everyone who was there. Service went great except for one small keyboard malfunction. We had a good number of people saved which was the greatest part of the day and the reason for it all.

We came home for lunch with Mackleys, Garlands, and our precious Bobby. We had a HUGE Easter dinner complete with Misty's creamy corn, and Cathy's Razzleberry pie. :) It was so good.

But the best part of all was that Bobby got saved. Can you believe this is THE FIRST TIME HE'S EVER IN HIS LIFE BEEN TO CHURCH?! Walking into Northside was his first time EVER going to church. God is so good. Today was the first day of a wonderful new life for Him, in Jesus.

Dye job

This is just too funny!

Fifteen things I would like to pursue if I wasn't a pastor

So many dreams, so little time!

If I had several lifetimes to live, these are things I'd love to do with my time, or things I'd like to at least try...

1) Being one of the “Dove” Women (and yes, my husband thinks that's outrageous)
2) Teaching high school
3) Being a police detective
4) Working part time at Starbucks (just think it’s a fun place…and I’d like to get discount on products)
5) I’d have pink highlights, despite the way my husband feels about it. (I only respect his wishes on the issue right now because we are in ministry…but if we weren't my personal feeling is, they would grow out in a few months and it wouldn't really be that big a deal to him to put up with it for a short time.)
6) I’d like to have foster kids in my house occasionally. (too busy with ministry and it wouldn't be fair to the kids I have now, or the foster kid. Although I almost have two foster kids already if you consider Stephen and Bobby.)
7) Doing nails
8) Stay in school forever.
9) Live for a few months in solitude at a peaceful spot somewhere, like on a lake or something sort of “On Golden Pond-ish” or in Boone, North Carolina. I think that is one of the most peaceful and beautiful places I have ever been to. Someday (even with pastoral ministry) it's my dream to take at least a month sabbattical in Boone.
10) Open a restaurant. My specialties would include my homemade rolls and chicken casserole, and…chocolate cake!
11) Have my own tea shop
12) Have my own line of clothing – would definitely include lots of pink, high heels, and I would offer lots of colors and styles of watches as well. I LOVE WATCHES!!! (thank you, Susan! I appreciate Susan Lilly so much...not only is she one of the most faithful people to the house of God, but she usually gives me an average of one watch a month. Really.)
13) Running a CBE chapter (Christians for Biblical Equality). I really believe in this, but right now, just too busy to do it, and honestly it’s not my call although I really support the cause.
14) I'd have my own radio or TV call in show.

15) Work in advertising or marketing

Twas the night before Easter...

Church preparations and home preparations are almost finished for the big day tomorrow...and soon I'll be sinking down into a big bubble bath before dropping off to sleep. Sunday mornings come so early for me...and tomorrow I want to get up even earlier to make sweet rolls for the kids, and hopefully get my coffee and sit out on the patio while the sun is coming up and just get myself centered for the day.

Bobby is spending the night and going to church with us tomorrow. The boys are so excited that he's coming...as we all are. They have been trying to get him to come to church for quite a while. Well, this is it! I decided to send him a Myspace message and invite him, a special invitation from "Momma Shrodes" as he calls me. Surprisingly (well, I guess not surprisingly, the Holy Ghost knows what He's doing...) he responded right away that he'd love to come. We love having him here. He just has a way of lighting up a room and making everybody laugh like crazy. He and Dustin are playing video games right now. (see picture above)

All the kids came home tonight. We picked Savanna up from the Harts and took her to get an Easter dress. Then the boys came home and we made dinner. We all ate around the coffee table because I have all the other tables set for tommorrow with different china settings. We'll have 16 people here tomorrow. Right now Larry is baking a ham, and the refrigerator is filled with stuff I've been cooking all day. Come to think of it, it's almost everything we have at Christmas time! I can hardly wait until we sit down to eat because that will mean we can re-cap our glorious day in church. I know already, that's the kind of day it's going to be. We are all set for something great...I just know it!

Why I'll keep trying to have a day off...

Jesus would give and give of Himself, and then steal away to the mountains or somewhere and find a quiet place. I try to follow His example in this but honestly it eludes me most times.

