A RIDICULOUS harvest!

Leviticus 26:9-11 " 'I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you. You will still be eating last year's harvest when you will have to move it out to make room for the new."

Here is the final word from the Lord for me in these last hours of 2006. I need to be packing for vacation and cleaning but I simply had to reflect for a few moments on closing out the 2006 year. If there's anything I want to close my year out with, it's writing. Because, WHAT A YEAR IT HAS BEEN. If every year was like this...my oh my.

We have been so blessed. What a year of harvest. The final count at Northside is 122 souls saved for 2006. We had a salvation and one rededication this morning in service. And onward we go. Of course the most important thing has been salvations, however there has been so much MORE. I see blessings in my family, in our church families, in our church as a whole. In my life personally...I could just go on and on with pages and pages of the blessing of God.

This verse describes where I'm at perfectly. God has poured favor upon us. He has made us fruitful and increased our numbers. So here we are still eating last year's harvest and God is saying, "MAKE ROOM, I'VE GOT A BUNCH MORE!!!"

It was prophesied a few years ago that we would have "a ridiculous harvest at Northside..." and more recently Randy Brummitt prophesied one night that we were getting ready for a Holy Ghost Tsunami in our church. I've never forgotten his message and the Word he had at the conclusion of the service for the church. It was really powerful. That night I had a migraine and felt as sick as a dog however I pushed through it and hung on to every word he said because it was so powerful I didn't want to miss a thing. At one point I was basically laying across Larry's chest during the service because I was so sick but I just HAD TO BE THERE. God was speaking to us so mightily. Then after the service at the back table, Randy said, "I have a word for you personally, but didn't want to give it during the service..." and he went into some stuff he said God was ready to download in my life in this next year. GOOD STUFF. I can't wait.

Great things are in store. At the same time I know the enemy is not happy. New level, new devil. Everytime we take a surge forward, Larry and I need to brace ourselves for cancelling the enemy's next assignment. What a butthead he is. He actually thinks Larry and I are going to get discouraged enough to quit at times. You think after 20 years he would know to leave us alone. We're never giving up or giving in.

This past year so many milestones happened. God gave us a dream team staff. I blog on here ad nauseum about it so I'll stop there on the staff issue for now. (Operative phrase: for now.) I turned 40 this year. Reclarified my life, my personal mission, vision, core values, and life goals. I read Jim Denney's book a few weeks before my birthday, with tears streaming down my face and realized all over again why I've personally been put on the planet. My family greatly prospered this year. By this, I mean in all things but particularly spiritually. I can't thank the Lord enough for how far my boys have come and a large part of that is the leadership he has provided. For this I am ever grateful. To have kids who love the Lord? Nothing is greater. Larry and I prospered in our marriage this year. We are in our 20th year and crazier about each other than ever. How much better does it get than THAT? So much to be thankful for. On top of all that, God gave us the greatest missionfield ever, and the greatest church family ever.

This is the first year in forever that we haven't had a new year's eve party. But I knew with getting ready for the trip it was unwise. To do it like I like to (up right), AND get it cleaned up properly, AND get packed properly -- would have been insane. So, here we are on a quiet night, just waiting for Matt and Linds to eventually come over after the see they ball drop at their party.

Every time we go away somewhere, I have the last ceremonial "enjoying of my house and neighborhood." It sounds crazy, but being home is my greatest relaxation most times because I've made it a haven. I work hard, but I come home to a life I have created which gives me the downtime I need.

Despite having little sleep last night I woke up extra early to sit on my back patio and drink my coffee this morning while the sun was coming up. I just didn't want to miss it. So I got a shower, put on my bathrobe, got my coffee, went out on my swing and watched the sun come up while I talked to the Lord about the morning service and how glad I was to start my day with him. Moving right along we had a great day at church. Went to Moe's with a bunch of people for lunch and I realized once more how much I'll miss them all while I'm away...but this trip is necessary for my family and for me.

Dropped Savannah D. off at her house after lunch and came home to get in my exercise clothes and leave on my bike. I decided to stay out a long time since it's my last time for a week. I didn't want to come home it was so wonderful, but when I saw the street lights coming on, I knew it was time. :-) I listened to some new worship stuff I loaded on my mp3 while riding with the exception of listening to Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" at one point. So the last ceremonial bike ride of 2006 and for the next week is...done. Pastor Lindsay and I will be doing our workouts at the resort now in TN, and we WILL be faithful with it. Let me tell you, after this coming year, people will not be singing, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" but instead they'll change their tune to, "Don't you wish your pastor was hot like mine?" (ha ha!)

On that note, I'd better quit while I'm ahead...

It's been a phenomenal 2006 and I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for the coming year. I sense Him lining things up for something RIDICULOUS!

Ten things that will NEVER change about me

Times change. Seasons change. Feelings change. But some things NEVER DO. Okay, so scripture tells us that the Word of God will never change, never fade away. Most things in this life you can't count on staying the same, in fact very few things. However today I'd like to share with you ten things about me that will NEVER CHANGE.

1) I love Jesus with my life, not just my heart. A lot of people can say they love something/someone with their whole heart, but does what they do with their life reflect it?

2) If I say I'll be somewhere, I'll be there. (If not, call 911 because something is REALLY wrong, such as...my pulse has stopped. )

3) If I commit to do something, count on it. (Again, the 911 rule applies)

4) I'll always like pink.

5) I'll always savor my coffee and tea. (Not just in the morning but pretty much all the time.)

6) Writing to me is as essential as breathing.

7) Sunday School is a close runner up to that. If I couldn't write or teach Sunday School, I wouldn't want to live. (Yes, I'm serious.)

8) I love snuggling with my family.

9) If I don't show up at church...again there's that 911 thing. Either call 911 or come visit me at University Community Hospital. I either need an ambulance or that's where I already am if you don't see me, other than my official vacation time. (Which btw, I always go to church on vacation as well. Great opportunity to see what's going on in other houses! We already have our church picked out for this vacation...and I'm so excited. Looks like a great innovative place. (I'll let you know how it goes.) By the way, if I do happen to miss church and I'm in the hospital for some reason and not on vacation, please bring me some food. I would like that more than flowers. Make it some "sinless cake batter ice cream" from Coldstone or something like that. As I am rarely sick, this may only cost you about $4.00 or so (five bucks at most) every decade or something like that for each time I get sick. (Thank you, in advance.)

10) I get knocked down, but I get up again. (hey, somebody should write a song about that!) :-)

Invincible future

"You shall not go out with haste . . . ." As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, forgetful delight, nor with the quickness of impulsive thoughtlessness. But let us go out with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays hold broken and irreversible things for us. It is true that we have lost opportunities that will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ.
Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.-- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Just starting this last morning of 2006. It's 6:45 and I'm just quieting myself here with a cup of coffee getting ready to leave for church. And, getting ready to step into the invincible future.

The path

Proverbs 4:18 says, "The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn that shines brighter and brighter until the full day."

I know my path was planned ahead of time by God but I sure wish he would have told me about my schedule today last night. I planned on being at home ALL DAY doing nothing but getting ready for tomorrow's service (last minute stuff) and then cleaning and packing. No dice. But that's alright, I am used to leaping tall buildings in a single bound. Remember, it's all about keeping the plates spinning, and balls juggling! THIS I know how to do.

Larry & Jordan had the men's golf tourney. Larry's team won which happens most times. Jordan did real good though. He's talented no matter what sport he tries. Got a call late afternoon to pick up Dustin from work...and to take him and Savanna for haircuts. Basically this took me 1/2 my day once I got on the road. But that's alright. Somehow despite being gone half the day, and not getting home til' almost 5...everything will be ready. See photos from golf outing and kids new haircuts, above.

I'm so excited for vacation I can hardly stand it!!!

Somebody get the marshmallow creme!!!

What is it that causes some people to be able to handle so much and others the ability to handle so little? I have observed this in life and ministry. It’s something I’ve encountered in church work that drives me to eat every time. (Remember, we A/G credential holders don’t drink – we just eat a bag of potato chips or a carton of ice cream when we get upset.)

Particularly with women, I notice that some are pillars of strength. They seem to keep a million plates spinning and a zillion balls in the air juggling. They typify the term, “multi-tasker.” If an extra plate or ball get thrown in they just catch it, put it in the rotation and keep going. If something happens they didn’t expect, they roll with it. New projects? They welcome them. Challenges? Can’t get enough of them. They are movers and shakers. They keep homes, workplaces, school classrooms, and churches going.

So then there are the others. Just like in the TV show Lost, “the others” are on the other side of the island. They really don’t hang with the movers and shakers. Just try to hand them a plate or ball and they start quaking in their boots. More than one plate or ball, and they are “overwhelmed.” If they have two or three plates or balls, they consider life to be unmanageable. In fact they’ll often say, “with so much on my plate…I don’t think I can…” and meanwhile you look at the plate and don’t see anything really on it. You wonder, how do these women manage to shampoo and condition their hair in ONE DAY? How do they wear not one, but TWO earrings at ONE TIME? Do they manage to walk AND chew gum at the same time? You have to wonder. At least I do. Surely I can't be the only one who thinks these things. Maybe I'm the only one that actually SAYS them, but thinks them? Nah. If you are one like me with a truly loaded plate, you do wonder how these types manage to get along in life. Meanwhile they are wondering how we're not having a heart attack.

This would not be so unlike gazing at a laden down plate at Golden Corral, with stacked up fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, dinner rolls, and a whole lot more, versus somebody else’s plate with a piece of broccoli and three grapes, and the broccoli/grape person going, “uhhh…this plate is so full.” It’s kind of like 120 pound women who pinch their thighs and exclaim, “I’m so fat!!!!” It just makes you want to wash their mouth out with marshmallow cream and slosh it down with a slurpee. Like, hello… you are not fat, so just shut up before we lock you up in a Sunday School classroom, feed you nothing but Sonic Burgers for 3 months and just tell the church you went on a missions trip somewhere.

I have found usually there isn’t a lot of middle ground. You have people with heaping plates, or people with relatively empty plates. And neither really has a realistic picture of how much is really on the plate. Those with the truly full plate are always convinced they can do more (although they really are at their limit). As for me, I’m always trying to figure out how to squeeze just one more thing on there. And I realize sometimes that’s stupid and I really shouldn’t. But then there are those with the empty plate who will always be convinced they’ve got a full one. Are they just great actresses? No, I don’t think so. I think they really believe their plate is full. They may not be on Lost, but for sure they are on Fantasy Island.People who think they have a full plate (but don’t) pretty much drive me crazy because they have no understanding of the life of a person like me, or Pastor Linds, or Misty Mackley or any of my other plate spinning, ball juggling colleagues.

One time someone told me they couldn’t attend a church event because “their plate was so full”. For the life of me I can’t think of what they have to do that takes so much time since they:

1) Do not have kids in the home.

2) Do not have a job.

3) Do not have an immaculate home.

4) Are not sick.

5) Don't have a husband who's sick.

6) Don't have family members who are disabled or sick.

7) No longer do any ministry in the church.

So, what pray tell, would be on the plate? Lunch with friends? Being on the phone? Filling their estrogen prescription? Getting their nails done? Buying gifts for their grandbabies? Knitting? Watching TV? Changing their clothes after another hot flash? Sitting on their porch in a rocker?

Maybe this is a case for Court TV. One thing I will guarantee, Nancy Grace WILL find out what’s on that plate!!!

Somebody get me the marshmallow cream and a slurpee. You hold them down, I’ll shove it in while we wait for Nancy Grace to show up.

Life is good here

It was a beautiful day in Tampa today. Wednesday it was so cold I wore my leather coat all the way through our dinner out. Today it was so hot I wore shorts and a tank top. Upon coming home from riding my bike I couldn’t wait to get in a cool shower. I got all cleaned up and picked out some more summer clothes to wear. Here I am – above - sitting on my back patio on my swing. Also a couple of pics with Larry & Savanna by the lake in our backyard.

We still had more returns to do tonight from Christmas. Returns and exchanges – after tonight they are OVER! I needed to take my Mp3 back before vacation to make sure I had enough tunes/podcasts to last me for a 10 hour ride plus exercising in the workout room. Also had to return Savanna’s sneakers and get a bigger size. She is a LADIES 7 and ½ now. That’s unbelievable to me for her age. She’s the tallest in the class and she also has larger feet to go along with it. All this means…she may just be the next Tyra Banks? Who knows. I tell her, it’s good to be tall. We spent more of our Christmas money from family/friends and I got a pair of killer jeans. Savanna says, “Momma, you’re in the juniors section again…” (Shhhhh…don’t tell anybody, I usually shop there…the clothes are much more exciting.)

I made a big pot of soup today and had it simmering on the stove most of the day today. Larry wanted to use one of our gift certificates we got for Christmas though, and go out while we were out doing returns and exchanges. It was just him, SR and me. The boys are still off on their jaunts with their friends. And now it’s back home again for a quiet evening, still washing loads of clothes, getting packed, sharing meals, cleaning house as we go along, and spending time together.

Life is good here in Tampa, Florida.

Unashamedly Resting

"Wow, that's a lotta rest you're getting there, Pastor Deanna..."

Yep, you're right. I'm unabashedly, unashamedly...RESTING. (Except for services this week, and any emergencies...and, knock on wood, we haven't had any emergencies this week so far.) For those reading who have never been aware of what we do here at NS this week...my husband and I close the office down from December 26 until January 2. Staffers only have to come in and be prepared for regularly scheduled services, necessities that can't wait like bank deposits, etc., and we are also on call 24/7 for emergencies. It is not our actual "vacation time" because we still prepare for and do services and "must do paper work" or things like our ezines, plus we stay on call. The only difference is, we don't keep office hours. But it's a wonderful gift we all have, to move at a slow pace and be home with our families, excepting these other few mandatory things. It's always a week we all cherish. When there are no emergencies, it's just awesome. Even with emergencies, it's usually not too bad because even one of those sometimes only takes a few hours to attend to depending on what it is.

This year is especially awesome for our family & Pastors Matt & Lindsay, because we're going on vacation together on the heels of this week. Yippee!!! We are going to take one of our actual "away" vacation weeks and go to Tennessee where we are going to play in the snow and spend time in the mountains. For anybody planning to toilet paper my yard or anything while I'm away, just know that Pastor Aaron and Geena the Wonder Dog will be living here and guarding it 24/7! :-) But back to down time...

Oh how great it is. Today I slept in and my darling Larry brought me breakfast in bed. Now, how much better does it get than that? The boys are visiting with friends 24/7, either having them here or going over to their houses. Steven (above with Dustin) has been living here a lot this week, which is always nice. Savanna (above pic of her just a few minutes ago) is getting ready to go ice skating in about 15 minutes with her friend, Savannah D. (We always have to call her Savannah D. to distinguish the two...they are in the same class and I imagine the teachers have a challenge too since they are always together....Savanna S., Savannah D., and Winter. What a beautiful name!)

I think today I'm going to work out (hey, I've lost 4 pounds since Christmas day! I told you, I got saved again, alright?!!!) and maybe even ride my bike at least an hour. I have to go take my Mp3 back that I got for Christmas. It won't work. Bummer. I have to hurry and get another one b/c is makes my workout so much faster. I'm going to start listening to podcast sermons while I ride my bike each morning. I can't wait!!!

I have been packing for TN for 2 days now. Why? It's going to be a challenge with the luggage restriction Larry has given us. I'm packing, re-packing, re-deciding what I'm going to take. I actually don't have many winter clothes at all. I got rid of 99.9% of them when I moved here. But the issue is, just two sweatshirts takes up a major amount of room in my suitcase along with all the other stuff I want to take. Winter stuff just takes up so much room. Another reason I'm glad I moved to Florida. Oh how blessed we are.