Friday is our day off. As much as I absolutely love pastoral ministry I find myself hanging on for Friday each week in order to rejuvenate. Many times what I have hung on for by a thread ends up going by the wayside. I'm not blaming Larry...it's just life.

Although our phone rang off the hook today, we I tried to get as much peace as possible and time to ourselves. We try extremely hard to take this one day a week and forsake anything that is not an absolute emergency, and honestly this is very difficult. Although there really are not that many bona fide emergencies, things just find their way to us. I even try to leave a lot of my cleaning and stuff for other time during the week so we can have this day together, but it just doesn't happen many times because people track us down on our phones and call every number possible for us, and just keep it ringing until we answer. Sometimes I have even had people drive to my home and knock on the door if I just don't answer the phone or, they will call one of our kids' cell phones to say, "hey, tell your Mom this or that..." (Downside of having teens with cell phones.) I personally would just like to shut the phone completely OFF however then we get concerned about what could be a true emergency.

I would have just given up long ago and said, "the heck with the day off" but I realize, in order to rejuvenate and run hard the rest of the week, we really need it and if nothing else our marriage needs it. I've seen a lot of my friends burn out, quit, not make it in ministry because they simply didn't persevere in taking this little bit of time each week. As it is we have less than most people out there in the world who have a couple days off a week. Ministry is different. Most Saturdays it takes a major amount of the day to tie up all the loose ends for Sunday that just didn't get done by Thursday, or we have church activities going on. No complaint there, it just is what it is. But despite the difficulty of managing the actual day off, I'll keep trying and persevering to do this because my personal upkeep is important and my family is important.

We were essentially kid-less today as Dustin and Stephen got up this morning and took off to swim and go to the church. Then they came back and picked up Jordan and took him back to Stephen's. Savanna has been living with the Harts for the week. For spring break our home has basically been really quiet, which has been kinda nice. Well...really nice. :-) Things will probably get cranked up again tomorrow night as I think Bobby is coming to spend the night, and there's no such thing as quiet when Bobby's here. But we love him...

So this morning, I tried to sleep in as much as possible this morning, as there are so few days we can. I'd rather sleep than almost anything. We managed a little bit of sleep before the phone started mercilessly ringing. Then we got dressed for the day and went out to get all the stuff for Easter. We'll have 15 people here, so we had a lot of stuff to get. Lots of food and stuff for all the kids baskets, including Bobby.

Since all the kids were out of the house today/tonight we decided to take advantage of it and go on the date we've been wanting to go on. We had a gift card for Benedetto's, and decided to make reservations for this evening. Wow, what a place. So nice. We went and had a great time just quietly talking and listening to the many Sinatra songs that were being sung live, by a sweet old man who played the keyboard and sang.

We're still by ourselves for the evening...so...it's time for me to stop blogging and enjoy every last moment before tomorrow comes and I am back to work and getting things shored up for Easter Sunday. I'm so glad to have Larry to myself tonight. It's been a while.

Why my day ended up being perfect

Our miniature dachshund, Geena, woke me up at the absolute crack of dawn, barking and whining. She was all in a tizzy, needing to go outside because she…had the runs. No, not the urge to run around the yard, the other kind of runs. Yeack!!! I spent the first 15 minutes of my day in the dark hours of the morning, staring out at the pond, waiting for my dog to get through being sick in the yard so I could let her back in. This was like a prophetic foreshadowing of what kind of day I was going to have at the church office. Yes, you could say it was a poopy day. That’s about the best way I can put it. Nothing earth shatteringly tragic, just stuff that…well, piled up…pardon the pun.

So I came into the office and noticed the light of my bathroom in my office was on. I would have never left it on, detailed person that I am. So, I went over to investigate and shut it off and discovered a room full of dirt, mud, wet towels, and more. It was disgusting. Did I make this mess? Of course not. First of all, I’m diametrically opposed to dirt. Absolutely against it. Mud? Even a worse aversion to it. Due to my love for shoes…I avoid it whenever possible.

Who caused this? Well, both my boys worked at the church all day yesterday cleaning and working out in the parking lot. They cleaned up before church and they always choose to use Momma’s bathroom because…well, for obvious reasons. Mine is a lot nicer than their Daddy’s. I keep it cleaner, there are always towels there and lots of bath and body products in there. So despite the pink theme…they will choose that any day over my husband’s bathroom. So when they showered and cleaned themselves up, they left a huge mess in there.

So I went from poop at home…to dirt at the office. I just shut the door and said, “I’ll deal with it later…” because there was so much work piled up on my desk in preparation for Easter Sunday. (Get the theme? I was dealing with piles today. Piles of poop, piles of dirt, piles of work.) The pile of work was my priority so I shut the bathroom door and tried to ignore the fact that in about an hour’s time I would have to figure out what bathroom I was going to use. I certainly wasn’t going into my muddy and dirty one.

About an hour later while I’m totally engrossed in a big project that must be done before day’s end, Larry brought someone into my office for an unexpected meeting. Now, that right there is usually enough to make me anxious about how I’m going to get everything done, though I say nothing…sometimes it makes me a little clumsier than usual because I’m just edgy. Usually my mind is somewhere else in such a case too – I don’t think about the meeting at hand, I am still thinking about my project. I called to our assistant to bring me a few things I needed for this spontaneous meeting and promptly knocked my full cup of tea all over my desk. It was a mess to say the least. Three of us worked to quickly sop it all up but the stack of papers I was using to work on my project in front of me were ruined.

Moving right along, I find out in the afternoon that while I’m still trying to get this project done in time for Easter Sunday (was hoping to wrap it up today), I get sudden notice that I have to fill out a bunch of papers for my kids that I didn’t know about and oh yeah…a $169.00 check that they never mentioned to me either. Suddenly I felt the urge to use the bathroom so I had to go in and…clean up the bathroom and go.

By this time I was seriously trying my best to shut out all those voices in my head that were telling me to…put my kids in military school, find Geena a new home, put a permanent sign on my office door that says, ‘DO NOT DISTURB – IN INTERCESSORY PRAYER’ and just keep it there even though it would not be true, at least all the time.

Okay, so then I come home tonight and I just really want to relax. Somehow I got all my initiatives at work done today, but I am beat. We had so much to do today in getting ready for Easter and it’s not all done yet. But tomorrow’s my day off and I’m (God willing) taking it, so thus began getting a little down time tonight. I get on the computer and start reading a few blogs which I so enjoy doing. Going to one, I see an article on Tony Campolo and some things he has said lately. He’s always pushing the envelope, and people either really like him or think he’s a lunatic. Back when he spoke at our bible college 20 years ago, some things he said really made sense, but quite frankly I think the guy is going loopy. Get this…he recently said:

"I am saying that there is no salvation apart from Jesus; that’s my evangelical mindset. However, I am not convinced that Jesus only lives in Christians”

“Jesus is the only Savior, but not everybody who is being saved by Him is aware that He is the one who is doing the saving”

“...what can I say to an Islamic brother who has fed the hungry, and clothed the naked? You say, “But he hasn’t a personal relationship with Christ.” I would argue with that. And I would say from a Christian perspective, in as much as you did it to the least of these you did it unto Christ. You did have a personal relationship with Christ, you just didn’t know it.”

These are some of the craziest things I’ve ever heard the man say. (If you want to see more of this lunacy, just click here.) You can’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and not know it. I do not believe you can wake up one day and just have a sudden awareness that you are in a relationship with Jesus and just didn’t realize it. Coming to Jesus is a decision. People go back and forth as to whether you find Him or He finds you, but in any case - you KNOW what has happened. It's not like, "oops! I did it again...I was in relationship with Jesus and didn't even know it..." I haven't heard anything so boneheaded as this in a really long time.

I thought I had problems with a poopy dog, muddy bathroom, tight deadlines, soppy desk, tea-stained papers, and unexpected bills. But next to a theologian who believes you can have a relationship with Jesus and not know it…I’m brilliant. Come to think of it, in comparison to this, the Northside staff, and all the people in ministry who we hang out with are the most intelligent people in the world!