Oh how blessed I am for this time, to be unashamedly RESTING!
When we get back it's gonna take off like a rocket, this 2007 year. So I'm trying to gear up all I can. What a fabulous year this is going to be. If last year is any indication...we're headed for something miraculous. I am blessed with THE most beautiful place to live, THE greatest church family in the world, THE most awesome staff ever, and I live with four people I love more than anything in the world. Sometimes you have to take a serious rest, even with all that.

I really hope...

I really hope our church keeps growing next year at the same clip it is now!

I really hope I reach my next weight loss goal.

I really hope Whitney Houston really goes through with her divorce from Bobby Brown.

I really hope our staff 'campaign' works. (inside joke)

I really hope Cold Stone Creamery keeps their "sinless cake batter" flavor. (it wasn't there last week. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?)

I really hope my husband stays on weight watchers with me. (He's doing so well. He was a fine man before...but look at him now!)

I really hope I can be a part of changing many lives in this coming year.

I really hope to be in the best shape of my life in 2007.

I really hope I get enough sleep with Dustin having his own car and all now.

I really hope I make some major strides in writing this year.

I really hope Rosie O'Donnell gets fired from The View and any other network show where America has to put up with seeing her face or hearing her anymore.

I really hope Sawyer and Kate stay together on Lost. If either one gets killed off, I just won't watch it anymore.

I really hope I can personally help more people cross the line of faith this year.

I really hope I can stick closely to my life's mission and vision this year and not be distracted by things the enemy puts in my path.

I really hope the time I'm taking off this year energizes and revitalizes me for a fantastic working year.

I really hope things on staff keep going the same. What a banner year!

I really hope everyone in my life knows how much I really do love them.

I really hope...for so much more. What can I say, I'm a person who believes, hope is not lost!

I got saved again today

Today in My Utmost for His Highest (Oswald Chambers):

" . . . unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven —Matthew 18:3

"These words of our Lord refer to our initial conversion, but we should continue to turn to God as children, being continuously converted every day of our lives. If we trust in our own abilities, instead of God’s, we produce consequences for which God will hold us responsible. When God through His sovereignty brings us into new situations, we should immediately make sure that our natural life submits to the spiritual, obeying the orders of the Spirit of God. Just because we have responded properly in the past is no guarantee that we will do so again. The response of the natural to the spiritual should be continuous conversion, but this is where we so often refuse to be obedient. No matter what our situation is, the Spirit of God remains unchanged and His salvation unaltered. But we must "put on the new man . . ." (Ephesians 4:24 ). God holds us accountable every time we refuse to convert ourselves, and He sees our refusal as willful disobedience. Our natural life must not rule— God must rule in us."

Ah yes, letting God rule in me. This is the story of my life. I'm getting saved every day. I am "working out my salvation" as the scripture says, and trust me, this is quite a work for me. Was I already saved? Yes, but every day I have to make a renewed commitment to living this way. Because when anything in my life is stressful or not working...I want to give rule to something else that is so much a part of my natural self, like emotional eating or perfectionism. I know this is a process of me being "continually converted" to be more like Him and less like that carnal part of myself.

Like Oswald said, "Just because we have responded properly in the past does not mean we will do so again." How well I know that. Take eating last week, for instance. I had several days of doing just the right things -- doing all that was good for me. Then again I had a day where I ate a Johnny Rocket's burger. A day where I had a piece of pumpkin pie (yes, it was Christmas, but still...), a day where I ate some pure out junk, like regular potato chips. Okay, so I'm getting saved from that all over again. :-) Some people might laugh at that, but I'm serious. This for me is a very spiritual issue. Either the Lord rules in you, or He doesn't. Many times in my life 7-Eleven ruled. Seriously. I was addicted to Slurpees. Friends laughed hysterically the other day when I confessed to them that one time I ate an entire BOX (yes BOX) of Sam's chocolate e-clairs...in one sitting! Why? Stress. But no matter. Does the Lord rule over stress, or do Sam's eclairs? That is the question. In the past, whatever happened to be in front of me at the time ruled. If nothing particular was in front of me, I would plan what I would get in front of me next.

Well, as I said, here I go, it's December 28, and I am saved once again for another day. And I'm on to my next weight goal, and my next life goals. These are not just pipe dreams for me...I've seen quite a few of my goals come true these last few years.

It really helps in achieving your goals if you decide to get saved every day.

Day of renewal

Writing this real late at night, actually it's early Thurs. am right now (12:45 am) but I'm just winding down for the night after a wonderfully relaxing day. We are enjoying our week of moving at a slower pace and just doing services and emergencies.

Today was a day of renewal for me. I had my nails and hair done. I was in need of an overhaul. It's been almost a month since I had a fill. I've been that busy. Just no time to go get it done. Mai was on vacation today so Kevin did my feet and Lisa was sick so Cindy did my nails. They both do a superb job, so I was just fine with the change. Ada was a delight as always. This last color and cut was the only time I've ever had something from her that just didn't work for me. I was happy with it the day we did it but then the last month was just odd. So while she fixed it and got the look and feel back that I wanted, we caught up and were energized as usual by the conversation. I usually go from laughing to crying. (In a good way, always a good way.) The time of getting my hair done is always as much a spiritual renewal as a physical one. I also spent a little more of my Christmas money at Bealls. Now, that right there is a perfect day, right?

Well, I was super pleased with my latest haircolor and said g'bye to Ada and headed out with Larry to meet our friends Pastors Gary & Tammy Rice for dinner. at Don Pablos. How wonderful it is to now have them with us here in Florida!!! Had a great time of fellowship and as usual with times like this, it just seems too short. So much to talk about, so little time.

Panning for Gold

On Sunday Pastor Linds seemed a little stressed out before service and when I said, “what’s wrong?,” she said, “my success today is just dependent upon a lot of other people…” I said, “that’s my life every day.” I realized in just that brief exchange that as she begins her ministry, she is experiencing one of the biggest stressors that we as ministers often face.

With this issue lies a lot of my frustration over the years. The same struggle my dear Lindsay is facing is one I have dealt with for 20 years. I am a person 100% determined to succeed every time, and I’m willing to do anything to achieve that goal. I’ll inconvenience myself, change my plans, stay up late, get up early, work tediously, climb a mountain, or whatever is necessary to get the job done. I have basically taken the word impossible out of my dictionary.

The problem comes when you work with people who are not willing to ever be inconvenienced, will not change their plans, stay up late, get up early, work tediously, climb a mountain, or do whatever it takes to get the job done. As Pastor Aaron so often says, “it’s an issue of shared values, or lack thereof.”

At this point our pastoral staff share the same values. So, why do we still often feel some frustration? Volunteers.

You can only have so many paid staff members. Part of my frustration before was having paid staff members who didn’t work despite the fact that they were indeed, paid. No, they are not supposed to be hirelings [um, I wish some of the time they WOULD have been hirelings…at least a hireling DOES work.] The point is, staff members are hired and paid, but it needs to go beyond that to be a true calling. Honestly, I’d be doing what I’m doing now whether I was paid or not. In fact, for most of my ministry I was unpaid. So I know too well what that’s all about.

All of us on staff work with what I would loosely call “volunteers.” I hate that term because I believe EVERYONE should be “called” whether paid or not. A Sunday school teacher should not consider themselves a volunteer but a called one. The same with worship team members, drama people, nursery workers, or whoever. As I mentioned before, for years, I was not paid, yet I was called and I worked as if I was being paid a million bucks. There were weeks I worked 90 hours a week but was never paid a dime. The money wasn’t the issue – the issue for me was call, commitment and excellence.

For twenty four years straight now I have been teaching a Sunday School class. I have taught middlers, junior high, senior high, the main adult sanctuary class, and now the women’s class. I have taught SS through highs and lows. Through school, getting married, having three babies, a miscarriage, and many other things, I couldn’t imagine abandoning my post. A soldier never does that.

Many times we pastors work with those who really don’t take the call to a certain ministry seriously, whether it be working in kids church or parking cars. The majority of the church is not salaried, they simply walk in and out whenever they please, show up when they want, etc. Thus, when your effectiveness as a pastor is hinging on what they do it can often make your life extremely difficult. Your success many times really is tied up in whether they are diligent or not. A day in ministry with A-WOL people abandoning their posts or just getting sloppy can threaten to send you to the nut house sometimes. It has never sent me to the nut house yet but it has sent me to the “chocolate factory”, drowning myself in a hot fudge sundae and a double latte. Someone not showing up, coming late, not following through on an assignment, or just doing a mediocre job has the potential to really make one depressed who is counting on them. The fact is, when they don’t do well, you don’t do well.

I remember when Ted Haggard was dismissed from New Life Church, I asked my husband, “where in the world does a man like Ted Haggard now go to get a job?” My husband said, “I’m sure a lot of companies would be interested in hiring him as an exec.” When I asked why, Larry said, “If he can mobilize that many volunteers successfully over that many years in the building of New Life Church, what could he actually manage with people who are all paid workers?” Larry is right. Any secular company would have to be foolish to not hire him. He obviously possesses a lot of motivational and leadership skills. (Not to diminish the seriousness of the sin he was involved in – I definitely don’t agree with it. His character did not match his talent and he had to repent and get things straight which thankfully seems to be what he is doing now.) My point is simply the obvious leadership skills he had to possess to have a 14,000 member church. Fact is, he’s an great gatherer of people, an incredible visionary and probably an excellent manager.) Anyone who is an effective pastor would also probably be very good at working as an exec in the private sector. This is because they are doing with total volunteers what CEO’s have to pay people to do. They are basically...working miracles! Some of the greatest miracles I have witnessed have not been people coming out of wheelchairs healed, but people who are unpaid simply going the extra mile and then some in ministry.

I heard someone once say (I think it was Maxwell) that a pastor has the hardest job in the world because it is necessary to build a big work force to sustain their organization, using completely unpaid volunteers. This is difficult even in a church of 100 or less. In fact, I have to admit something…it was honestly a lot harder when we did pastor a small church.

Solo pastors have it hardest of all. Larry and I have never been totally solo because we have always co-pastored and given 100% as individuals and as a couple so in effect our churches always had two full time pastors right off the top just with us alone. But I realize, for those who are really out there solo, it’s amazing how they do what they do. Because they have no paid staff…they’re it. They don’t even have someone they can say, “hey, get this done, or you’re toast…” They have no leverage whatsoever and sometimes feel so overwhelmed. They are having to keep the machine we call church going while trying to bring the power and presence of God into the place and keep a spiritual climate. That is nothing short of a miracle.

Many times you aren’t thinking of anything spiritual in an atmosphere like that, you are just thinking, “what are we going to do now that three Sunday School teachers resigned??” and “what do I do now that the piano player left the church?” Fortunately for Lar and I, we have always been able to wear a million hats and just keep things going between us, and help one another salvage the mess when somebody backs out or lets us down. And when you get to the point where you have several staff members, you really go more from pastoring a church to pastoring a staff and leadership team.

I believe it was Bill Gates who said, “For somebody to succeed, a lot of people have to want them to.” That’s very true. No matter how many hats you wear, or how good you are at damage control, you still have to have a core of people who believe in you and in what you are doing enough to inconvenience themselves, change their plans at times, stay up late, get up early, or whatever needed to help the vision and mission come to pass.

No wonder so many pastors get depressed! Finding those type of individuals is like panning for gold on a pretty much constant basis. I panned for gold when I was in Alaska and I remember how tedious, and also disappointing, it was at times.

This has been churning in my mind since my conversation with Pastor Linds on Sunday. I got to thinking how true her statement is that our success rests with other people doing what they are supposed to do.

Some people would say, “well, if it’s not going well the pastor just needs to learn how to delegate more effectively.” That’s not completely true. There was an event last year where I delegated properly, and I inspected what I expected. However some people still let things slip through the cracks that shouldn’t have. In the end, I was the boss so it came down to me. And what I decided to do was just not put them in charge of the same thing again. Sometimes even the best laid plans do go wrong. There are times I have come home after a service or event and have just wracked my brain thinking, ‘what else could I have done to make this a success or at least salvage it?” Sometimes the answer is nothing. I gave my all. I poured myself out on behalf of the thing and gave it all I had but I could not control what others did. So next time around I have to just learn from the decisions I made the time before and choose more wisely next time. (Sometimes that means not using the same people again although well intentioned.)

I got to thinking as well about how we on staff can all survive the pressure cooker of often having our effectiveness rest on what others do or don’t do. These are just some of my thoughts.

1) We pastors on staff have to constantly encourage one another. We’re all in this together on staff. I’ve often told them, it’s like we’re all on Survivor, and in an alliance together. Sometimes we’re all each other has – so we had better keep spending the time together that we do – investing in each other, and encouraging. That time is never wasted.

2) Look for the “pops” of joy as Luci Swindoll calls them. Her message at Women of Faith really ministered to me. I came to realize, I have to look constantly for the “pops” and eek every moment of joy out of them.

3) Celebrate big time when volunteers give so that the mission/vision can be achieved. I've always done this, but I have a renewed commitment to do it even more. We need to go to another level with taking those people who are committed, diligent and make our success possible and lift them up constantly, with our words, with our appreciation. In other words, when people help us climb the mountain, give special recognition on a regular basis in all of the official communications of the organization. Accentuate those who make that climb with us and don't just stand at the bottom and watch others climb.

4) I’ve often heard Christian psychologists tell Moms and Dads to make sure you “catch your kids doing right” and praise them. I think we spiritual mothers and fathers need to ‘catch our kids doing things right” and praise them extravagantly. Yes, we’re first and foremost gathered to worship the Lord, but His word does tell us to encourage each other, and ‘all the more as we see the day approaching.’

5) Have better training of our workers. What we have is good, but you can never get lax on making improvements. Sometimes I feel like all I do is train and re-train and equip and re-equip, only to have people transfer somewhere else across the country, but that’s okay I’ve just got to keep going. At some point the bench will keep deepening way beyond what’s transferring if we just stay faithful. In fact, I already see that happening in a big way at NS.

6) Build a deeper bench in all of our ministries so when someone backs out or lacks commitment, there are many more working alongside them that can pick up the slack and, inevitably, take over the job, all the while building a deeper bench.

7) Show people even more the eternal rewards our efforts are producing. Bring out front in our ezines, newsletters and pulpit announcements even more the souls saved, lives changed, success stories in the family, etc.

8) Reward faithfulness, commitment and diligence above anything else in the church. (talent, etc.) Make a HUGE deal out of faithfulness. Go pretty nutty with celebrating it, basically. Have a “faithfulness” party at the end of the year, for those extra milers who did whatever it took to get us where we needed to be.

These are just a few of my thoughts to start with. I’m realizing more than ever there’s a reason Larry and I have had our most effective year ever this past year. The pastoral team we have really want us to succeed and their actions reflect that.

By the way, those Pastor Lindsay was counting on came through for her this past week. She can breathe for a few more days now before she has to start holding her breath that the next person will do what they are supposed to do.