They say when you look around you someone always has it worse than you. Reading Tony Campolo’s thoughts today, I see it’s true. He's much worse off than me or any of my cronies. He's got worse problems than a pooping dog or a dirty bathroom. He's evidently lost his mind, and I’m a sheer genius.

Putting it in perspective, my life today was just perfect, evidently.

Why purpose driven conversation?

You've heard of the purpose driven church, the purpose driven life, but what about the purpose driven conversation? I'd like to coin this phrase.

I have discovered that I'm a person who requires very purposeful conversation. I really don't like just shooting the breeze. This has just become really clear to me recently. I can't believe I didn't notice this before. I have an insatiable desire for discussions that really make a point, and little if not a non-existent need for small talk.

I am bored to pieces when people talk about the weather...

a sports score...

and most of the time when they share something fictional.

There are so many real things to talk about that are absolutely fascinating and life changing, I see little or no reason to create idle chatter. There are always a zillion interesting, intriguing and completely captivating things to talk about that I don't want to squander precious moments sharing the latest knock-knock joke. I have too many real funny stories swimming around in my head that are real and actually more funny. Take what happened at church just a few years ago...

My husband was preaching a great message called, "Sharpen your ax." Okay, I know you can already see where this is headed, right? Well, the message really was awesome. All was going well til' the end. During the altar calll, he got real excited and he was pacing back and forth, giving this great anointed invitation, calling for a response from the people. And then he shouts, "Church, if you want God to sharpen your #$%, get up to this altar!" Obviously he slipped and said something else instead of "ax". Of course it was purely accidental, and he was so terribly embarrassed, and I didn't help matters. Many people were laughing of course and I just couldn't help it myself. I was trying so hard not to laugh out of respect for him...not even to crack a smile, but it was impossible. After church I couldn't resist telling him, "honey, I came right to the altar, and stayed there for the longest time, but...still no change..." I don't think he's ever forgiven me for saying that to him. (smile)

This photo above is of me and my friend, Joy Conley, pastor's wife from Harvest Assembly of God in Lakeland. Here we were having coffee and chatting in the afternoon at a conference we both spoke at. We were grabbing on to every precious moment we had to share our hearts with one another. She's one of my favorite people to talk to. It's not that I always want to be serious in my conversations. I love to share funny church stories, but I guess I just have an insatiable quest for realness whether the conversation be funny or serious. I enjoy comedians who tell real stories, and when sharing with friends over a cup of coffee, I enjoy discussing pastoral ministry, leadership, true church stories, the war in Iraq, discipleship, mentoring, and and an endless supply of other things.

Typically when people are talking about non-sensical things it would take absolutely no brain power to discuss, my mind wanders to other things that are meaningful.

In all the writing I've done, I have never written anything fictional since about the third grade when I was forced to do it for a school assignment. So many true things are fascinating, I see no need to tap into a fantasy storehouse to think of something stimulating to say. It's all right here, a plethora of things to arrest the imagination.

Sharing tea with two minister friends, Sheri and Sharon on Tuesday is a prime example of this. We shared non-stop conversation for four hours. We never entertained a fictional topic or grasped for small insignificant chatter to keep the conversation going. In fact, at some point we just had to bring the afternoon to a close even though we had so many more interesting things to talk about.

I have often heard the advice given to prepare to be a great conversationalist by memorizing a few jokes or stories one can tell to break the ice in talking to someone you don't know, or in warming up a crowd. I couldn't disagree more. I believe people are the most interesting thing on the planet. Each person we talk to has history. They all have great things to share about themselves. Most people have just never been asked. Because of that, some are uncomfortable opening up right away, but I have found that if you are genuinely interested in people and keep asking in the right way, most will begin to open up, if ever so slowly.

Tonight we had a missionary guest at church - Diane Oliver. Before the service I met her for the first time. Upon greeting her in Sanctuary B room before service, I simply started asking her questions about herself, about her call, her life in Northern Asia, and all kinds of other stuff. There was not a lull or a dull moment in our conversation. I believe the best way to become a great conversationalist is to ask people questions about themself, and then springboard off of that onto life issues. It hasn't failed me yet. I truly believe it's the easiest thing in the world to talk to people you've never met. Just ASK THEM ABOUT THEMSELVES.

I've had thousands of purpose driven conversations, and I'm really convinced...it's the way to go. I'll take it any day over... "Two guys walk into a bar, and the one guy says to the other..."

Why I love "God Problems"

Yesterday afternoon I met my friends, Sharon Kiser (author/speaker) and Pastor Sheri Hawley (co-pastor, Garden Grove A/G) for lunch at the Empress Tea Room here in Tampa.

They drove from their place to meet me here. Sharon has been wanting to come back to the Empress ever since I had her speak for us at our Northside mother/daughter tea. She fell in love with the Victorian room at the Empress. But more than that, we’ve been wanting to get together just to spend the time. It wasn’t a far trek for me, but I was ever so grateful that they came. There was no business agenda, it was pure relationship and connection that we met for, although I never meet with friends like this without talking a lot of shop.

Well, we sat and had tea for four hours. Yes, four hours. Some might find that hard to believe…uh, what in the world would you have to talk about for four hours? First, women always have a lot to talk about. But women in ministry REALLY have a lot to talk about! Honestly, we could have stayed four more if we all didn’t have responsibilities to get back to. When I have a long lunch like this occasionally I never regret the time spent because it energizes and refreshes me so much, I get double the work done later.

Relationships are really a survival key in ministry but more than that, they are the key to thrive. Yes, I am all about the power of the Word, the power of prayer, but you know, there is power in relationship and fellowship too. It’s amazing how when I get together with friends like this, we go from laughing, to crying in a heartbeat. We always have a few “in the trenches” stories to swap and laugh hysterically over them, and new things to share about what God is doing in us.

Today I shared about what God is currently doing in my life, and to my surprise, Sharon just sat and wept she was so happy for me! What a blessing to have people in one's life who are TRULY happy when a window of heaven opens up over you. Honestly, I’ll blog more about the facts of what God is doing in coming weeks. But since it’s still all being still finalized, and every “I” dotted and every “t” crossed, I would rather wait til’ I can post all the facts. You can’t imagine how awesome it was to see two friends so happy for me, and then having them join hands with me and pray for God’s anointing, provision and protection upon me at this juncture in my life.

There is a tremendous amount of power in relationship. Ecclesiastes 4:9.10 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls down and has no one to help him up!”

I am so blessed with so many friends, and people who care. They say if you only have one great friend in life, you have more than most people on the planet have. Well, I have been blessed with so many that I love and who love me, that I don't even have time (nor they) to spend all that we want to spend together. It's difficult to keep the relationships going sometimes, but oh what a wonderful "problem" to have. I love God-problems!

God problems are good things like...

Running out of chairs at church.

Having so many new children/youth at the church it's hard to get enough workers to help lead them.

Having someone donate money to the ministry but having so many worthy projects you aren't sure where to put it.

Having lots of new people get saved and figuring out how you are going to manage discipling them all.

Running out of room in the sanctuary.

Bring it on Lord! God-problems. WHAT AN AWESOME THING.

Thank you Lord, for the God problems that you bring into my life. Thanks for people who help me up…people who care…people who rejoice when good things happen for me…people who aren't jealous but who, from the bottom of their hearts think, "GO GIRL!"...people who are far better friends than I ever dreamed of having in my life.

I pray that I can be the kind of friend they deserve.

My prayer is that you make ME a God-problem in their life...that I'm such a blessing and their only problem is figuring out how to arrange their schedule to spend more time with me.

Why I'm glad my husband wears Nike's

Okay, so this week I found what I consider to be an incredible turnoff…

“Meels”.

What are they? Heels for men.

I am NOT KIDDING. The picture here is REAL and this is a MALE. I hesitate to say man, because…to me a man is, well…a MAN, with a capital “M”. This guy here is really trying to make a male fashion statement - he is not a cross dresser, at least not in the true sense of the word.