Linds, I hope it’s consolation to you that I’m here to listen anytime, or at least pay for your visit to the chocolate factory when you experience a week where you’ve panned for gold, but it’s just sludge in your pan. :-)

Shopping til' we drop

Today we went shopping most of the day, spending our Christmas gift certificates/money. Always an exciting day for the Shrodes family! Savanna got shoes, clothes, a coat for vacation, gloves, hat, etc. Dustin got an IPOD, and I spent most of my money on a leather coat, purse and wallet. We are going to cold weather on this upcoming vacation to Tennessee and I didn't realize til' now just how few suitable clothes I have for cold weather. A leather coat is something I've been wanting for here anyway though since I'm cold natured and I think Jan-Mar is freezing in Florida although most northerners would find that laughable. Anything below 72 or so is freezing to me now. It's amazing how much your body chemistry and your perspective changes once you move down here. We are enjoying a week of a slower pace with just doing services and "emergencies." This is always a great re-cooping week for us before going into the new year and this year it will be even better as we're taking some vacation time on the heels of it.

Christmas Day

The best part of Christmas day for me is...relaxing. Having a little bit of time off. I love work, but the older I get and the more I work the more I grow to value down time.

When my kids were babies, they never slept. They were up every hour or two for the first few years of their life. We never slept it seemed. Now they are making up for lost time. They all LOVE to sleep and I'm so glad about that. For the past few years we have had to wake them up and say, "Aren't you wanting to come get your Christmas presents?" It's not that they don't love Christmas, they just also really love to sleep.

We didn't get rolling on opening Christmas gifts til' 9 and we took it slow and enjoyed it. The kids were very surprised at everything and have been sharing with their friends all day about their presents. I made their favorite sweet rolls and they ate them sitting around the Christmas tree opening their things while I sat on my rocker and drank my tea. I never thought I would come to the point in my life where just rocking by the Christmas tree drinking tea would seem so wonderful to me, but it truly is. So much of my life is fast paced that a day like this? Heaven!

We shared lunch with the Currie's and we made a ham and pumpkin pie and my special dinner rolls. And now we're waiting for Matt and Linds to come over. Steven's here already as usual. :-) He really might as well be Steven Shrodes. Interesting that we almost named Dustin Steven!!! I don't think we've ever told him that. We were going to name him that because Larry's Mom's side of the family are the Stevenson's. But then I liked The name Dustin so much we went with it rather than a family name. Oh well... we now have a "Steven" in the family anyway, just like we have an "Aaron". :-)

We are so blessed to have such special people in our lives.

Well, I've got to get going...I'm so busy -- relaxing and loving it!

'Twas the night before Christmas...

at the Shrodes home! And I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it!!!

We had a great day in the house this morning at church. A packed house, and we have added 90 more chairs to the sanctuary in just the past year. It's amazing. God is so good! We are getting ready to break through our next attendance barrier.

Tonight was Christmas Eve communion. It was much nicer with five staff couples, we had three communion stations, one couple greeting, and one got to take a break every 30 minutes. So we all had 2 and 1/2 hours of serving, and 1/2 hour rest. It was good because standing and serving that long can get difficult on your feet, especially dressed up.

After praying and taking communion together as a staff, we exchanged gifts with those who couldn't go to dinner with us, then went to dinner with the rest and exchanged more. I will not tell on a blog that can be read by millions what I did to Pastor Lindsay at dinner when she opened her gift. Suffice it to say it was SO FUNNY. Our favorite chinese restaurant, it appears, has closed - so we ended up at Larry and T's favorite over on Fowler. It was good. The best is the time spent together anyway, not the actual dinner. I got a beautiful tea light teapot that I was admiring at Miracles from Matt & Lindsay. It's so pretty - I have it burning right now. I couldn't wait! Larry got Season 5 of 24 from them. T and Misty gave us a gift certificate and some bath and body works perfume. We got some beautifully wrapped food stuffs from Aaron and Hannah, and some photo holders and calendar from Mel & Judy. So special!

So we headed home and I've been putting the finishing touches on everything for tomorrow morning. As I can't wake up to any mess without being depressed, I cleaned anything that was out of sorts. Made the breakfast rolls for in the morning (the kids favorite) and Larry got all the stockings out. We rearranged the furniture in the living room and got everything ready for morning. Oh yes, we did let the kids open one gift tonight. Dustin didn't care about it and wanted to talk to his friends on the internet, so I'm certainly not going to force him to open a gift... pretty interesting when your kids will give up gifts to talk to a friend. (must be some friend!) Savanna opened up her Mr. Potato Head, and Jordan opened up his Superman hat. Then they watched the Little Drummer Boy while I finished up the last few things. I can't wait for them to open the rest of their things in the morning. How surprised they are going to be!

A few of my favorite things

I need to sit down and blog just to give my legs a rest. A few minutes ago I sat in the jacuzzi for about 20 min. I have literally been standing/walking all day, getting the cooking, church work, and housework done. I have cooked several meals...and I am still not done. Waiting for the next load of laundry to get done so I can finish getting the boys clothes ready for church.

Oh well, that 20 minutes was absolutely delightful. Larry had Chris Botti on the CD in the jacuzzi for me. When I was done I sat on my swing to dry off and our sliding door was open and I could smell the pumpkin pie I was baking, and I could hear the Amy Grant Christmas special in the family room. I sat there looking at the lights and swinging on my swing and just thought, "what a beautiful night." Thank you, Lord! While there I just took time to talk to Him about tomorrow's service.

Jordan bought Savanna a dress for Christmas and gave it to her today because he wanted her to wear it tomorrow for church. How sweet. Once she got it on I realized she did not have the proper things to wear under it, however I happened to have the perfect thing for her underneath the tree. So, I pulled it out and gave it to her, which she got all excited about. We had a little pre-Christmas excitement around here today. I can hardly wait for Christmas day. Larry and I have some HUGE surprises for the kids!!! I love giving!!! I can barely stand to wait another second. I love seeing my kids open stuff.

Tonight for dinner I made pistachio encrusted baked chicken breast. No one wanted it but me (can you believe that?) Steven was here for dinner again tonight and he wanted it, so I wasn't totally alone. They boys thought he was just being nice in taking a piece. I had also made butter baked chicken as well (I tried to re-create Cracker Barrel's recipe but I don't think I came close). Everyone else ate that. I guess I will be making the other for me when I'm by myself some night.

Well, I have basically just been cleaning, cooking and then cleaning and cooking again today, but it was a beautiful day. These are a few of my favorite things:

1) The smell of pumpkin pie

2) A clean bathroom (ours is!)

3) Clean sheets on the bed. I sleep so soundly every time we change them, which for me I wish could be every single day but just don't have the time.

4) New books! Just got one I ordered from Amazon today. You know, I keep telling myself, "STOP GETTING BOOKS. IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME, YOU SHOULD BE SCRIMPING." What can I say, I am ADDICTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was only an $8.00 book, alright?

5) Forensic Files (did I mention, that is my FAVORITE show?) Second runner up is Today's Detectives with Dayle Hinman. What an awesome woman. She and Nancy Grace are two heroes of mine. I love how they stay onto a criminal like a bulldog until they get them!!!

6) A clean kitchen floor. Larry is scrubbing it right now. A man is SO sexy when they do things like this!!! At least I think so. Somebody 20 years old probably would never understand that, but trust me, to someone married 20 years? Your husband scrubbing the floor is definitely in the romance category.

7) Bath tea bags. Just tried one for the first time yesterday. It was pretty cool.

8) The Message Bible. I know, you either hate it or love it, but I definitely love it.

9) A few days where I have totally eaten right - like the last few. I feel so good.

10) New folders. I got my new folders for the year and I'm so excited! (I get colorful new ones for work every new year and I like them bold and fun.)

Can't wait to see what God has up His sleeve for tomorrow. My legs have rested enough now, it's time to get up and start cleaning again for the last few hours before bed. G'night

Do you pray more than you think you do?

I had to investigate this thought recently when reading a book, Confessions of a Pastor by Craig Groeschel. He didn't talk about Pentecostals in the book, however I began to think about it from the viewpoint of my experience. Often I have leaned toward the thought that if you're really praying you are on your face before God, deep in fervent prayer and intercession, not multi-tasking, not doing anything else, just going after God 100% to the exclusion of everything else. Now I'm not so sure...

Oh, don't mistake, I think that's still important! And obviously especially as a Pentecostal pastor, I want to spend times doing just that. But I realize I have been too hard on myself about the amount of time I spend in prayer. Prayer, Groeshcel reminds us, is simply communicating with God - talking to Him. I do that all throughout my day. I ask Him constantly what to do about things, how to proceed, what to say to people. When somebody is talking to me, I try to listen to their heart but at the same time I'm saying, "God, show me right now what they need..." When I'm unsure, I instinctively turn to Him. When I have a creative burst, I realize it's from Him. I start talking to Him about all the details that start forming in my mind. I talk to Him in the car, while I'm walking, on my bike, in the shower, sometimes yes, when others are talking to me, I'm tuned out to them and tuned in to God.

Because I was doing something else all those times, I never considered it prayer, but instead to just be microbursts of conversation with God that didn't really amount to anything significant, but just a routine sort of thing. I now realize, what usually takes place - most of the biggest things that have happened in my life spiritually have often come out of those microbursts throughout my day with God, and not what He tells me when I'm laying with my face in the carpet, interceding.

I think if most Christians looked at this aspect of their lives, they might also be set free to realize, they pray a lot more than they think they do, because prayer is simply having a conversation with God. And lots of people do that each and every day although they may not be doing "carpet time" as some call it, or going to a prayer meeting. That's a freeing thought, it really is.

Be still my soul

Psalm 116:7 (msg) "I said to myself, "Relax and rest. God has showered you with blessings. Soul, you've been rescued from death; Eye, you've been rescued from tears; And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling."

I am SO ready for some vacation time, I can't even adequately express it with words. It has been a physically and emotionally exhausting few months. Fortunately, most things are lining up as far as getting work done that I'll be able to really do that. As far as "Christmas" it shouldn't be so difficult, for any of us, but let's face it, many times it is! Although it's about the Lord, it's also evolved in our culture to be something where certain expectations are there, even aside from the gifts, as far as gathering with people, entertaining, doing all sorts of things. People talk about the commercialization but for me it's more than that that sometimes overwhelms me, it's the activities that I have to be prepared for each time. And I feel like not doing those things is kind of "Scroogy" so I just do them. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a lot of it, but there are a few overwhelming moments at times.

I got the rest of the Christmas shopping done today, entirely. Larry and I were out, separately - all day. We met up for lunch and dinner, that was it. And we literally were out, he with Dustin, me with Savanna, from morning to night. FINALLY.

I got to a point standing in a mega line in Wal-mart where I just said, "that's it, not another moment of this once I get out of here..." and I'm...finished.

Came home and Steven was here to spend the night with the boys. I made them all a fried chicken dinner once I got home, and amazingly didn't even desire to eat any of it. Just doesn't appeal to me like it used to. Wrapped all the gifts and organized them (yes, I organize gifts in sections...they have to be "just right..." which my family thinks is funny. If they put something out I say, "no, no, no...that's not the section it goes in...") I know, I know...obsessive compulsive? Perhaps just a little... It sort of goes along with my habit of straightening salt, pepper, and sugar dispensers on restaurant tables, and straightening pictures in public places. I just can't deal with something out of place. There is divine order to things. Well, maybe not divine order to everything, but...order.

After cooking, wrapping and cleaning I also did some organizing of my papers and stuff and then went to get my bathing suit on to sit in the jacuzzi but since it's pouring down rain I think I need to just go take my suit off and get in my bathtub with one of these new "bath tea's" that someone gave me for Christmas. They are very intriguing. I guess it's sort of a new kind of aromatherapy. (which I love!)

It was a packed day, but now it's time to truly...REST, body, mind and soul.

The Gift of Christ-Mass

Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 (msg) Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure! Dress festively every morning. Don't skimp on colors and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God's gift. It's all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one!

All of the gifts are wrapped...except mine! Larry will do those whenever he wants. After making supper tonight and eating together, I decided to wrap everything left til' I was done while the guys were cleaning the kitchen. I got it all done and feel so much better. I do have some more things to buy for Jordan and Larry tomorrow, but I will come right home and wrap those and be done, done, done, done, done. Yee-ha!!! I love Christmas time, but I do stress a little bit until all the preparations are done. I'm just a "list" type person who has a little angst until everything is checked off of the list.

But despite that I do want to do as this scripture says about seizing life...taking pleasure in it...dressing festively (I like that part!)...and not skimping on colors and scarves (hey, goes right along with my philosophy that a person's least favorite color should be beige!!!) And relishing the spouse I love (I really like that one!) Yes, every day IS God's gift.

Today was a time of getting stuff done in preparation for time off. The price of time off is working real hard beforehand. I never did get all my work done today, and had to do more tonight as far as preparing a teaching, a power point presentation, and now I think I am all set for my down time! I will take the computer w/me on vacation to use in the car. I think very well there and write many of my messages, articles, and even books in the car on long trips. I usually do a major project or edit every time we go to Ft. Lauderdale. I am able to shut everything out in the car (I wear headphones if I have to) and I just block everything out, get out my Bible, get in the zone, and start creating under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Although I write on the computer in the car while on vacation I always make a point not to actually work once we get there, and enjoy the time off, for my sake, my marriage sake, and my family's sake.

We had a talk tonight at the dinner table about Christmas and the real meaning of it. I prefaced it by saying, "right now your father is not going to say a word, and I'm just going to talk..." It was pretty funny. Everytime the kids start talking about their Christmas lists, Larry gets so angry at them because of the attitudes they sometimes have. It's so different than the attitudes either one of us have ever had growing up...we knew the value of money more, quite honestly, and the sense of entitlement was not the same as kids these days. So, Larry can sometimes just freak out on them when he just get fed up with it, and give them a diatribe that just goes no where. But I calmly gave them one of my sermonettes and surprisingly Larry did not say a word, the kids listened to it, and we went on to the next subject. I can only hope it sunk in!

I guess everyone has to be reminded time and again of the real meaning of Christmas. Yesterday when talking to Rob Schenck, he said to me, "Merry Christ-Mass." I said, "to you too!" and he said that he has to say that to remind everyone around him there on Capitol Hill what the celebration is all about. They say to him, "What? What's that?" And he says, "Why do you think it's called Christmas? Because it's "Christ-Mass." Now if I can only get the kids to remember that as well.

This miraculous gift of life!

Romans 3:21-24 (msg) The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.

I was sharing with an unchurched person the other day and gave them this verse, in this version. The miraculous gift - the pure gift - is Him and the LIFE he offers to us. Why anyone would not want it, I cannot understand. I am incapable of living this glorious life without Him, for He not only GAVE me this life I'm living, but He makes it POSSIBLE for me to continue every day, no matter what comes my way! How blessed I am to have not only eternal life, but to have HIS FAVOR upon my life right now.

It was a busy day today. I probably should stop writing that on my blogs because quite truthfully, it's a busy day in my life everyday. So that is just a given. I had the hardest time getting up this morning because last night I had a slight headache and took a Tylenol PM to go to sleep, and it didn't quite wear off before morning. I stood in the shower forever trying to wake up. A mega strong coffee finally jolted me into getting to work successfully. (That's what everyone wants to hear, that their pastor sometimes survives on drugs. Ha ha!) Right now I am working both at the office and at home on getting 3 weeks of work done in a week. This is so we (all of us on staff) can take some extra time with our families at Christmas and just be on call for emergencies, and also my family will take some vacation time after that. So...it necessitates having 3 weeks of my stuff done in advance.

Talked to Rob Schenck today and booked him for 2007. Can't wait to have him come again. He had called Larry and I yesterday just to wish us a Merry Christmas. He had been on my heart the last few weeks actually so I was real glad he called. When I got ahold of him today he said, "I need to get down there to Tampa...I'm suffering from Shrodes deprivation." (He's so funny!) What a good friend he has been to us over the years and he tells us we're the same to him, and what an honor.