What was this designer thinking? In case you are wondering, “Meels” are the latest fashion creation to hit the market, and they were created by a designer, Marjan Pejoski, who is hoping this idea catches on for men worldwide. I can say that excites me about as much as sliding down a razor blade into a vat of alcohol. Yikes!

You know, I consider myself to be a real adventurous, liberated type gal, the kind that wears five earrings in my ears, wild colors of nail polish (usually with designs on at least one of my toes/fingers), walks around my house in just a t-shirt and underwear most of the time if it's just my family, and if the kids aren't home, even less. (Is that TMI?) and a (gasp!) bikini on the beach occasionally. (Note: this is not very scandalous, for a pastor’s wife in Florida.) However…meels? No, no no. Absolutely NOT.

Men need to be…men. And no matter how fashion changes, I am sorry I just cannot accept a man in heels at least not without bursting out laughing at the sight of them.

You know, from time to time I have wanted a more “sensitive” type guy. I have wished my husband was a little more “metro”, a little more the emotional type. Sometimes I’ve thought, “why can’t he be a little more like me?” But now that I’ve seen meels? I’ll take my Nike-wearing, starter jacket wearing, sweaty, even keeled, unemotional macho man ANY DAY of the week.

Honestly, my husband’s heart starts beating faster with excitement when he sees me in a pair of heels, but if I saw him in a pair? I think I’d have a heart attack and die. What in the world was this designer thinking? I can’t imagine any women liking this.

What do you think? Women, would there be ANY attraction in this for you at all?

Why I won't sign up for a beating - Part III

Following is the final segment of the topic I started three days ago. You might want to go back and catch up if you haven't read the first two. Alright, grab a cup of coffee and let's talk.

So what do you do when somebody doesn’t wait for the phone call, they don’t make an appointment, they just come up to you and verbally spew their negativity on you unannounced?

To all you pastors and pastor's wives who are reading this who may wonder what I do in this case -- when people are about three words into their grievances, I try to end the conversation somehow and go stand by one of my armor bearers. (For those of you who are not leaders or may not be familiar with this term, it is from the scripture – you can read about it in I Samuel 14 with the relationship between Jonathan and his armor bearer. An armor bearer is one who has been specifically appointed to support those in leadership. Terry Nance has excellent books on this subject. Also to read a quick article on this from another ministry about armor bearing, click here.)

Anyway, I give my armor bearers “the signal” that we have just between us to hurry over to me. Usually I would never have to do that as they are really with me all the time. I now have them with me at every class I teach or every service I preach at, or really anywhere I'm ministering. (They travel with me too, whenever possible.)

We don't have a difficult church. We're so blessed. In fact we have a very loving church body. But every now and again we deal with this just like every pastor out there does. And you have to be prepared. You don't wait until the attack to form a strategy to deal with it. God has given us special people in the body who are called to assist us. I believe there are gifted people in each church with this calling - many just haven't realized it yet. If we do not release them to this ministry we are actually holding them back from their calling.

I have known for years about the blessing of an armor bearer and the need for it, but not done anything really “official” until more recently. If somebody stepped up to help me, great, but if not I just muddled through in the past. I realize, in order to move forward, the days of that are over. My friend, Pastor Sandy Phinazee showed me the need for this. Years ago, her husband instructed two ladies in the church, "Pastor Sandy is NEVER to be left alone. Stay by her side at all times." These ladies help, serve and protect Sandy. This enables her to minister with greater anointing and power. I've learned a lot from her example. In our office, Larry and I have the best administrative assistant that has ever walked the face of the planet. Nobody will get beyond the office foyer that is there to try to beat up one of our staff with their words. Most people could not get to us on the phone for that purpose either as our assistant does a great job of screening calls.

I think most pastors would find that there are people in their church who are ready to stand with them as armor bearers and protect them if they just call on them. There are people in your church who are HONORED to stand with you. They have this CALLING so if you don’t use them, their gift is being squandered.