I had lunch with Sue today as well. We had our last lunch of 2006 today - just wanted to squeeze another one in. We met at Jason's Deli and caught up on everything. Susan gave me a beautiful basket of things at church tonight - a Christmas gift she has been working on for me for TWO MONTHS. You know when somebody's compiling a two month Christmas present it's gotta be some gift! It amazes me how God gives me the desires of my heart. So many things in that basket, I've either run out of (make up supplies) or, they were just "wants" I had thought about...that I now have thanks to her gift! I really believe some people are spirit led in their gift giving. It's amazing.

After church I had a quick practice, but Larry and the boys and Pastor T and his family went to the Rocky Movie. Savanna and I took Shelby home. We had a nice talk with her on the way home. We then came home and I started wrapping gifts for a while I'm tired out and SR took over and started wrapping. She is a tremendous help in doing this. I remember two years in particular we were up ALL NIGHT wrapping on Christmas eve and that was soooooo not fun. It was awful. I said, "never again." I try to wrap early but I run out of time. Now if I can only keep her quiet about what's in the packages!

Tomorrow is my last day in the office before Christmas. So much to do, so little time. But fortunately I can also work from home which I often do, to finish up everything. And even greater than that ~ I have the power of the Holy Spirit to help me.

Why I don't lay on the floor and eat popcorn with just anyone...

Proverbs 22:11 God loves the pure-hearted and well-spoken; good leaders also delight in their friendship. (msg)

It always amazes me how some don't "get it" about why leaders love to hang with people who are pure hearted supporters who speak well of you...true armor bearers and friends. Sometimes in leadership you experience miffed people who don't understand, "why isn't the leader spending all this time with ME that he/she spends with others? Why am I not invited to do more things with them?" Maybe others speak better of the leader, are always loyal, and truly want to learn from the leader and receive from them. I think of how Moses backed down from his detractors when they were pulling all their stuff and they didn't understand it. Why was the leader backing away? You know, it wasn't rocket science or anything. Leaders tend to lead people who allow themselves to be led, and are pure hearted, and...speak well of them.

So why am I writing this tonight? Stop guessing. I'll tell you. I'm not currently dealing with anything big about this (although I have many times over the years) but I was simply reading in this part of the Word tonight and found this and it drew my attention to the subject and reminded me about why I feel strongly about this! I guess although you might not be dealing with it full throttle all the time, every pastor is never totally without detractors, myself included. It's unrealistic to think you will never be without a detractor in the church or in your life.

I am so blessed right now to have many pure hearted and well spoken people around me and very few that I would describe as "detractors." I think my supporters are big mouthed enough that they pretty much drown the others out or protect me from them at this point. The favor of God especially this past year has been AMAZING. I am so thankful for it. I always want to live a righteous life so that His favor and protection will rest upon me when it comes to those who would try to harm me.

But a funny story from the past...I remember years ago in our previous church a lady was really angry that I spent a lot of time with certain leaders and not with her. Well, one reason I didn't spend time with her was because she was negative about everything, and spoke badly about me behind my back. I'm not just saying we disagreed on a few things. No, I mean she was trying to destroy me at times. Plain and simple, that's my reason for not including her on a lot of things. So, she said something about the fact that she heard that I got together with some of my leaders and did fun things, among them watching funny movies, laying around on the floor eating popcorn and laughing. She said, "I want to do that. Why haven't you asked me to do that?" I said, "There's only one problem. You hate me and basically want to kill me, so why in the world would I want to have you over, lay on the floor and eat popcorn and watch movies with you?" Somehow, she just didn't "get it". She never said, "no, I don't feel that way about you, Pastor Deanna..." or apologized for being divisive, but she continued to believe it was wrong of me not to spend the time with her that I spent with others, despite her despicable behavior. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

Years later and much more mature at this point, I don't even explain myself about things like this. If people get mad that I have leaders or friends over and sit in the jacuzzi or watch movies, or eat popcorn or even go on vacation together, they can just go jump in a lake or walk out for all I care. (If they leave the church I am seldom worried by it, since they are usually carnal Christians who have been exhibiting this behavior long term. In other words, they know the Word but just don't obey it. A baby Christian usually doesn't do stuff like this, they are too full of Jesus. New believers are typically very teachable people. That's one reason I love to be with pre-Christians, or new believers. If I don't have some in my life at all times, I get edgy! Life is just NO FUN without somebody you are leading across the line of faith, or currently discipling.)

One time a very negative lady at our church was trying to throw a guilt trip on me for where I spent my time and said, "I know you don't spend the time with me that you do some of the others..." and I simply said, "you're right, I don't," and went on to change the subject. I just don't have to explain myself to anybody on why a leader spends time with leaders, and those who are positive, bottom line. And, I've also learned ~ in explaining oneself...your real friends and supporters don't need to hear it from you anyway (because they already believe in you) and those who aren't a true friend or supporter won't believe you anyway, so just LET IT GO and spend time with who you want! There you go, tonight's wonderful morsel of leadership truth, straight from my heart to anybody who is up right now not able to sleep, reading this.

I don't say any of that to be cold or callous, but quite frankly life is way too short to surround yourself with people who are trying to hurt you. Why in the heck would I waste my time eating popcorn, or doing really anything with somebody who really isn't happy that I'm their pastor? Some pastors try for years to win people like this over, and then they say, ten years later, "By the time I left the church there, Bob wasn't trying to kill me verbally anymore and he would occasionally have coffee with me." First of all, just because Bob's not trying to KILL you doesn't mean he's for you. Second, wow, what a prize for having gone through 10 years of hell! To have a grouchy old guy now drink coffee with you occasionally. And we wonder why 1500 pastors in America leave the ministry for good, every week? (This is according to Focus on the Family) They are trying to get too many nasty people to drink coffee with them who really don't like them. I just don't see anywhere in the Word where Jesus says, "find out who your detractors are, and hang with them." (On the contrary the book of Titus says to warn a divisive person once and then after that have nothing to do with them if they keep it up. That's not Deanna talking, it's the Bible.) The other thing is, I've got way too many wonderful church family members and friends to spend time with to throw what little precious time I have toward malcontents. I decided long ago when I came here to NS not to let the squeaky wheel get the grease. I sit in Starbucks with those who many times try to treat me to my coffee, not think about putting arsenic in it. :-) I've learned that among many other lessons these last 20 years in ministry.

Today I had a huge agenda of things to do and it included going out and getting some errands done but I ended up on computer work all day, among many things finalizing the 2007 calendar. Larry cooked dinner amidst a phone counseling session. He made chicken and rice. He was on the phone a long time so we didn't eat until 8 pm, but when we did I lit all the candles and put classical Christmas XM on and we all had dinner and talked a while. Right when dinner was over I immediately started cooking something for tomorrow night. The last thing I want to do before Wed. night church is cook, so it helps when I already have something ready or we just do a lean cuisine. So I got tomorrow night's dinner done and then Larry and I went for a walk around Risen Star Dr. I have been wrapping Christmas gifts and cleaning but now it's just time to lay down, read a bit and sleep.

I'm trying not to stress about all that's left to do before Monday. Larry's telling me, "let it go, don't worry about it...we'll get it done on our day off Friday." So, I'm choosing to believe him!

10 things you may or may not be wondering about

If you were independently wealthy and could do anything in life, what would you do?
The same thing I’m doing now. Except I would spend a lot of that money on book publishing.

What one thing about you would people really be surprised to know?
I once played on a sports team. (soccer) And no, I don’t like playing team sports, in fact I detest it. But I do love being on a church pastoral team.

What is your least favorite way to spend a day?
Housework – but I try my best to find ways to make it fun.

What was your favorite TV show as a child?
The Partridge Family.

Be honest…if you have children, do you have a favorite?
Honestly they are all my favorite in some way, not just saying that to get out of this question! Dustin is my favorite because of his obedience. Jordan is my favorite for his affection and tenderness. Savanna is my favorite because I can do girl things with her, and enjoyed our time together so much from the day she was born.

What is your idea of the perfect date?
Dinner in a high rise hotel – on the top floor in a restaurant – overlooking the lights of the city. Restaurant would definitely specialize in seafood. Going straight to the hotel room after dinner.

What is your idea of the perfect vacation?
So many ideas, but above all would really like to stay at an “all inclusive” resort on the beach, where I have nothing to do but relax and have fun.

When have you been the happiest in your life?
Right now.

What is your favorite TV show right now?
Forensic Files

What is something that really bugs you that people do in stores?
When they put an outfit back on the wrong size rack and I get excited about it and then realize it was a size 4 put back in the wrong place. Sometimes you have to pray in the spirit for an hour to get over something like that.

Work and rest

II Thessalonians 3:5-7 (msg) "Our orders—backed up by the Master, Jesus—are to refuse to have anything to do with those among you who are lazy and refuse to work the way we taught you. Don't permit them to freeload on the rest. We showed you how to pull your weight when we were with you, so get on with it. We didn't sit around on our hands expecting others to take care of us. In fact, we worked our fingers to the bone, up half the night moonlighting so you wouldn't be burdened with taking care of us. And it wasn't because we didn't have a right to your support; we did. We simply wanted to provide an example of diligence, hoping it would prove contagious."

Today we had the last staff meeting of 2006. Then we celebrated by going to staff lunch at Five Guys, and then Coldstone Creamery. Yes, we really "blew it out" today when it came to the fat quotient in our diet. Wowza. I don't want to think about it. :-) I had a special holiday flavor of ice cream - dark chocolate mint. So fattening but...it was really good!

Well, once again I'm so blessed to be working with the people that I am with. II Thessalonians 3:5-7 is one of my favorite scripture verses. I know it sounds kind of crazy to some, but I have "stood on it" through some hard times of working with some real sluggards. Reading scriptures like that let me know that what I expect out of myself (an an example of diligence) is also what God expects not just of me but of others. Many people are comforted by the Psalms. I am too. But strangely enough scripture such as the aforementioned has actually been like a soothing balm to me when I have been struggling and wondering if I was the crazy one. I would read it and know, I was on the right track and someday I'd have the joy of people walking alongside me who also were walking the same track.

With our team we have now we can see that an example of diligence DOES prove contagious. Just look at what has happend in 2006! It's amazing. We're going to look totally different this time next year because we are headed for something more than any of us can imagine.

Well, speaking of hard work, I'm needing some rest. No, I'm not writing this as a complaint. Not at all, and in fact I always hesitate to even approach the topic when I am ever tired because well meaning (but ignorant people) say, "just quit..." or crazy stuff like that. Usually people who tell me to slow down, scale back or quit are people who just don't have the wherewithal to be diligent themselves, so I'm careful of even getting into conversations like that.

Actually, I don't understand my fatigue. I purposely slept 8 hours last night but I'm still beat. I woke up that way and Larry says it's just the after effects of a Sunday on my body and emotions. Larry and I were listening to a leadership teaching on the way home and I was leaning on his arm and fell asleep and never heard the last four points of the thing. When we got home he agreed to do some housecleaning (praise Jesus!) and let me rest so I would be coherent enough to spend some quality time with him [translation: intimate time] before I try to sleep another eight hours tonight. I'm going to take a nice hot bath and relax for a while even though I have Christmas wrapping to do and I really should have gone out tonight and finished the rest of the Christmas shopping, I honestly just do not have it in me. I started early this year, I really did. And still...here I am with these loose ends still abounding...

My goal next year is to be done shopping by Dec. 1 and just enjoy the month. Until then, I'm going to enjoy lighting the candles, getting in the tub, and getting some rest tonight.

Just another manic Sunday...

First let me start by saying, it has been such a warm weekend. I was actually wishing I had worn lighter clothing today. Today it truly felt like a tropical Christmas, at least IMHO. I'm thinking about wearing a tank dress to the office tomorrow if the weather's the same!

Well things were pretty crazy today from start to finish. I was prepared. Despite a busy week going 90 to nothing, I would say that I was totally prepared for this day, but many things out of my control happened. In looking back I said to myself and to Lar, "how could I have changed this or that?" (I can control myself so that's always the first thing I look at changing the next go round.)

Well, I can honestly say, there's not much I could have done to prevent the things that went wrong today. I could change myself all I want and the things that happened would have still happened. I even gave myself lots of extra time before church to get things squared away and I was at the church before 7:30. Still, it was a manic day. It seemed nothing went right for me.

On the way to lunch the Lord had prepared a DJ with exactly what I needed to hear...one of those moments I was certain was "just for me." A Yolanda Adams song was playing that literally reached down into my heart and spoke to the core of me. I know it's just a recording but I could feel the anointing of God just descend upon my car. That was it. It got me through.

There will just be days like this occasionally where it seems like everything goes wrong, but there are times like the previous two Sundays that make up for all that. And let's hope next Sunday, Christmas Eve, is one of those type days! (Especially with all the visitors we anticipate. Larry is taking every single sanctuary type chair that we have on the property and fitting it into the sanctuary somehow.)

Took the staff women ("leading ladies" as I call them) to lunch today to Miracles Tea Room. We had lunch and I shared some things on my heart with them for the coming year. Wanted to do this before 2007 even started and get us on course for the coming year. It was a good time together and I think they also really liked Miracles. It's one of my favorite places to go to just let down and relax. I am so blessed to have the women we now have. (Thank you, Jesus!)

Speaking of relaxing, never have I been so glad to come home and sleep tonight. I am anticipating climbing into my bed which just has to be THE most comfortable in Tampa, possibly in the world. As tired as I am I still can't wait to spend some time with Larry tonight. Excepting my relationship with the Lord, nothing makes me happier than that.

It has just been an exhausting day all things considered. Tonight was the kids Christmas concert. The children did very well. Savanna sang in a trio - I was very proud of all of them but of course there's nothing that makes you feel the way you do when your own child does something. She loves to sing. I actually hear how good her voice is when she has headphones on and sings out strong and doesn't worry about who may be listening. Tonight she was in the car and had Kelly Clarkson on in her headphones and was belting out, "Since you've been gone! I can breathe for the first time!" Always funny to hear a kid singing something like that because of course they had no idea why someone would even sing a lyric like that. It means as much to them as April 15. (ha ha! NOTHING til' you're an adult!) But she sounded really awesome. Now if I could just get her to do that in church on a solo. But I don't push her. She'll come around in her own time.

Anyhoo, they had a reception afterwards with cookies and punch and the children's ministry raised $1,000 and Pastor T ended up having to get a Mohawk. You know, it actually looks AWESOME on him, at least I think so. I think it looks fantastic on him and I heard several people say the same. After coming home from there we headed over to Bernie and Lisa's for some fellowship. Good times. Sat out on their lanai together and enjoyed the time catching up.

You know I said many things went wrong for me today and quite truthfully that's the case. However ~ despite all that, God really spoke through His Spirit this morning in our service and said some things some desperately needed to hear and the Lord ministered in a deep way to those individuals. And for that, I would just say - no matter what else went wrong, the Spirit of God was present - hope was brought where people felt hopeless. And that, after all - is why we're here.

We GET to do this!!!

II Timothy 1:6 (msg) And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed—keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.

Tonight we went to the Ruiz family's house for dinner and enjoyed a great Spanish meal. Isa made salad, roast pork, yellow rice, and cheesecake. So good!! The conversation and time spent together was even better. What wonderful people. Savanna decided to stay the night with Chelsea, so it was just the guys and I coming home. The pictures above are of Chelsea and Savanna when Chelsea spent the night a few weeks ago and then Larry took the girls to the Ybor Christmas parade. The city had actually brought in snow for the parade and then they had ice skating. They had so much fun!!!