Our board stands with us strongly. We can ask them for help with anything and they readily step up to the plate. Larry and I have our pastoral staff who stand by us as such, and they are wonderful armor bearers. But many times they are busy with their focus on many other things within their departments or church ministries that would preclude them from staying right by my side. So, I also have two ladies in the church, Lisa and Cathy, who now serve in personally assisting me, just as my friend Pastor Sandy has for her. Lisa and Cathy now take turns every other week. They show up early to church, walking with me everywhere I go during church services and events, to and from the class I teach, to the sanctuary, to the prayer room, and they go with me when I preach somewhere. They are there to not only minister to my practical needs, but to keep me safe from anything that would come against me and affect the anointing of God on my life. Sometimes when it is needed, the both help me at the same time when it’s a particularly busy service or I’m overwhelmed. Our head usher, Tom, is also always keeping a protective eye on Larry and I, not just during the services, but before and after.

There are times there are way too many people around me for me to handle on my own who are seeking prayer or ministry. This happens more and more in growing church where even though you minister to as many as people possible afterwards, you probably won’t get to everybody.

I thank God for these ladies, and I believe others will be raised up too, to be armor bearers. I believe many pastors would find there are some people in their church just waiting to be asked to do this. If you are wanting to develop a team of people to help you in this way in ministry I really encourage you to find a pastor friend who has this working for them and ask them to give you practical helps to get it started. And, read some articles on line about it and get ahold of Nance’s books.

Sometimes in years past I would be so weary from dealing with stuff like this. One day I found myself emotionally weary from it and I felt the Lord say to me, "Deanna, I don't provide strength for unordained tasks." I got the message. God never expected me to endure that verbal beating - instead he wanted me to get away from it, not ask him for strength to bear up under it. If a woman in your church was being beaten up by a man you would not say, "just ask the Lord for strength to endure." You would tell her to flee to safety. By the same token, why do we as leaders take verbal thrashings, then ask for strength to tolerate them? Just stop the insanity and decide never to expose yourself to that again. If a woman was being beaten we probably wouldn't even say, "honey just love him out the door..." we'd probably say run for your life! So in my humble opinion, "loving them out the door" with a thinking of you card or such is more than enough grace to extend in this situation.

Years ago at our previous church there was a member who used to speak to my husband in this very disrespectful way and would verbally lash out at him. She would make appointments just to tell him everything she wasn’t happy with in the church. Now I know there are times when issues need to be discussed in leadership and problems worked out, just as Matthew 18 tells us to, but I don't believe anyone should EVER lash out or speak to their pastors in a disrespectful way. My husband put up with it for a long time because he felt it was just part of the territory. He felt it was expected of him as the pastor to listen to her unload on him all she was unhappy about. She was a long standing church member and influential. Then one day he realized, no matter who she was, he never had to meet with her if he didn't want to. It was a choice on his part. He chose not to. And with that decision it was like the weight of the world was lifted off of his shoulders. At the root of his meeting with her, we realized it was fear of man/woman rather than fear of the Lord.

WHY won't I sign up for a beating? Because God never asked me to. Plain and simple.

Why I won't sign up for a beating - Part II

Following is the continuation of my post from yesterday.

2) Unloading

The second reason people want a call or visit from the pastor or pastoral staff after they unhappily leave is to unload on the pastor everything they didn't like about the church. Often they want to regurgitate any slight they felt they received from somebody there. Perhaps the youth pastor is encouraging "the wrong kind of kids" to come to the youth group and they don't want these kids around theirs, the senior pastor is not accessible enough, the music pastor didn't give them a choir solo, the kids aren't well behaved enough in the children's church and they think the children's pastor should control them better, the senior pastor's wife isn’t becoming their best friend like they hoped for, their "ministry gifts" just aren't utilized enough, the facilities aren’t good enough, you didn't shake their hand at the door one time, your messages just aren't "deep enough" or the ever famous..."we're just not being fed." One thing's for sure - many folks can't wait to give you the "Top Ten Reasons Why We're Leaving Your Church" speech.

If you don’t give them opportunity to give this speech (and even when you do) they can’t wait to give a command performance of the speech to anybody they see from your church in the grocery store, at the mall or the local restaurant. Unloading is one of their talents, and all the world is a stage for these folks, but again I have never quite been able to locate that in the scriptures.

I don't believe pastors should sign themselves up for this vocal whipping. And that's exactly what they do when agree to endure this type of conversation.