You know, some pastors don't spend very much time with their people, and I have never understood why. I "GET" to do this! How incredible. It is my privilege to do life with our church family. I do not consider it a drudgery to spend time...to connect...to do life. Why some pastors totally isolate themselves (even amidst the hurts that come - I know them all too well) I don't understand. Despite the occasional hurts, to be isolated hurts even more. To join our families together for sharing and fellowship is one of the great loves of my life and I can't understand how any minister thinks they can build a church without it, unless their goal is just to draw a crowd, but not grow a family of believers. I've seen those people who simply grow crowds and not families and it seems years later something comes crashing down. Either the pastor, the church or both end up in disaster some way. That's because we're to build a body of believers, a household of faith - not simply a crowd. I really do think that's possible no matter how big you get.

I have noticed over the years that so many ministers and spouses have this idea of "the church" being the enemy and something they have to separate from their family, They fight to make sure "the church" doesn't take over their lives. So many try to put "church time" and "family time" in a box, but quite frankly I don't think the most successful people do that because priorities quite frankly depend on what's going on. I've had some very wise people tell me that who have been in this thing for many decades and have successful marriages, families, and churches.

Things don't just fit into neat little boxes...you have to go with the leading of the Lord every day. You hear about these people with priority lists - you know, like 1) God 2) Family 3) Church or 3) work and 4) church, but things don't always work by lists. Sometimes "life" happens. Stuff happens I don't expect with the kids, with the church, with anything and everything. There are times that are definitely ordained with you to be with your partner, your kids, or church people exclusively, and there are other times there is a blending of things. I think the blended lifestyle is the one we have embraced the most.

Dr. Lee once said he raised his family "in the ministry" and he and Sis. Lee included their kids on everything they ever did in ministry because as he says "the ministry is all consuming...so involve your family in it and you'll end up spending a lot of time together..." That's been more of the route we have taken - they have been raised in the house of the Lord, not observing us, but DOING the work of the Lord along with us. I think it's great for kids to see their parents enjoying the house of the Lord, and God's people. Kids do more of what you DO than what you SAY anyway. Mine have literally been raised in the church. We even had cribs for them there when they were little. (Yes, really!)

Many families talk about how they have to go to great lengths to get their teens/kids to church...how there is fighting and arguing, and they have to force them to go. Amazingly, in 17 years of having kids Larry and I have never had that problem. They have never asked if they had to go, or bellyached about it. Most of the time they have a lot of ministry responsibilities to do that they know have to be fulfilled and people are counting on them to do them. They are either scheduled to play an instrument, run the powerpoint, do kids church or something. Rarely are my kids just sitting. They also tend to really enjoy the people of the church, probably because Larry and I have always enjoyed the people of the church. Even when we have had problems over the years and certain individuals have been an issue (a negative one) there has always been the majority of the family that has been enjoyable, and that we've continued to not only do ministry with, but do life with in general. Rarely have we not had a houseful even on holidays. Our kids are used to the fact that 50 people may be over at any given time. And they like that.

Like I said, I can't imagine why pastors don't want to spend time with their people. I enjoy some solitude on my day off, and I always need a few hours to myself each week and a date with Larry. BUT...aside from that, Larry and I and the kids like to connect with as many people as possible. It's our privilege, our honor, a miraculous GIFT the Lord has given us.

Tonight while at the Ruiz's I noticed that they have our family picture on their Christmas tree. The other night at the Currie's party I noticed it's on their fridge. These are just two of many that I've seen our picture somewhere in their home. When I walk into our people's homes and I see things like that it makes me realize we truly are "family" and in each other's hearts not just on Sundays or Wednesdays, but all throughout the week.

What a joy to not only be the parents of three natural children here on earth, but to be the spiritual parents of a wonderful church family. There is no greater honor. So why don't some people "get" that they don't HAVE to do this, they GET to do this? Wow, I never lose the wonder, even with some crazy stuff happening over the years.

The Pursuit of Happyness

Yesterday on our day off, Larry and I went Christmas shopping all day until we were too tired to shop anymore and then we went to see The Pursuit of Happyness. It was really good. Right in line with my belief that if life does not give you the circumstances you want...create them. Extremely inspiring. Life truly is what you make it, despite what circumstances may be thrown your way. Dustin and Jordan went to see the movie just a few hours before we did, then Dust went to spend the night at Steven's and Jordan went to spend the night at Keith's because they went surfing early this am. Savanna spent the night at Morgan's. So...that made it nice for Larry and I because not only did we have a date at the movies last night but we had some time to ourselves both out, and at home. :-) Which is ~ always welcomed and taken advantage of. "Maximize the moment" is my motto, or at least one of them.

Today we slept in but I have had to get my teaching ready for tomorrow morning. It was the last thing on my initiative list that I did not have done, so as soon as I got out of bed I started finishing it. Right now I'm teaching on what to do when under spiritual attack. It's a good series, I think. I'm starting to develop it a little bit more and by next week we should be flying! We had odds and ends to do all day to wrap things up for tomorrow. I really have more housework and wrapping Christmas stuff to do today - actually a whole lot of it. But it's probably not all going to get done until at least Monday evening. I want to keep the focus on the service tomorrow and make sure our game is on. We're headed for another great weekend, I do believe.

It was a busy day in the neighborhood

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for neighbors...would you be mine? ~ Mister Rogers

It was a busy day in our Northside neighborhood today. It was a good day. Nothing "WOW" to report, just an all around good day with a ton of stuff to do. I got all but one initiative done, so I still have some loose ends to wrap up Saturday, but we'll get there - no problem. Finished our message and powerpoint today for Sunday's "It's a Wonderful Life" message. I feel good about it. Planned out sermon series for the first few months of 2007 and working on the rest of the year. We should have that done by next week for the upcoming year. I am very close to having the 2007 church calendar done. What a bear this year. It's 11 font, and 6 pages, count em, 6 single spaced pages! I know, that's crazy. Things are so busy because we have so many ministries on the move now, doing so many incredible things. No complaint here! I'm just trying to be the "air traffic controller" as I call it, to make sure we don't clash too bad as far as facilities, whose got what booked and when. We've got tons of stuff going on all at once now, just a matter of making sure nobody needs the same room at once.

We came home and Larry made chicken for dinner, and Jordan was catching up on episodes of LOST to be ready for the new season in February. I watched it with him again...just wanted to see the last episode with Kate and Sawyer again. I've been waiting for that since episode 1!!! I had big plans to get a lot of stuff done tonight but aside from dinner, watching LOST with Jordan, and having a wrestling match with Larry on the bed and snuggling, I haven't done a thing. But you know what, I really don't care. I'm enjoying the fact that I worked hard this week and now it's time to let down a little bit.

Makes ya wanna pull your hair out! (or someone else's)

Okay, so now's my perfect time to talk about an issue that drives me crazy, but I have to wait til' the right time to talk about it. Why? I have to wait til' a time when no one in the church is doing this (at least that I'm aware of) so that it won't seem like a pointed blog at someone.

I just don't need a brou ha ha with the issue of somebody specific being mad at me. So for any of you who suspect I'm talking about you - I'm not. Cross my heart hope to...(well no, let's not go that far.) But I will say, honest to God, I'm not aware of you. Your behavior is a secret - at least from me, for now. But if this blog convicts you, maybe it's something to pray about or at least think about. Then again, if you just wanna take a swing at me because you simply disagree with my opinion...well, get in line. But what I really suggest is that you come to the altar and be delivered. Okay...

When this happens, I so often want to speak up. I just wanna give a verbal zinger. I know that's wrong. A verbal zinger is not right, but I at least should give some pastoral advice given in the right spirit. But I never have. Maybe it's that I'm afraid I couldn't do it without a zinger, I don't know. Maybe I'm just so irritated I walk away. I guess I just stay quiet and try my best to be a good little pastor/pastor's wife when somebody does this, and not react to it, at least in the wrong spirit. Well, here we go...

Pet peeve #3,659 of mine...it really bugs me when people pray so hard about getting something and then do nothing but complain once they get it. You've heard the saying, "you better be careful what you pray for, you just might get it."

The main example that drives me insane is when women try so hard to have a baby and then do nothing but complain once they get one. You can sort of understand when it happens with a first time Mom. First timers have no idea what they are getting into, perhaps. But the second time and thereafter Moms are the ones that drive me crazy. This is basically what they do...

They go through trying their darndest to have a baby. Some even go through miscarriages. They hold their breath each month while they take the test and see if the stick turns pink. Is there a line? Isn't there? Maybe they even end up having to adopt a child. So then finally the time arrives when this precious bundle of joy arrives, and what do they do? They whine about the stress of motherhood, how tired they are, how frustrated they are with their child's behavior, how little time they get to themselves, how they have "lost themselves in Mommyhood and are trying to work their way back to the surface." Give me a break. One woman who I no longer pastor had a child that was a few years old, then a miscarriage and longed to have another child...then when she had one did nothing but talk about how overwhelmed she was with motherhood. And I wanted to say, "why did you want so badly to be a mother if you complained all the time with the first kid about not having enough time to yourself, dealing with their "strong will", having a 24/7 job, ad nauseum? My message to these kind of women is: please don't ask me to pray for you to have a kid if you are just going to talk to me about how the little ankle biter has taken away all of your identity as a woman and you are "overwhelmed." Please, please, please, read the books on motherhood before you conceive and realize - this is a job, and it is tiring. If you're not wanting to sign up for that, then please think twice before having another one.

Being a Mom is really not just about little people who smell like Baby Magic and buying little pink dresses and tiny miniscule shoes that are just too cute. These little people have the propensity to stay up all night, to scream, to get on your last nerve. When they drop a piece of buttered bread on the floor, it will land butter side down, guaranteed. When they throw up, it will not make it to the trash can, guaranteed. When you need sleep the most, you will not get it. Please, do us all a favor and take your pills if you are not ready for that. Kids are W-O-R-K plain and simple. You have heard it said before, this is the most rewarding job you'll ever do, but also the hardest. Keep that in mind when you are coming to the altar bawling and squawling and asking all of us to anoint you and pray for you.

I just really feel if people are going to complain about the kids they have they should not have tried so hard to have them in the first place. Kids don't ask to be born into this world. If you worked so hard to bring them into your family, then be glad they are there. Stop talking negatively about how hard it is to be a Mom all the time, and BLESS this area of your life. When you TALK blessing, you GET a blessing.

I also feel the same way, incidentally about all the women who ask for me to pray for them that they will get a job. They may even ask me to be a reference. Then they get that job that we prayed so hard about and whaddya know...a few months later they are asking me to pray about their mean boss, and the hours they work that are overwhelming them, and the co-workers that are driving them up the wall. WHY, WHY, WHY did I waste my valuable prayer time going before the throne of God about this job? I could have been praying for revival or our missionaries on the foreign field, but instead I was praying about a job you were just going to hate in 3 months and quit, and stop paying tithe on. :-)

No kidding, a few years ago I prayed for a lady who was being abused by her husband. She asked me to please pray that circumstances would happen to get her away from him for good. She was scared to ask him to leave and wanted him to leave, by a miracle, on his own. I prayed. Not even a few weeks later, he left on his own, for good. I thought, "halleluiah, this is incredible! Let's have a party!" Little did I realize a week later she would be bawling her head off at church, asking everyone to pray for her because her husband had left her, and she was "overwhelmed and devastated." I was a little confused by her behavior. So I did ask, "should we pray that he comes back?" "Oh no!" was her response, "I don't want him to come back!!!" So I said, "Well then, what do you want?" "I don't know," she replied.

I prayed for one woman whose husband was unsaved for 14 years. We interceded for him for years for him to accept the Lord. He experienced a glorious salvation experience and got totally on fire for God. The same woman shortly thereafter asked for prayer because her husband was "neglecting her to spend all his time in prayer, the Word, and at men's ministries." She got upset because he wanted to leave her and the kids at home for the weekend and go to Promise Keepers. The nerve! Ughhhh!!! GO FIGURE.

You know what I think the bottom line is on this issue? ATTENTION. Some women want ATTENTION, plain and simple. And praying for something, then complaining about it is an easy way to get attention. Now the focus is to go from praying about their conception, or getting a job, to praying them through being able to handle a child they can't handle and the job they now hate. The focus goes from praying for their unsaved husband, to praying that they can handle their now-saved husband whose attention has gone from beer drinking and sitting in front of the TV to being at men's ministries and working on outreaches at church all the time. All this can make a pastor very tired.

My prayer is that instead of getting pregnant with a child they can't handle or landing a job they hate, that if it's attention they crave, perhaps they can submit themselves to get on a reality show or something that will give them the attention they so badly crave. Or better yet, come to the altar and get delivered from A.D.D.

Somebody reading this will say, "Pastor Deanna, I can't believe you said that. It sounds so judgmental." Fact is this: the majority of pastors (or I would dare say all pastors) have people like this they minister to, and it frustrates them greatly. They talk about it to their spouse, to another pastor, or to God. They just don't say it out loud to the offending person or on cyberspace for a million people to check out. The only difference here is that I expressed the frustration in this forum, and they didn't.

63 Things You Never Cared to Know About Me

Nothing super duper to report...had a typical great day here in Tampa. We answer our church phone with "it's a great day at Northside!" and quite truthfully, 99.9% of days there really ARE. Somebody asked us once, if it was a bad day, would we ever pick up and say, "It's a bad day at Northside...can I help you?" Uh, no probably not. We just suck it up on a bad day and keep going knowing that those are not typical around here.

Most of the staff was around today which is always nice when everybody's in the house at once. T, Linds, Matt and Larry and I went to lunch together and that was nice to have that time. We grab it whenever we can get it. We talked about everything under the sun, mainly what an absolute load of crap, "Emerging Worship" is. Suffice it to say, we all agreed, we aren't going to bring truckloads of sand in to the sanctuary, light tons of candles and burn incense while we do a Gregorian Chant and then switch over to something by Chris Tomlin. No, no, no. That's not our culture, definitely not. But we had a lot of laughs about it as well as a host of other things as usual, including but not limited to the difficulties of having a roomate (besides your spouse) and also staff "sayings" that each of us have become known for. (Lindsay: "I''m on Lake Magdalene!")

Aside from a good staff lunch, I got my part in Sunday's tag team message done, worked more on our monster calendar for 2007, studied my message again for tonight, and a lot more. I have only a few initiatives left for tomorrow to get tied up before Friday. Then the final loose ends get done on Sat. Larry and I are preaching, "It's a Wonderful Life" on Sunday.

Well, these things (questionnaires) are kind of fun to do sometimes. Just received this from somebody and I usually only do them when my mind has turned to mush as far as doing any serious creating or writing. Sometimes I just need something frivolous to end the night with that doesn't require any real brainpower. I'm tired from a long day at work and preaching tonight. But wanted to do a quick blog. So here we go.

63 Things You Never Cared to Know About Me

1) How old do you wish you were? I’d like to stay right here where I’m at right at this moment. Although I know life has to move on, I’m loving where I’m at! Every day is a treasure.

2) Where were you when 9-11 happened? In my bedroom, at home. As soon as I heard about it, I hit the floor and started crying out to God. I went back and forth between speaking in tongues and then the next minute yelling, ‘God, please whatever you do, DON’T FORGIVE THESE PEOPLE!” (I didn’t know who they were at the time, but my greatest fear was that whoever it was would say, ‘Jesus, forgive me…’ and have a mansion next to me in heaven. Am I the only one that ever thinks like this?) Since they are all still crying out to Allah, I think the chances of them living next to me eternally might still be slim notwithstanding a miracle, which I guess…salvation is the greatest miracle for all of us really. Anyway, those guys are kind of busy right now having sex with their 70 virgins, right? (Not!)

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Usually bang them with my hand real hard at least once and then walk away in disgust.

4) Do you consider yourself kind? Yes, most of the time.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Or if you have a tattoo, where and what is it? I don’t have one and never will. I believe as we grow, we change so much. I’m a totally different person at 40 than I was at 20. And that’s good, believe me. Well, a tattoo is permanent. I wouldn’t want to have permanent anything. I like to change my hair color every month at least slightly. I never wear the same nail polish two fills in a row. How boring. I like to change things about myself and having something so final does not appeal to me. Plus, when they are young women get things like cute butterflies tattooed above their butt but when they are like 60 they will have nothing bug a saggy butterfly on their butt. Uh, no thanks.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Definitely Spanish. Are you kidding? Spanish chicks have it made. They have a serious party thrown for them when they turn 15. They basically have two weddings but only have to actually marry one guy. I mean, I not only want to speak the language, I want to BE at least an honorary member of the Spanish culture.

7) Do you know your neighbors? Yes, I do. I think they all like me. I take them bread when I make it homemade. This tends to help out when I have dozens of cars parked down our street for a party. (Supposed to be against the laws in my neighborhood but nobody reports me.) I think they are afraid I’d take away the bread.

8) What do you consider a vacation? Aren’t all Floridians on vacation all the time? Ha ha. Seriously, anywhere alone with my husband for more than 24 hours. Love to have my toes in the sand…love to stay in bed all day…now THAT’S a vacation!

9) Do you follow your horoscope? Never. How pathetic. I read the Bible to get the scoop on myself. Psalm 139 and Jeremiah 29 basically tell me everything about my future.

10) Would you move for the person you loved? I have. But I'd never want to again. Fortunately I think I won't have to.

11) Are you touchy feely? I don’t like to refer to it as that. It sounds kind of creepy. I’m affectionate, very affectionate yes.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract? Definitely. I’m married to my opposite. And I’m still very attracted.

13) Dream job? I’m living it.

14) Favorite channel(s)? Lifetime and Court TV

15) Favorite place to go on weekends? Church, shopping on Friday (day off), to the beach when there’s time.

16) Showers or Baths? I usually take both once a day, usually shower in AM, bath at night. I’m a really “clean” person. When I was a kid I used to squat in the dirt so I wouldn’t get any on me. My kids think it’s funny that I have anti-bacterial wipes with me all the time. Although I'm not obsessive/compulsive, I am a stickler for things being clean.

17) Do you paint your nails? My nails are painted at all times, both hands and feet. It’s very important to me.

18) Do you trust people easily? No.

19) What are your phobias? Having my head underwater.

20) Do you want kids? I’m still deciding. (ha ha!)

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal? I used to but now I keep an online journal, it’s easier and a lot safer.

22) Where would you rather be right now? No where else – absolutely no where.

23) What makes you feel warm and safe? Sleeping with Larry.

24) Heavy or light sleeper? Depends – if I am listening for the kids/worried, then light, if I’m tired and very comfy and everything’s cool with the fam, I zonk out.

25) Are you paranoid? No, not most of the time. I try not to be.

26) Are you impatient? I would have to say probably a lot of the time, yes.

27) Who can you relate to? Very few people on an intensely personal level but other ministers who share my values, more than anyone.

28) How do you feel about interracial couples? I think it’s great. As long as you are with the person God wants you with, who cares what race they are?

29) Have you been burned by love? Yes.

30) What's your life motto? I have so many it’s hard to pick one…let’s see, some favs are: “Partner – it’s who I am, it’s what I do.” And “Anything worth doing is worth having fun doing.” And “I’ve been chosen to change the atmosphere.” “Think Big or GO HOME” just to name a few.

31) What's your main ringtone on your mobile? The theme from Wonder Woman.

32) What were you doing at midnight last night? I don’t think you really want to know the details of that.

33) Who was your last text message from? Pastor Lindsay

34) Who's bed did you sleep in last night? My own.

35) What color shirt are you wearing? Burgandy tank top. (I live in FL, remember?)

36) What are you listening to right now? My husband has a game on ESPN as usual. It’s sort of the backdrop to our life, except when in the bedroom, I insist on Heart XM there.

37) Name three things you have on you at all times? Wedding ring, that’s about all I have on me 24/7, but usually a cup of tea or coffee is very nearby and my cell phone, as much as I hate it, it’s a necessary evil.

38) What color are your bed sheets? White with pink roses.

39) How much cash do you have on you right now? None. I never carry cash. I’m a debit card kinda girl.

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken? Crispy skin but I have tried to give that up since losing 40 lbs. Otherwise…probably the thigh.

41) Whats your fav city/place? TAMPA!

42) I can't wait till . . . Larry takes me away for our anniversary this year.

43) Who got you to set up a blog? Nobody really had to convince me, I’m a writer at heart. It sort of seems like a logical progression to me…

44) What did you have for dinner last night? Chicken noodle soup.

46) Have you ever smoked? Yes, unfortunately. I don’t recommend it to anybody.

47) Do you own a gun? Yes

48) Tea or Coffee? Definitely both! My kitchen is decorated in a coffee/tea theme.

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? I’m not trying to lure anybody but the man I’m married to, and it’s not too hard to lure him. Just walk into the room, and bam, that pretty much does it.

50) Do you have A.D.D.? I’ve never been tested, but probably.

51) What time did you wake up today? 7:45

52) Current worry? Getting Christmas shopping done.

53) Current want? I don’t really “need” anything. But if I could “want” for anything it would probably be for the staff to take a trip together.

54) Favorite place to be? Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay with Larry.

55) Where would you like to travel in the future? I would like to go on a Carribean Cruise.

56) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? Tampa.

57) Last thing you ate? Chips and salsa

58) What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever is playing on XM Heart Channel, which plans in our room pretty much 24/7.

59) Last person that made you laugh? The staff members at lunch.

60) Worst injury you've ever had? I have had various illnesses and stuff that would be worse than this, but the worst “injury” as in accident or whatever – that would have to be my horse bite.

61) Does someone have a crush on you? I sure hope he does. I think so. Tonight he told me (quote) “I love you immensely.” :-)

62) What is your favorite candy? Dove dark chocolates.

63) What song do you want played at your funeral? Theme from Wonder Woman

Life is fun

We did the piano and vocal today for "Breathing Room." It's a very simplistic, "unplugged" CD. But I believe it will really minister to people. Keith and Kristina and I had a long day with Barry (his Dad) and got so much done it was amazing. Barry was amazed at how quick I bang things out. That's good or bad, I guess, depending on whether you like the CD! Keith is finishing the cover now and Barry is going to mix the CD this week. And I'm just...waiting patiently. Can't believe we did this at Christmas. The time is flying.

Time flies when you're having fun! That's something I do well. I believe everything we do should be fun or we shouldn't do it. Now before you say, "Some things have to be done, and they are not fun, and you just need to face it..." I don't agree with you. I'm the person who does my housework while blasting T.D. Jakes on the TV (I Tivo him) I don't want to just walk around non-chalontly doing housework, I want to have an experience while I'm doing it. If it's not T.D. Jakes, then I've got something on XM radio like salsa. Ya gotta get moving and enjoy life. It's just the way it should be. Decide this day that you will not scrub your tub one more time in boredom.

Ecclesiastes 8:15 NLT says, "So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people to do in this world than to eat, drink and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them." I think that's why we are so bent on having fun with our staff. I don't want to go to a job I find boring nor work with people I don't like. Life is just simply too short. Yesterday as we were leaving to go to lunch the guys went on to the van ahead of me and I ran out the doors excitedly hollering after them in one of my goofy moods. They hardly flinched because it's just common behavior but a telephone repair guy was out working on one of the poles outside the church and he came out looking at me like I was having a mental breakdown. Which...made me laugh even harder.

Today when I was done recording Barry asked me, "Did you have fun?" I was really intense most of the day he probably could hardly tell whether I did or not, but I honestly did. There's nothing more fun and exciting to me than creating.

Creating sermons...

creating songs...

creating table centerpieces...

creating babies.

I'll stop there.

Breathing Room

Well, tomorrow is it...the day I record my CD, or should I say...the day I begin recording my CD at Keith's Dad's studio in St. Pete. I feel differently about this personal project than any other I have ever done in my life (and by that I don't just mean musical project, but any kind of ministry project.) It's difficult to explain, but to endeavor to a bit...

This is probably THE most different type of CD that you have ever heard of. And although I'm not striving for it to be musically deficient, quite truthfully I don't care much about whether it sounds like award winning music. It's a lot bigger than that to me. I never thought anybody was going to hear these songs when I wrote them in the first place so I didn't really worry that much about musical excellence when I wrote them. Years ago you would have never heard me say that but today is a different day.

First of all, singing, playing, recording, doesn't mean the same thing to me that it used to. It's not my life, not my goal, not even my passion in life -- nor has it been for years. It's simply something that is a part of my ministry at this point, something I use as a vehicle to get a message across at times. But definitely not the main thing I "do" anymore. I used to live for it. Times have changed. I'm still a passionate worshipper, always will be. I love to worship God, but I don't feel pressed to sing all the time, make albums, etc. There's a difference between just being a passionate worshipper and being immersed in the "music scene." At this point in my life, pastoring, writing and preaching are my main life's passions ~ besides my family. So, why even bother to record another CD at this point? Well...

Whenever I'm upset about something I can usually be found late at night in my living room at the piano. Sometimes I'm there at 2 or 3 am. Song writing has always been one of my coping mechanisms. Sometimes when I'm just overcome with stress or grief, I'll just sit down and play hymns at night in the darkness. A few years ago when I went through one of the darkest times of my life, I wrote a collection of songs that were just between the Lord and I. Throughout most of these, I sing a verse of my own song, and then you'll hear a few lines of a comforting hymn woven through it...something like, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" or "Be Still My Soul". Then it goes back into my own heart-wrenching cry to God about my own personal feelings. These are songs of intensity that anyone who is dealing with depression, grief, hurt, betrayal or anxiety would really relate to. But I didn't write them to relate to anybody. I wrote them because I was hurting so bad I thought I would die. It was just my own private musical journal. These songs got me through.

Fast forward a few years later, I'm on the other side of all that pain, and here I was at Northside...and one Sunday morning the person who was supposed to sing for the offertory backed out. The music pastor here at the time said, "why don't you fill in and do something this morning?" (Knowing I can pretty much just turn around on a dime with a song and nobody realizes I never practiced...)

I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me in that moment to do one of these songs, rather than one of my customary sound tracks or something more "church service" oriented...you know, something that sounds more "TBN'ish", which is fine with me, that's cool too. So, for a minute I thought, "nah, this is a bad idea...people will think I'm suicical or something if they hear this music..." But the voice of the Spirit was clear. So I decided to do, "He Can Handle It". In the middle of the song, I see a woman sitting in the back of the sanctuary, with her head in her hands, just sobbing. Looking across the congregation, I see many kleenex's coming out of purses. After the service, I lost count of people coming up to me saying, "how did you get inside my head? That's exactly what I'm dealing with right now!" People begged me to do more of these songs, so I did. Several more of them and each time people would tell me how it ministered to them, how it changed their life. So one day in prayer, God told me, "put this collection of songs on a CD for people who are depressed and feel they have no hope...for people who think there is no light at the end of the tunnel...for those who are ready to give up." And then He also directed me to add a prayer to the CD at the conclusion, praying for those listening who don't even have the strength to pray for themselves, who need someone to stand with them...at 2 am, 3 am, when they don't know who to call.

I asked the Lord, "what will we call the CD?" A few weeks went by, I was still waiting for His answer when I was reading the Message Bible one night, and the the title of the CD stood out..."Breathing Room."

"God, the One and Only -- I'll wait as long as He says. Everything I hope for comes from Him, so why not? He's the solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul..." Psalm 62:5,6

When we are depressed, hurt, hopeless...waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel -- we can WAIT on Him, knowing that He is our Hope and He is the One who gives us "breathing room" for our soul when we feel that this thing, whatever it is, is suffocating the life out of us! When we feel it's going to kill us, we can stand firm and wait, knowing He is the solid rock underneath our feet and He has a plan. He's already in the future, just waiting to show us around. I'm on the other side of my pain now, and these songs are now a testament of what He has brought me through. I was "singing the right song on the wrong side" as I call it, and now living on the right side, LIFE IS GOOD.

Keith has designed an awesome cover for the CD. He and Kristina's creativity amazes me. The CD will have an "unplugged" feel to it. I'm hoping people will feel like they can identify with me sitting in the dark in the living room, just me and the piano. Basically after this is done, people will hopefully get the CD for their friends who are at a place in life where they have lost hope. My prayer is that somebody out there who doesn't know where to even start, what to say, where to go, what to read...someone who has perhaps LOST THEIR SONG, will pick up this CD, listen and go, "I can make it...I'm going to hold on." My prayer is that somebody who is getting ready to end it all will pop in this CD and change their mind.

I know it's Christmas time, and life is on warp speed, very busy. And I need something else to do besides my normal church schedule as much as I need a hole in the head. Not only do I have my regular schedule, but it's Christmas! Only 2 weeks left and I am so far from being ready for "the big day." But...we've been trying to book this for months and this is when the time finally opened when we could get the studio time, so we're doing it now. God has a reason for everything and His timing is perfect.

My prayer for this is not anything musically grandiose. I am not trying to make a musical statement or have anyone walking around humming these songs. I just want to see people decide to press on instead of give up, and believe God for the abundant life that He has out there waiting for them if they will just hold on. Everywhere I go and speak there are women in particular who are so depressed. So many have lost hope.

This is basically a CD for depressed people. A crazy idea? Perhaps. But I know it's God.

10 out of 10 doctors recommend our staff meeting

Not only was yesterday another attendance high but more than that, much more than that, we had at least four salvations. Found this out as we all compared notes in pastoral staff meeting today.

This is really what it's all about.

After staff meeting we went to Jason's Deli for lunch (my choice!) and had a good day together as usual. You know, 10 out of 10 doctors recommend our staff meeting. They literally bring HEALTH. Laughter is medicine, and we sure do laugh a lot. My only regret was that I missed Pastor Lindsay today, who could not be at staff meeting/lunch. (Missed ya, S.P.!)

We're high again...

No, not on drugs...

in church attendance!

Another greatly blessed day at Northside. Our breakthrough last week wasn't just a fluke or something, it was reality. We are still riding the wave of this level, and getting ready for something big as we bust through to 2007.

Mug shots

Here are some of the people I love most...in my "coffee & tea kitchen"...

It's over

Our Christmas open house is over, and it turned out great! I think everyone had a really good time. With all the help I had this year (Lisa, Pastor Linds, Hannah) to get the food out beforehand, it was A LOT (i repeat a lot...) easier! No frenzied panic attack from me this year at the last minute when the doorbell is ringing. Here are just a few pictures from this great night.

Work like it depends on you, pray like it depends on God...

"The natural can be turned into the spiritual only through sacrifice. Without this a person will lead a divided life." This is what Oswald has to say today in My Utmost for His Highest. (My favorite devo)

I believe that in order to get to the supernatural we have to do the natural - to step out and work like it depends on us, but pray like it depends on God. My goal is to do that every day. To not only give an "honest day's work" but an EXCELLENT day's work. A "next level" day's work. Those two things together - praying and working, IMHO, are the keys to a miracle. Larry always says, "Expectancy is the breeding ground for a miracle." I believe that's true but I believe part of expecting is doing something while you're expecting.