Our friend was at a pastor's conference where Pastor Mike Purkey spoke and he told the pastors there that he stopped making any of those kind of calls years ago because it was completely pointless. He said, "Why should I schedule an appointment for somebody to trash me and my church for an hour...for someone to verbally hit me over the head? It just doesn't make sense."

I wish I would have realized for the first decade of our ministry that I didn't have to have these type of meetings. I just thought they were a requirement - I didn't think there was a choice. Some say, “I have to do that…I have a small church.” And to that I say…how do big churches get big? I can’t really see Bill Hybels or Andy Stanley sitting down for too many vocal poundings. I realize these men pastor churches of thousands at this point but at one time in their ministry they started with nothing. Both of them started their churches. So when did they begin to tell their secretary, “don’t put any calls through from _______________”?? It had to start somewhere.

A few years ago, a lady made an appointment with my husband to let him know she was leaving. We knew for a while that she was unhappy and had issues. She absolutely insisted on a meeting. I know she had been storing up all of her complaints for a while and just waiting until she could dump them all out. My husband was dreading it but determined he wasn’t going to let her speak a toxic word in his office. She came in to tell my husband she was leaving and after she said, "After much prayer, I've decided to leave..." he immediately said, "thank you for personally letting me know. We send you forth with our blessing, and please let me pray for you." Without giving any opportunity or room for her to start going into her tirade, he went into prayer, prayed a blessing over her, said amen, stood up, opened his office door to let her exit and said, "we bless you as you go and if you would like to come back in the future, the door is always open. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other matters to attend to." And that was it. He walked out. It was a meeting that didn't even take five minutes. She was rather displeased that he would not entertain her criticism, but honestly, the Lord didn't call him to do that. My husband is a pastor, not a customer service rep.

It's very demoralizing for a pastor to sit there and listen ad nauseum to a person who shares everything they don't like about them or the church until they exhaust themself. Yes, maybe they feel better after they do that, but you feel like you were just run over by a truck. So, in my opinion, this is a bad idea for pastors to keep investing their time in such. That same hour could be spent investing in and calling on someone who is actually excited about your church. This past week my husband was reading an article by Ed Young that said that most churches are worried more about losing people than they are about winning lost people. And that is why the majority of churches in America do not grow.

Many pastors talk about people leaving and advise you to, "love them out the door" if they decide to leave. That's advice I concur with. We should always love, and bless people as they go, but I think love can come in another form than a phone call or an exit meeting where you have to hear the “ten things I hate about you.”

There are other ways to show you care without putting yourself in position to be verbally stabbed.Years ago I decided to make this change. I don't believe God has ordained me to chase people who have spiritual ADD, nor be a dumpster for verbal unpacking just because it will feel better for somebody to get something off their chest. I have heard it said that people today are so angry at a myriad of things and many times they take their rage out on their pastor and use them as a punching bag. I was advised years ago by a mentor that often women in the church who have bad relationships with their mother will mistreat the pastor's wife. This is because she is the "spiritual mother" of the church and they see her in an adversarial way because they didn't have a good relationship with their mother. That may be true but I don't believe the fact that somebody grew up with a less than perfect relationship with their Mom means I now have to bear the brunt of it.

God didn't call me to be a punching bag. He did call me to be a trainer, equipper, shepherd, mentor, a leader - but a punching bag? No, I don't recall that being on the job description, at my minister's licensing interview, or most importantly - in the Bible.

In the aforementioned circumstances, my way of "loving people out the door" is usually to send them a card or letter. I would communicate in that way that they are missed and loved, but doing so through a letter does not give them opportunity to turn around and verbally unload. What is necessary has been accomplished. If they are bent on leaving, they are going to do it anyway despite my card or letter, but at least I didn't have to be in a position to be verbally battered doing it this way. There are advantages to writing rather than doing things in person. There are times where I believe writing is the best recourse in a matter and this would be one of those times.

Tomorrow I'm going to conclude with Part III on the subject of how to avoid a verbal beating that has not been expected or scheduled - in other words, when people catch you off guard.