Tonight was our Christian Education Christmas Banquet - a very special time at the Currie's. Very "next level" - as everything else has been in this 2006 year. With every day that comes and every thing that happens, I realize how far we have come. And...I can't wait to see what God has in store for 2007. We are at "the tipping point" that's for sure. I feel like we have actually had many mini-tips this year but we are getting ready for a Holy Ghost Tsunami in 2007, I can just feel it! The staff better get their surf boards out because we are getting ready for THE NEXT WAVE.

Other than the banquet tonight, I have been steadily working literally all day long, on the open house for tomorrow. It takes me at least 2-3 days to get ready for it each year, with everything that must be done. So much prepping to do. I try to do a "super cleaning" beyond the norm, and Larry works more on the yard each year. This year he wanted to do lights around the entire house, not just the front, and add another tree in back. So most of his day was spent on that. Aside from my 30 minute workout today (which I determined not to miss no matter what!), I have been prepping non-stop for the open house, cooking, cleaning and the like. Every year it's a ton of work, but every year I love it!!! I never regret doing it. This is part of what I thrive on.

This year I decided to get a few people to help me 2 hours before hand, to do all the "last minute" stuff, being that is when I go into frenzy mode. :-) Making sure every "i" is dotted and every "t" crossed. Some people tell me they wait all year long for me to make certain dishes that I do for this event each year. I am still not done...after church tomorrow I'll be working right up til the time that everybody arrives, but when they do...what a time we'll have! We have 72 people invited...our pastoral staff, admin staff, ministry leaders/dept. heads, and vision team members. It's a time when our house is packed out, and I have little "food stations" with the most scrumptious things you can possibly imagine, and beautiful Christmas music playing. Basically it's like this...I work like a crazy person for 2-3 days to get everything ready but once they get here I go into "June Cleaver" mode and act like it was all a piece of cake. And when they leave I can't wait to do it again next year!

Born to Fly

"But how do you wait for heaven...

and who has that much time...

and how do you keep your feet on the ground when you know...

that you were born...

you were born to fly!" ~ Sara Evans

Today is my day off. I'm enjoying it immensely. I went through my calendar and marked down all of the rest of the Fridays in December and claimed them as mine in Jesus name. :-) As a pastor, a day off just doesn't "come". You have to fight for it both in prayer and in the natural for it to take place.

Today I woke Savanna up and got breakfast for her and after she was off to school went back to sleep until noon. Honestly, sleep is what I need most on my days off to re-coop from whatever during the week. Most people would not imagine how much pastoral ministry takes from a person when they work this many hours a week. It is a challenge for all of our staff members, being that I think we now have the hardest working staff in the nation...and I'm so honored to be working with them.

I was happy to find out when I weighed this morning that I am almost 2 lbs. less. That's amazing with how loose I have been with myself lately but the only thing I can figure is, I am very busy and on my feet a lot, and also I'm back on the bike regularly. So, I got up at noon and went riding on my bike. It's a cold day here in Tampa. I know northerners would find that hysterical, but if I have to put on a sweatshirt - it's cold. It was beautiful out today and I enjoyed seeing people's decor in the daytime...all of their poinsettias and such that you cannot see at night.

As I'm out there I'm listening to Sara Evans on my MP3. Her song Born to Fly is one of my favorites because it describes how I feel about my life perfectly. I don't have time to wait to see what might come of my life or what heaven holds. I know heaven's going to be great - no doubt about that. But my life here? It's up to me to make the right decisions to make it great.

Too many people of previous generations just held on for heaven. They sang, "Hold the Fort" and songs like that and just decided to grit their teeth and hold on in this cold cruel world of sin until Jesus came back or took them home. Just look at most of the songwriting years ago and you will see I'm right. Most of it is about how terrible this world is, how it has nothing for us, how we just need to keep our eyes on the future...on "going home." I think heaven's going to be great, don't get me wrong. I'm so glad to be going there. But although this life is but a vapor, I see it as a phenomenal gift, albeit short. I want to maximize the gift. Not just "hold on til' heaven." Here on earth, God has a plan, but I have to work that plan. I think that's the issue with why many people have a boring life where they feel unfulfilled. They are unwilling to "work the plan". Because let's face it, working the plan takes...WORK. And to many, work is a dirty word. But I love work. Because there is RETURN for work.

Proverbs 12:14 tells us, "From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things as surely as the work of his hands rewards him." In other words, two things are very important - what we say, and how hard we work. We have to SAY and DO the right things. Proverbs 14:23 goes on to say, "Hard work always pays off; mere talk puts no bread on the table." Always boggles my mind when people can't see - if things aren't happening for them, maybe they are not working diligently. I realize nothing significant happens without God breathing on it. But the fact is, God waits for us to do something before He decides to breathe on something. There is no parting of the Red Sea without the people stepping in. There is no re-building of the wall in Nehemiah without the people actually clearing out the rubble.

There's an old gospel song, "I'll Fly Away". It's one of my favorites, just as many of the old hymns are. One day I will permanently fly away to heaven. But I'm not waiting til' then because I think we are born to fly here on earth. I'm not waiting for "one glad morning when this life is 'oer..." I'm waking up one glad morning RIGHT NOW and deciding to fly. I don't want to keep my feet on the ground. It's boring. I don't want to spend my life just washing socks and sorting them. I don't want to spend my life just weeding my yard. I don't want to expend all my time simply washing my car as cool as my car is. I want to FLY. Those things are mundane and must be done, but I do the mundane to get to the miraculous. Get me to the good stuff. My kids always tell me they hate being "grounded." Me too, figuratively speaking, I hope I'm the least grounded person there is. I believe it's always time to fly.

I am different

Okay, I have an earth shattering revelation for all of you out there in cyber space.

I am different.

You read it here first!

Okay, so for all of you who are going, "duh, we knew that..." let me say that most of the time I forget this fact. I go around just thinking I am living life, that I'm a "normal woman" and then something comes back around to slap me upside the head and remind me, "Girl...you are one unique chick..." I do have some things in common with other women such as hating to shop for a bathing suit, or having to watch my weight. I love tea shops and Starbucks, and getting new shoes. I love Lifetime TV and sitting on the beach with my toes in the sand. There's a lot of things I am crazy about that plenty of other women are. But when it comes to my call to leadership, my drive and passion and the way I live out the call of God, I am most times out there alone on a limb. All of those other things are fun, but what gets me up in the morning is the call of God, plain and simple.

Larry has often had to remind me that I'm different because sometimes I get frustrated at what I see as so abnormal about others. He tells me, "baby, you are DIFFERENT, how many times do I have to tell you this? Don't compare yourself to others because it's apples and oranges. You are set apart..."

Some things happened today to make me realize just how "set apart" by God I am. How differently I live than the majority of other women I am personally acquainted with. Sometimes I marvel at the fact that I am called to pastor women because so many times I myself don't understand them unless they are like me! Reality is, there are very few women who are eating out of my box of Cheerios. Pastor Lindsay is one. We can finish each other's sentences. We kiddingly call her my clone. :-) Or, we call ourselves the "Wonder Twins". ("Wonder Twin Powers, ACTIVATE!!!")

Well, I can lament how lonely this road can be sometimes living out this call, or I can celebrate it's uniqueness. Honestly for all the frustration there is in being "different" there are a few blessings to this kind of life and a few I can think of are:

1) Not many are eating out of my box of Cheerios, but when I find one or two who are...what a meal we have when we get together! There is so much to enjoy in our conversation. Having more than one "high flyer" in the room as I call them, is like spontaneous combustion.

2) Although I pay a price some don't have to pay, I also get rewards they don't receive.

3) It is so fulfilling. There is a wonderfulness about living out such a significant, purposeful call and doing it to the fullest.

I am different. And I'm so glad! You couldn't PAY me to be ordinary. Quite frankly, not only is it unappealing to me, but it scares me to death.

How long were you going to wait?

I have learned a lesson on prayer in the last 3 days.

Just when you think you've heard it all about prayer... :-)

Well, Pastor Max said something that was an absolutely prophetic zinger in my heart and didn't even realize it the other day when he was sharing in his q & a. On the way home I told Larry, "lets agree in prayer on that..."

I have to admit to you, what I was praying about I thought might take YEARS of prayer and fasting. In fact, duh, duh, duh (I feel so dumb) I had not even begun to pray about it because I thought it such a large mountain.

The facts I cannot describe on an open blog that can be read by millions. But...suffice it to say it was something weighing me down. So we agreed on Tuesday on the way home from Ft. Lauderdale to pray about it. Last night I spent about 15-20 min in Sanctuary B praying before service (for the service) but I also mentioned that request to God...for the first time. I thought it would be the first time of many.

Lo and behold before midnight on Wednesday night I had my answer. In less than 24 hours of praying about this thing, it's solved.

So this morning I am riding my bike and I turn my MP3 off for a second and start talking to the Lord and He says to me, "so how long were you going to wait before you decided to just ask me for it?"

Adjusting the sails

"You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream." - C.S. Lewis

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." - Jimmy Dean

So I further honed my initiatives today and I feel good about getting there...having a daily workable, breathable way to be, and to do. Still adjusting, refining and deciding exactly who I'm becoming. Someone once said, "It's never too late to become what you might have been."

I am so through with regretting anything I have the power to change. I am so absolutely done with complaining about anything I permit.

Today I wanted to get back on my bike again and after going a block I realized SR must have done something to the alignment of the bike, and...one block away my MP3 died. So I came home. This is what happens when you have kids who use your stuff. I have hidden the MP3 about 143 times now, but it's kind of hard to hide a bike. :-) I headed home and Larry fixed the alignment and I'll stop and get a battery on the way home tonight since the big pack of batteries I bought has also...vanished. This is what happens when you have 3 kids that have devices that use batteries and they permanently have earphones attached to their ears...

I guess my bike ride will wait until morning which is just as well. I enjoy riding early am or late pm most anyway.

It was good to be back in the office again. As much as I love co-horts, I also love being home in Tampa and being that our office is a totally fun place to be (a fantastic working environment if I do say so...) I miss it. I called home while in Lauderdale and T told me he and Aaron were headed to have Thai for lunch...and I lamented, Larry and I would not be with them laughing and talking about "the campaign" (inside staff joke) and the endless other things we talk about both serious and funny. It was good to be back today and most of the day I worked on the calendar. I will be so glad to have this baby off of my back. Every year it gets harder. I am thinking in 10 years from now this will be a monster. We will have to hire someone to do it exclusively, right? Just kidding but it is a real pain. Doing it this year showed me a new level that we are in - amazing that I told Larry this on the way to co-hort and when we got there, someone brought up, "when you are in the next level, this will happen with your calendar..." Larry and I looked at one another immediately realizing that it's a confirmation of what's happening at NS.

Time for church and being that I don't have any meetings afterwards, I think I may just get home at decent hour and be able to get a good night's sleep before tomorrow's workday. Yeah!

Ready, Set, Go!

Back from Church Life Cohorts in Ft. Lauderdale. Here's Christian Life Center, the church we go to for it everytime. What great leaders there. I love their pastors to pieces - they are in our cohort group and we have learned a lot from just sitting around the table with them and talking. Today we did a Q & A with Max Yeary, their pastor and it was awesome. The only problem was, I think everyone wanted about 3 more hours of it... :-)

You know, I do this sneaky thing all the time...when Doc says, "let's take a comfort break," I usually don't...I run over to ask Max or Nelson (their Sr. Assoc) a question that there wasn't time for before. I get all this great info from them, and then when Doc says, "alright, let's come together again..." that's time for my sprint to the ladies room. Ha ha! I don't think anyone has figured out my strategy yet and hopefully they won't. Anyway, I have a way of managing to get whatever info I need -- I'm just tenacious that way and just look for a way to learn all that I can. Larry has talked about how we learn as much from one another there in just the debriefing time together, sometimes as much or more as in the teaching material that is presented.

One thing I'm really amazed about with Pastor Max is that he's such a tender heart even after all these years in ministry. I mean, his heart is REALLY broken for the lost, and you can tell how much he truly loves people, and...he's still doing "relational ministry" despite getting hurt at times. At times I have thought, "maybe I am crazy to be this transparent/relational" but something in my heart just keeps telling me it's right."

To see someone like Max living this out after so many years (and 28 in the same church) ...well, it's just incredibly encouraging. So many people in his generation have given up on the idea of close relationships on staff or in the church because of what they have experienced in the past. Of course you get burned at some point, usually more than once and the enemy tempts you at every turn to give up on trying to stay truly relational...you know, the old, "familiarity breeds contempt" strategy.

The paradigm that they have there at CLC has always been mine and Larry's dream (of how we relate to people/our staff). Truthfully, many pastors don't have that same spirit Max has after doing this for so many years. So many become disillusioned and they lose their passion for people, for souls, and for even helping other people who are coming up in ministry. It becomes to easy to just get "professional". When we went through our split years ago I just wanted to close myself off and forget trusting anyone ever again. But something kept compelling me to stay soft and open. I can understand why even sharing honest information with other pastors is a challenge for some.

There is a transparency with Pastor Max that is just so refreshing. Hard knocks in the ministry have not hardened him. And Nelson is just so...sweet. Everyone just appreciates his kind spirit. He and Pastor Max have the same DNA, that's for sure. You know you can talk to these guys about anything from staff issues to where they get their macadamia nut cookies from that they serve for these "comfort breaks" that I always miss :-) They are just down to earth which is rare for pastors of a church of thousands. I think they have like 4,000 people or something like that now, it's pretty outrageous.

I took a plethora of notes this time as usual. Came home with a head bursting full of information. I wasn't on the laptop much on the way home...Larry and I had too much to talk about. This co-hort was very different for me personally because I came away with something totally different than perhaps anyone else might have taken away from it. What I got was not so much through the teaching in the sessions, but through things that Larry and I talked to Doc about personally at dinner and afterwards. Wow. This was very prophetic for me. Some things that Doc said to us completely set my course on some things I have been wondering about. I feel this is a very real turning point - next level - landmark moment - for me personally.

I had a thought months ago - can't remember the exact time because I thought in my mind, "that is SO crazy, it would never happen..." and I dismissed it quite honestly. But it's exactly what Doc talked to us about when we were by ourselves. I don't think I would have had that "crazy thought" if this didn't mean anything... I think that's how God works many times. He plants a thought in our head, or we get a picture of something, and we think, "nah...that couldn't be" but in reality he's preparing us for something to come.

Well, on the way home I did work on one thing in the car and that was my initiative list for my personal mission/vision. When I was done, I realize God has given me seven areas to focus on. Last night laying in bed mulling over all my initiatives (before I got them out on paper) I thought, "this is way too overwhelming. I'm trying to eat an elephant..." Literally hundreds of things were flooding my mind. But once I got it out on paper today, it seemed possible. So many things late at night when I'm trying to go to sleep seem overwhelming but then in the light of day they don't seem so large and looming. I kind of felt the Holy Spirit nudging me with a plan and I even asked Doc about that a little bit right before we left and got his feedback. Seven is the number of completion...I really believe these seven things are what make up the fulfillment of my life, my purpose, what I'm here for.

Now I realize, I need to keep this mission and vision ever before me on a daily basis and when anything crosses my path I need to ask myself, "how does this fit into my life mission? Is this an initiative I need to undertake?" If it doesn't fit, I need to let it pass and realize, it's not for me. If I am going to succeed at these seven things, they have to be where I spend my time.

I'm coming home tired after this trip, yet very energized in my spirit because I feel like I have direction...course corrections...confirmations...anticipating more than ever, new things for me personally, for Larry and I, for Northside, for all things...so...

Ready, set, go!

Stop the Clock!

In Ft. Lauderdale today/tomorrow for church life cohorts. It's always a very enriching time, with a lot to think about. We had dinner tonight with Dr. Lee and the Coopers. Always so much to talk about and not enough time! I love being sharpened by discussion like this. By the time I finish two years of this co-hort I should be like a razor! Praise God!

I have gotten to love this part of Florida since we have been here so many times. By the time this co-hort concludes next year, I believe I will have come here 13 times. I absolutely love it here, it's such a beautiful city with so much to offer. (Although I love Tampa more - that's my home , my missionfield, and my love ~ of course. )

I shared my thoughts with Doc tonight on the fact that happiness in ministry is who you work with. Relationship really is key. Doc sort of acted like it was a "revelation" too...it's so simple, yet why don't we see it many times? Doc said he has even worked on "mediocre" teams in terms of skill, yet was happier because of the relationships on the team. In our case, we have both - great skill and excellent relationship with those we work with. I guess until you have experienced both sides to the coin to the extreme, you do not see how life can be either way. In my case now, I have had the true heaven and hell tour (with the last year being heaven). So, I realize both how bad things can be, and then how good they can be.

Larry and I took Doc back to the hotel and had a good talk with him on the way back...I think the Lord arranged that time for us. We had a great talk about co-pastoring plus more...and you know, rare is the person who can understand the language I'm speaking on the subject. Dr. Lee is one of those people and it's so refreshing.

There is so much to do...we have come so far yet so far to go. And while I have my "initiative list" weekly that I follow strictly to get everything done, I think I need to make a larger initiative list that is my initiative list not only for the week, but for the year, and for the next five years. It's one thing to have a vision for an organization, such as the church. But every person needs a vision for their own life. I have a vision for my life...I have that all written out, as far as my purpose statement, my core values personally, etc. But I do not have an "initiative list" to stay on course with with how I need to continue growing, developing, improving. Sometimes I don't see beyond the week because the week has me so consumed.

I don't want to get to the end and say, "why didn't I look sooner at the big picture?" I have my "blue leaf" of goals and dreams. But I don't have the route to get there mapped out. I need to make a whopper initiative list and start doing things that are larger goals to be accomplished over years time. I think maybe I'll type that out on the way home from Lauderdale this time.

I get so much work done on these trips, it's outrageous. It's because I have four hours in the car on the way there and back and I work on the laptop the whole time, uninterrupted -- except for on the way back Larry and I also debrief about the co-hort meeting. So I'd say I type about 7 hours and we talk about an hour.

I wish I had more time. I know everybody has the same amount of time in life. No one else is given any more than me. It's all in how one uses their time. I just have so many things I want to do, I wish there was a lot more time to do them. My "big picture" is humongous and 24 hours a day doesn't do it justice sometimes. I am a woman possessed with purposeful dreams. In the midst of living out those purposeful dreams I want to do a whole lot of living and loving. Like Hezekiah, I want to say, "STOP THE CLOCK!"

Teamwork

Sunday night we had our staff/board banquet at the Colonnade in Tampa. It was a lot of fun, but that is to be expected with our group. What a year we have had - THE BEST EVER. For me personally it has been my best year yet. And it's due to two things -

1) God's power.

2) Our team. TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK.

In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins says the key to success is getting the wrong people off the bus, and the right people in the right seats on the bus. I think we've done that.

The right team makes the difference and there is no way around it.

Breaking through barriers

Well, we did it! Or should I say, "God's doing it!!!" We broke through our next attendance barrier today and had the highest attendance ever in four years on a regular Sunday. (Not Easter, Christmas, Mother's Day, etc.) Yes!!! I told the staff after service and did a little happy dance. Then said to Pastor Lindsay, "what are we going to do to celebrate? Have a tequila?" (ha ha, obviously kidding!) Actually, we will celebrate with an unsweetened iced tea and some exceptional seafood tonight at the Colonnade. Perfecto!

Larry's message today was, "Miracle on 16235 Lake Magdalene". The theme was obviously miracles, healing, a touch from God. The funniest thing happened today at the altar. One of the older ladies went down on the floor under the power of God and her wig fell off. It was laying next to her. I saw it and thought we needed to put it back on before she stood up. When she sat up I motioned to Pastor Linds, and together we got it back on her head alright. But I don't think she was happy with it, and she ended up pulling it off and just going back to her seat.

Get in reality

Once you are rooted in reality, nothing can shake you. If your faith is in experiences, anything that happens is likely to upset that faith. But nothing can ever change God or the reality of redemption. Base your faith on that, and you are as eternally secure as God Himself. Once you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you will never be moved again. - Oswald Chambers

It's 6:45 am, and I'm just sitting here with my coffee, oatmeal and banana...reading Oswald and preparing to leave for church. Sunday mornings are early mornings!

This is a good word today - that reality is what God says in His Word and not my experience. My faith MUST be based on this, not on what I see. That is why I continue to pray for people even though there have been times people are not healed. My faith is not based on my experience. Nothing can ever change God. My job is to believe for the miraculous. To stand on His Word no matter what.

This morning our service theme is miracles...and I fully expect God to show up and do something.

Just for me...

I Timothy 4:1 "The Spirit makes it clear that as time goes on, some are going to give up on the faith and chase after demonic illusions put forth by professional liars. These liars have lied so well and for so long that they've lost their capacity for truth. They will tell you not to get married. They'll tell you not to eat this or that food—perfectly good food God created to be eaten heartily and with thanksgiving by believers who know better! Everything God created is good, and to be received with thanks. Nothing is to be sneered at and thrown out. God's Word and our prayers make every item in creation holy." The Message

Tonight after ironing all the clothes for tomorrow, packing for co-horts Ft. Lauderdale, cleaning out my briefcase, having dinner with the fam, and a myriad of other things, I went out to sit in the jacuzzi for a while. I noticed with joy that in addition to the sprinklers being on on the golf course, (which I love), some of the houses across the lake are now decorated with lights. It brings me happiness just to sit there and soak and look across the lake. Sometimes very simplistic things make me very happy. I truly never lose sight of my blessings. Or at least I try not to.

I Timothy 4 tells us to enjoy things. Not to let "liars" talk us out of the joys God wants to bring us in life such as being married, and various foods. God says, "enjoy it with thanksgiving." Isn't it amazing how many people come up with reasons to not fully experience all the blessings of marriage (why it's unwise or even unbiblical?) And how many people come up with food rules rather than just teaching health and moderation? Just a thought.

The Word tell us to not sneer at any blessing no matter how small. I don't overlook the fact of everyday blessings God has given me...

Sitting on my patio...

Eating a dove chocolate... (had 2 little pieces today - sugar free!)

Walking hand in hand with Larry...enjoying that and all the other blessings :-) of marriage. Yippee!

Getting a sweet little kiss from Savanna... (we have a thing between us, whenever she asks me for something, I always say, "it'll cost you!" and she knows that means I want a kiss.)

Looking at Christmas lights...

Drinking a cup of tea...

Going Christmas shopping and having lunch by myself today. (I love being with myself! I think that's a mark of a very secure person, when they enjoy just being alone sometimes and don't feel awkward to go places by themself...)

Having our wonderful staff. Actually, this is more than an everyday blessing to me, it's still a miraculous, supernatural blessing that I am thanking God for constantly. It's been almost a year now. Our staff is AMAZING. They not only bring me so much joy, but they are responsible for the fact that I am not just committed in ministry, I am HAPPY.

My boys love the Lord and aren't afraid to let people know it...

Somebody just gave me some vanilla soap and lotion yesterday. This and many other things make me very grateful. I am so blessed.

Thank you Lord for the Christmas lights across the lake. Those people don't even know it but you had them put them there in their back yard JUST FOR ME.

Bringing up Boys

Here I am with my two sons...they served at last night's women's tea. Aren't they adorable? I'm so proud of them. They are turning out to be wonderful human beings despite all my mistakes.

You know, bringing up boys is a unique world all it's own, thus the reason for Dr. James Dobson's book, Bringing up Boys. That is one book I'm really glad I read. I found out I wasn't so crazy. Somewhat crazy? Yes, still somewhat crazy but not for the reasons I thought!

When my boys were very little I felt like I was the only one dealing with kids with this type of behavior. (Never wanting to sit down, always running around, leaping off of stuff, wrestling, etc....) One time I got them all dressed up for church when Dustin was about 2 and a half and Jordan was about 18 months. I woke up at the crack of dawn, got them dressed, then put them out in the living room with a Disney movie and said, "be good while Mommy gets dressed..." then went to get myself dressed. Meanwhile, Dustin mosies out into the kitchen and finds two boxes of Entenmann's chocolate covered donut holes up on the shelf. He proceeds to take them out to the living room where he and Jordan singlehandedly eat the ENTIRE TWO BOXES. I was horrified when I came back out. Well, I cleaned off their chocolate mouths, and took them to church. They went into Sunday School. The chocolate had them totally buzzed. They went in the room but couldn't calm down. They ran around in circles until they proceeded to throw up. All the while I am directing choir down in the sanctuary. Someone comes and gets me as I exit the platform to tell me the boys have just thrown up two boxes of donut holes. Yeecckk!! I could tell a zillion stories of stuff like this I went through when they were little. I used to just pray that I would survive those years. People would admonish me, "Enjoy them!" I was too tired to enjoy them quite frankly.

I have to admit I do find it 100% easier to raise teenagers than toddlers. Everyone told me it would NOT be so. Back in the day when they were both in diapers everyone told me how supposedly easy that was. Older women would say to me, "Count your blessings Pastor Deanna...little people people have little problems. Big people have big problems. Just wait until you have teenagers! You're going to be thanking God for these days!" An elderly saint once admonished me, "When they are little they step on your toes. When they are big they step on your heart." Well I guess the jury is still out on it because my kids are not fully adults yet. But I have found so far, they aren't killing my heart. Most of the time now the things they do make my heart quite proud. They are good boys. They get in trouble occasionally but nothing major. All of these admonishments I got when they were small were pieces of advice that I really don't think were right, at least for me. Are teenage years without problems? No. We face plenty of stresses like any other family. But one thing I have learned is that EVERY FAMILY IS DIFFERENT. There are no cookie cutter families.

As for me, I was a stressed out Mom when my kids were little ankle biters. My favorite stage was the newborn stage, with all of them. I love getting pregnant, being pregnant, and having newborn children. The "up all night feedings" didn't even bother me. I enjoyed it. I coped alright with the lack of sleep, all of the diapers, etc. All of them woke up a million times a night and nursed. None of them slept normally for a few years. But that was alright with me. What began to completely stress me out was when they began walking, and jumping, climbing and leaping. Then I turned into one stressed out mom. People would say, "enjoy these days! they are the best of your life!" I thought, "surely these people have not had many good days for them to say this to me..." Those days were SO STRESSFUL. Jordan would be leaping off the bars of his crib, or one of them would be screaming and crying over something without being able to communicate with me. I thought, "this HAS to get easier as they get older..." and despite everybody telling me the contrary, what my heart was telling me was right. For me (and that's the operative phrase here...FOR ME) it is easier having all three of my children older now.

I do not wish the diaper days back. I am now ENJOYING vacations. I am now ENJOYING talking to them. (They can be reasoned with, even though they are sometimes hard headed...but then again, so am I!) They can express what is wrong (toddlers just scream and bang their head on the floor or eat their crayons) They SLEEP IN. They have jobs so if they jump off something and break a bone, I tell them now that THEY have to pay for it. Thus, they now think twice before jumping off a building or from a tree. Yes, for all you Moms out there who are bringing up little boys and wondering if you will ever breathe again? Yes, the answer is...yes.

Holiday Flurry

Well, it's over! And it went extremely well, glory to God! So much better than last year. I was so disappointed after last year's event and when planning this year's I just prayed that we would not have a repeat of all the snafu's from last year. I took all the responsibility for it myself. Everything rises and falls on leadership, as John Maxwell says. Although others let things slip through the cracks, ultimately the buck stops with me. And I blew it. I didn't have my game on last year - I was sick...so sick I just prayed to get through it and do my best. The whole time I preached last year I had a fever and chills and just kept on going. I got through it, but although it was my best, it wasn't enough. At least for me. Other people said, "oh, it was awesome!" But you know, I don't measure myself or the event by what they say, but by what I know. What I know I'm capable of, what has been done in the past, what could have happened had we run on all cylinders. This year I prepared more, prayed more, and asked God to please spare me from being sick! So, what happened?

This year, I was very pleased with how things went. We had at least five people saved, and many people who were encouraged that came forward for prayer for other things. This is the MAIN THING, so above all else, I'm very happy about that! Thank God for his anointing.

The hostesses all did a wonderful job...music was good...things ran smooth as silk for the most part. The place looked stunning. Several people said it looked like a five star hotel. And I felt like I did have my game on. GOD IS GOOD. Last night I came home and just crashed. Never did my bed feel so good...

We slept in this morning til we could sleep no more. Savanna had Chelsea spending the night but they let us sleep and did not wake us up. They just played Barbie's and stuff. Larry decided to get up and take Dustin to work, and Jordan to a party, and then he took the girls to the Christmas parade in Ybor. I have been working around the house and running lots of Christmas errands. We don't have snow flurries here in FL, but I do still have holiday flurry as I flit here and there doing what needs to be done this month. Normally we both work (church work) on Saturdays each week, but this week I really needed a break from it if at all possible being that the outreach was last night. Tomorrow will be a full day and then our staff/board banquet in the evening.

I am getting more Christmas shopping done and it feels good. I have to be ahead of the game or I lose it mentally. If I'm going to enjoy the holidays and focus on the RIGHT THINGS, I have to not be stressed out about these type things.

The next big thing next to the staff/board banquet tomorrow night is my open house next week for leadership and families. We have about 72 people invited. It's always a highlight of my year to do this. It's a ton of work when I do everything I want to do, but it is worth it to me. I love doing things for people and doing them as well as possible.

If you can't beat em' join em!

I decided to pull a "Larry" on this one. I don't need this stress. After searching two closets, two cars, all our bedrooms and more, I am done looking for Dustin's suit pants. I said, "phooey on this today" and went to Target and just got him a pair of black dress pants.

He needs another pair anyway. For all of you who were praying, you can stop now.

I'm getting ready to do my final study/prayer for the message tonight right now. I am not spending this time I could be praying looking for suit pants. This is going to be a great night...nothing will stand in the way of it, not even the stress of looking for lost pants. I need to worry about lost souls right now, not lost pants.

Like Father, Like Son

Two men in my life are driving me crazy.

Here I sit hours from this outreach. And what am I doing? Trying to find Dustin's suit pants. He lost them.

Funny, I can't remember ever losing my suit pants, skirt, or jacket - but my guys do it ALL THE TIME. Since I'm the one that always gets their clothes ready, this is VERY STRESSFUL. Tracking down their outfits, their ties, their belts, their shoes, it can be a full time job. And I don't need ANOTHER FT job. I already have two...or more.

So unless I find Dustin's suit pants I have no idea how we are going to sing together tonight. I was looking for them til 1 am, some of the time in the dark. Why me? Well, he had to get up to leave for school at 6:30 am, Larry had to leave early for the funeral and I'm the last one leaving this morning.

But otherwise, you tell me? Why do I keep doing these things? Because it seems I'm the one in the family that cares about it.

Any of you people reading out there today, please pray that I find Dustin's suit pants. I have a lot to do today and if I could find them sooner rather than later, it would make my world a lot easier.